Depression

Odysseus · 28-12-2010 8:22pm

Can I ask those who have not sought help, what has stopped you?

Dionysus · 28-12-2010 8:26pm

Odysseus wrote: »

Can I ask those who have not sought help, what has stopped you?

How about being informed by your GP that before a psychologist can see you, a psychiatrist has to assess you and that this meeting, and treatment, will have to be disclosed to future employers and health insurance companies?

Wolfe Tone · 28-12-2010 8:26pm

Odysseus wrote: »

Can I ask those who have not sought help, what has stopped you?

Well I answered that earlier.

Sardonicat · 28-12-2010 8:27pm

Yeah, it's a crime to be unhappy, even after an unhappy life event like bereavement. It's as though we allot an accepted timeframe during which it's reasonable to openly display your sadness then after that you must shut up and get on with it.

A few months ago on a national new station which I won't name, one of the shows was sponsored by some kind of business solution life coachy think tank thingy (excuse my description, but I've no idea what these chancers actually call themselves) and on the hour after the news and ad break a little "life tip" was played before the show resumed. On one occasion the tip was along the lines of "when you’re feeling down, don't burden others with your petty worries, no-one wants to be around a negative person. Always act happy, even when you are not. Successful people do this." Now this lovely nugget of wisdom was played immediately after an Aware (I think, could have been lean on me) promo urging people to not bottle their feelings up and to open up to someone if things were getting on top of them. But the message is clear, if you’re sad then you are a loser, and if you’re a loser it's your own fault.

The linking of happiness and material wealth is reflected by the popularity of things like "The Secret”. I wonder do people feel threatened by someone who acknowledges that they have/had depression becuase it's too close to the bone for them?

t0mm13b · 28-12-2010 8:29pm

Dionysus wrote: »

How about being informed by your GP that before a psychologist can see you, a psychiatrist has to assess you and that this meeting, and treatment, will have to be disclosed to future employers and health insurance companies?

That's bringing it back to the square one of the root of the stigma and why it is a taboo thing... health insurance companies/employers will check that out... and say "you're not suitable" or that "you've been mentally 'unstable' in your past"....

Hence a lot of the posting on this thread... you've answered the question to the root cause...

Let me put one back on you -

Do they (employers,health insurance companies) have a need to know this information?

Wolfe Tone · 28-12-2010 8:31pm

Dionysus wrote: »

How about being informed by your GP that before a psychologist can see you, a psychiatrist has to assess you and that this meeting, and treatment, will have to be disclosed to future employers and health insurance companies?

What really?

Dionysus · 28-12-2010 8:36pm

t0mm13b wrote: »

Let me put one back on you -

Do they (employers,health insurance companies) have a need to know this information?

Absolutely not.

opinion guy · 28-12-2010 8:36pm

Whispered wrote: »

Years later (after we had broken up) he rang me again and asked me to get back with him. I said no, that night he shot himself.

Jesus - did he die ? I've heard it threatened many a time but not gone thru with (althou now that I think about it one friend who topped himself was suppossedly over a girl thou I don't know the details). Horrible guilt trip to lay on someone - I'm not surprised it affected you:(

Recently I had a medical condition which didn't go with months of antibiotics, I had also changed my pill. Both of these can have an effect on your body. I was at home all the time due to job loss and money was a worry. I went to the doctor to get another antibiotic and got upset in the surgery. I am not depressed, but everything happening to me was taking it's toll both physically and emotionally. She prescribed antidepressants for me! Absolutely not necessary. Surely any doctor should have a look at their charts and see how changes in medication can be the cause of feeling low, even the fact I insisted I didn't need them and that I was only feeling bad the last few weeks didn't sway her. Apparently I was in denial. :rolleyes:

Actually I think you raise an important point. There are a myriad of medical reasons that can cause depresssion from the pill, to thyroid dysfunction, to all sorts. So if you think you are seriously depressed it is important to see your GP.

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

I was thinking today about when it is simply acceptable for men to even just cry the only situation I could think of was if someone died.
Whereas society is much more acceptable of women displaying emotion, women would get a comforting arm or the like, men would get a "wtf is with him?"

