Kicked out at 18?

dsmythy

Maybe the age is a bit young, but i think the sentiment is correct. They could of waited until he completed college and then ask either for a fair rent in return or for him to find somewhere for himself. If they aren't attending college then 21 would probably be a better age to tell them to pay a rent to them like they would anywhere else or pay one to a landlord. Get out into the world. Experience your own life and become a proper man/woman.

Nobody is really entitled to anything. You should learn to look after yourself. People seem to think your man would struggle to survive in the outside world. If he hasn't got drug/alcohol/mental health issues his chances ending up sleeping on the streets are slim. Social welfare exists after all. Junkies and alcos will use their expendables for their addictions. A healthy person would use it to grow.

Adversity, after all, creates character. It's when you are struggling near the bottom that you truly find out your deepest self. But these days it seems you can live without looking to improve unlike in the past. People drift along in life ultra-protected from the world and when the world turns bad for them, and it will from time to time for everybody, they are utterly unprepared to deal with it. I'd be very interested in suicide figures which take into account a brief outline of people's lifepaths and upbringing, hard as it would be to collate such figures.

Mike 1972

o1s1n wrote: »

However I really don't agree with these self entitled working adults taking complete advantage and leeching off their parents because they are too afraid to face the world. Grow the **** up and pay your own way.

Are the parents not adults too ?

Are these kids holding a gun to their parents heads and forcing them to cook their dinner/make their bed/wipe their arse ?

And is it really any of your business ?

o1s1n

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Are the parents not adults too ?

Are these kids holding a gun to their parents heads and forcing them to cook their dinner/make their bed/wipe their arse ?

And is it really any of your business ?

Oooh, did I hit a nerve?

These 'children' are taking advantage of their parents good nature. Which is wrong. It doesn't matter if the parents are okay with it. Sometimes it's nice to say no.

And as for being my business, again, hit a nerve? I honestly couldn't care if it's my business or not. I still think it's pathetic.

Shelga

I've been following this thread for a while, and the attitudes of Lil Kitten and Jasiah Tall Whirlpool really annoy me. I'm a 22 year old student in my final year of college and was living at home until very recently.

Would it have made sense for me to move out when my college of choice is 6km from my family home? Yes, I could have moved out in theory, if I wanted to spend every free moment working, but I put logic before pride and stayed put. Oh but of course I deserve your pity and derision, just because I did something you didn't do.

Does your 21 year old friend know how you feel about his living at home? Your attitude of moral superiority and judgement is so tiresome. According to you, anyone who does not immediately up sticks and work in McDonalds for 30 hours a week as soon as they turn 18 in order to gain "independence" is to be looked down upon. You may say "if it works for them, fine, but I wouldn't do it" is not judgemental, but it reeks of pontification and condescension.

I hugely appreciate everything my parents did/do for me. As soon as I start earning, hopefully this summer, I plan to vacate home permanently. I'm annoyed that I even feel the need to justify myself to you. Perhaps because I'm already well aware of how lucky I am, and acknowledge it regularly to my parents. And I did work regularly throughout college, but I'm not going to spend ~€150 a week on accommodation just so I can be "independent", to the detriment of my studies.

Your generalisation of "Celtic Cubs" is also a little irksome- yes I am all too familiar with the D4 type you talk about, going to Trinity myself, but I take offence on behalf of my boyfrind when you say you've never met a privately schooled South Dublin person who doesn't realise how lucky they have it. He is from South Dublin and has worked very hard at a demanding degree and has just been offered a great job. He appreciates all his parents have done for him but worked hard to get where he is. Stop generalising, inverse snobbery is just as annoying as the real thing.

When I have children I plan to help them through college if they want it- of course if they decide the Leaving Cert is the end of their education, then they will be expected to get a job, pay rent etc. I don't think wanting my children to work hard at attaining a 3rd level qualification without having to worry about paying rent should be considered spoiling or pampering them. Just please stop judging everyone on your terms.

