Depression

Wolfe Tone · 29-12-2010 02:10AM

opinion guy wrote: »

Ok well see here is something then isn't it ? This stuff you might think is ok day by day but this kind of stuff can really affect our mood in itself. You know in my own case alot of what was affecting my mood was due to stuff that happened between me and my folks when I was quite young - say 8 or 9. I didn't have the developed emotions to deal with things so my subconsious mind did something to protect me. It disassociated my feelings about the whole thing from the events. So the emotions became free floating "depression" apparently not connected to any event, and the events themselves I could think about without emotion. It took along time for me to realise this - but when I did it made a huge difference.

I highly doubt its that, I will bear it in mind though.

The second point is this - your mothers expectations are just that - HER expectations. But if you feel you need councilling then you need to do it for youself. You don't need to tell your mum about it even. But you need to understand, and please do not take offence - but your mum's attitude to this is her deficiency, not yours. There is nothing wrong with you for having these feelings.

I dont know if I need councilling or not tbh

Hmmm so diversify. Develop a new interest. Take up a new hobby/sport/pastime. Learn a language, take yoga, whatever. Just avoid anything drink associated. Point is find an hour or two a week where you can mix with different people than you are used to. You may find someone you can open up to. If you keep doing the same things you will only meet the same type of people over and over again. And hell if not at least you will learn something new/fun/different.

TBH I dont think it would be fair to dump all of this onto a friend, it could "weird them out" Or put them in a position where they would worry for me, and I really wouldn't want that.

And think again about the councillor. You don't have to tell your mum. Or you can tell her another time. Mind yourself - not your mum's or dad's expectations!

I'll think about it, but I honestly don't know what I would say, or what it would be like. I imagine it would be like when I go to the doctor feeling sick and I would stupidly pretend that it actually isn't that bad(Dont ask for the reason, I don't know!)

Maybe someone could say what going to a Councillor is like?

Have to say I've surprised myself by saying this much.

29-12-2010 02:10AM

pheasant tail wrote: »

My GP told me that depression,,if not treated will still go totally away in time,,is this true????
Can i also ask has anyone ever suffered depression due to roaccutane and if so how did it end up???

It should be important to say that boards is not the place to discuss medication and/or medical advice. Any queries should be taken to your GP first and foremost.

I don't know if that is true about depression going away, as many people have said how they've suffered with it for many years while others have said theirs is gone. I guess it's different for different people.

stupidusername · 29-12-2010 02:11AM

I just want to address the issue there that some people have brought up about if it's genetic / chemical imbalance etc. None of this is proven. I mean no one knows for sure if one person will take to meds better than another person, and there's no guarantee that meds will help. I mean my mother was always in moods while I was growing up, and I know she was on St Johns Wort for a while, and the three of us now at separate points have been on anti depressants, but I would be more putting this down to how my mother being depressed affected our growing up, rather than saying it's genetic.

opinion guy · 29-12-2010 02:12AM

Star Bingo wrote: »

well.. readin back n maybe my goth self just sees all the symptoms of depression as qualities in a person and i have learnt to embrace em, in time. aside from one or two extremes.. agitated, aching and what not - apologies for the percieved harsh view btw; just don't trust the authorites on such matters, bad experience n i see some of you got upset at my words, n thanked for it - but still believe only you can rectify it only yourself.

Star Bingo I think that part of the problem here is that you are not coming across clearly in your writing so its difficult to know how to respond to you! Maybe slow yourself down a little bit, try not to say too many things at once and flesh things out a bit for us. Read over it before posting, and we might be able to interact with you a little more:)

Stained Class · 29-12-2010 02:15AM

Sardonicat wrote: »

Whoa! While I can appreciate and empathise (my own mother was a very messed up woman, never diagnosed but am quite certain it was more complex then depression and the damage she did to us is still being felt) that's a hell of a statement to make. Mental Health Issues can mean anything from mild depression (which really has no impact on anyone other than the sufferer) to someone with a serious personality disorder. To tar everyone with the same brush is exactly what you are doing here. People with a whole range of mental illnesses can and do make perfectly good spouses and parents.

I agree with you, but I'm caught between a rock & a hard place on this one.

I'm somebody whose seen the worst of MI through no fault of my own & been profoundly affected by it.

Do you think I'd like one of my kids to see the kind of childhood I had?