Ok this is another cliche that bugs me thou. You know the 'men get depressed cause they bottle it up, women have a cray and let it out' ****. If only it were so simple as to cry. Plenty of women I've know who have cathartic cries everytime they break a nail and yet remain plunged into the depths of depression. If you ask me alot of this girls having a cry stuff is simply filling perceived gender roles. Frankly I think alot of it is of itself unhealthy. It can form dysfunctional cycle all of itself. I don't really see any reason to cry as an adult more than a handful of times in a year say.

Whispered · 28-12-2010 8:40pm

Odysseus wrote: »

Can I ask those who have not sought help, what has stopped you?

In my previous post I said how I was prescribed anti-depressants when I am 100% sure I didn't need them. When we took out health insurance, I didn't think to mention this, we also gave them permission to access our doctors files, they contacted me to say that I had not disclosed the fact I have "a history of depression".

If I did ever need help, I'd be reluctant to seek it now unless really really necessary.

Dionysus · 28-12-2010 8:40pm

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

What really?

Bizarrely, yes is the answer. The wisdom of our legislators seems to have more concern for the profits of employers than the well-being of citizenry.

Wolfe Tone · 28-12-2010 8:41pm

Dionysus wrote: »

Bizarrely, yes is the answer. The wisdom of our legislators seems to have more concern for the profits of employers than the well-being of citizenry.

That would really really discourage me from going to my GP now

opinion guy · 28-12-2010 8:42pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

The linking of happiness and material wealth is reflected by the popularity of things like "The Secret”. I wonder do people feel threatened by someone who acknowledges that they have/had depression becuase it's too close to the bone for them?

Jesus don't even get me started on that piece of sh1te!!! F**king trash properly melted the brain of someone I care about. Grrrr

t0mm13b wrote: »

T
Do they (employers,health insurance companies) have a need to know this information?

No. Also - do they need to know if you ever had a HIV test ?
No but they ask and it does affect your premium. Fact is the insurance industry is immoral.

Dionysus · 28-12-2010 8:46pm

MUSSOLINI wrote: »

That would really really discourage me from going to my GP now

Go to your GP alright. She/He will talk to you, and probably very compassionately, but make it clear to him that you don't want it going on your record. He/She will respect that. Say it the minute you walk in the door. My gp informed me of the legal implications and we agreed that we would put going down the path on the long finger and see if things improve. I was taken aback when he told me about those legal implications, but glad I spoke with him.

This demand that private health information should be passed to private companies really seems like bad law from our legislators.

Whispered · 28-12-2010 8:50pm

opinion guy wrote: »

Jesus - did he die ? I've heard it threatened many a time but not gone thru with (althou now that I think about it one friend who topped himself was suppossedly over a girl thou I don't know the details). Horrible guilt trip to lay on someone - I'm not surprised it affected you:(

He did unfortunately, it wasn't over me though, I've come to the conclusion that he could feel himself dropping back to how he was and decided he needed me to get him through it again. It wasn't anything to do with him loving me or anything like it, I was just an old faithful that helped him before through the same thing. But for a long time I told myself I should have told someone, I shouldn't have left him, I should have gotten back with him. As far as I was concerned he was dead due to me. So I would always always recommend seeking help from somone who can give it. I regret every single day not speaking to his family, even at the risk of loosing our friendship. But at the time, when someone makes you feel responsible for their life you do what you think is right.

Every milestone in my life I feel like he should be experiencing similar.

Sardonicat · 28-12-2010 8:56pm

opinion guy wrote: »

Jesus don't even get me started on that piece of sh1te!!! F**king trash properly melted the brain of someone I care about. Grrrr.

Oh god, that must be like loosing someone to a cult. No-one close to me has fallen for it, thankfully, and I tend to avoid like the plague it's proponents as there is just no reasoning with them, which is alarming. I just can't fathom how otherwise, intelligent, reasonable people fall for it. Is it designed to appeal to the vulnerable, do you think?

