your worst dates/sex/relationships etc..... Ladies & Lads!

ibanez777vbk · 19-05-2009 08:06PM

obviously most of the women here have been out with dick heads and havent had a nice bloke

Melange · 19-05-2009 08:23PM

ibanez777vbk wrote: »

obviously most of the women here have been out with dick heads and havent had a nice bloke

I'm sure they have, they're just recounting tales of the worst guys they've experienced, that's all.

ibanez777vbk · 19-05-2009 08:26PM

Melange wrote: »

I'm sure they have, they're just recounting tales of the worst guys they've experienced, that's all.

must have been some bad experiance's theres 105 pages worth lol

think that accounts for every man in ireland

pikachucheeks · 19-05-2009 08:35PM

ibanez777vbk wrote: »

.if i chat up a girl and she says ahhh no thanks mate (not often its happend) im off and just go n talk to someone else,ssshhhh theres plenty women out to talk to why bother with someone who isnt interested ????? beats me.

I know, it's a bit mad!

I think some people enjoy the aspect of trying to 'win over' someone!
Like, getting someone who's acting not interested to like them!

Personally, I'd make like you and take the hint!

I'll cut a long story short with this next one;

I hooked up with a guy from the students' union in my college.
Seemed like a nice guy. We had a row earlier in the year and he'd spent months trying to make it up to me and trying to prove himself.
So, I eventually gave in and we kissed. Just after, he said to me
"What's your student number?"
"Why do you ask?"
"So I can cross you off my list!"

... Both pigish and genius at the same time!

taram · 19-05-2009 09:17PM

Had very bad date last week, tried for the first time to cook an omlette since my OH loves them, I've cooked full sunday dinners from scratch without a hiccup, I burnt the pan and the eggs. And meanwhile, about 2 meters from me, the romantic candle I had lit to put on the table had tipped over, setting the RTE guide on fire, then part of the curtain.

OH came in the door to find no dinner, a horrible smell and me nearly in tears. We ended up just going to sleep early!

shellyboo · 20-05-2009 09:54AM

Khannie wrote: »

Also...holy crap! Men are assholes!

Yeah, but women are *mental*. So we're even.

ibanez777vbk · 20-05-2009 10:00AM

Melange wrote: »

I'm sure they have, they're just recounting tales of the worst guys they've experienced, that's all.

ok heres a tale about a girl i lived with years ago when i was 17,i used to look after her kids wash them feed them cloth them ect ect while she was out sleeping around with loads of blokes,and you say just blokes are a.s.s.h.o.l.e.s women can be just as bad ya know,that experiance hasnt left me bitter as i know not everyone is the same,just remember that women are just as bad as blokes,that you better beleive mrs

battser · 20-05-2009 10:20AM

My story is nowhere near anything as bad as what Ive been reading however

I was 17 with my GF of the time about 6 or 7 months! I am very open minded and at the time was wanting to see what all the fuss was about with a few things sexually!! ya know urself

So we are fooling around and I ask her for a BJ!! I know you shud never ask (but I was young and I learnt my lesson! :rolleyes: )

I ask her anyway and she starts to ball out crying saying "I cant believe you asked me that I hate the thought of even doing it". SO Im left standing there feeling very awkward and very guilty for making her cry thinking WTF! WE BREAK UP a week later!!!

shellyboo · 20-05-2009 11:18AM

battser wrote: »

I was 17 with my GF of the time about 6 or 7 months! I am very open minded and at the time was wanting to see what all the fuss was about with a few things sexually!! ya know urself

So we are fooling around and I ask her for a BJ!! I know you shud never ask (but I was young and I learnt my lesson! :rolleyes: )

I ask her anyway and she starts to ball out crying saying "I cant believe you asked me that I hate the thought of even doing it". SO Im left standing there feeling very awkward and very guilty for making her cry thinking WTF! WE BREAK UP a week later!!!

