Kicked out at 18?

Agricola · 07-03-2010 09:05PM

Anthony16 wrote: »

Im 18 and live at home,and its gr8.Free and delicious home cooked meals while watching tv is just one of the advantages.I dont have that many rules to obide by,tbh.
However,once september comes round,im out and off to vet college in UCD,so i know it wont last forever but ill savour it for now:D

You young scallywag. Its people like you that are the cause of the global recession, with your staying at home antics. SHAME on you!

IvySlayer · 07-03-2010 09:31PM

uriah wrote: »

I know all about it. Rental accommodation is readily available and relatively cheap. Work to pay for yourself through college like many have done and many continue to do, Work hard at your studies and you will have decent qualification to get that good job. Travel. I will make you even more independent and broaden your mind.

Sometime in the distant future, you may decide to buy a house if you have worked hard enough to be able to afford it. Nothing wrong with renting all your life.

Give your parents a break. They have supported you for eighteen years. It's your own turn now.

Awwww your version of a sweet life, so precious. And glorious, and everything works out. It doesn't work like that though.

I know what I'm talking about, because I'm living through it, right now. I have my college degree and line of work. I'm saving a lot of my money. Hoping to move out withing a year. I've never been on my own holiday. Always with family. I help support my household. My friends are the same. They're all 19 - 23. Anyone under 23 is still living at home. Parents are paying for their way - it's their job and duty to see their child through until they can stand on their own 2 feet, no matter what age it takes them.

I don't approve of scroungers. I don't approve of piss-poor parents who abandon their child at 18.

MmmmmCheese · 07-03-2010 09:35PM

Ha my parents seem to be on the opposite end of the scale. I've been an almighty bitch for most of my teenage years and they seem to want to keep me at home forever!

You can't underestimate the importance of gaining independance and finding your own feet when you're finished school or off to college but sometimes its just not financially feasable.

I'd love to move out but i can't afford it and I don't want to ask my parents to help me out when I have a perfectly good roof over my head already.

This guys parents sound like scum.

iguana · 07-03-2010 09:38PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

There is nothing in the law saying that adults have to be living in their own houses and having a job.

No, but there is something in the law to say that parental responsibility is over. Parents can choose to support their adult children if they so wish, but they they don't have to and are well with in their rights to withdraw that support or put limits on it.

I'd have no problem helping to support my future adult children. If they are in college and the course they are attending is near my house then it makes sense for them to live with me if they want and I'd be fine with that as long as they respected house rules. If they want to attend a course further away and I can afford to help support them with that I will. If they are working they will be expected to contribute to the house financially and respect house rules. And if they are out of work they would still be expected to make a small financial contribution along with a bigger contribution to household chores.

Any financial support I'd give to my adult kids will be dependent on a number of factors. If they are clearly responsible adults I'd be happy to help out with the occasional treat or if I could help them with the "big ticket" items like a house/wedding I would. But if they were constantly taking the píss financially I don't plan on enabling that.

But all of that will be my choice. If another parent thinks that is too soft and wants their kids to move out when they become adults, then that is their choice too. I might think it's a little cold, depending on the circumstances, but it doesn't make them bad parents.

iguana · 07-03-2010 09:43PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

it's their job and duty to see their child through until they can stand on their own 2 feet, no matter what age it takes them.

It is absolutely not! It is their choice. Christ, I could be an ungrateful brat at times, but I never, ever, ever thought it was my right to live at home once I passed 18. I was always aware of the fact that I was there at their sufferance and that I was very lucky to have parents who allowed me to live a cushy early adulthood.

IvySlayer · 07-03-2010 09:49PM

iguana wrote: »

No, but there is something in the law to say that parental responsibility is over. Parents can choose to support their adult children if they so wish, but they they don't have to and are well with in their rights to withdraw that support or put limits on it.

I'd have no problem helping to support my future adult children. If they are in college and the course they are attending is near my house then it makes sense for them to live with me if they want and I'd be fine with that as long as they respected house rules. If they want to attend a course further away and I can afford to help support them with that I will. If they are working they will be expected to contribute to the house financially and respect house rules. And if they are out of work they would still be expected to make a small financial contribution along with a bigger contribution to household chores.

