The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

What do you call a condom with money inside of it????

jonney cash..



What do ya call a black condom???

Night rider..


What do you call a red condom???

little red riding hood...:P

roy rodgers wrote: »

What do you call a condom with money inside of it????

jonney cash..



What do ya call a black condom???

Night rider..


What do you call a red condom???

little red riding hood...:P

What do you call a white condom?

Full.

May have posted this before:

Why can't the Dutch tell jokes timing.

last week i went fly fishing........caught a ten pound bluebottle

lecker Hendl wrote: »

My wife said she was leaving me the other night due to my obsession with The Monkees. I thought she was joking...and then I saw her face.

See post 1060 in this thread.

What's navy and blue and goes 'beep beep beep'?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BjrG5QQZxE BWAHAHAHA

chughes wrote: »

See post 1060 in this thread.

LOL what a loser. You're worse than someone who comments "FIRST!!!" on a youtube video..

Was reminded of this on another thread (sorry for posting it here as well)

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman "Can I have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie"
The barman is amazed but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.
The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.
The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit the pint and the toastie.
The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says "A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman"
The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down then walks out.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year.
In walks the rabbit and says, "A Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman", smiling and accepting the tributes of the masses.

The barman says, "I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties"
The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie"

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, "Are you sure I will like it"?
The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.
The barman, with a roguish smile says, "Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends, I know you'll love it"

"Ok" says the rabbit," I'll have a Pint of Beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie"

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie, he then waves to the crowd and leaves.
NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time.
When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

The barman says, "Who are you"

To which he is answered,"I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house"
The barman says,"I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in every night and have a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, masses came to see you and this place was famous"

The rabbit says, "Yes I know"
The barman said, "I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties, you had a Cheese and Onion one instead"
The rabbit said "Yes, you promised me that I would love it"
The barman said "You never came back, after that fateful night, what happened"

"I DIED", said the Rabbit.
"Blimey " said the barman,"what from".


After a short pause.







The rabbit said... "Mixing me toasties "

A squirrel walks into a bar, hops onto the nearest stool and says to the barman "Pint of Guinness please!"

Barman is a little shocked but pours the drinks for the squirrel. The squirrel hops over to a corner booth and happily drinks his pint.

A little later the squirrel hops back over and asks for another pint of Guinness. The squirrel seems to be in good form so he pours him another pint. The squirrel takes it over to his booth and drinks away happily.

A bit later the squirrel hops over again and asks for another pint. His slurring his words a bit at this stage but the barman decides the little fella can handle his booze, so he pours him another pint. Again he hops back over to his booth.

Later on the barman hears a noise as the squirrel knocks over his table and drunkenly staggers over to the door and out. It's late at this stage so the barman decides to clean and lock up.

The barman is in the process of mopping the floor when the squirrel stumbles back in, still pissed as a fart. The barman calls loudly "No more drink, we're closed!"

"No" the squirrel says, shaking his head "I can't find my keys....I'm locked out of my tree!"

Dan133269 wrote: »

What the hell does that mean?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myxomatosis