Dude, if you don't ask you might not get :P

I get where she was coming from though, she was only young! Can be kind of a scary prospect.

ibanez777vbk · 20-05-2009 11:23AM

battser wrote: »

My story is nowhere near anything as bad as what Ive been reading however

I was 17 with my GF of the time about 6 or 7 months! I am very open minded and at the time was wanting to see what all the fuss was about with a few things sexually!! ya know urself

So we are fooling around and I ask her for a BJ!! I know you shud never ask (but I was young and I learnt my lesson! :rolleyes: )

I ask her anyway and she starts to ball out crying saying "I cant believe you asked me that I hate the thought of even doing it". SO Im left standing there feeling very awkward and very guilty for making her cry thinking WTF! WE BREAK UP a week later!!!

ahhhh let her go.she sounds like a right boring twat,that said 17 is a bit young to smoke blue vein cigars lol

battser · 20-05-2009 11:45AM

She was actually 18 at the time. Bit older and more mature! I didnt expect the response. needless to say It didn't work out anyway.

I do have a funny story tho but its not really a bad date or sex story but a funny story that came from sex.

I was having a bit of fun while in college with this girl who was quite horny and always wanting sex. We were out in the SU one night and went back to hers. Anyway I was about 19 and was always careful so always wrapped up. We had sex maybe three times thats night. Her mother came home and I have to throw my Sh!t on and GTFO quick so I go home throw my dirty clothes from the night before in the wash and think grand Ill just relax here for a bit. Queue a shout up the stairs from my old man!!

I walk down all tired and am like whats up.

"Put your hand in the pocket of your trousers" Im like ah FCUK what did I leave some cigs in them?

NO worst case scenario i put my hand in and feel tissue and the strange feeling of a used condom or 3!!!!! MY FB stuck the used ones and tissue in my pocket! My mother had stumbled across them in my pocket when putting my **** in for the wash!!! I just left my hand in the pocket and walked back up to my room!!! Couldnt even say anything!

:o

THE SHAME!

ibanez777vbk · 20-05-2009 11:48AM

battser wrote: »

She was actually 18 at the time. Bit older and more mature! I didnt expect the response. needless to say It didn't work out anyway.

I do have a funny story tho but its not really a bad date or sex story but a funny story that came from sex.

I was having a bit of fun while in college with this girl who was quite horny and always wanting sex. We were out in the SU one night and went back to hers. Anyway I was about 19 and was always careful so always wrapped up. We had sex maybe three times thats night. Her mother came home and I have to throw my Sh!t on and GTFO quick so I go home throw my dirty clothes from the night before in the wash and think grand Ill just relax here for a bit. Queue a shout up the stairs from my old man!!

I walk down all tired and am like whats up.

"Put your hand in the pocket of your trousers" Im like ah FCUK what did I leave some cigs in them?

NO worst case scenario i put my hand in and feel tissue and the strange feeling of a used condom or 3!!!!! MY FB stuck the used ones and tissue in my pocket! My mother had stumbled across them in my pocket when putting my **** in for the wash!!! I just left my hand in the pocket and walked back up to my room!!! Couldnt even say anything! :o

THE SHAME!

hahahaha fook me thats bad

WillieCocker · 20-05-2009 01:03PM

battser wrote: »

She was actually 18 at the time. Bit older and more mature! I didnt expect the response. needless to say It didn't work out anyway.

I do have a funny story tho but its not really a bad date or sex story but a funny story that came from sex.

I was having a bit of fun while in college with this girl who was quite horny and always wanting sex. We were out in the SU one night and went back to hers. Anyway I was about 19 and was always careful so always wrapped up. We had sex maybe three times thats night. Her mother came home and I have to throw my Sh!t on and GTFO quick so I go home throw my dirty clothes from the night before in the wash and think grand Ill just relax here for a bit. Queue a shout up the stairs from my old man!!

I walk down all tired and am like whats up.