Any financial support I'd give to my adult kids will be dependent on a number of factors. If they are clearly responsible adults I'd be happy to help out with the occasional treat or if I could help them with the "big ticket" items like a house/wedding I would. But if they were constantly taking the píss financially I don't plan on enabling that.

But all of that will be my choice. If another parent thinks that is too soft and wants their kids to move out when they become adults, then that is their choice too. I might think it's a little cold, depending on the circumstances, but it doesn't make them bad parents.

iguana wrote: »

It is absolutely not! It is their choice. Christ, I could be an ungrateful brat at times, but I never, ever, ever thought it was my right to live at home once I passed 18. I was always aware of the fact that I was there at their sufferance and that I was very lucky to have parents who allowed me to live a cushy early adulthood.

If a kid is a little ****e I have no problems with the parents telling them to gtfo. And I'm happy that you would support your child until he/she was ready to fly from the nest by themselves.

Different parents have differents rules and in todays world, yes TODAY, the average person at 18 could not support themselves. I know none of my friends couldn't. College is just so time consuming these days. With all the classes/labs/assignments they don't have time to work. They need their parents help, and good parents give it.

Travel is good · 07-03-2010 09:54PM

I've only just read this thread and it saddens me. I had heard a story before about this. I'm a parent of two grown-up sons, and I couldn't have kicked them out at 18. I just think it depends on their maturity, health, financial & educational circumstances. I know most of us oldies and our parents had it harder, but I have no problem with the sons living at home. I don't do their cooking (not much) and don't do their laundry/ironing & expect them to do their share. I know you'll accuse me of being a bit soft here, but to be fair to both of them they have always been good at paying their own way. I think that a lot of 18 year olds need emotional support. If they want to move out/stay at home, then that should be fine. I can't comment on the original OP's case. There may have been extenuating circumstances, as to why he was warned at age 15, that he would have to leave home at 18.

iguana · 07-03-2010 10:06PM

IvySlayer wrote: »

Different parents have differents rules and in todays world, yes TODAY, the average person at 18 could not support themselves. I know none of my friends couldn't. College is just so time consuming these days. With all the classes/labs/assignments they don't have time to work. They need their parents help, and good parents give it.

That's nonsense though because lots of people do manage to do just that, even TODAY. I worked with a children's charity in London for years and I've seen people being discharged from care at 16 and going forward and being responsible for themselves.

Qualifications can be earned part-time or through correspondence courses like Open University. I got a good degree while working 30 plus hours a week in Dunnes all through a full-time college course (26 hours of lectures and tutorials a week, not including study and assignments) and I still went out 5/6 nights a week. I accept that not everyone can manage that but there are plenty of ways and means to succeed in life if you have the ability and determination.

If your parents are willing to make it easier for you then you should be grateful, seriously grateful, for their generosity. But that's what it is, generosity, it is certainly not duty.

El Siglo · 07-03-2010 10:30PM

iguana wrote: »

If your parents are willing to make it easier for you then you should be grateful, seriously grateful, for their generosity. But that's what it is, generosity, it is certainly not duty.

I'd hold a door open for a woman, not because I have to but because it's manners and courtesy. Now, even though you turn 18, parenting doesn't stop there and to be honest it never really stops until you do (i.e. toes turned up and on the stairway to heaven). Independence and all that post-modernist shite talk aside, your children will always be your children, 15 or 50. It doesn't mean that caring stops when they turn 18 and it shouldn't. I'd like to raise independent children, contributing to society etc... but not at the cost of turfing them out on the street because the law says they're 18 and that they're now 'adults'.

darkman2 · 07-03-2010 10:41PM

Just want to clarify that he was not disruptive at all, a very good student from a well off family and a nice person, which is why I don't really understand why they took the stance they did

