Moments you'll never forget

I love the idea of this thread. Makes you believe again in the resilience of humans...

I suppose some of mine would be-

When we were walking behind the hearse that my Mums coffin was in, through my home town. Walking along, just thinking about everything and all of a sudden the woman in the front seat of the car on the opposite side of the road took out a camera and took a photo! of us, the family, walking behind the hearse. I nearly lost it, but my Dad was like "Don't make a show of yourself!". I still can't comprehend what kind of a person needs a photo of a random funeral in the country

My Mums eyes open for the last time before she died. I'll never, ever forget that.

The first time I kissed a girl. I was 21, and all of a sudden it was like "Ooooooh. THAT made sense..." :rolleyes:

The moment by best friend told me she had cervical cancer. It was 3 days after my Mum was diagnosed with stomach cancer and about a week after my girlfriend told me she was quitting her job because she was being bullied and had been on anti-depressants and self-harming for years. Heck of a week, that one.

Meeting my favourite singer, Janis Ian when she played in Dublin a few years ago. that woman's music single-handedly got my through some crazy times, both good and bad. It was amazing to meet this tiny tiny "she's like, 4'8", I'm about 5'10"!!!) woman who had such a big impact on me.

Oh, and meeting my Godson for the very first time. I total cliché, he put his fist around my finger, and I totally fell in love. He's now four and the coolest dude EVER.

kingtut wrote: »

Thanks. Ever since her I have found relationships / trust very difficult. Doubt I'll ever have a fulfilling one now thanks to her :mad:

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news kingtut, but she'll be the winner in this if that's the case.

Don't let the likes of her get one over you....there are girls out there who'll treat you in the way you expect to be treated. They do exist. Don't give up hope

just after reading the whole thread... some great stories in there and some great losses as well... great thread OP...

the biggest moment that rocked my life was New Years Day 2004... I was 17 years old and had been out on New Years Eve to a Saw Doctors gig... wasn't drinking or anything just there for the enjoyment and had a great night with a few friends... ended up not getting home until about 6am... it was my first really late night out so I wasn't use to it... anyway my Dad came in to my room at about midday to wake me up because he wanted me to do some work outside... one of the jobs required me to climb up a loft that was about 13ft up... anyway I was walking around up there and the next thing I remember was waking up in hospital 8 hours later with my whole family looking down at me... apparently I had fallen off the loft and smacked my head of the concrete floor... my brother found me lying there and thought I was dead... after a few days in hospital I was ok... but every time I think of it I get shivers running up my spine... every doctor and nurse that was looking after me was telling me I was lucky to be alive...

A happier time was when I passed my driving test a month after my 17th birthday... the mixture of horror I was feeling on the way back to the test center because I had stalled the car on the hill start and absolute delight when he told me I had passed... great day...

In no particular order:

- Breaking up with my first love and my dad getting almost as upset as I was because he hates to see me sad.

- Opening the letter that told me I was being accepted to study in Oxford.

- Winning the national rowing champs.

- My current boyfriend asking me if he ever told me he loved me (knowing full well he hadn't!) then telling me he did. After a week.

There's more but they are really personal moments and I actually haven't told anyone about how memorable they are, so think I don't really want to post them. Most of them are positive actually. I don't remember an awful lot of bad things in my life.

Great thread idea, OP.

I think I have a lot of unforgettable moments, 'cause I'm a memory hoarder. I try really hard to remember all kinds of things. I like to think that every second matters, that it's all pretty special. So I'd be here forever if I listed everything, but I'll mention a few.

I remember when I found out that my granny had died. December 2001. I was twelve years old. Her and I were always really close. I lived with my grandparents as a child, and I suppose I looked up to her as my mother figure. She was my best friend. I wondered why no one had bothered to tell me that she was gonna die. I didn't think it was fair that the last time I saw her, I just said, "See you later" and we never got to have a proper goodbye.
I wore purple to her funeral, even though everyone else wore black because it was her favourite colour. I read a poem that I'd written myself, and afterwards, at the burial, it was windy and raining. There were chimes hanging in the trees and that's all I remember hearing and I was glad it was raining, so no one would know that I was crying.

In March 2007, I had a miscarriage. What I remember about that is being in Holles Street on my own. I was only seventeen. I was only a kid, and I was scared. I needed somebody to tell me that it was gonna be okay, but there was no one. I stayed awake all night. In the morning, I had a scan and I watched the screen and it was just black and grey... and there was no heartbeat.
I discharged myself from hospital, because it was Sunday and I'd never ever missed a Sunday visit to my grandad.

I'll always remember the first time my mum told me that she loved me. I was twenty. She rang me one morning, a morning after a bit of an 'incident' the night before and she just said, "You know we all love you, don't you? You know I love you?" and I said... "I know". I've been kicking myself ever since! It was nice though, it was nice to hear.