"Put your hand in the pocket of your trousers" Im like ah FCUK what did I leave some cigs in them?

NO worst case scenario i put my hand in and feel tissue and the strange feeling of a used condom or 3!!!!! MY FB stuck the used ones and tissue in my pocket! My mother had stumbled across them in my pocket when putting my **** in for the wash!!! I just left my hand in the pocket and walked back up to my room!!! Couldnt even say anything! :o

THE SHAME!

Dirty!!!!!

Nervous Wreck · 20-05-2009 02:33PM

This is my worst date type story in recent times... Fake names will be used on the off chance! Long-ish story but crazy pay-off....!

So I was out with the lads in Doyles one night and got chatting to some girl. Really sound, funny, into the same things and could literally quote a line from any movie in my DVD collection. Jackpot. So we have a good laugh, swap numbers n'all and say we'll be in touch. Bita texting over the next few days but nothing much. So a week after, I'm sitting in the bar in my job havin a few drinks after work with my mate Colin, when I get a text from this girl asking if I'm out and saying I should come to Whelans. Wasn't really feeling it at first cos we were havin a laugh already but she rings me a few minutes later and asks me to come up and then puts me on the phone to her mate for some reason. I can hear them trying to whisper to each other in the background "Is he good looking?" "Yeah he's really cute" and they sound like they're pissed and havin great craic. I say I'll let them know and go back to Colin. He then gets a text from some girl and goes "Right, I'm goin to meet this girl in a few minutes" so I go "**** it, I'll go up and meet Rachel and her mate in Whelans."

So I let them know I'm coming up and Rachel meets me halfway and we get there and her mate is super sound as well and the three of us are havin a great laugh. Eventually, we end up sitting on a couch and they start going "Come on back to our flat" and I'm like "Nah man, I've a doctors appointment bright and early, I gotta go home" but they keep at it and after about 5 mins of "Come home" "No, I'm goin home", I eventually give in and say I'll go back to theirs and just stay up all night and get an early bus to the Doc's. So it's looking like its gonna be a fun night until, it happens!

We're sitting there on the couch and some girl comes over and says "I'm really sorry guys, but I think I might have left my scarf over here. Would it be under you by any chance?" So we shift around and turns out Amy's sitting on it and she hands it back and the girl says her thanks and walks off. Rachel turns to me and casually remarks "I have her wallet.".....

Me: "Um, what?"

Rachel: "That girl, I have her wallet. It was with that scarf when we sat down."

Me: "Jaysus, ye better go give it back sure!"

Rachel: "No, I'm not really that moral."

Me: "Y'wha!?"

Rachel: "It's grand like."

At this stage, I'm flabbergasted.

Me: "Hah, you don't actually have her wallet."

Rachel: *produces two wallets from her handbag*

Shocking realisation that this isn't a joke.

Me: "Are you actually not going to give that girl her wallet back?"

Rachel: "No..."

Me: "You're actually going to keep this person's wallet?"

Rachel: "Yep."

What could I do?

Me: "Right, talk tya later so."

And I walked straight out, never to speak again. What a bloody mental.

partyguinness · 20-05-2009 02:38PM

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

This is my worst date type story in recent times... Fake names will be used on the off chance! Long-ish story but crazy pay-off....!

So I was out with the lads in Doyles one night and got chatting to some girl. Really sound, funny, into the same things and could literally quote a line from any movie in my DVD collection. Jackpot. So we have a good laugh, swap numbers n'all and say we'll be in touch. Bita texting over the next few days but nothing much. So a week after, I'm sitting in the bar in my job havin a few drinks after work with my mate Colin, when I get a text from this girl asking if I'm out and saying I should come to Whelans. Wasn't really feeling it at first cos we were havin a laugh already but she rings me a few minutes later and asks me to come up and then puts me on the phone to her mate for some reason. I can hear them trying to whisper to each other in the background "Is he good looking?" "Yeah he's really cute" and they sound like they're pissed and havin great craic. I say I'll let them know and go back to Colin. He then gets a text from some girl and goes "Right, I'm goin to meet this girl in a few minutes" so I go "**** it, I'll go up and meet Rachel and her mate in Whelans."