Novella · 28-12-2010 9:07pm

I've actually posted quite a lot on boards about depression and my experience with it, and part of the reason I sought help was down to some amazing friends I made on this site. However, I also realised pretty quickly that there are still many people who haven't the slightest clue what they are talking about, who will make petty digs etc., and that got me down for a while... but I just wanted to say, as I've noticed some of those silly little remarks in this thread, they don't matter. There are just always gonna be people who don't "get it", I suppose, and that's fine.

Yeah, I've been depressed. I've been medicated, hospitalised. I've seen councellors. I've been ashamed to say I was down 'cause I know I haven't had it all that bad. I hate opening up to people. I can't talk about things that upset me. I have spent so much time wondering, "Is there something actually wrong with me, or am I just complete waster?". Depression isn't like having a bad day. It is impossible. I couldn't bring myself to get up at times, to go anywhere, to answer the phone even. I just did not care enough about anything.

I dunno if I'd say that I'm better, cured. Some days are still shit. I think the fact that I can pull myself out of it is good though. I have to, because I could never go back to what it was like before.

opinion guy · 28-12-2010 9:14pm

Whispered wrote: »

He did unfortunately, it wasn't over me though, I've come to the conclusion that he could feel himself dropping back to how he was and decided he needed me to get him through it again. It wasn't anything to do with him loving me or anything like it, I was just an old faithful that helped him before through the same thing. But for a long time I told myself I should have told someone, I shouldn't have left him, I should have gotten back with him. As far as I was concerned he was dead due to me. So I would always always recommend seeking help from somone who can give it. I regret every single day not speaking to his family, even at the risk of loosing our friendship. But at the time, when someone makes you feel responsible for their life you do what you think is right.

Every milestone in my life I feel like he should be experiencing similar.

I see. I kinda hoped you might open up a little bit about it. I've known two people who shot themselves - one closer than the other. One was about 18 years ago, the other about 15 years ago. Let me tell you something I've learned. Everything you've just described feeling, EVERYTHING - is a normal thing to feel when someone has killed themselves. In one case, the person had said some dark stuff to me about 6 months prior to the deed. I was young and didn't know what to think of it - but after the person suicided I blamed myself for not 'spotting the signs'. But time has moved on. In addition I had the unique perspective of having had suicidal thoughts myself prior to this. And later ran into further dark times. The combined experiences led me to a very clear realisation -> It was not in any way my fault, or anyone elses for that matter. I came to realise that he was looking for an escape and took a cold logical decision to exit. I further came to realise that this was based on a deep logical error - that the pain is indefinite and inescapable. It isn't - all pain eventually dissipates. I then realised that whatever was going on in his head it was beyond my ability to rewire the logical errors involved. In your case it would seem there was a further logical error involved - that the guy needed you to get past things, when in fact he didn't ( and - you KNOW that don't you?) He made a false association in his mind between you and feeling better. When the truth is ultimately we all save ourselves in the end. Sometimes people help us by being a support - but thats all they are - a support. We all only do are best afterall. And you did your best at that time.

Dudess · 28-12-2010 9:17pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Oh god, that must be like loosing someone to a cult. No-one close to me has fallen for it, thankfully, and I tend to avoid like the plague it's proponents as there is just no reasoning with them, which is alarming. I just can't fathom how otherwise, intelligent, reasonable people fall for it. Is it designed to appeal to the vulnerable, do you think?

It seems to help some people though, and if it does, that's a good thing. A friend of mine who has been to hell and back swears by some of the advice in it. What I know of it is: it's merely positive thinking dressed up as something mystical. Positive thinking is beneficial to those who are merely going through a bad time, or maybe to those who have very mild depression, but yeah it's useless to those who are depressed to the point of suicide as they literally can't think positively...

opinion guy · 28-12-2010 9:21pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Oh god, that must be like loosing someone to a cult. No-one close to me has fallen for it, thankfully, and I tend to avoid like the plague it's proponents as there is just no reasoning with them, which is alarming. I just can't fathom how otherwise, intelligent, reasonable people fall for it. Is it designed to appeal to the vulnerable, do you think?