Nobody really thinks of the people whose lives have been affected by living with people with MI issues in my experiance.

Sardonicat · 29-12-2010 02:15AM

Limerick Dude wrote: »

First of all I would just like to thank the OP for setting up this thread and it's great to see the amount of positive replies to this thread and for people taking this seriously, especially in After Hours.

Well I'm a 21 year old male, currently in my final year of college.

I think I've always known I've had some level of depression throughout my life, I can't remember anytime when I was happy with life or happy being me. I've always had a serious lack of confidence throughout my life and it's something I still have. I was bullied a lot at primary and secondary school, my mother past away when i was 9 years old and I found out when I was a teenager that I'm actually adopted, my biological mother has sent me birthday cards throughout a lot of my life. I say some of these factors have had an affect on me.

I'm currently receiving counselling in my University. I have had 2 sessions so far, and my counseller says that the most important thing right now is to try and get myself through the final year of college. So a lot of my "therapy" seems to be little things like getting more exercise, better diet and doing a lot of cognitive therapy, so writing out thought records and learning how it is negative thoughts which cause negative feelings and to try and identify the distortion which occurs.

What really put me over the edge to receive counselling was my recent break up with my girlfriend. I'm still nowhere near over her, and the crippling sense of lonliness, isolation and hopelessness which I have been experiencing have been indescribable. I have had thoughts of suicide, but I honestly don't think I could ever carry out such an attempt or even begin to plan something, I love my Dad too much to do that to him and he has had a tough enough life as it is.

My counseller reckons i suffer from both depression and anxiety. I was a bit dissapointed when she told me that we wont focus as much on my adoption, death of my mother etc but rather on the cognitive therapy and getting myself through my final semester. Should I mention my scepticism to her?

Can someone also tell me how they found cognitive therapy? You know such as writing out journal entries, thought records and all that sort of stuff. I sort of feel it's not going to have a great effect on me and I have only found it to be slightly beneficial to me so far.

Again, well done to the OP, this is a great thread and hopefully it could even be stickied.

LD

From a purely pragmatic pov, I think your counsellor is right just to get you through your final year (best of luck with that). You are dealing with some very heavy emotions on top of the pressure of this academic year. Hopefully, the CBT will give you the stratagies you need to deal with these. When you are over the hump, and less vulnerable emotionally you can explore with the other issues from a secure emotional place.

Sardonicat · 29-12-2010 02:21AM

Stained Class wrote: »

I agree with you, but I'm caught between a rock & a hard place on this one.

I'm somebody whose seen the worst of MI through no fault of my own & been profoundly affected by it.

Do you think I'd like one of my kids to see the kind of childhood I had?

Nobody really thinks of the people whose lives have been affected by living with people with MI issues in my experiance.

I hear that. but I too had a devestated childhood due to a parent with an MI. now I have an MI, most likely as a result (or at least, I've had one, intermitantly, who knows if it'll rear it's ugly head again). So I fall into both camps. I know I'm nothing like her. We aren't all out of control and beyond redemption.

Mountainsandh · 29-12-2010 02:22AM

Deleted User wrote: »

Then this thread has worked

I genuinely hope others have also been made more aware, especially about their own possible depression and that they will go and get help.

It's a great thread, I've read it all and thanked on the sly... I've been trying to put into words my own story but I've written about 5 differents posts now and I give up

:). Just not ready yet i suppose.
Well done to all those who opened up, it will definitely help some.
Go to your GPs and seek help people, if you are feeling bad, and if your GP's reaction is not the one you wanted just find another one, it's worth it.
And what comes up on your medical file won't be important if you're in a really bad place a year from now, so just do it regardless.

WalterMitty · 29-12-2010 02:24AM

Havent read the thread but seems like a lot of depressed or previously depressed people in After Hours. Its like a mental health social club or something. Internet forums may actually be good for people who cant face socialising face to face.

29-12-2010 02:26AM

WalterMitty wrote: »

Havent read the thread but seems like a lot of depressed or previously depressed people in After Hours. Its like a mental health social club or something. Internet forums may actually be good for people who cant face socialising face to face.

There's a lot of depressed people in Ireland, more so than you can ever imagine. Posting here give people the anonymity they would not have anywhere else.