So I let them know I'm coming up and Rachel meets me halfway and we get there and her mate is super sound as well and the three of us are havin a great laugh. Eventually, we end up sitting on a couch and they start going "Come on back to our flat" and I'm like "Nah man, I've a doctors appointment bright and early, I gotta go home" but they keep at it and after about 5 mins of "Come home" "No, I'm goin home", I eventually give in and say I'll go back to theirs and just stay up all night and get an early bus to the Doc's. So it's looking like its gonna be a fun night until, it happens!

We're sitting there on the couch and some girl comes over and says "I'm really sorry guys, but I think I might have left my scarf over here. Would it be under you by any chance?" So we shift around and turns out Amy's sitting on it and she hands it back and the girl says her thanks and walks off. Rachel turns to me and casually remarks "I have her wallet.".....

Me: "Um, what?"

Rachel: "That girl, I have her wallet. It was with that scarf when we sat down."

Me: "Jaysus, ye better go give it back sure!"

Rachel: "No, I'm not really that moral."

Me: "Y'wha!?"

Rachel: "It's grand like."

At this stage, I'm flabbergasted.

Me: "Hah, you don't actually have her wallet."

Rachel: *produces two wallets from her handbag*

Shocking realisation that this isn't a joke.

Me: "Are you actually not going to give that girl her wallet back?"

Rachel: "No..."

Me: "You're actually going to keep this person's wallet?"

Rachel: "Yep."

What could I do?

Me: "Right, talk tya later so."

And I walked straight out, never to speak again. What a bloody mental.

Mate, that was the biggest let down of a story I have ever read on this forum...ever I tell you. All that for what?

I thought you were getting a 3some. I feel cheated..:mad:

Nervous Wreck · 20-05-2009 02:52PM

Haha, aww sorry man. Kinda highlights how let down I was on the night though!

Puddleduck · 20-05-2009 02:53PM

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Haha, aww sorry man. Kinda highlights how let down I was on the night though!

So you thought you were in for a threesome too?

hobochris · 20-05-2009 03:05PM

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Haha, aww sorry man. Kinda highlights how let down I was on the night though!

I Expected better from you R!

Nervous Wreck · 20-05-2009 03:05PM

I thought I was in for something but I wasn't optimistic (read: stupid) enough to think I was in for a threesome....!

partyguinness · 20-05-2009 03:07PM

I feel you should have prob hung in there..whats a wallet nicked here and there..you will never know now...you might have missed out on the greatest experience of you life...:(

ps. Any chance yo might pm their numbers my way;)

hobochris · 20-05-2009 03:10PM

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

I thought I was in for something but I wasn't optimistic (read: stupid) enough to think I was in for a threesome....!

Bad girls do ALL the naughty stuff

Nervous Wreck · 20-05-2009 03:14PM

partyguinness wrote: »

I feel you should have prob hung in there..whats a wallet nicked here and there..you will never know now...you might have missed out on the greatest experience of you life...:(

ps. Any chance yo might pm their numbers my way;)

Ha, you might be right but I couldn't get my head around it. Saw no way to justify going home with this girl after witnessing that. Don't get me wrong, if someone steals a mars bar from Spar, or a bath from homebase, I'm down with that... But stealing from some random girl, who was actually so nice when she asked about her scarf, just seemed horrible...!

PM on the way my man.

helimachoptor · 20-05-2009 03:14PM

partyguinness wrote: »

Mate, that was the biggest let down of a story I have ever read on this forum...ever I tell you. All that for what?