She is very intelligent. But also lucky. And sometimes intelligent and being logical are not synonymous. Unfortunately she falsely attributed her luck to having read the book. See you can write a book like that safe in the knowledge that a certain percentage of people who read it will happen to have some good fortune about the same time and attribute it to the book.
Makes me angry. But there is nothing I can do. As with most delusions/logical errors, she has to see through it for herself

paul maynooth · 28-12-2010 9:30pm

I've never suffered from depression but i'm going through a crap time now cause my marriage is breaking up - feel low which is not like me. i'm going to a psychotherapist counseller and she is a help. I know i'll get through it but it's tough. I will lose a lot.

Sardonicat · 28-12-2010 9:35pm

opinion guy wrote: »

She is very intelligent. But also lucky. And sometimes intelligent and being logical are not synonymous. Unfortunately she falsely attributed her luck to having read the book. See you can write a book like that safe in the knowledge that a certain percentage of people who read it will happen to have some good fortune about the same time and attribute it to the book.
Makes me angry. But there is nothing I can do. As with most delusions/logical errors, she has to see through it for herself

Bizarrely, a number of people I know who swear by it are philosophy graduates (as I am). I cannot for the life of me see how they were able to get past page one without collapsing into laughter. My ability to think logically and my rational capacity are the things that philosophy taught me to prize above all else and I simply don't understand how people who have spent a chunk of their lives learning how to optimise both can so uncritically accept this nonsense.

Star Bingo · 28-12-2010 9:40pm

depression is just a figment of your imagination, or rather a misinterpretation. or misdiagnosis in one amateur's case i had one of the top 5 shrinks literally on his knees apologizing for keeping me overnight / strapping me down and shooting me up with thorezine or some other rank **** after i refused to start takin the tablets > tried to sneak out.. i sued em. can't permit ourselves to feel that pity thing there i did once let slip into what is my usual disciplined self but don't ever feel yer missing out on anything or conversely that you have to meet demands.. may sometimes feel you are a soldier of misfortune but thats when you should pull up your bootstraps take a cold shower n get back on the track, actually what depressed me more was the supposed need to meet social obligations with folk i didn't really care for. think i just appeared depressed around em but looking back, they did sort of make me depressed..

we have to be strong. no sympathy; accept our destiny and learn to live with ourselves.. n don't dare tell em we're depressed, even if we think we are.

Dionysus · 28-12-2010 9:46pm

Star Bingo wrote: »

depression is just a figment of your imagination

Sweet Jesus. :rolleyes:

Star Bingo · 28-12-2010 9:51pm

fine. accept it. wallow in it. if i had it your way; i'd be officially depressed 24/7. morose, maybe. melancholy.. but no way hose am i admitting myself. i'll never admit to depression again; that a prosecutable offense.

Oranage2 · 28-12-2010 9:55pm

Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling "bummed-out"?

Nolanger · 28-12-2010 9:56pm

As for Post-Xmas depression?

Mr. Manager · 28-12-2010 9:59pm

Oranage2 wrote: »

Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling "bummed-out"?

Yea that's it. People who are depressed are just a little "bummed out"

:rolleyes:

Dudess · 28-12-2010 10:00pm

^^^
Feed it not...

Star Bingo wrote: »

fine. accept it. wallow in it. if i had it your way; i'd be officially depressed 24/7. morose, maybe. melancholy.. but no way hose am i admitting myself. i'll never admit to depression again; that a prosecutable offense.

Conceding it's not "a figment of your imagination" is hardly wallowing in it. And not accepting/admitting it seems a pretty unhealthy way of dealing with it, but if you think that worked for you, fine - doesn't mean others are wrong for not doing the same though.

Wolfe Tone · 28-12-2010 10:01pm

I see the dicks have arrived.

bluecatmorgana · 28-12-2010 10:03pm

Deleted User wrote: »

For those who have voted that they feel better now, and if they don't mind revealing themselves, what was the turning point?

I was depressed for 9 years and my psychiatrist decided to put me on an antipsychotic drug in a low dossage as well as the antidepressants i was already on. This new drug and a job placement that I started in social care work with people with intellectual disabilities really was the turning point for me. Ive also realised that keeping my life as stress free and organised as possible helps keep me sane.

Well done to everyone who has posted their experiences of depression, the more aware and normal it is to talk out loud about depression the less taboo an issue it will be.

Depression

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