And as for happier moments, there have been a million of them too. This post is long enough though, so I'll get around to them another time.

A few more spring to mind:

Being dressed by my dad on one particular morning for going to the babysitter. I would have been about 2 and a half at the time and it was in my parents room sitting on their bed on the left hand side. I was wearing a yellow blouse

Feeling the twins kicking when my mom was pregnant with them, I would've been just gone four and looked like a boy with my new self styled haircut. She was sitting on a chair in the kitchen beside the window facing the TV.

Having a big fight with my senior infants teacher over the actual number of shapes in a piece of out homework (the pictures where a roof is a triangle and people's heads are circles etc., very basic concept). I was so upset that she wouldn't even listen to me. I knew there were more than she was letting on. I was so upset I didn't even want to do PE after.

Being devastated that I lost my koala teddy that my dad got for me the day he got it in my babysitters house.

Being driven to A&E by my mom when I was having a bad asthma attack. I decided to stop trying to breath. I woke up to my mom hitting me and saying "Look at the man on the bike!". It was about 4.30am and there was a guy out on a bike going down this sh*tty road in the full garb, yellow hi-vis and all, I still remember it. It wasn't long after I turned 8 so it would have been early October and raining really heavily and there's a guy on a bike in the middle of the night. I'll never forget it. My mom always starts crying when she reminds me of that night.

That's enough for now I think. Really loving this thread OP!

Going anon for this. Thought I'd spill my guts about growing up with an alcoholic mother. A good few scarred for life moments. As a child I obviously wasn't allowed to talk about this and we were nearly put into care before. My poor dad tried so hard... Only my boyf knows this stuff and I only told him when I like 22.

My mam deciding to drunk drive to the office in town where she worked (family run) A beat up old ford fiesta, it must have been in '88 because I was about 4. I remember driving through (what I know now was) Ballsbridge and being sick with nerves because I didn't know where I was and I knew something wasn't right and that we'd probably crash.

Another time she drunkenly tried to give a lift home to a kid that had called down to spend the day. She stopped at lights and didn't put on handbrake or something and the car rolled back a little down main street and bumped another car and driver came up and asked if everything was alright and she was all waffly and tipsy. Mortified.

I had an old double bed out in my room when my little brother moved rooms, because I was 11 then and needed privacy. My mam would get blind drunk, shout all night, get into blazing rows with my dad (and he'd be so frustrated he might give her a slap and drag her upstairs to bed) She was so belligerent and demanding. Sometimes she'd come in then and say how much she loved me and cry stupid drunk tears and reek of vodka, then climb into my bed to sleep beside me. Wake up the next morning to find she'd pissed in my bed.

One time she was in the landing in her silk pyjama top, no bottoms at all and propping her self against the wall and started threatening to burn the house down and I remember pleading with her and crying and panicking to just please please please don't burn the house down. My dad came running up then and diffused it. Read her the riot act. I've never forgotten that feeling.

Another time, she hallucinated about winged horsemen coming and flying in the room and calling for her brother that had died in a motorcycle accident when he was in college.

She smacked me in the face before. I think I smacked her back.

I used to sneak downstairs, (Dad worked night shift) and watch inappropriate stuff like Freddy Kreuger, Candyman, IT the Clown, Carrie.... late at night. This really scared me. One night I was gonna go check that the latch was on the door before I went to bed. I was too scared to go down the hall because it was so dark (I was 7). Mam was drunk in bed. My Dad came home at 6am to find the front door wide open, house burgled and TV gone. Dad was so pissed off. I genuinely thought it was my fault.

My Dad is really controlled and doesn't drink due to my Mam. When I was about 6 my Dad said he was going out and we asked where and he said real casual like; "I'm going to the pub. I'm gonna go get drunk" and we kids just started begging him not to and crying and pushing him backwards to prevent him leaving. He told me later that he half wanted to know out reaction but never thought it's be so bad and he's regretted it so much since. I remember being so scared by that I'm on the verge of tears now.

One day we were out playing. I was in second class, we got locked out. Dad wouldn't be home for another 2 hours. We ended up calling our friends around the corner that I was in school with. I said "My Mam is drunk, we're locked out can we stay here til Dad gets back". The Mother cooked us fried egg and chips and even asked how we liked out egg to be cooked. It was a functional family. She walked us back over then and my Dad had been freaking out because he didn't know where we were.

That incident led to my dad getting tipped off that social services had been called. He called them first to say he couldn't cope just to ease the blow that he knew would come. My Mam had to go to rehab. For that couple of months the house was clean, we did chores, there was no smell of piss or cheap wine or cigarette smoke. We went in bed on time, we never watched TV. First time in my life with structure. She was allowed out for my Communion. I went back to the rehab place in my dress and all these down and out looking types, ravaged by a life of drink were giving me pound coins and shaking my hand. Odd experience.

