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Kicked out at 18?

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  • #62
    seanybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,898 ✭✭✭✭seanybiker


    thank fook my parents didnt do it anyways. Im 27 in a week or two and still at home lol. Cant beat the mammies cooking.


  • #63
    cleremy jarkson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 542 ✭✭✭cleremy jarkson


    Lane Raspy Mackerel wrote: »
    It surely does...

    why?

    I know that the likelihood is that we will always have it easier than our grandparents did, anyway. But why should we be entitled to it, just because we have been brought up to expect it?


  • #64
    Fear Uladh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 810 ✭✭✭Fear Uladh


    BroomBurner wrote: »
    The guy could have been any sort of nasty individual, stealing money, breaking sh*t, etc. We don't know the reasons behind it, before anyone else comes out with their holier-than-thou "parents are dickheads" routine.

    What if he was a danger to other siblings?

    Also, he was told at 15 he'd be out, says a lot about him that he couldn't get some sort of plan in to action over the 3 years before the due date. If he knew his parents (i.e. wasn't too self-involved), then he would have known they were serious. His own fault.

    How about instead of threatening to kick him out, they got him help? Being told at 15 by your own parents that you will be out the door at 18 wouldn't exactly help his self esteem especially at that age. The OP said that his parents were well to do, even if the guy had to move out there is no reason to leave him out on the street.


  • #65
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    cleremy jarkson wrote: »
    why?
    Because it would be pretty shit to take a boy out of school at 12 and send him to work as a labourer's aide/send a girl over to England at 15 to work "in service" when it's not necessary today?


  • #66
    BrokenArrows
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,538 ✭✭✭BrokenArrows


    darkman2 wrote: »
    I know a guy that was kicked out of his (very nice) house at 18. His parents told him that come 18 he was out whether he had a roof over his head or not (he told me this at 15 or 16). 18 and he was gone (no roof). And so he was. Don't know what happened to the guy except that the parents were as good as their word. What do you think? Is it a rough to be kind type situation or a bastardly situation?


    TBH I wish I was kicked out at 18 - it would have thought me a thing or two very bloody quick!

    To be fair he could have just been a total wanker of a kid and the parents had enough. They were fulfilling their legal obligation till he was 18.


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  • #67
    cleremy jarkson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 542 ✭✭✭cleremy jarkson


    Pittens wrote: »
    You know whats changed - you are in the biggest recession ever. By ever I mean worse than the Eighties. Worse than the fifties. Unemployment is where it was in 1992 when 70,000 people left the country, many of them under the age of 20 ( most of them in their twenties). The "times have changed" thing is malarky. Yes it has. It has gotten worse. The much maligned Eighties had one year of recession.

    Living standards in Ireland at the minute are higher than in the eighties and much much higher than in the fifties. I must be one of the few young people who didn't roll my eyes listening to Bill Cullen on the Frontline the other night when he talked sense that our generation don't want to hear.


  • #68
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,018 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    Pittens wrote: »
    You know whats changed - you are in the biggest recession ever. By ever I mean worse than the Eighties. Worse than the fifties.

    Worse than the thirties ?????

    Lets not loose the run of ourselves here


  • #69
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    darkman2 wrote: »
    TBH I wish I was kicked out at 18 - it would have thought me a thing or two very bloody quick!
    You do in your hole! :pac:


  • #70
    cleremy jarkson
    Closed Accounts Posts: 542 ✭✭✭cleremy jarkson


    Dudess wrote: »
    Because it would be pretty shit to take a boy out of school at 12 and send him to work as a labourer's aide/send a girl over to England at 15 to work "in service" when it's not necessary today?

    Good point..

    Still though, do you think that people nowadays, myself and yourself probably included, tend to not realise how good we have it? I know we probably can't help it but it seems some people are absolutely ignorant to this and think that their lives are horrible when they don't have enough money to go out at the weekend or buy an outfit.


  • #71
    BroomBurner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,737 ✭✭✭BroomBurner


    Dudess wrote: »
    Absolutely. The OP has given us no indication whatsoever of the above though.

    I really think posts like this are just going against the grain for the sake of it - by people who didn't have the same experience as this lad. He was a KID. What would your plan of action have been at his age?
    Also, the fact he was given three years indicates he wasn't a troublemaker - if he was getting involved in all sorts of dodgy stuff and was a horrible brat, then his kicking-out wouldn't have been so premeditated.

    Not going against the grain for the sake of it at all. Perhaps his parents told him to sort his life out, cop on or he's on his own at 18. Perhaps they did help him as much as they possibly could. I was making the point that he had 3 years to sort this out, if it was the case.

    As you said, the OP left out some very vital details. However, I do believe that parents can do this if they want. It might not be nice, but they have no obligation to continue caring for someone that is capable of looking after themselves.

    Plenty of people leave home at 18, either to work or go to college, or both. If they can organise themselves, I don't see why this lad couldnt.


