Kicked out at 18?

darkman2

I know a guy that was kicked out of his (very nice) house at 18. His parents told him that come 18 he was out whether he had a roof over his head or not (he told me this at 15 or 16). 18 and he was gone (no roof). And so he was. Don't know what happened to the guy except that the parents were as good as their word. What do you think? Is it a rough to be kind type situation or a bastardly situation?


TBH I wish I was kicked out at 18 - it would have thought me a thing or two very bloody quick!

x PyRo

Fuck that noise.

I hate people like that.

mikom

darkman2 wrote: »

Kicked out at 18?

In Vietnam it was Nineteen........... nineteen, nineteen, nineteen, nineteen
None of them received a hero's welcome.

darkman2

darkman2 wrote: »

I know a guy that was kicked out of his (very nice) house at 18.!

They couldn't wait to turn his room into a BDSM dungeon!

Swingers!

seanybiker

i cant imagine someone willingly letting their own child become homeless in all fairness.

darkman2

seanybiker wrote: »

i cant imagine someone willingly letting their own child become homeless in all fairness.

AFAIK that is effectively what hapened with this guy - though he did know many years in advance that he would be leaving at 18. He was homeless when they got rid of him. Must be said they were well within their rights to do so as distasteful as it may seem. Some would say it is "rough to be kind" Maybe he is a millionaire now but got it rough....and he probrably is'nt!

fuelinjection

darkman2 wrote: »

AFAIK that is effectively what hapened with this guy - though he did know many years in advance that he would be leaving at 18. He was homeless when they got rid of him. Must be said they were well within their rights to do so as distasteful as it may seem. Some would say it is "rough to be kind" Maybe he is a millionaire now but got it rough....and he probrably is'nt!

knacker parents lets hope he does ok and can pay the bills. Takes a hardcore kind of scumbag to feed a kid for 18 years and then kick them out for no good reason , bet they have 4 dogs and 12 cats still in the house though.

I would give his daddy a black eye if I ever met him, myself.

Minstrel27

Dickhead parents. I hope he cuts all communications with them.

stovelid

While you would like your children to be independent and not be living with you forever, I hate hearing about parents like that. It's like their parenting was a short-term loan with a rigid payback date. Hopefully they have no pension provisions and he can tell them I'll put you in a home until you're 80 then after that, tough shit.

robinph

What rights of theirs was it to kick him out at 18? Admitedly they would then be an official adult, but is hardly good parenting. When was his birthday, did he get kicked out part way through the college year?

Saibh

darkman2 wrote: »

I know a guy that was kicked out of his (very nice) house at 18. His parents told him that come 18 he was out whether he had a roof over his head or not (he told me this at 15 or 16). 18 and he was gone (no roof). And so he was. Don't know what happened to the guy except that the parents were as good as their word. What do you think? Is it a rough to be kind type situation or a bastardly situation?


TBH I wish I was kicked out at 18 - it would have thought me a thing or two very bloody quick!

Looks like they never really wanted to be parents if they can tell their child at 15 that he will have nowhere to live or have any support.

edvedfan

I know a few parents who have told their son (who are particularly difficult and have caused a lot of trouble for the family) that they would have to leave when they are eighteen. They did however offer to lend a hand when it comes to rent, bills etc.

brianthebard

He picked the wrong parents that time....

Wagon

So he hits 18 and is just out of school. He has had no time to save any money, probably might not even have a job because they're bloody hard to find at 18 and even if he does then that means that he'll hae a low paying crappy one in one of the most expensive countries in the world. and his parents just expect him to deal with it? ****. If i ever had kids i would never do that. I couldn't afford to move out until i was 22 and even then i had to move back for a bit because i couldnt find a job.

I really hope he punched the ****ing face off the both of them. I certainly would.

WIZE

Minstrel27 wrote: »

Dickhead parents. I hope he cuts all communications with them.

Maybe thats what they are hoping .

Dan I Am

Did they feel like they had their reasons and were justified in doing so, or were they just selfish people who had weird ideas about parenting?