Dionysus · 29-12-2010 02:27AM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Theres a lot of tension between me and my Dad, we would have a very old fashioned relationship, Im close with my mother, although if I told her, or if I was prescribed something, or went to counselling she would be devastated and blame herself, and treat me completely differently, and I don't want that. Ive often heard her say things like "he must have had a terrible time at home", or "must have had a tragic upbringing" when she hears of people topping themselves. That makes her sound bad, but she is great really. Im sure many people would be just like her.

No, Im not really close to anyone else. I mean I have friends and all, but feelings and such aren't exactly what we would talk about. I wouldnt imagine many groups of 19 year olds would. Truth be told I would be terrified of breaking down in front of them or anyone even, and humiliating myself.

I wouldn't dream of saying anything to either of my parents. They can't really do anything and more importantly the relief I'd get in sharing something with them would be eclipsed by the discomfort I'd get from worrying them - 'them' in reality being my mother as my Dad talks too much. However, if you're in college you'll have access to student health services and as part of that you'll be able to receive free counselling. This was my least 'vulnerable' option. The guy I went to had a PhD in psychology and was a great listener, which was primarily what I wanted. This, for instance, is the counselling that's available, free of charge, to students in UCD; this is DCU's services; and TCD's one-to-one counselling service. Those sites have loads of information, and the service is confidential. But the sooner you make yourself known the better as there's a strong demand for the one-to-one counselling.

Stained Class · 29-12-2010 02:31AM

Sardonicat wrote: »

I hear that. but I too had a devestated childhood due to a parent with an MI. now I have an MI, most likely as a result (or at least, I've had one, intermitantly, who knows if it'll rear it's ugly head again). So I fall into both camps. I know I'm nothing like her. We aren't all out of control and beyond redemption.

I hear ya!

Still, as someone who has seen 'discrimination' on this issue first hand, it's hard to see a way out on this one.

I'm worse than most now on that score sadly.:(

t0mm13b · 29-12-2010 02:31AM

Deleted User wrote: »

There's a lot of depressed people in Ireland, more so than you can ever imagine. Posting here give people the anonymity they would not have anywhere else.

How anonymous is anonymous? even with my user id.... :rolleyes:

But yes it is true... let's all hope that this thread gets stickied for others to read and actually I'll be honest here....

The very same family member and I had a discussion a while ago, about the depression that is, and that member does not believe there is a stigma associated with it and is in denial of it when I pointed out that there are websites, aware, and flatly refuse to believe in it and thinks it's an excuse.... c'mon... if I pointed out this thread all hell will break loose.....that member is the most ignorant and tactless fcuker.....

arybvtcw0eolkf · 29-12-2010 02:34AM

MUSSOLINI, or another teenager's here.

I'm the parent of two teens, a 15yr old daughter and a 19 yr son old in college.

If you guys would like to get the perspective in all this from a parent of teen's of similar age to yourselves (in private) I'd be more than willing to chat via a PM.

Really, we're not as old an unapproachable as some teens think we are!.

Princess Peach · 29-12-2010 02:34AM

I met up with a friend tonight and I was telling her about my latest public crying episode the other night. Not sure why I told her, maybe cause she might hear about it anyway. But she listened and nodded politely, didn't really offer much else and kinda changed the subject. Not really sure what I was expecting of her, but I felt like I need to explain why I wasn't in great form tonight. Don't think she really knows how to deal with me when I'm a bit down, cause its happened a few times with her. I honestly don't expect much from her, but I just wanted her to know for some reason!

stupidusername · 29-12-2010 02:38AM

Princess Peach wrote: »

I met up with a friend tonight and I was telling her about my latest public crying episode the other night. Not sure why I told her, maybe cause she might hear about it anyway. But she listened and nodded politely, didn't really offer much else and kinda changed the subject. Not really sure what I was expecting of her, but I felt like I need to explain why I wasn't in great form tonight. Don't think she really knows how to deal with me when I'm a bit down, cause its happened a few times with her. I honestly don't expect much from her, but I just wanted her to know for some reason!

I know exactly what you mean. I hate that. I mean the person may not be able to do anything about it but knowing they're just waiting for the right time to move on to something else is pissy. I can appreciate that some people don't know what to say, but say that at least instead of right out ignoring it.

t0mm13b · 29-12-2010 02:39AM

Princess Peach wrote: »

I met up with a friend tonight and I was telling her about my latest public crying episode the other night. Not sure why I told her, maybe cause she might hear about it anyway. But she listened and nodded politely, didn't really offer much else and kinda changed the subject. Not really sure what I was expecting of her, but I felt like I need to explain why I wasn't in great form tonight. Don't think she really knows how to deal with me when I'm a bit down, cause its happened a few times with her. I honestly don't expect much from her, but I just wanted her to know for some reason!