Someone earlier in the thread said you think if parents don't throw their children out at 18 then they are spoiling them rotten- it is so much more complicated than that. Not everything is a sblack and white as you seem to think, and I'm glad I try to be a bit more open-minded.

Mike 1972

o1s1n wrote: »

Oooh, did I hit a nerve?

Insofar as its any of your business (none at all actually) No

o1s1n wrote: »

These 'children' are taking advantage of their parents good nature. Which is wrong. .

You seem to have this bizzare black and white view of the world where its automatically assumed that anybody living under the same roof as their parents is living rent free and having their arse wiped for them while ignoring those living away from home who assume some kind of entitlement to parental help with rent/deposits/mortgage along with a big inheritance at the end of it all ?

o1s1n

o1s1n wrote: »

Not so much a failure as a pathetic twentysometing leech that's too afraid to cut the apron strings and leave Mammy's cooking and crisp washed clothes.

**** THAT tbh.

Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with turfing kids out when they reach a certain age. I'm sure if I ever had kids I'd be all for helping them as much as I can. Especially with college.

However I really don't agree with these self entitled working adults taking complete advantage and leeching off their parents because they are too afraid to face the world. Grow the **** up and pay your own way.

Looking for money from your parents for a mortgage/wedding? Arse. That's pathetic beyond belief.

Well when ya put it like that.. For the record I havnt got anythin of my parents in two years. Still workin my way through college loans.

o1s1n

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Insofar as its any of your business (none at all actually) No

I see a lot of 'it's none of your business' being thrown about. Which to me indicates some people are in this situation and taking some of the comments in this thread as a personal insult.

A large proportion of the threads on boards deal with issues that in reality would be none of anyones business. To say on thread, 'it's none of your business' on a general issue is just sillyness. All it does is show up someones insecurities on the subject.

But anyway -

Mike 1972 wrote: »

You seem to have this bizzare black and white view of the world where its automatically assumed that anybody living under the same roof as their parents is living rent free and having their arse wiped for them while ignoring those living away from home who assume some kind of entitlement to parental help with rent/deposits/mortgage along with a big inheritance at the end of it all ?

Straw man much?

Here's what I said as you don't seem to remember -

o1s1n wrote: »

However I really don't agree with these self entitled working adults taking complete advantage and leeching off their parents because they are too afraid to face the world. Grow the **** up and pay your own way.

Looking for money from your parents for a mortgage/wedding? Arse. That's pathetic beyond belief.

I never said I automatically asumed everyone living at home was in that situation. Now you're putting words in my mouth. If you're living at home and paying rent/helping out, fair enough. My comment was aimed at those manchildren who live at home with their folks, don't pay rent and don't contribute while working/in their twenties. While the whole time thinking they're entitled to that. It's sad.

Catari Jaguar

Yea, Shelga, that's exactly what me and Izzy were talking about :rolleyes:

You and your boyfriend appreciate you parents, then the comments don't apply to you. So stop getting all huffy. Wow, people just LOVE taking their insecurities out others.

spinandscribble

My parents have put me through college and I am in no way ashamed.

I couldn't claim support in the form of grants so why should i be left to fend completely for myself without aid from my family when kids who's parents have less then mine get a hand from the government? The way our society is laid out indicates parents who can afford to help you get through college, should.

I used to struggle with guilt over my parents luck and fortune and how they don't let me go without. Noones ever had to question do i know the value of money. I know i'm fortunate, thats great but i worked my ass off in college, then work and now back in college and i return the favour to my parents by doing my best. I often get the line from my parents "don't work so hard, enjoy yourself for a change". When i meet people who look down on me for not living on baked beans it makes me so angry and some of the stuck up attitudes on this thread certainly did hit a nerve for me.