Family were Jewish IIRC but that has hardly anything to do with it

Other then that they were a well off normal family you would find anywhere

My full stop button is not working btw

Dudess · 07-03-2010 10:42PM

As already said, there is a difference between leaving home at 18 with parental support, and being chucked out and left to fend for yourself. At this stage I'm not sure I even believe the story in the opening post, but if it's true, then the people who are in agreement with it: did your parents chuck you out and leave you to fend for yourself at 18? I'm not asking whether you left home at 18, I'm asking whether you were actually kicked out - you don't seem to be differentiating between the two. The fact you think it's unreasonable for a kid to be still at home just after doing the leaving cert when they're going to college is... bizarre (nobody's advocating a person just stay at home and do nothing at 18 and contribute nothing, but you guys seem to think it's essential to just move out, end of). Take two 18-year-olds: one living at home in Dublin and going to college in Trinity, working part-time in a supermarket, helping out around the house/garden, contributing a cut of their wages to household expenses.
The other: from Cork, going to Trinity, living in a fancy apartment on Pearse Street, parents funding them, working maybe a few hours in the campus shop during the week but keeping weekends free to be able to go home...
Opposite ends of the scale maybe, but one of them is living at home. Perhaps you should consider each case?
And do you honestly think someone should be grateful to their parents for raising them when that's what a parent is supposed to do? Good parents deserve respect from their children - good people deserve respect. And making sacrifices - yes, that deserves gratitude, but a parent fulfilling their responsibilities as a parent? Hardly deserves gratitude. And the same will apply when that child becomes a parent themselves.

cleremy jarkson wrote: »

Still though, do you think that people nowadays, myself and yourself probably included, tend to not realise how good we have it? I know we probably can't help it but it seems some people are absolutely ignorant to this and think that their lives are horrible when they don't have enough money to go out at the weekend or buy an outfit.

100% in agreement - the amount of crap here about how Ireland is a terrible deprived country on a par with Albania is laughable. But not moving out of home at 18 is not the same as being a spoilt brat. I can't believe some of the harsh-for-the-sake-of-it shit on this thread - by people who hardly had a harsh life themselves.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 07-03-2010 10:48PM

BroomBurner wrote: »

The guy could have been any sort of nasty individual, stealing money, breaking sh*t, etc. We don't know the reasons behind it, before anyone else comes out with their holier-than-thou "parents are dickheads" routine.

What if he was a danger to other siblings?

If this was such a problem, why wait until the guy is 18 to fcuk him out?

Also, he was told at 15 he'd be out, says a lot about him that he couldn't get some sort of plan in to action over the 3 years before the due date. If he knew his parents (i.e. wasn't too self-involved), then he would have known they were serious. His own fault.

I bet you couldn't have sorted yourself out at 15. Says a lot about him alrigh, says he was a pretty normal 15 year old. It's definately not his own fault.

cleremy jarkson wrote: »

why?

I know that the likelihood is that we will always have it easier than our grandparents did, anyway. But why should we be entitled to it, just because we have been brought up to expect it?

We are not living in our grandparents time, that's why. We don't have to leave home to work and help our parents raise the other 14 kids. Our parents, in general, have more than their parents, a larger income etc etc.

iguana wrote: »

The maximum dole in the UK for an adult is under £65 a week, and people manage just fine on that. Even in London which is as, if not more, expensive than anywhere in Ireland.

Why do people always bring up this stupid arguement, like it's pathetic. So fcuking what if they get £65 a week, shall we start comparing the likes of France too? Eh? No, didn't think so...

I wonder would they be able to live on £65 a week in Ireland? The answer to that question is no, no they would not be able to.

People manage just fine in the likes of Zimbabwae making a few dollars a day, should we reduce our income to match theirs? See the lack of logic in your arguement? No? Ok...

Simply put, England does not equal Ireland. If you want to compare them, then you must involve more factors than just the basic income of someone on social welfare. You have to factor in the cost of living etc etc, which, unsurprisingly, you failed to do.

It's a weak arguement, try again.

People in Ireland display a disgusting, disgusting sense of entitlement.

Examples...

I didn't point out that my parents married as young as they did in order to say we should too, but in order to point out that people of that age have been living the lives of responsible adults for generations.

And? Your point would be what exactly?

Times have changed, deal with it...

There is nothing wrong with waiting until longer to take on that level of responsibility and having fun in your late teens/twenties. But there is a HELL of a lot wrong with doing that at the expense of your parents.

No there's not. If they want to give their kids hundreds of euro a week to piss up against the wall, that's not the childs fault but a fcuking serious failure on the part of the parents. Free money? Damn right you'd take it.