Of course rehab made no difference and she was back to her old tricks and forging cheques behind my dads back for booze money, drinking children's allowance etc. Sometimes the police (or strangers) brought her home because she was wandering around at night. I was plying with a friend in the park and we saw a bum over the other side of the park so we went to investigate. Imagine my horror when I discovered it was Mam there on a bench, twisted with a piss puddle on the ground under the bench. Another time she fell asleep in the park and a knacker stole her rings.

At 12, my mam went on such a binge that she almost failed her kidneys from dehydration. I remember her in my double bed under that blue and white flower bed spread that my gran owned and I hated (she'd been there 3 days) croaking at me for a pint of water. Dad took her to hospital. On release they told her her liver, lungs, kidneys were all grand. Unbelievable.

Another time due to a drunken fall probably, she got an aneurysm on her brain. She was messing her words up. It was scary. She was sitting in the hospital bed with a patch of her head shaved and a metal plate. I didn't like visiting. I was in the hall and dad had gone to the gents. I looked in and saw my Mam having a violent seizure and I just freaked out and started yelling for my dad and he tried to get a nurse and I just stood there frozen watching her convulse while nurses ran in and tried to stop it.

It carried out through my teens and most Christmases were ruined because she'd get drunk and get also make a show of us at family parties. I'd have leaving cert exams and get no sleep because of the roaring and shouting.

My Gran lived with use from when I was 12 - 15 . She told me my Mam drinks because of us kids. I never forgave her for that.

I moved out and then didn't see my Mam's episodes. You kind of forget that things were ever like that. My Dad has retired since and can keep an eye on her and she doesn't binge drink or get really hammered anymore. The relationship damage is done though.

Folks, I gotta say I have tears in my eyes reading this thread. Some really powerful memories have been shared here.

For me, I remember when my mum called me in Brisbane to tell me to come home as my Grandad was seriously ill; he was perfectly well when I had last seen him, but had hidden his signs of prostate cancer because, sadly, he was a very proud man. That coupled with pneumonia in hospital.

When the nurse asked me to call my Gran into ICU, as he didn't have much time; her face, her voice, her whole demeanor..it brings me to tears to think of it even now. He died shortly after after her telling him that she was there and there was nothing to be afraid of.

When my little sister was born; ten years ago. It was a massive shock for us all (especially my parents!) but I remember getting a call from my Dad while I was at a society meeting in college at 8:15 pm on the 26th of October, to tell me I had a little sister at long last! Amazing!

The whole experience of getting together with my boyfriend. Love it and will never forget it.

When I got offered my masters course, having failed a few times. I was ecstatic

Passing my driving test first time. Shocked and will never forget the feeling!

There are more, some a little too personal.

/wiping away tears

This Thread is just amazing...

The main thing I have realised though is even though so many of us have gone through so much stuff everyone is coming out on the other side...

Really gives hope that no matter what happens it will all work out in the end!

Some really touching stories, my heart goes out to all your brave and wonderful people!!

These stories are inspiring and will give strenght to everyone who reads them!

I hope to share my stories some day but at the moment I'm still trying to find the words!

Thank you x x x

Heavy Rain, thank you for sharing your story. So much of it rings bells for me, because I too have an alcoholic mother. My mother was an alcoholic all through my childhood, and I have so many horrible scary memories of that time. After one extremely bad incident I and some of my other siblings were put into care.[Like you it was the first time I had any structure in my life and was so happy]. My father could not look after all 6 of us on his own. My mum got treatment, and I got out of care after 4 years, and a lot of court cases.
In my early teens my father committed suicide.My mum was sober for a short while, but started drinking again and continues to do so.My whole family has been torn apart, and I have just given up on any hope I once had for her getting better. I feel obliged to look after her and constantly forgive her because she's my mother and one of my best friends when sober. But sometimes, I feel so bloody angry, and thinking life is pointless. Mainly angry with myself, for not being strong enough to just cut ties with her.She still has so much control over how I live my life, and I'm too weak to stand up for myself or express how upset and angry I am.

It's not a very enjoyable type of life to live, always restraining your emotions and pretending to everyone that your happy and grand, always covering up for her, whilst secretly feeling like **** and depressed over the fact that your entire family is destroyed. Always wondering if there's anything you/or anyone could have said/ done different to try and change the past, although logically you have to keep saying that it's nobody's fault.
I tell myself that if I manage to get a degree, I am hoping that I can carve some sort of a life for myself, but I know that I will always love her, and will still always try my best to help her.
At the minute it's on going and I know that it is never going to end, never ever because she actually doesn't care or want to stop. That's the most depressing thought of all.