Maybe when some of the begrudgers have children and are in a position to ease their children into the outside world with help with rent/food/expenses at college, they'll think twice. Or they'll be bitter and not use their surplus wealth to aid their family. Who knows.
There's a big difference between parents helping you through college and being a spoilt brat.

edit: for the people who had to fend for themselves completely, without state/family aid, I have the utmost respect but I do not believe if their life could have been easier then would not have accepted help.

Catari Jaguar

Shelga wrote: »

Your generalisation of "Celtic Cubs" is also a little irksome

Yes, I can see how this definition I gave that is used as a general guideline, and media term is a generaliastion and all encompassing of anyone born from 1980 onwards, including everyone on this thread that lives at home & is in college. :rolleyes:

lil kitten wrote:

No, I'm not. I was never spoiled. I missed that waste, greed and sense of entitlement that defines a cub.

You don't think like the above, then again, DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU.
Whereas if you do think like that, you need to cop the **** on a grow up, I'll stand by that.

The touchiness here needs to be toned down because it's really irritating

Shelga

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Yea, Shelga, that's exactly what me and Izzy were talking about :rolleyes:

You and your boyfriend appreciate you parents, then the comments don't apply to you. So stop getting all huffy. Wow, people just LOVE taking their insecurities out others.

If it's not what you were talking about, then why generalise so much? The kind of people you seem to be talking about- people in their late teens/early 20s who take, take, take off their parents while thinking they have every right to- really aren't as prevalent as you think, especially outside Dublin. What makes you think that all these people are so "ungrateful"?

And no one has said that people "should" live at home til they turn 23 (I think it was Jasiah Tall Whirlpool who was under the impression that this had been said). I just think that you are thinking in extremes, and no one thinks that the type of person you have in your head, however uncommon they might be, is a good thing.

spinandscribble

Shelga wrote: »

If it's not what you were talking about, then why generalise so much? The kind of people you seem to be talking about- people in their late teens/early 20s who take, take, take off their parents while thinking they have every right to- really aren't as prevalent as you think, especially outside Dublin. What makes you think that all these people are so "ungrateful"?

I wouldn't really know any true "celtic cubs" that have been described. Those who expect families to pay for aroun the world trips ect.
I'm sure they exist but maybe not many outside of dublin?

spinandscribble

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Yes, I can see how this definition I gave that is used as a general guideline, and media term is a generaliastion and all encompassing of anyone born from 1980 onwards, including everyone on this thread that lives at home & is in college. :rolleyes:



You don't think like the above, then again, DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU.
Whereas if you do think like that, you need to cop the **** on a grow up, I'll stand by that.

The touchiness here needs to be toned down because it's really irritating

Its also as irritating the tone you're taking with shelga, with the caps, emoicons ect so how about a draw?
I think the touchiness is caused by misunderstanding so lets all calm down and understand eachother without raising one another. This is a sensitive issue for some, myself included.

Catari Jaguar

spinandscribble wrote: »

I wouldn't really know any true "celtic cubs" that have been described. Those who expect families to pay for aroun the world trips ect.
I'm sure they exist but maybe not many outside of dublin?

Well the basis for Ross o Carroll Kelly wasn't plucked from thin air!


They're dying off now because the wealth is. They were all over the place a few years ago. Definitely all over Dublin. My friend & his wife got €1 million house in Dublin (got €700,000 towards it from his Mam). It's only worth half that now, poor suckers in negative equity. Not like they weren't warned by anyone, but they would only buy in SoCoDu. :rolleyes: They got the wedding paid for by her parents, had it in a castle, black tie only (!) and the registry from Brown Thomas...

My cousins went to fee paying colleges and got an apartment when they finished. Don't even appreciate it or realise what a boost to the rest of their life that is, one says "Well I had to pay a bit of rent to my mam like, so it's not as if it's free!". I asked one of my cousins if she expects her Dad to pay for her wedding "Well he paid for my sisters', he can pay for mine!" Same girl also wants at least 5 bedrooms in her house. She was working in House of Fraser, spending all her money on designer make up and handbags.