That highlight is saying a lot.... not a real friend (I hope I am wrong) but a real friend would be a lot more supportive than that.... I am not setting out to hurt your feelings about your friend, but....

Sardonicat · 29-12-2010 02:39AM

Ahers, I can't believe how long I've been transfixed by this thread!
Thanks so much OP! Well done everyone for behaving. Thanks everyone for your honesty and sharing and listening!(This is sounding like an oscar acceptance speech:o). I can read/post no more. My spelling's gone down the loo and I need to sleep.

mussolini, for someone who finds it hard to open up you did very well here. Anyone in the grips of it, no doubt I'll be catching you in "longterm". Keep plugging on folks.

Sardo

Star Bingo · 29-12-2010 02:40AM

Sardonicat wrote: »

Actually, Star, your opinion is considered quite a legitimate one in some cirlcles. There may have been issues with how you phrased your posts, though. Bare in mind that while most would agree (myself included) that the only person who can rectify the situation is yourself some people need a little support getting to that point from various sources.I'm sorry your experiences with the "authorities" where so negative, it's not surprising your opinion of them is what it is.

alright ;-

opinion guy wrote: »

Star Bingo I think that part of the problem here is that you are not coming across clearly in your writing so its difficult to know how to respond to you! Maybe slow yourself down a little bit, try not to say too many things at once and flesh things out a bit for us.

ok.

and not try to force one's personal solution on others; might not fit the profile

i will say use it to bolster yourselves, in the long run.. as opposed to a short term weakness ending rather inappropriately

because such feelings can be remoulded just don't be so desperate to ditch something percieved as dirty that has attached itself. but as a vital experience to one's development of character i certainly don't see it as taboo, but rather a virtue.

but fonecrusher said about the booze, now that does make me officially depressed, like i've not bn in years. without need for any sort of description, it just does. its important to keep my head together n that wrecks it altogether so no 'drowning sorrows' here :pac: at least not at home, alone.. and not often.

Princess Peach · 29-12-2010 02:40AM

Ok in fairness, she isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, I really need to stop picking her to talk to! Maybe thats the reason why, cause I know she won't really talk about it? Baby steps for me :P

Wolfe Tone · 29-12-2010 02:41AM

Lilly Shaggy Superhuman wrote: »

MUSSOLINI, or another teenager's here.

I'm the parent of two teens, a 15yr old daughter and a 19 yr son old in college.

If you guys would like to get the perspective in all this from a parent of teen's of similar age to yourselves (in private) I'd be more than willing to chat via a PM.

Really, we're not as old an unapproachable as some teens think we are!.

Cheers mate, I really appreciate it and will keep that in mind.

I have to say I have been taken aback by the kindness and understanding on display from posters here, complete strangers. The thumbs up button really doesn't do it justice. Thanks.

Neyite · 29-12-2010 02:43AM

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

Theres a lot of tension between me and my Dad, we would have a very old fashioned relationship, Im close with my mother, although if I told her, or if I was prescribed something, or went to counselling she would be devastated and blame herself, and treat me completely differently, and I don't want that. Ive often heard her say things like "he must have had a terrible time at home", or "must have had a tragic upbringing" when she hears of people topping themselves. That makes her sound bad, but she is great really. Im sure many people would be just like her.

But its way different when its on your own doorstep. I come from a family that would have had strictly catholic old fashioned values, and the first time i was diagnosed i told my very old fashioned dad over a quiet pint. Honestly, I expected the 'cop yourself on' spiel from him, and I am glad to say that I utterly misjudged him. He recognised that this is a medical condition that required treatment, and He was in his late seventies at the time.

My mother, well she got upset - and look, Mussolini, if you come home with a cold, your mammy will get concerned - its a pre-requisite for mammying

. My mother would be a lot like yours, yet she did surprise me.

I was diagnosed twice - Both times was during extreme emotional upheaval in my life - first time I took anti depressants, second time I postponed taking meds until I had 6 weeks of counselling - and found that was helping so i never took the meds after all.