The only reason people of my generation and younger were able to live the cushy lives they did is because their parents made it possible, to their own detriment. That's horrible, really really selfish and mean, to the people who've given you everything.

Everything? A bit of an over statement. If they chose to have children, expect to bring them up, care for them and invest a lot of money into that child. What are people to do? At the age of 18, begin paying back the money, should they add interest? So, it's selfish and mean for me to have a comfortable life because my parents worked their asses off? That's my understanding of what you said.

Pittens wrote: »

Parenting does stop.

If the parents are anyway good at all, it doesn't stop.

The rest of the world would be appalled at the general sentiment on this thread.

Again, this is not the rest of the world... and why should we give a shít about what the rest of the world thing? Eh?

It's our culture and it's always going to be like that, but the people who didn't have cushy lives, mammy and daddy there to help them out really hate the fact that some of us have loving parents who are actually good at parenting. It's a tough life, but don't hate us because we had it good...

iguana wrote: »

No, but there is something in the law to say that parental responsibility is over.

Care to point that out, and if there is anything about further education

Any financial support I'd give to my adult kids will be dependent on a number of factors. If they are clearly responsible adults I'd be happy to help out with the occasional treat or if I could help them with the "big ticket" items like a house/wedding I would. But if they were constantly taking the píss financially I don't plan on enabling that.

That's common sense, why give money to your child if he is going to piss it up against a wall every single time?

But all of that will be my choice. If another parent thinks that is too soft and wants their kids to move out when they become adults, then that is their choice too. I might think it's a little cold, depending on the circumstances, but it doesn't make them bad parents.

No no, it's pretty bad parenting if you fcuk your child out at the age of 18 with nowhere to go, no income and no support... yea, that's very bad parenting.

goat2 · 07-03-2010 10:50PM

robinph wrote: »

What rights of theirs was it to kick him out at 18? Admitedly they would then be an official adult, but is hardly good parenting. When was his birthday, did he get kicked out part way through the college year?

hopefully when they are old and fragile, they will see the error of their way, if that were done to me, i would not bother ever coming back never.

there is no way i would ever do that to my now grown up brood, who are always happy to be home and come back home, I always say that room was your room, is your room, and always will be your room, as no matter where they go ,or for how long, this is their home, full stop

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 07-03-2010 10:51PM

goat2 wrote: »

hopefully when they are old and fragile, they will see the error of their way, if that were done to me, i would not bother ever coming back never.

there is no way i would ever do that to my now grown up brood, who are always happy to be home and come back home, I always say that room was your room, is your room, and always will be your room, as no matter where they go ,or for how long, this is their home, full stop

Want to adopt me? Please?

Seloth · 07-03-2010 10:55PM

Speak as an 18 year old myself and in Leaving((Like Mos 18 year olds))

18 is way too young to be kicked out,If it's a college thing then I'm sure most of us would be delighted,as well as coming home during chrismas,Summer,Weekends etc.But too totally dump us out!As someone said earlier were big kids,We may look older but our bodies are still forming and are mines are still innocentish((In a way

))

iguana · 07-03-2010 11:01PM

Lane Raspy Mackerel wrote: »

Why do people always bring up this stupid arguement, like it's pathetic. So fcuking what if they get £65 a week, shall we start comparing the likes of France too? Eh? No, didn't think so...

I wonder would they be able to live on £65 a week in Ireland? The answer to that question is no, no they would not be able to...................You have to factor in the cost of living etc etc, which, unsurprisingly, you failed to do.

It's a weak arguement, try again.

Do you know anything?

The cost of living in London is SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER than it is anywhere in Ireland.

As for examples of selfishness well there are your comments and the comments of most adults on this thread who clearly still live with their parents and think that is their right.[/right] It is not. From 18 onwards whatever the parent provides for their adult children is at their discretion. There is nothing wrong with the anyone availing of that, I did. But there something wrong with assuming they are entitled to that.