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  • #72
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Mike 1972 wrote: »
    Worse than the thirties ?????

    Lets not loose the run of ourselves here
    Yeah, people who say "recession me hole" (and have jobs) are awful, but my god... I thought the big, three-storey pub I was in last night was going to burst. It was beyond uncomfortably packed. And there's a rake of new shops in the centre of Cork. There's a recession no doubt, but still a high standard of living, and still a fair bit of money.


  • #73
    Fear Uladh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 810 ✭✭✭Fear Uladh


    I'm getting really fed up with people comparing generations here. It doesn't bloody matter what decade or era we live in, there is nothing to justify leaving your son or daughter on the street when you have the means to help them.


  • #74
    tipperaryboy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 956 ✭✭✭tipperaryboy


    He probably was causing the parents a lot of trouble.why else would they kick him out maybe they were beyond mean.


  • #75
    Mike 1972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,018 ✭✭✭Mike 1972


    Chillaxe wrote: »
    I'm getting really fed up with people comparing generations here. It doesn't bloody matter what decade or era we live in,

    Too right.

    I mean in my day the little bugger would have been out working eighteen hour days in a cotton mill/coal mine/sweeping chimneys from the age of ten until he was old enough (14) to lie about his age and enlist for the trenches.

    Didnt do me any harm I tell ye :rolleyes:


  • #76
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,909 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    Lane Raspy Mackerel wrote: »
    How much pride, independence and responsibility would you get for your 100 euro? Not a lot I would expect.

    The maximum dole in the UK for an adult is under £65 a week, and people manage just fine on that. Even in London which is as, if not more, expensive than anywhere in Ireland.

    People in Ireland display a disgusting, disgusting sense of entitlement. I didn't point out that my parents married as young as they did in order to say we should too, but in order to point out that people of that age have been living the lives of responsible adults for generations.

    There is nothing wrong with waiting until longer to take on that level of responsibility and having fun in your late teens/twenties. But there is a HELL of a lot wrong with doing that at the expense of your parents. The only reason people of my generation and younger were able to live the cushy lives they did is because their parents made it possible, to their own detriment. That's horrible, really really selfish and mean, to the people who've given you everything.


  • #77
    Trent Rich Tongs
    Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭ Trent Rich Tongs


    Well, given the choice between being kicked out vs scrounging at home while mammy does all the cooking cleaning laundry so you're completely unable to stand on your own until you find some poor unfortunate to become a substitute mammy for you...

    that said such a kick out is very extreme, at least they could help him find somewhere etc and be supportive about it


  • #78
    Sheeps
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,763 ✭✭✭Sheeps


    I hope he wasn't planning on going to college or anything, because that would suck. I'm 23 and living at home because I can't afford my own place on top of college. I finance myself through college every year by working a part time job, but if I were to factor in rent on top of this I'd need to be working full time at my job which just isn't viable.

    While I wish it were viable to work a part time job and have those wages support a week in college and rent, it simply can't be done and cutting someone off at 18 like that is very harsh. I'd imagine the average age that people leave home has dramatically increased over the last 10 years.


  • #79
    uriah
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 361 ✭✭uriah


    brummytom wrote: »
    Wow, his parents are cunts

    Yours must be very proud of you.

    Interesting to see the number of posters who think 18 is too young to leave home, that parents should be prepared to support adult offspring beyond the age of 18. I would have thought that any normal eighteen year old would be anxious to leave home and become independent, live his/her own life. It must be very difficult to be eighteen, living at home and living by someone else's houserules.

    Are these 'stay-at-home -with-mammy-and-dady 'adults prepared to live by parents' rules? To contribute?

    These parents have supported this MAN for eighteen years. No mention of child neglect or cruelty. They have given him eighteen years of care. Now they think they should be able to get on with their own lives and that he should get on with living his.

    And you call them c**ts?


  • #80
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,193 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    uriah wrote: »
    Yours must be very proud of you.

    Interesting to see the number of posters who think 18 is too young to leave home, that parents should be prepared to support adult offspring beyond the age of 18. I would have thought that any normal eighteen year old would be anxious to leave home and become independent, live his/her own life. It must be very difficult to be eighteen, living at home and living by someone else's houserules.

    Are these 'stay-at-home -with-mammy-and-dady 'adults prepared to live by parents' rules? To contribute?

    These parents have supported this MAN for eighteen years. No mention of child neglect or cruelty. They have given him eighteen years of care. Now they think they should be able to get on with their own lives and that he should get on with living his.

    And you call them c**ts?

    Parenting doesn't stop at 18. I love how 18 is this magical number which we all suddenly become rich, educated and have houses.


  • #81
    iguana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,909 ✭✭✭✭iguana


    IvySlayer wrote: »
    Parenting doesn't stop at 18. I love how 18 is this magical number which we all suddenly become rich, educated and have houses.

    No, but we become adults with all the rights and responsibilities that entails.


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  • #82
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,193 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    iguana wrote: »
    No, but we become adults with all the rights and responsibilities that entails.

    Young adults. Most 18 year olds are still doing their Leaving Cert. Very stressful. Then they go on to college/wherever to get qualifications.


  • #83
    uriah
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 361 ✭✭uriah


    IvySlayer wrote: »
    Parenting doesn't stop at 18. I love how 18 is this magical number which we all suddenly become rich, educated and have houses.

    No. It's the age (or thereabouts) when you leave home and start to work towards achieving all those things. It is the next stage in working towards independence, which you will never experience living in security with Mom and Dad.

    The rest of your education, the riches and the house you will have to acquire on your own. It's what being a grown-up means.


  • #84
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,193 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    uriah wrote: »
    No. It's the age (or thereabouts) when you leave home and start to work towards achieving all those things. It is the next stage in working towards independence, which you will never experience living in security with Mom and Dad.

    The rest of your education, the riches and the house you will have to acquire on your own. It's what being a grown-up means.

    Work at 18? You obviously have no clue then. Most jobs nowadays require the Leaving Cert as a minimum. Most 18 year olds are still doing it. Have you any idea of rent prices/cost of getting a mortgage? You need a decent pay from a good job, and getting a good job requires....qualifications. That's 2/3 years of college, minimum.


  • #85
    IvySlayer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,193 ✭✭✭✭IvySlayer


    iguana wrote: »
    No, but we become adults with all the rights and responsibilities that entails.

    There is nothing in the law saying that adults have to be living in their own houses and having a job.


  • #86
    laoisman11
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,067 ✭✭✭laoisman11


    It's common in the antipodes to be kicked out at 18, I remember having a "discussion" with a colleague in NZ who intended to kick-out all her kids once they reached 18 so that her and her husband could "enjoy" life. Apparently, all +18 kids in Ireland are "immature", because they might return home for weekends while they are in college or while they are working.


  • #87
    Pittens
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,404 ✭✭✭Pittens


    Parenting doesn't stop at 18. I love how 18 is this magical number which we all suddenly become rich, educated and have houses.

    Parenting does stop. Your parents being your parents does not stop. What should stop in mammy making you any meals - except on the few occasions you may come back from a job to visit, and then because you are a visitor.

    Apparently, all +18 kids in Ireland are "immature", because they might return home for weekends while they are in college or while they are working.

    The rest of the world would be appalled at the general sentiment on this thread.

    EDIT:

    except Italy.


  • #88
    Pittens
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,404 ✭✭✭Pittens


    That's 2/3 years of college, minimum.

    Lol. In most of the rest of the world college students leave home.


  • #89
    brummytom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    uriah wrote: »
    Yours must be very proud of you.
    They are, thanks.

    These parents have supported this MAN for eighteen years. No mention of child neglect or cruelty. They have given him eighteen years of care. Now they think they should be able to get on with their own lives and that he should get on with living his.

    And you call them c**ts?

    Yes, I do.


  • #90
    Anthony16
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 608 ✭✭✭Anthony16


    uriah wrote: »
    Yours must be very proud of you.

    Interesting to see the number of posters who think 18 is too young to leave home, that parents should be prepared to support adult offspring beyond the age of 18. I would have thought that any normal eighteen year old would be anxious to leave home and become independent, live his/her own life. It must be very difficult to be eighteen, living at home and living by someone else's houserules.

    Are these 'stay-at-home -with-mammy-and-dady 'adults prepared to live by parents' rules? To contribute?

    These parents have supported this MAN for eighteen years. No mention of child neglect or cruelty. They have given him eighteen years of care. Now they think they should be able to get on with their own lives and that he should get on with living his.

    And you call them c**ts?

    Im 18 and live at home,and its gr8.Free and delicious home cooked meals while watching tv is just one of the advantages.I dont have that many rules to obide by,tbh.
    However,once september comes round,im out and off to vet college in UCD,so i know it wont last forever but ill savour it for now:D


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  • #91
    uriah
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 361 ✭✭uriah


    IvySlayer wrote: »
    Work at 18? You obviously have no clue then. Most jobs nowadays require the Leaving Cert as a minimum. Most 18 year olds are still doing it. Have you any idea of rent prices/cost of getting a mortgage? You need a decent pay from a good job, and getting a good job requires....qualifications. That's 2/3 years of college, minimum.

    I know all about it. Rental accommodation is readily available and relatively cheap. Work to pay for yourself through college like many have done and many continue to do, Work hard at your studies and you will have decent qualification to get that good job. Travel. I will make you even more independent and broaden your mind.

    Sometime in the distant future, you may decide to buy a house if you have worked hard enough to be able to afford it. Nothing wrong with renting all your life.

    Give your parents a break. They have supported you for eighteen years. It's your own turn now.


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