I teach with a girl from Kildare, she apparently has "no money". She lives at home and earning 36k a year. Had to get a loan to pay for half her trip to Oz for a year and saved the other half herself. Her Mam does EVERYTHING for her. Including forcing her to go to Mass and ringing looking for her when she's not home! She's back now, broke as fcuk and in debt, teaching, living back with her parents. She's 23!

There is no word of a lie there. So believe me, it happens.

And I don't give a **** if I sound moaney, "begrudging", judgemental or apparently "jealous" whatever.... If you can't see my POV then don't respond because we have absolutely nothing to say to each other.

Shelga

Lil Kitten wrote: »

If you can't see my POV then don't respond because we have absolutely nothing to say to each other.

Why are you on boards?

Catari Jaguar

Shelga wrote: »

And no one has said that people "should" live at home til they turn 23 (I think it was Jasiah Tall Whirlpool who was under the impression that this had been said).

Lane Raspy Mackerel has argued (wrongly) this many times during the thread. That your parents are responsible for you until you are 23 because you are apparently not an adult. I think he's confusing it with grants maybe?

If you can drink, get married, earn minimum wage, be tried as an adult etc etc etc at 18, then you're an adult!

Catari Jaguar

Shelga wrote: »

Why are you on boards?

Hahah! Not aimed at you!! I'm just sick of (the same few) posters that either don't have an utter clue what I'm saying or are misreading my comments and getting all defensive or attempting to line for line tear down my posts (failingly). You know how it is.

I think Iguana, Jasiah Tall Whirlpool, Prinz and O1s1n are saying roughly the same thing. Everyone else getting offended though.

Dudess

Isn't this talk of flash, spoiled Celtic Tiger Ireland moving quite a bit away from the original issue though? The kid who was kicked out could have been allowed to stay and - wait for it - still wouldn't have been an obnoxious Celtic Tiger cub.

Plus, not being spoilt and not being interested in flash stuff hardly warrants a medal. I've zero interest in expensive cars, big houses, designer clothes/shoes/handbags, expensive cosmetics/jewellery/household stuff/gadgets - never had. And I've worked since I was 16 and paid my way through college and never asked my parents for money. But I've still led a very comfortable life which would be considered one of extreme luxury by those in many parts of the world.

Fear Uladh

Dudess wrote: »

Isn't this talk of flash, spoiled Celtic Tiger Ireland moving quite a bit away from the original issue though? The kid who was kicked out could have been allowed to stay and - wait for it - still wouldn't have been an obnoxious Celtic Tiger cub.

Plus, not being spoilt and not being interested in flash stuff hardly warrants a medal. I've zero interest in expensive cars, big houses, designer clothes/shoes/handbags, expensive cosmetics/jewellery/household stuff/gadgets - never had. And I've worked since I was 16 and paid my way through college and never asked my parents for money. But I've still led a very comfortable life which would be considered one of extreme luxury by those in many parts of the world.

Agreed.

This thread should have been closed a long time ago as it has been blown out of proportion. I think regardless of how expensive a country is, what era it is or what time it is, I don't think it would ever be right to throw your own family onto the street without the means to support themselves. Especially when you can!

Catari Jaguar

I only mentioned Cubs in a throw away line reponding to a poster. It was the "his parents deserve a smack in the jaw, they're c**ts, if they wanted a life they shouldn't have had kids, I'd never speak to mine again, they're ****ed when they need a home" etc etc that made me link the horrible sense of entitlement and selfishness. As did other posters here.

I was shocked as well at somone saying they watch TV and get their dinner handed to them, someone else saying the get crisp laundry handed to them etc. I didn't see much of any chipping in or gratitude posted until recent posts from you, spinandscribble, shelga etc.

The "you're just jealous" and use of "begrudger" is how it got off track to saying, no maybe YOU feel that way about life, but some of us don't.