07-03-2010 11:04PM

I think Lil Kitten was a bit harsh and I do think it's harsh to chuck your kid out at 18 just because you can, but I agree that ImXavier came across as a shining example of the spoiled, coddled Celtic Tiger cub. I still can't believe how many middle class Irish people in their early twenties are STILL being supported by Mammy and Daddy. And it's not a 'recession' thing - even the ones with good jobs and good salaries are choosing to stay at home to save to go to Oz for a year rather than be adults and rent their own place. I think that's pretty pathetic, tbh. It is most definitely sponging. Fair enough to be supported through college, but that's the absolute limit, IMO. I had to laugh at 23 being considered the cut off age for being a child. By 23 (which was in 2007 for me) I'd been living away from home for almost 6 years, had done a 4 year degree, had just done a J1 I paid for, had a full time job and was renting my own apartment. And my parents are middle class and supportive, they just don't believe in mollycoddling. In their eyes, I was an adult at 18. They are generous and have helped me out, but they want me to be independent.

iguana wrote: »

The simple fact is that our generation and younger were coddled. I started work at 17 and worked all through college, but I still faffed around for a couple of years after traveling about and taking advantage of my parent's generosity. I'm pretty ashamed of that. There is nothing wrong with living at home as an adult, but you should sure as hell be a contributing member of the household from as soon as you start having an income. But there is even less wrong with a parent who has raised their children to adulthood expecting to have their lives back.

I agree. I do think it's pretty heartless to kick out someone who has nowhere to go, but those who are living at home to save for holidays or to go out every weekend are taking advantage.

IvySlayer wrote:

Anyone under 23 is still living at home. Parents are paying for their way - it's their job and duty to see their child through until they can stand on their own 2 feet, no matter what age it takes them.

Eh....no it isn't. There comes a time when supporting your adult children starts to get ridiculous, and that's around the time they finish college. You really think parents should just keep doling out cash until their precious offspring find the career of their dreams? Even if it's not until they're 40? Indeed, it is pretty crazy to kick out your child at 18, but what you're suggesting is equally crazy. I'm 24 and I couldn't even imagine still living off my parents. They're there if I need them and wouldn't stop me moving home if I was desperate, but I'm too old to be relying on them.

Dudess · 07-03-2010 11:10PM

I think it's perfectly reasonable to have a sense of entitlement to not being fucked out the door without any support just after doing the leaving cert.

Fear Uladh · 07-03-2010 11:11PM

[quote=[Deleted User];64801855]I think Lil Kitten was a bit harsh and I do think it's harsh to chuck your kid out at 18 just because you can, but I agree that ImXavier came across as a shining example of the spoiled, coddled Celtic Tiger cub. I still can't believe how many middle class Irish people in their early twenties are STILL being supported by Mammy and Daddy. And it's not a 'recession' thing - even the ones with good jobs and good salaries are choosing to stay at home to save to go to Oz for a year rather than be adults and rent their own place. I think that's pretty pathetic, tbh. It is most definitely sponging. Fair enough to be supported through college, but that's the absolute limit, IMO. I had to laugh at 23 being considered the cut off age for being a child. By 23 (which was in 2007 for me) I'd been living away from home for almost 6 years, had done a 4 year degree, had just done a J1 I paid for, had a full time job and was renting my own apartment. And my parents are middle class and supportive, they just don't believe in mollycoddling. In their eyes, I was an adult at 18. They are generous and have helped me out, but they want me to be independent.

I agree. I do think it's pretty heartless to kick out someone who has nowhere to go, but those who are living at home to save for holidays or to go out every weekend are taking advantage.

Eh....no it isn't. There comes a time when supporting your adult children starts to get ridiculous, and that's around the time they finish college. You really think parents should just keep doling out cash until their precious offspring find the career of their dreams? Even if it's not until they're 40? Indeed, it is pretty crazy to kick out your child at 18, but what you're suggesting is equally crazy. I'm 24 and I couldn't even imagine still living off my parents. They're there if I need them and wouldn't stop me moving home if I was desperate, but I'm too old to be relying on them.[/QUOTE]

The whole argument has been that the guys parents threw him out regardless of whether he needed them or not. That is the reason this thread has gone completely ridiculous. You have one side saying it is tough luck and the other saying they wouldn't see their own children(regardless of age) struggling and wouldn't hesitate in the slightest in helping them. There is a world of difference in helping a sponger and helping your own child.