The main concerns a parent will have are (based on my own humble experience):
a) are you going to do something stupid ?- (as in suicide)
b) how do we fix this?

once i reassured my folks that I was not suicidal, that I was taking my meds responsibly, and was focused on fixing me, and getting me better they relaxed somewhat and focused on helping. The way I saw it was, my emotions were a symptom of a chemical imbalance and the meds corrected that balance. Counselling allieviated the symptoms of the condition.

I'm not saying that you will have the same outcome if you tell your folks, but I just wanted to share that in my case, I didnt give them enough credit.

Now, I will say, that my mother would be more wary if i seem down (my father has since died) so in that respect, I would be different from my siblings in her eyes, but some years on, she is immensly proud of me addressing my depression.

The people who i thought would stand by me, my good friends, just didnt get it - they likened it to missing out on a bargain shopping :rolleyes:, and it was my own age group that were far more judgemental on the subject of depression, yet we were seeing funerals of young people who killed themselves!

I just didnt get how they didnt get it.

t0mm13b · 29-12-2010 02:43AM

Princess Peach wrote: »

Ok in fairness, she isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, I really need to stop picking her to talk to! Maybe thats the reason why, cause I know she won't really talk about it? Baby steps for me :P

Ahhh ok..... ok... yes baby steps at a time... one step at a time... :cool:

kumate_champ07 · 29-12-2010 02:44AM

I wonder how many people who choose I am currently suffering from depression and receiving help are receiving medication as 'help' and no real treatment/support

Darlughda · 29-12-2010 02:44AM

What! Mussolini is only a kiddie and Maikokomi is a middle aged adult?!

Jayzus, ya never know with boards. I was sure Mussolini was a disgruntled 50yr old who was forbidden his pipe by the grandkids and resorting to boards, whereas Maikokomi was a fitness freak army cadet!

stupidusername · 29-12-2010 02:46AM

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

I wonder how many people who choose I am currently suffering from depression and receiving help are receiving medication as 'help' and no real treatment/support

That's what I picked, and I'm only on meds, not counselling.

Wolfe Tone · 29-12-2010 02:48AM

Darlughda wrote: »

What! Mussolini is only a kiddie and Maikokomi is a middle aged adult?!

Jayzus, ya never know with boards. I was sure Mussolini was a disgruntled 50yr old who was forbidden his pipe by the grandkids and resorting to boards, whereas Maikokomi was a fitness freak army cadet!

Ha, most boardsies are surprised when they hear Im 19, yer not the only one!

WesternNight · 29-12-2010 02:48AM

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

I wonder how many people who choose I am currently suffering from depression and receiving help are receiving medication as 'help' and no real treatment/support

While it's fair enough to encourage more help and support than purely medications, it's not entirely fair to suggest that medications aren't any help at all. They are, for many people, although it can take a while to find one that works for you.

Sardonicat · 29-12-2010 02:48AM

Star Bingo wrote: »

alright ;-

ok.

i will say use it to bolster yourselves, in the long run.. as opposed to a short term weakness ending rather inappropriately because such feelings can be remoulded just don't be so desperate to ditch something percieved as dirty that has attached itself. but as a vital experience to one's development of character i certainly don't see it as taboo, but rather a virtue.

.

Not everyone can get that Star Bingo, or is in a clear enough frame of mind to be able to take it on board safely. But that is my take on it ( I'm careful who I share it with though). You should read Kierkegaard, if you haven't already.You'd love him.

And now I'm really going, 'cos y'all now know I'm a sad ole existentialist.:cool:

Dionysus · 29-12-2010 02:50AM

t0mm13b wrote: »

That highlight is saying a lot.... not a real friend (I hope I am wrong) but a real friend would be a lot more supportive than that.... I am not setting out to hurt your feelings about your friend, but....

I wouldn't actually agree with that. I'm very private and wouldn't share stuff with people I know because it would make me feel more vulnerable. By the same thinking, I wouldn't feel comfortable listening to somebody precisely because, in my mind, I would feel vulnerable and uncomfortable if I opened up like they were doing to me. I would be protecting their self-esteem, their pride by changing the subject. If, however, they returned to the subject I'd let them talk for hours and I'd be delighted to help. But my initial reticence would have everything to do with my own inhibitions and nothing to do with not wanting to help them. It's wrong, of course, and in future I'd try to be more empathetic and open.

Depression

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