Shelga

Lil Kitten wrote: »

Too many people leaving home at 23 or so, after leeching through college

In fairness, you can see how some of your earlier comments might have been misconstrued by people like me and spinandscribble, compared to your more recent ones about adults expecting to borrow a million off their parents.

What's wrong with leaving home at 23? Nothing. The use of provocative words like "leeching" is bound to rub some people up the wrong way.

Going back to the OP, it seems you think it was ok for the parents to kick out an 18 year old, assuming he was relatively trouble-free. I guess that's where we disagree, not the "celtic cub" stuff.

Kasabian

To Lil Kitten , give it up , times are different , situation for this guy is fcuked up , no parent should put their child on the street no matter what the situation is , your a parent for life .

Fear Uladh

Lil Kitten wrote: »

I only mentioned Cubs in a throw away line reponding to a poster. It was the "his parents deserve a smack in the jaw, they're c**ts, if they wanted a life they shouldn't have had kids, I'd never speak to mine again, they're ****ed when they need a home" etc etc that made me link the horrible sense of entitlement and selfishness. As did other posters here.

I was shocked as well at somone saying they watch TV and get their dinner handed to them, someone else saying the get crisp laundry handed to them etc. I didn't see much of any chipping in or gratitude posted until recent posts from you, spinandscribble, shelga etc.

The "you're just jealous" and use of "begrudger" is how it got off track to saying, no maybe YOU feel that way about life, but some of us don't.

The OP didn't even mention any of these things in the first place, if a parent wants to do these things then that is their business, the argument is that the guys parents kicked him out without caring whether he was on the streets or not. The fact that the OP hasn't posted any reason leads me to suspect that it is a load of cack anyway. The fact remains that if a parent tells their child at 15 that whether they make it in life or not is not their problem, its a disturbing lack of humanity and they had no right to have children in the first place.

Would you honestly do that to your child just to teach him/her a lesson?

No you wouldn't, because in previous posts you indicated you would be there for him/her financially. It has nothing to do with twenty somethings who leech, I agree as much as anyone they need to be taught the basics of taking care of yourself.

I think the problem is that there are 3 different angles here -
the OP's of being thrown out no mercy no nothing
Not being thrown out but encouraged to stand on your own feet whether that's at home paying rent or moving out
Leeching like "tiger cubs" or whatever it is

I think the latter two are being confused in some of these posts...

Shelga

Shelga wrote: »

I've been following this thread for a while, and the attitudes of Lil Kitten and Jasiah Tall Whirlpool really annoy me. I'm a 22 year old student in my final year of college and was living at home until very recently.

Sure, twist my words. I never said no-one should stay at home during college, even when it makes sense. I said no-one should EXPECT to. No-one's parents should feel they HAVE to support their adult kids through college. Big difference there. I said I personally don't understand why I would be pitied for having to cook my own dinner or wash my own clothes when I in fact would feel more sorry for someone living at home who had less freedom. That's a personal opinion. If I didn't think that, I'd have commuted to college. Both living away and living at home have their pros and cons. I'd gladly give up homemade apple pie for my independence. Sorry if I touched a nerve.

Would it have made sense for me to move out when my college of choice is 6km from my family home? Yes, I could have moved out in theory, if I wanted to spend every free moment working, but I put logic before pride and stayed put. Oh but of course I deserve your pity and derision, just because I did something you didn't do.

TBH I couldn't care less what you do. If you tried to do the whole 'I feel so sorry for you having to do X, Y, Z for yourself', like a certain poster did, then yes, it would get my back up a bit. Most of my college friends who lived at home were constantly saying stuff to those who didn't, stuff like 'oh I'd hate to have to go home and cook' or 'I'm so glad my mam still washes and irons all my clothes'. It just came across as a defense mechanism, as if they were trying to convince THEMSELVES that they weren't missing out on college life by living at home.