Mike 1972 · 07-03-2010 11:13PM

iguana wrote: »

Do you know anything? The cost of living in London is SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER than it is anywhere in Ireland..

Is it really ?

Housing is but if one is unemployed this is largely covered by Housing benefit
Same story RE: Council tax

07-03-2010 11:18PM

Lane Raspy Mackerel wrote: »

Why do people always bring up this stupid arguement, like it's pathetic. So fcuking what if they get £65 a week, shall we start comparing the likes of France too? Eh? No, didn't think so...

I wonder would they be able to live on £65 a week in Ireland? The answer to that question is no, no they would not be able to.

People manage just fine in the likes of Zimbabwae making a few dollars a day, should we reduce our income to match theirs? See the lack of logic in your arguement? No? Ok...

Simply put, England does not equal Ireland. If you want to compare them, then you must involve more factors than just the basic income of someone on social welfare. You have to factor in the cost of living etc etc, which, unsurprisingly, you failed to do.

It's a weak arguement, try again.

Eh...have you ever BEEN to London? I think you'll find the cost of living is way, way higher than anywhere in Ireland. Yet most of my friends here (I live in London) who are originally from London moved out at 18 or 19 and are independent adults.

Everything? A bit of an over statement. If they chose to have children, expect to bring them up, care for them and invest a lot of money into that child. What are people to do? At the age of 18, begin paying back the money, should they add interest? So, it's selfish and mean for me to have a comfortable life because my parents worked their asses off? That's my understanding of what you said.

It's selfish and mean to take advantage of your parents just because you can.

If the parents are anyway good at all, it doesn't stop.

Parenting involves much more than financial support. Good parents will always be there to give advice and help - doesn't mean they should be supporting a 35 year old wannabe actor who thinks he's above working in Burger King.

Again, this is not the rest of the world... and why should we give a shít about what the rest of the world thing? Eh?

To give you some perspective.

It's our culture and it's always going to be like that, but the people who didn't have cushy lives, mammy and daddy there to help them out really hate the fact that some of us have loving parents who are actually good at parenting. It's a tough life, but don't hate us because we had it good...

I'm actually cringing at how much of a spoiled brat you come across as. You sound exactly like the whiny, coddled, immature D4 heads I encountered at Trinity. You think people must be jealous just because they think sponging off their parents is wrong. I come from a solid middle class background. My parents live in a very big house in a very nice area and my dad has a very good job. Most of my friends are surprised to find this out because I'm not a spoiled brat. I've never wanted for anything and my parents have been amazing, but I was brought up knowing the value of money and being expected to work hard. Bringing your children up to be lazy scroungers is not good parenting. I know some seriously wealthy people whose kids are expected to work through college and pay rent once they leave college. It might seem harsh but they don't want their kids turning out like Celtic Tiger cubs.

uriah · 07-03-2010 11:25PM

El Siglo wrote: »

I'd hold a door open for a woman, not because I have to but because it's manners and courtesy. Now, even though you turn 18, parenting doesn't stop there and to be honest it never really stops until you do (i.e. toes turned up and on the stairway to heaven). Independence and all that post-modernist shite talk aside, your children will always be your children, 15 or 50. It doesn't mean that caring stops when they turn 18 and it shouldn't. I'd like to raise independent children, contributing to society etc... but not at the cost of turfing them out on the street because the law says they're 18 and that they're now 'adults'.

You never stop being a parent, but if you are still parenting someone who is an adult, then you both have problems.

Adults do not need and should not accept 'parenting'.

uriah · 07-03-2010 11:31PM

Seloth wrote: »

Speak as an 18 year old myself and in Leaving((Like Mos 18 year olds))

18 is way too young to be kicked out,If it's a college thing then I'm sure most of us would be delighted,as well as coming home during chrismas,Summer,Weekends etc.But too totally dump us out!As someone said earlier were big kids,We may look older but our bodies are still forming and are mines are still innocentish((In a way ))

Mother of God - bodies still forming? There are many eighteen year olds who are parents themselves!!

iguana · 07-03-2010 11:31PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Is it really ?

Housing is but if one is unemployed this is largely covered by Housing benefit
Same story RE: Council tax

Isn't there an extremely generous rental allowance in Ireland? And you still need to pay a portion of your council tax in the UK along with water charges.