Abi

I was fucked out before I hit 18. He did well there.

WIZE

Abitar wrote: »

I was fucked out before I hit 18. He did well there.

You must ha been very Bold like the OPs Friend*

















*may not be true

brianthebard

galwayrush wrote: »

Porn for Guns might be a better place to start in the States.:rolleyes:

multiple tabs open at the one time?

briankirby

stovelid wrote: »

While you would like your children to be independent and not be living with you forever, I hate hearing about parents like that. It's like their parenting was a short-term loan with a rigid payback date. Hopefully they have no pension provisions and he can tell them I'll put you in a home until you're 80 then after that, tough shit.

True,the son should never speak to them again.Its as if he was a burden all this time.They will get their come uppins wen they need him to take care of em,as youv said

biko

Minstrel27 wrote: »

Dickhead parents. I hope he cuts all communications with them.

Dan I Am wrote: »

Did they feel like they had their reasons and were justified in doing so, or were they just selfish people who had weird ideas about parenting?

Too fecking right! At 18 you should have a job/uni and stop leeching off your parents.
They changed the nappies, fed and raised you all those years, now go out in the world and make something of yourself - that's the least you can do.

Abi

Most Haunted wrote: »

You must ha been very Bold like the OPs Friend

I was a niiightmare. Hangovers in school. Grounded? ask my arse.

/climbs out bedroom window

Fucked off for a few days without calling home sometimes. Not much has changed tbh :pac:

Catari Jaguar

In fairness, he had plenty of warning. We know nothing about this situation. Maybe he had given them a hard time, or dropped out of school or was on drugs... Maybe not but once he hits 18 he's an adult. If you're not paying rent to your parents then they have every right to kick you out. What is all this "poor guy, hope he's ok" stuff? How hard is it to flat share with some friends and pay a few bills?! Even social welfare would cover that.

Most of our generation were spoiled and selfish, moving back home in their late 20s to save for a mortgage or asking their parents to loan it to them. Huge pre-recession weddings funded by the Bank of Dad too. Cop on and show some respect and gratitude to the people that raised you.

Too many people leaving home at 23 or so, after leeching through college so they can save for that doss year in Oz or Thailand. And then when they return *Oh no, I've no money now so I have to move home with Mammy and Daddy*. Who has parents that got to travel all over the world in their twenties?!

Ever think that maybe your parents want to spend their money on themselves or want some peace and quiet. They desrve it after raising you. And anyone that uses a retirement home as a threat is sick.

My Dad, all his friends, and his sisters had to feck off to London at 18/19 in the 1960s because there were no jobs in Ireland. That was the norm.

Boyfriend's Gran was an orphan in the 1950s, she had to raise all her younger siblings at 14 years old. There was no social welfare back then either. They got jobs in a local sweet factory and had to eat leftover sweets for dinner. (No, not as fab as it sounds :rolleyes:)

I dunno, I'm ranting but sometimes I get annoyed at the lack of perspective at how good we had it for most our lives. I know the **** has hit the fan now but we still have it a lot better than most of the world.

gonnaplayrugby

wow very odd lil kitten. this guys parents sound like scum. in norway u cant even get a job until your 21. 18 is not grown up at all. 18 is a kid.

i never caused any problems for my parents and i'll have my box room for as long as i want.

OutlawPete

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzmfpfIq0-4

krudler

Marge "you do remember the promise you made to the kids dont you Homer?"
Homer "when you're 18, you're out the door!"

gavkm27

All depends on the situation for the guy you talking about

I was booted out when i was 18,raised by my mother until then and she had enough of my ****(drink,Drugs)
You are all very quick with your judgements,my mam had been through it all with my Dad and was'nt prepared to put up with my ****.