Does your 21 year old friend know how you feel about his living at home? Your attitude of moral superiority and judgement is so tiresome. According to you, anyone who does not immediately up sticks and work in McDonalds for 30 hours a week as soon as they turn 18 in order to gain "independence" is to be looked down upon. You may say "if it works for them, fine, but I wouldn't do it" is not judgemental, but it reeks of pontification and condescension.

All his mates are constantly telling him it's time to move out. He's not some sensitive flower, he feels himself that it's time he should soon be getting his own place and independence after living at home throughout his undergrad. He openly admits that it's cheaper to stay put but that he's very restricted by his parents. He thinks himself that he's missing out on a lot by living at home. He's always complaining about his lack of sex life cos he has nowhere to take girls. It isn't some big taboo. He's not going on and on about how living at home is wonderful cos his mammy does his washing. He knows there are pros and cons and he isn't stupid enough to think anyone would have any reason to be jealous. He's chosen not to move out because the disadvantages outweigh the advantages right now but he can totally understand why the rest of us have.

I hugely appreciate everything my parents did/do for me. As soon as I start earning, hopefully this summer, I plan to vacate home permanently. I'm annoyed that I even feel the need to justify myself to you. Perhaps because I'm already well aware of how lucky I am, and acknowledge it regularly to my parents. And I did work regularly throughout college, but I'm not going to spend ~€150 a week on accommodation just so I can be "independent", to the detriment of my studies.

So why so defensive? I'm not talking about you. I never said people shouldn't live at home during college. I'm saying they shouldn't *expect* to and that I find it a very Irish thing to *expect* your parents to either keep you or give you money to go to college somewhere else. What I do have a problem with is scrounging - living at home while having a well paid job so you can save for holidays. You are not doing this.

Your generalisation of "Celtic Cubs" is also a little irksome- yes I am all too familiar with the D4 type you talk about, going to Trinity myself, but I take offence on behalf of my boyfrind when you say you've never met a privately schooled South Dublin person who doesn't realise how lucky they have it. He is from South Dublin and has worked very hard at a demanding degree and has just been offered a great job. He appreciates all his parents have done for him but worked hard to get where he is. Stop generalising, inverse snobbery is just as annoying as the real thing.

I obviously haven't met your boyfriend then. Yes, I am generalising but it's largely true, IMO.

I am open in saying that my view is probably skewed by the type of South Dubliners who get grinds and who have no learning difficulty or other issue - they tend to be lazy, unfocused and unappreciative. I mean, how on earth can you be of reasonable intelligence, attend a top fee paying school with all the facilities you can imagine and still be failing pass papers? There was nothing wrong with the students' ability to learn, they were just bone idle for the most part. A few had parents who made them pay for their own grinds (out of their 100 quid a week allowance, of course), and it was amazing how focused they suddenly became. It was just so eye-opening, the sense of entitlement most of these kids had. They were acting like they were doing their parents a favour by getting the grinds. My parents would have told me I was welcome to fail all my exams and spend my life in McDonald's. All the mollycoddling just creates monsters, IMO. These are the type of people who stay at home while working as accountants, living off their parents while they save for 'fun' stuff.

When I have children I plan to help them through college if they want it- of course if they decide the Leaving Cert is the end of their education, then they will be expected to get a job, pay rent etc. I don't think wanting my children to work hard at attaining a 3rd level qualification without having to worry about paying rent should be considered spoiling or pampering them. Just please stop judging everyone on your terms.

No-one is saying otherwise.

Someone earlier in the thread said you think if parents don't throw their children out at 18 then they are spoiling them rotten- it is so much more complicated than that. Not everything is a sblack and white as you seem to think, and I'm glad I try to be a bit more open-minded.