I thought you were getting a 3some. I feel cheated..:mad:

someone edit his story!!!

edit:

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

So I let them know I'm coming up and Rachel meets me halfway and we get there and her mate is super sound as well and the three of us are havin a great laugh. Eventually, we end up sitting on a couch and they start going "Come on back to our flat" and I'm like "Nah man, I've a doctors appointment bright and early, I gotta go home" but they keep at it and after about 5 mins of "Come home" "No, I'm goin home", I eventually give in and say I'll go back to theirs and just stay up all night and get an early bus to the Doc's. So it's looking like its gonna be a fun night, I go in the toilet buy a pack of super strong durex. In the taxi back to there's they're fondling my manhood and their boobs at the same time... We get down and dirty in the living room, Rachel is well practised and seems to be able to take a subway footlong.. Subway Certified Deep Throat Expert:D. anyway I really wanted to go muff diving... I take off the mates G -string to find... A massive schlong.. I realise then she's the bird/dude from the crying game:eek:

Next day at the doctors appointment, I got the special.. he managed to get one of thos durex super strong condoms out of my a$$

battser · 20-05-2009 03:16PM

LMFAO +1

ibanez777vbk · 20-05-2009 03:17PM

Puddleduck wrote: »

So you thought you were in for a threesome too?

want to tell us more about it like

im all ears well eyes in this case

Puddleduck · 20-05-2009 03:19PM

ibanez777vbk wrote: »

want to tell us more about it like im all ears well eyes in this case

See ficticious story above

ibanez777vbk · 20-05-2009 03:30PM

i once took 2 girls home from a nightclub.when we went to bed 1 of the girls tried to undo her mates bra and i thought holy **** this is it baby hahaha then her mate said awwww i cant do any lesbians stuff got dressed and off she went,gutted doesnt come close i was well sickend.still done her mate

but still a sickner

jen_da_fer · 20-05-2009 08:45PM

Worst Sexual Experience:

I was texting my ex on and off for a few months, then they started to get very flirty. We went out for a year in 6th year but never bumped uglies so we started to talk about how 'if we could turn back time' etc :-)

Anyways, went to a nightclub this one Friday night and low and behold the ex is there, so we get to dancin and chattin and we have a quick kiss, and he asked me back to his 'for old times sake!'. So off we went.

First of all, white y fronts (the guy is 23). Took about 20 mins for him to 'warm up' (he wasn drunk), after we eventually got going he just stopped suddenly said 'I love this song' and got out of bed to turn it up. He continually changed positions every two minutes, and finally said after about five mins, 'i think im too cold' and rolled over and fell asleep WITH THE CONDOM STILL ON.

I left.

Next day I got a text saying 'Next time it would be better if you just lay still instead of trying too hard'

There was no next time!

GalwayKiefer · 20-05-2009 08:51PM

jen_da_fer wrote: »

'Next time it would be better if you just lay still instead of trying too hard'

I think I speak for the majority of men when I say WTF?!

ibanez777vbk · 20-05-2009 09:44PM

jen_da_fer wrote: »

Worst Sexual Experience:

I was texting my ex on and off for a few months, then they started to get very flirty. We went out for a year in 6th year but never bumped uglies so we started to talk about how 'if we could turn back time' etc :-)

Anyways, went to a nightclub this one Friday night and low and behold the ex is there, so we get to dancin and chattin and we have a quick kiss, and he asked me back to his 'for old times sake!'. So off we went.

First of all, white y fronts (the guy is 23). Took about 20 mins for him to 'warm up' (he wasn drunk), after we eventually got going he just stopped suddenly said 'I love this song' and got out of bed to turn it up. He continually changed positions every two minutes, and finally said after about five mins, 'i think im too cold' and rolled over and fell asleep WITH THE CONDOM STILL ON.

I left.

Next day I got a text saying 'Next time it would be better if you just lay still instead of trying too hard'

There was no next time!

ssssshhhhh what a numpty he sounds,some people just aint got a clue

your worst dates/sex/relationships etc..... Ladies & Lads!

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