What are your funniest Irish sayings?

kraggy · 24-09-2007 7:06pm

"That wan's so tight she squeaks when she walks"

muckwarrior · 24-09-2007 7:09pm

Ya made a right hoors abortion of that!

philstar · 24-09-2007 7:23pm

go ask me bollocks:D

murphaph · 24-09-2007 7:28pm

D'ja know the five lamps?

skywalker · 24-09-2007 7:37pm

A common rhetorical question in Dublin.

Dya want me to break your face, for ya?

MooseJam · 24-09-2007 7:40pm

herald or the press

Caliden · 24-09-2007 7:58pm

I wouldnt get up on her to get over a wall.

I wouldnt even ride her if she had 2 peddles and a saddle

entropi · 24-09-2007 8:00pm

Favourite oldie : Get up the yard... or failing that one, ask me bollix

Current favourite would be two my little bro uses, up your swiss or for describing hunger: i'd eat the scabby leg off a septic leper

Heard some classics before like : the tide wouldn't take her out etc which make me smile at times

MrJoeSoap · 24-09-2007 8:02pm

She's only a gowlbag, a sniper wouldn't take her out.

E. Fudd · 24-09-2007 8:12pm

"ah ask me bastard"

admiralofthefleet · 24-09-2007 8:31pm

there was an old dude that drank in a pub i worked in a few years ago that always sat at the end of the bar and commented on the good looking female customers by saying 'i'd suck her farts'

RoyalMarine · 24-09-2007 8:36pm

YORE MA!!

sorry. cant stop laughing when ever this pops up in a decent convo.

Mr. Presentable · 24-09-2007 8:41pm

As mad as a wet hen.

As contrary as a bag of cats.

The luckiest cúnt who ever p1ssed through a Davy Crocket hat.

admiralofthefleet · 24-09-2007 8:50pm

kiss the back of me sack

im so hungry i could eat a cows arse through a hedge

ye dopey bollix

zuutroy · 24-09-2007 8:56pm

She's a face like a bucket of smashed crabs and an arse like a bag of hammers.

Agamemnon · 24-09-2007 9:09pm

MikeHoncho wrote:

"Id ate a mile of her ****e to get a lick of her hole"

LOL! A friend of mine says something similar: "I'd run through a mile of barbed wire to poke a stick in her shit." He also says "I'd take a bite out of her arse" but that could just be him being deviant.

For someone lazy: "If there was work in bed he'd sleep on the floor."

MrJoeSoap · 24-09-2007 9:27pm

The Podge and Rodge version was something like...

"I'd crawl for miles over broken glass and hot coals to lick the exhaust pipe of the van that brought her dirty knickers to the laundry"

Orange69 · 24-09-2007 11:49pm

Im so thirsty id drink a pint of beamish out of a knackers sock..

Dord · 25-09-2007 12:02am

Geh outta tha' garden and gerrup the yard!

TheMilkyPirate · 25-09-2007 1:25am

"He's so tight his arse squeaks when he walks"

"seen better legs on a table"

"seen better heads on a pint of guinness"

"i wouldn't ride her into battle"

Coileach dearg · 25-09-2007 1:40am

Go lasfaidh dia thú

Go suas ort fhéin

One to use at a Wedding:
Go n-éiri an leaba libh!

Hagar · 25-09-2007 7:47am

If he saw the Liffey he'd want his piss back.

I will in me bollix.

Did your mother have any kids that lived?

He'd drink piss out of a hoor's boot.

What sort of eejit are ye?

As thick as bottled pigshite.

If he had brains he'd be dangerous.

If he had another brain it would be lonely.

Such is life without a wife and the man next door has two.

A face like a well smacked arse.

As sick as a small hospital.

Are you talking to me or chewing a brick?

djsctt · 25-09-2007 8:13am

"He'd get up on the crack of dawn"

Jesus Wept · 25-09-2007 9:12am

animaX wrote:

"Be jaysus" always makes me laugh!

be the lord lamb of jaysus - hokey.

Dizzyblonde wrote:

Face like a boiled shíte

a face like yesterdy's porridge

a face like a melted welly.

As full as a bingo bus.

(a great one from the country fella's)

She had nipples like calf-nuts.

Daz wouldn't shift her.

I asked my grandmother how she was recently and her response was

'pullin the divil (devil

) by the tail!'

Lola123 · 25-09-2007 9:29am

"I will in my swiss"

"Jaysus, I'm sweatin like a dyslexic on countdown"

"He'd get up on a cracked plate"

"Yore wan is a bleedin sssdope!"

jazoo · 25-09-2007 9:39am

yore only a geebag

Dyr · 25-09-2007 9:44am

ahfordeluvanhonourajaysus (will ye leave yer sister alowin!!)

Im wall-falling (wit de hunger begob)

whats dat got to do wit de price of turnips??

lshe looks like her da set her head on fire and her ma put it out with a shovel

a heart the size of wrens bollix

and on top of them i dunno how many times i had to explain "scaldy" to foreigners

Jesus Wept · 25-09-2007 9:47am

Bambi wrote:

and on top of them i dunno how many times i had to explain "scaldy" to foreigners

mug ah scald.

Stephen P · 25-09-2007 9:47am

On seeing a beautiful woman...

"I'd suck the diarrhea from her knickers with a mcdonalds straw!

Mexicola · 25-09-2007 9:49am

He's as thick as a double ditch.

What are your funniest Irish sayings?

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