Of course it is. I said earlier that it was incredibly harsh to let your kid become homeless, unless the kid had done something terrible to deserve it. But there are a lot of parents who expect their kids to be independent at 18. It isn't as farfetched and ridiculous as some people here seem to think it is and it's not necessarily 'mean'. In some ways it's as bad to coddle and pamper adult kids than it is to make them stand on their own two feet.

I personally do not understand how someone in their twenties (after college) would not be embarrassed constantly taking money off their parents for stuff. I know a girl who's 24 and her parents still pay all her rent and grocery costs even though she works. So what if they offer? It doesn't mean you have to take it. Choosing to be independent rather than just take handouts shows a stronger character, IMO. Anyone can just keep taking and taking - how is that making them into a well rounded person? I think earning your own money and supporting yourself IS an important part of becoming an adult. I would feel a lot more satisfaction buying a new coat with the money I earned in my part time job than the money daddy puts into my account each month.

Shelga

I didn't mean to sound defensive in my first post- this topic clearly has brought out my sense of guilt/insecurity/whatever about living at home! It's just that I already am extremely aware of how lucky I am, and as a result am perhaps more sensitive to this topic than others.

Izzy, I agree with what you've said for the most part, and I also think that anyone who continues to take from their parents after college, or after school if they don't attend college, needs a reality check. I don't know why people refer to rent as "dead money"- I can think of no better way to spend my money in a few months!

I didn't "expect" to be allowed to live at home when I started college; that's not the right word, but I would have been extremely surprised and a little hurt if my parents had told me after my Leaving that they wanted me to move out and would in no way support me. I think the reason a lot of people make it through college is because of the support of their family. Sure, if you want it enough you can do it on your own, but it's not the reality for most college students, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

WhenI mentioned my boyfriend it was just an example of a privately-schooled SoCoDu person who has his head in the sand- I think the grinds culture is a joke and I disagree with private schools in principle. It's something we argue about a lot

I suppose my main point is that just because your parents help you out through college, it doesn't mean you have no appreciation of the value of money- sometimes the opposite. I mean, if you were living in America and had to pay ~$40k a year in fees (I'm assuming a person like you wouldn't qualify for financial aid due to your family situation), I think you'll agree it would be a hell of a lot more difficult to 100% support yourself. Hence, US students whose parents earn above a certain threshold really have no choice but to accept their parents' help, should they be generous enough to offer it. I'm sure these same students, or the vast majority of them, know how much is at stake and apply themselves as a result.

The system has similarities here- as someone mentioned earlier, if your parents earn above a certain amount, you are not entitled to a grant. Why do parents come into it at all? Because society in general expects that parents will pay some of the cost of educating their children, even though of course at 18 a person is an adult.

But I do think kicking your child out at 18 is quite mean!

(And I agree that comparing the cost of living in London to living in Dublin is ridiculous...)

goat2

Shelga wrote: »

I didn't mean to sound defensive in my first post- this topic clearly has brought out my sense of guilt/insecurity/whatever about living at home! It's just that I already am extremely aware of how lucky I am, and as a result am perhaps more sensitive to this topic than others.

Izzy, I agree with what you've said for the most part, and I also think that anyone who continues to take from their parents after college, or after school if they don't attend college, needs a reality check. I don't know why people refer to rent as "dead money"- I can think of no better way to spend my money in a few months!

I didn't "expect" to be allowed to live at home when I started college; that's not the right word, but I would have been extremely surprised and a little hurt if my parents had told me after my Leaving that they wanted me to move out and would in no way support me. I think the reason a lot of people make it through college is because of the support of their family. Sure, if you want it enough you can do it on your own, but it's not the reality for most college students, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

WhenI mentioned my boyfriend it was just an example of a privately-schooled SoCoDu person who has his head in the sand- I think the grinds culture is a joke and I disagree with private schools in principle. It's something we argue about a lot

I suppose my main point is that just because your parents help you out through college, it doesn't mean you have no appreciation of the value of money- sometimes the opposite. I mean, if you were living in America and had to pay ~$40k a year in fees (I'm assuming a person like you wouldn't qualify for financial aid due to your family situation), I think you'll agree it would be a hell of a lot more difficult to 100% support yourself. Hence, US students whose parents earn above a certain threshold really have no choice but to accept their parents' help, should they be generous enough to offer it. I'm sure these same students, or the vast majority of them, know how much is at stake and apply themselves as a result.