I went onto to full blown drug addiction and was lucky enough to get clean at 21,i now have a great life and although i resented my ma for kicking me out,it got me to where i need to go quicker instead of just leeching off her and my sisters.She was only enabling my drug addiction while i stayed there.

dubtom

Hard to know what to think without the OP telling us what his friend was like,a junkie?all around trouble maker? if so I'd say fair play to the parents for getting rid of him. If he was a normal well adjusted young lad..actually scrap that,how you could you be well adjusted knowing from 15 your out on you ear, if he was f ucked up it's their fault.

Jimmy Bottlehead

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Boyfriend's Gran was an orphan in the 1950s, she had to raise all her younger siblings at 14 years old. There was no social welfare back then either. They got jobs in a local sweet factory and had to eat leftover sweets for dinner.

Living the dream!

07734

That's why you should never give your kids names. Makes it easier when you have to throw them out, or put them in a sack and toss them in the river or whatever.

brummytom

Wow, his parents are cunts

Mike 1972

How does it work with kids in care homes -are they chucked out on their 18th birthday or is there some kind of transition/follow up support process ?

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Even social welfare would cover that..

Not in Ireland it wouldnt given waiting times/rent deposits/half dole for under 24's

And depending on what month one is born in they could still be in school on their 18th birthday.

Agricola

Very harsh and completely unfair. At 18 hes just a big kid. Turfing him out to fend for himself when hes just out of school is wrong. Alot of people under 30 like spouting the line that someone of 18 is an adult and they should be able to manage. Someone of 50, especially a parent would normally have a very different opinion. Maybe if he was 22 and after getting a 3rd level qualification, you could begin to understand, but my opinion is if your goal in life is just to pop a sprog, endure it for 18 years and then get rid so you can get back to the good life, you have no business having children.

gonnaplayrugby

well said. 22-23 you might have to start being like maby you should go out and experience the world but 18 no way.

Dudess

Lil Kitten wrote: »

sometimes I get annoyed at the lack of perspective at how good we had it for most our lives. I know the **** has hit the fan now but we still have it a lot better than most of the world.

That I agree with - I think it's absolutely hilarious to see comments about how Ireland is a "third world country" etc by 20-year-olds here. And I'm not saying I ever knew hardship either. Most people born from the early 70s onwards (and that's stretching it) here haven't a clue what hardship is.
However I don't think that's the issue in this case - the issue is the guy's parents seem totally heartless (ok, it's true we don't have any info on the guy himself but we can only go on what the OP has provided). So what if they had it tough when they were 18? Why should they impose that on their son? It was necessary in their day, it's not now, so why should he be punished?

Magnus wrote: »

They changed the nappies, fed and raised you all those years

Magnus, those - especially the first two - are parental duties. It's not as if there's anything special being done there for a child; as if those are huge sacrifices. If a parent didn't do them, they would be neglecting their responsibilities.
You should have respect for your parents if they are good people and made sacrifices for you, but you don't "owe" them anything for feeding, changing and raising you.

now go out in the world and make something of yourself - that's the least you can do.

Well yeah, but why necessarily at 18? You're just out of school at 18 - the days of having to go out and get a job as soon as you're old enough to do so, because it was an absolute necessity, are long gone for the vast majority in this country.
Staying at home after 18 doesn't automatically mean "sponging" - the person might be going to college, working part-time (full-time duing the holidays) and contributing towards household expenses. That was the case for me. I went to a university which is about seven miles from my parents' house - it wouldn't have made financial sense for me to move out, nor would it have made financial sense for me to move away to go to college when the course I wanted to do was seven miles away.

It just reeks of bitterness and resentment on the parents' part...

Aldito

darkman2 wrote: »

it would have thought me a thing or two very bloody quick!

Might have thought you how to spell :P

pickarooney

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Boyfriend's Gran was an orphan in the 1950s, she had to raise all her younger siblings at 14 years old. There was no social welfare back then either. They got jobs in a local sweet factory and had to eat leftover sweets for dinner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Abitar wrote: »

I was a niiightmare. Hangovers in school. Grounded? ask my arse.