Dudess · 07-03-2010 11:40PM

[quote=[Deleted User];64802105]Most of my friends are surprised to find this out because I'm not a spoiled brat. I've never wanted for anything and my parents have been amazing, but I was brought up knowing the value of money and being expected to work hard. Bringing your children up to be lazy scroungers is not good parenting. I know some seriously wealthy people whose kids are expected to work through college and pay rent once they leave college. It might seem harsh but they don't want their kids turning out like Celtic Tiger cubs.[/QUOTE]
I'm from a similar background to you Izzy, but I wouldn't condemn people living at home late until I know their circumstances. It's not necessarily scrounging at all - it could be nothing other than using the four walls to live within, but other than that, being independent and just having it as a means to an end.

iguana · 07-03-2010 11:48PM

Dudess wrote: »

The fact you think it's unreasonable for a kid to be still at home just after doing the leaving cert when they're going to college is... bizarre (nobody's advocating a person just stay at home and do nothing at 18 and contribute nothing, but you guys seem to think it's essential to just move out, end of).

I don't think very many people think it's unreasonable to stay at home at 18, especially if they are in college. However I think it's extremely unreasonable to treat staying at home as your right. Adult children only stay at home at their parents' generosity as their duty of care has ended.

I think kicking your kid out at 18 is an extremely cold act, unless there are specific circumstances which make it necessary. But if the person knew for years that at 18 they would be expected to stand on their own two feet then they should have prepared for that. It's not a nice situation to have to deal with, and I have some sympathy for the guy. But he hasn't been in anyway mistreated by this act.

Fear Uladh · 07-03-2010 11:56PM

iguana wrote: »

I don't think very many people think it's unreasonable to stay at home at 18, especially if they are in college. However I think it's extremely unreasonable to treat staying at home as your right. Adult children only stay at home at their parents' generosity as their duty of care has ended.

I think kicking your kid out at 18 is an extremely cold act, unless there are specific circumstances which make it necessary. But if the person knew for years that at 18 they would be expected to stand on their own two feet then they should have prepared for that. It's not a nice situation to have to deal with, and I have some sympathy for the guy. But he hasn't been in anyway mistreated by this act.

So you are telling us that regardless of the fact he was 15 and didn't know any better, had no qualifications to get a job at that age to in fact save up for this inevitable moment, the educational path he had chosen at the time might not have been the right one or he could still be in education at this moment in time and he may not have developed the common sense you obviously were blessed with at 18, those reasons permitting you would give the sole fact that he was TOLD at 15 as a basis for chucking your child on to the street? I really don't care what the law says there is no humanity in it.

Dudess · 08-03-2010 12:04AM

When does the "18 = adult" legislation date from? Because it doesn't seem to take quite a lot into account. I'm presuming it dates from before 18 was the age of leaving school...

Those who say 18-year-olds can just leap from schoolkid to adult are being very disingenuous/obtuse.

iguana · 08-03-2010 12:05AM

Chillaxe wrote: »

So you are telling us that regardless of the fact he was 15 and didn't know any better, had no qualifications to get a job at that age to in fact save up for this inevitable moment, the educational path he had chosen at the time might not have been the right one or he could still be in education at this moment in time and he may not have developed the common sense you obviously were blessed with at 18, those reasons permitting you would give the sole fact that he was TOLD at 15 as a basis for chucking your child on to the street? I really don't care what the law says there is no humanity in it.

What do you mean he didn't know any better at 15? You don't just snap from a helpless child into an adult on your 18th birthday. You grow up bit by bit. At 15 most people will be able to start working out what he can do. He can talk to his guidance counsellor at school and when he is closer to 18 he can make an appointment with social welfare in order to discuss his options. He could have gotten a part-time job from 16 and started saving.

I don't think that's an ideal way to grow up, but if he knew what his parents were like he should have and could have prepared for that.

Dudess · 08-03-2010 12:09AM

uriah wrote: »

Mother of God - bodies still forming? There are many eighteen year olds who are parents themselves!!

There was a time when people were parents at 13 - childhood where it ends now is a social construction. That doesn't mean there's less validity to it though.

Kicked out at 18?

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