The system has similarities here- as someone mentioned earlier, if your parents earn above a certain amount, you are not entitled to a grant. Why do parents come into it at all? Because society in general expects that parents will pay some of the cost of educating their children, even though of course at 18 a person is an adult.

But I do think kicking your child out at 18 is quite mean!

(And I agree that comparing the cost of living in London to living in Dublin is ridiculous...)

my take on being a parent is, you are a parent until you die, not until someone reaches 18, that is, then if like me you had a child with an illness who at the age of 21 was gravely ill, needing alot of care, should i leave him/ her just swing their oar, or should i take care of my child, the same thing can be said for the offspring who need a leg up, a bit of help with finding their feet, my kids have worked hard to put themselves through college, working weekends and holidays, every penny going twoards college, then when things were going bad at least they knew to ring home, because after all
where else can they turn, maybe drug supply or selling their bodies to make ends meet,
18 is too young to tell someone, that you are no longer willing to be their parent, and from here on out you have no family

Tail Wagger

Lane Raspy Mackerel wrote: »

So you were like a lot of teenagers. Parents are cnuts, end of...



No excuses to make your own child homeless.



The state defines an adult as being over 23. Technically, you are dependant on your parents until this age.



They sure do, but you would have to be some piece of shít to kick out your child.



I am sure you would be able to live on 100 a week, right? :rolleyes:

This is next to impossible to do on social welfare at his age.



You can speak for yourself and nobody else here.



It's extremely difficult for young people to get on the property ladder. There is nothing wrong with having the initiative to buy your own home, even if it means living with your parents to save fora deposit.



Jealous? You married? Restricted to the registrary office and a cocktail sausages back in the local for your reception?



Raised him, then fcuked him out when he was 18 with no house or support. Respect? They need a good slap in the jaw, the both of his parents.



And? What's your point exactly?



Generalise much?



Have you done it? Probably not. Do you begrudge them this because you couldn't go?



So? Why are you so jealous of these people, the relationship they have with their parents and the things they have done?



Pretty shítty arguement to be honest. Differant times. Why are plenty of people able to see the world in their 20's? Because we fcuking can. Our parents didn't get that chance, but that's not my fcuking problem.



They want the best of both worlds, if it's such a problem, don't have kids.



It's a pretty funny threat actually, and one that should be enforced more than it is.



So did a lot of people back then. That was the norm, your dad and all his friends are not special cases.



That's tough shít really, now we have the infrastructure to deal with this sort of thing.



Well there is now, and it's great...



A job most kids would kill for.




We had a lot when we grew up, it was great. We are not used to what it was like back in the 50's and 60's, you cannot compare the two eras as most things are completely different.

We can all see you spent a lot of time editing your post and I admire your, effort, but are people no allowed their opinion. these kid's as they are being referred to as, would buy and sell you me and the rest of us. I'm sure most of these posters with opinions are of that age and might have experienced these child/adults at some stage.

brendansmith

lonad wrote: »

your a parent for life .

One love
One life
One parent
Peace!
Respect!

me-skywalker

Most kids finish school at 17 and go to college at 17/18... If a kid you know or your yourself were kicked out with no money you (1) struggle to find able to afford a place to live and pay for college. While (2) If survival was your only option you wouldnt think about college and look straight for full-time job, but with no place to live woudl be harder to get.... etc etc you see where im goign with this...

Its a harsh world people should wake the fck up and cop on! the civility amongst the classes has been lowered with the increasing modern age mentality of selfishness and the severe lack of any altruistic touch being taught to kids.