/climbs out bedroom window

Fucked off for a few days without calling home sometimes. Not much has changed tbh :pac:

So you were like a lot of teenagers. Parents are cnuts, end of...

Lil Kitten wrote: »

In fairness, he had plenty of warning. We know nothing about this situation. Maybe he had given them a hard time, or dropped out of school or was on drugs...

No excuses to make your own child homeless.

Maybe not but once he hits 18 he's an adult.

The state defines an adult as being over 23. Technically, you are dependant on your parents until this age.

If you're not paying rent to your parents then they have every right to kick you out.

They sure do, but you would have to be some piece of shít to kick out your child.

What is all this "poor guy, hope he's ok" stuff? How hard is it to flat share with some friends and pay a few bills?! Even social welfare would cover that.

I am sure you would be able to live on 100 a week, right? :rolleyes:

This is next to impossible to do on social welfare at his age.

Most of our generation were spoiled and selfish

You can speak for yourself and nobody else here.

moving back home in their late 20s to save for a mortgage or asking their parents to loan it to them.

It's extremely difficult for young people to get on the property ladder. There is nothing wrong with having the initiative to buy your own home, even if it means living with your parents to save fora deposit.

Huge pre-recession weddings funded by the Bank of Dad too.

Jealous? You married? Restricted to the registrary office and a cocktail sausages back in the local for your reception?

Cop on and show some respect and gratitude to the people that raised you.

Raised him, then fcuked him out when he was 18 with no house or support. Respect? They need a good slap in the jaw, the both of his parents.

Too many people leaving home at 23 or so,

And? What's your point exactly?

after leeching through college

Generalise much?

so they can save for that doss year in Oz or Thailand.

Have you done it? Probably not. Do you begrudge them this because you couldn't go?

And then when they return *Oh no, I've no money now so I have to move home with Mammy and Daddy*.

So? Why are you so jealous of these people, the relationship they have with their parents and the things they have done?

Who has parents that got to travel all over the world in their twenties?!

Pretty shítty arguement to be honest. Differant times. Why are plenty of people able to see the world in their 20's? Because we fcuking can. Our parents didn't get that chance, but that's not my fcuking problem.

Ever think that maybe your parents want to spend their money on themselves or want some peace and quiet.

They want the best of both worlds, if it's such a problem, don't have kids.

They desrve it after raising you. And anyone that uses a retirement home as a threat is sick.

It's a pretty funny threat actually, and one that should be enforced more than it is.

My Dad, all his friends, and his sisters had to feck off to London at 18/19 in the 1960s because there were no jobs in Ireland.

So did a lot of people back then. That was the norm, your dad and all his friends are not special cases.

Boyfriend's Gran was an orphan in the 1950s, she had to raise all her younger siblings at 14 years old.

That's tough shít really, now we have the infrastructure to deal with this sort of thing.

There was no social welfare back then either.

Well there is now, and it's great...

They got jobs in a local sweet factory and had to eat leftover sweets for dinner.

A job most kids would kill for.

I dunno, I'm ranting but sometimes I get annoyed at the lack of perspective at how good we had it for most our lives. I know the **** has hit the fan now but we still have it a lot better than most of the world.

We had a lot when we grew up, it was great. We are not used to what it was like back in the 50's and 60's, you cannot compare the two eras as most things are completely different.

IvySlayer

Ohhhh Xavier. You the man, exactly what I was going to post

That's horrible parenting.. If I wanted my kid out of the house, I'd set him up and help him for a year or two. Make sure he was ok. But even then, I don't think I could force the issue.
I'm only 22 but look back to when I was 18 as if I was a child running about.

Mike 1972

TBH we dont know this families full circumstances and they may have been some behavioural issues on the part of the son which might have justified the parents actions.

