The try harder if ye want a second joke thread thread.

beautiful looking woman walking past a pet shop, see's a sign in the window

'PUSSY LICKING MICE FOR SALE'

intrigued she goes in and chats to the store owner, 'im enquiring about the mice' she says discreetly,

right o says the store owner, there 100 euro,and have a money back gurantee,

'ok' says the woman, ill take one, store owner selects a nice mouse for her,places it in a little box with holes in it for air.

'there is a string around the mouses tail' says the store owner, 'hold the string when you want it to perform,and place it on your privates,do not let go of the string'
she replies 'is that it?'

'yes' he says, 'ring me if you have any problems,money back gurantee remember'.


so the lady leaves very happy,goes home and has a shower and a shave of her privates in anticipation.
once showerd and shaved she lay's on the bed and removes the mouse from the box,carefully holding the string as instructed.
she places the mouse around her crotch and eagerly awaits the action to begin........

the mouse does nothing, it just tries to run away and hide, luckily she is holding the string so it cannot escape,she tries again,placing the mouse,this time more directly at her vagina,almost pressing the little creature into her,

still the mouse does nothing,and again attempts to escape,the woman by now frustrated and irate puts the mouse back in the box and rings the store right away to complain to the owner.

the store owner says he cannot understand why the mouse wont perform and offers to come over and see why for himself,promising a full refund if the lady does not get her pussy licked.
the woman agrees and waits for the store owner to arrive.

upon arrival the store owner asks the woman what procedure she followed and did she hold the string as instructed, she replied that she did and explained exactly what happend.

the store owner says 'ok,lets try this again,please show me what happend'

the lady agrees so she can get her refund and strips off,lays on her bed,removes the mouse from its box and places it on her crotch,still no reaction from the mouse other than trying to escape at which point the store owner says 'hang on one second ill sort this out' he goes over to the bed and picks up the mouse from the womans crotch ,and dangling it in front of her crotch he says to the mouse ..






'ok,pay attention,this is the last time im going to show you how its done'

What did the Atheist say to god?

How did the fook did you get here.

God replied, I sort of parachuted in on my sons back I wasnt quite sure if he was me or I was him and ever since is all been a bit confusing.

Yeah im sort of the same so said the Atheist, if it wanst for you I wouldnt probably be here anyways.

Whats the heaviest bird in the world ?

A crane :pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac: