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Best/worst/weirdest chat up lines

McChubbin

In the spirit of this dubious day of consumerism, let's all offer up the best/worst/ downright weirdest pickup lines you've heard of.

I'll start the ball rolling with one I've never actually used:
"You melt my chocolate!"

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Piriz

is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?
she said; im not wearing tights, its a scar from when i was stabbed during a sexual assault:eek:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpttKzgZ7yU&feature=channel

dublin 16 lad

Hi have you ever been to India?

Cause I want to get it into ya!

thetonynator

mendusa wrote: »

Would you like to dance?

Can I buy you a drink?

Not at all original!!!!

Here's one: I've lost my treasure, can I look at your chest???

dublin 16 lad

Any chance of sex?

magma69

Very nice! How much?

Works a charm.

Closed ac

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talkin' to you.

Bonito

Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
Her: "What? I smell?
Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek

jd007

NOW!

Closed ac

Bonito wrote: »

Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
Her: "What? I smell?
Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek

Jeez, that's a bit much, all we want is some ass?

Bonito

DKZ wrote: »

Jeez, that's a bit much, all we want is some ass?

Well I didn't go home alone that night

In fact, I didn't go home at all

Atavan-Halen

Bonito wrote: »

Well I didn't go home alone that night In fact, I didn't go home at all

You spent a night in the hospital after a severe kick to the groin didn't you

tony1kenobi

Best chat up line ever is:

"Hi,I'm Bruce Willis"

But it only works for Bruce Willis.

Best chat up line I ever heard:

"Do you ****?"

Dude only needed one girl to say yes,and one did.

Bonito

atavan-halen wrote: »

You spent a night in the hospital after a severe kick to the groin didn't you

NO

/yes

ch252

I have some tragic news, my cock died. Can I bury it in your ass?

60% of the time, works everytime:p

Westwood

two friends at the bar, one bowler one good looking the usual. approach the fat bowler and ask her would she like to dance. she replies ''id love to'' well fcuk off and do so I can talk to your mate!!!

sesna

Midnight_EG wrote: »

Your dick isn't a bone :cool:

The humerus is though

epgc3fyqirnbsx

I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the keys

Ferris_Bueller

Roses are red,
Weeds are green,
I love your legs,
and whats in between

McChubbin

Ferris_Bueller wrote: »

Roses are red,
Weeds are green,
I love your legs,
and whats in between

Roses are red,
Violets are blue....

....I'll f'uck you with a rake.

Capt'n Midnight

no ones mentioned this classic

Nice shoes.
Wanna Fúck ?

ddef

"What do you say we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex... You know, see what happens"

Lockstep

Hey baby, my name isn't Jesus, but the size of it is a miracle and you don't have to wait until the third day for it to rise again.

Midnight_EG

kickoutthejams wrote: »

Hey baby, my name isn't Jesus, but the size of it is a miracle and you don't have to wait until the third day for it to rise again.

Your ego?

Midnight_EG

sesna wrote: »

The humerus is though

Hence the whole funny bone thing :P

Gone West

Bonito wrote: »

Me:"Sorry what perfume are you wearing, it smells very nice?"
Her: "What? I smell?
Me: "No, what's your perfume it's nice?"
Her: "Oh, it's addict by Dior"
Me: "I think I'm addicted already" While placing hand on small of her back (not too high and not too low) and giving her a kiss on the cheek

Thats not a chat up line, your "punchline" depended on her answer. Unless you knew what she would say. Either way I am so embarrassed for you :pac:

Theres the XKCD pickup gag (which technically isnt a chat up line either!)
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/psychic.png

only works 1% of the time

Bonito

el judìo wrote: »

Thats not a chat up line, your "punchline" depended on her answer. Unless you knew what she would say. Either way I am so jealous of you :pac:

Fixed that

dylano_k

Its 2.25, im your last chance of a shag tonight love...

[Deleted User]

"You know how I know we're gonna make love tonight?... Because I'm stronger than you."

Alan_007_

Are you a chicken farmer? Cos you sure know how to raise a cock.

Are you a computer expert? Cos you've just turned my software into hardware.

Darksaga87

Wanna go halfs on a bastard?