But they would have needed to be pretty extreme quite frankly

Pittens

This kind of thing is common in most (AngloSphere) countries - what happens at 18 is you leave home either to go to College, or to go work. many people change cities - how many Americans live where they grew up? In England people go to College away from where they live ( very few people live in Oxford, or Cambridge - and anyway it's just the done thing, there being less concentration of colleges in London - Londoners go to Bristol, Bristolians go to Cardiff or Aberswyth, Northern English go to Edinburgh. It is considered part of the college experience - and in the US too, get into a Frat house)

I left home at 17/18 - to be fair I did go home for weekends whenever I wanted to. Food was cooked. Food was taken. Washing was done, in some cases.

These parents are certainly nasty if they dont allow that, or if he was immediately told to go on his actual 18th birthday. But saying to an adult that he should move on at 18 is exactly right, and good for him.

in norway u cant even get a job until your 21. 18 is not grown up at all. 18 is a kid.

Lol. Irish women have a lot to put up with. The guy stays at home until he is 28, nver cooks nor cleans, and then gets a new mom. This is part of it.

Catari Jaguar

Wow, Xavier, just wow...

You confuse my "jealousy" with wanting to have pride and independence and take responsibility for myself. If I want a big fancy wedding (I don't, it's a pointless waste of money) or a gap year I'll pay for it myself. My parents were more than good to me.

As for the rest of your post, your general "me, me ,me I'm alright so **** the rest" attitude sucks. You epitomise the Celtic Tiger cub. And again, my disdain had nothing to do with jealousy.

Yea child labour because your parents are dead. A lollipop is all worth it. WTF is wrong with you?? :rolleyes:

If I was your Mam and knew you'd turn out to have that mindset I'd have left you on the Church doorstep in a bassinet.

Mike 1972

Pittens wrote: »

This kind of thing is common in most (AngloSphere) countries - what happens at 18 is you leave home.

Bit of a difference between leaving home a few months either side of ones 18th birthday and been chucked out the millisecond after one turns 18

Wagon

Lil Kitten, your completey wrong and your posts are stained with complete bull. Xiaver is right. His points made complete sense. You on the other hand are basically saying that we should all live in shít because our parents did. Which is just thick because every generation moves forward with its own progress and ALSO it's own new problems that it has to try and solve for the next one.

And also, we never ask to be born. If two people concieve and have a child then they are parents and it's their duty to raise their children. If you decide to fúck your child out on the street to be homeless so they learn to "fend for themselves" then it doesn't matter what you did for them beforehand. You've just chucked them out to be homeless. You're a crap parent. You expect your children to be grateful for that? That's some crap parent you'd be.

Dudess

Lil Kitten wrote: »

In fairness, he had plenty of warning.

Oh that's all right so - he had enough time to sort something out for himself. Oh wait... he was a teenage boy doing the leaving.

Maybe not but once he hits 18 he's an adult.

How can a person who's just left school seriously be considered an adult?

If you're not paying rent to your parents then they have every right to kick you out.

What if you can't afford to pay rent because you're a student and you're not entitled to a grant?

What is all this "poor guy, hope he's ok" stuff?

He's a kid.

How hard is it to flat share with some friends and pay a few bills?! Even social welfare would cover that.

His friends are most likely still living at home or else moved away to college. And social welfare? This is all a bit contradictory - so just claim the dole when he's kicked out if nothing else is on offer? If making something of himself and being independent are the concerns here, surely he'd be better off staying at home and doing a college course/apprenticeship?

Were you completely independent of your parents at 18?

Most of our generation were spoiled and selfish, moving back home in their late 20s to save for a mortgage or asking their parents to loan it to them. Huge pre-recession weddings funded by the Bank of Dad too. Cop on and show some respect and gratitude to the people that raised you.

Too many people leaving home at 23 or so, after leeching through college so they can save for that doss year in Oz or Thailand. And then when they return *Oh no, I've no money now so I have to move home with Mammy and Daddy*. Who has parents that got to travel all over the world in their twenties?!

So what? They couldn't, our generation can.

I agree with you on the flash wedding, colossal mortgage thing but I cannot understand the problem with moving home briefly - you're their child, there is a bedroom there. Once it's only temporary and once you help out financially and around the house and don't get in the way (and I'm not denying there are some people who completely take the piss out of this)... any parent who'd begrudge that seems pretty damn cantankerous.
I hated having to ask my parents for money - I always did my best to finance myself through college, but at the end of the day, if I needed their help (and I had to move home for a short while at 29 - didn't particularly want to either) I'd have been shocked if they'd begrudged me it.

My Dad, all his friends, and his sisters had to feck off to London at 18/19 in the 1960s because there were no jobs in Ireland.

Boyfriend's Gran was an orphan in the 1950s, she had to raise all her younger siblings at 14 years old. There was no social welfare back then either. They got jobs in a local sweet factory and had to eat leftover sweets for dinner.

I dunno, I'm ranting but sometimes I get annoyed at the lack of perspective at how good we had it for most our lives. I know the **** has hit the fan now but we still have it a lot better than most of the world.

Plenty of your parents' generation will think you've had it too good also though.

My parents' generation had it hard too, but so what? People who make others suffer because they did (and I'm not referring to the harmless "ee, back in mah day" ranting - my mum does that and she's a wonderful parent), not out of necessity, just as a matter of "principle", tend to be unbearable...

Lil Kitten

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Wow, Xavier, just wow...

You confuse my "jealousy" with wanting to have pride and independence and take responsibility for myself. If I want a big fancy wedding (I don't, it's a pointless waste of money) or a gap year I'll pay for it myself. My parents were more than good to me.

As for the rest of your post, your general "me, me ,me I'm alright so **** the rest" attitude sucks. You epitomise the Celtic Tiger cub. And again, my disdain had nothing to do with jealousy.

Yea child labour because your parents are dead. A lollipop is all worth it. WTF is wrong with you?? :rolleyes:

If I was your Mam and knew you'd turn out to have that mindset I'd have left you on the Church doorstep in a bassinet.

Ignore.

iguana

Lane Raspy Mackerel wrote: »

The state defines an adult as being over 23. Technically, you are dependant on your parents until this age.

No it doesn't, you are an adult at 18. However if a parent has adult children in full time education the parents may still claim support for them. This doesn't mean they are not adults, however, but adult dependents.

At 18 you are an adult. My parents got married at 18 and 19. They started a family very shortly afterward. My dad went to work, they paid their rent and bills and saved a deposit for a house which they bought at 26 and 25 by which time they had 3 children.

The simple fact is that our generation and younger were coddled. I started work at 17 and worked all through college, but I still faffed around for a couple of years after traveling about and taking advantage of my parent's generosity. I'm pretty ashamed of that. There is nothing wrong with living at home as an adult, but you should sure as hell be a contributing member of the household from as soon as you start having an income. But there is even less wrong with a parent who has raised their children to adulthood expecting to have their lives back.

Cheap Thrills!

18 !!

Its a year more than I got !!!

Bleedin spoilt BRAT !!

Dudess

I think it's reasonable to express the view that many born in the 70s and onwards have been spoilt and take the piss out of their parents (although apart from the obvious "My Super Sweet 16" or whatever type crap though, this can be subjective) but that doesn't require going to the extreme of agreeing with an 18-year-old kid being thrown out by his parents, just... because.

IvySlayer

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Wow, Xavier, just wow...

You confuse my "jealousy" with wanting to have pride and independence and take responsibility for myself. If I want a big fancy wedding (I don't, it's a pointless waste of money) or a gap year I'll pay for it myself. My parents were more than good to me.

As for the rest of your post, your general "me, me ,me I'm alright so **** the rest" attitude sucks. You epitomise the Celtic Tiger cub. And again, my disdain had nothing to do with jealousy.

Yea child labour because your parents are dead. A lollipop is all worth it. WTF is wrong with you?? :rolleyes:

If I was your Mam and knew you'd turn out to have that mindset I'd have left you on the Church doorstep in a bassinet.

You're 25, why are you speaking like you are in your 40s? You're a 'Celtic Tiger cub' too.