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Divorcing PPR and child maintenance

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    #212
    Bass Reeves
    Registered Users Posts: 18,233 ✭✭✭✭Bass Reeves


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121132747#Comment_121132747

    No matter how much I was having trouble with her it's something I be very slow to do for the children same

    Slava Ukrainii



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    #213
    thatshowthelightgetsin
    Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭thatshowthelightgetsin


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121132490#Comment_121132490

    Yes, because fathers having equal rights to mothers to continue to parent their own children and to own their own home rather than have the mother privileged with control of both is such a radical... challenge to female control? It wasn't so long ago since Irish judges were penalising people for being gay, sending children to industrial schools, authorising the sale of children to Americans, and letting the murderers of a gay man walk free because they allegedly came from "good homes". Likewise, the prejudices of the judiciary against fathers in 2023 need to be highlighted and challenged by all fathers in our obscenely costly, secretive legal system. What is your problem with this challenge?

    The "equality agenda" doesn't stop where it suits women to have it stop. If women want to be treated equally in employment outside the home and take "traditional" male jobs, then maybe they should ease up on the entitlement and expect that the old female domination of things in the event of marital breakdown is going to be challenged more and more. The general female resistance to this change can be distilled to two outstanding words: control & entitlement. The "equality agenda" is coming for the highly secretive family law courts of Ireland.



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    #214
    delusiondestroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭delusiondestroyer


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121132202#Comment_121132202

    Not at all id have the upmost respect for my other half if she approached me and was honest and said this isnt working, i would try resolve it and failing that i would go above an beyond to make sure the split was seamless and well understood by the kids, a person that is honorable like that and carry's themselves as a decent person deserves nothing but respect and be treated accordingly.

    Now contrast that with someone that cheats and when they are found out they show no remorse and the first thing they do is demand more money? You can be absolutely certain they would be dealt with in the most ruthless manner possible, because that's what they deserve. Your judge can do nothin to a person that that isnt bothered by there deterrents they can only punish after the fact and not before it.

    So i would be relentlessly "f**kin about and finding out", She would have front row seats to watch her life burn and there would be nothing that could be done.

    And its no more than scum like that deserve sorry but that's just the truth these people shouldn't be protected and they shouldn't be allowed to use there children as shields to protect themselves from the repercussions of there **** behavior.



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    #215
    delusiondestroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭delusiondestroyer


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121132490#Comment_121132490

    Only some extremely naive person would willingly walk into those courts expecting a fair shake, In this scenario id have everything done long before it got to courts especially in a financial sense, rendering the courts essentially powerless.

    Cant get money they cant find, Cant garnish wages that arent earned.



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    #216
    Ezeoul
    Registered Users Posts: 2,229 ✭✭✭Ezeoul


    So, after destroying her publically on social media, and "burning down her world", quitting your employment so you have no earnings, (which means no way to support kids or pay rent ) and deliberately default on the mortgage on the family home to have the house repossessed (which will take maybe 5 years anyway) - you still think you are in a better "moral" position to be trusted to raise children, and a court will hand you over full custody?

    You really haven't thought this through, have you? 😂

    You may think Judges are biased, if you wish - but they are not fools.



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    #217
    pc7
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,008 Mod ✭✭✭✭pc7


    OP would selling the house and buying two smaller places be an option? As others have said good strong legal advise is the key on this one. Best of luck op not easy



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    #218
    delusiondestroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭delusiondestroyer


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133014#Comment_121133014

    What makes you think id stay within the rules? lol you seem to think id march to the beat of the courts and play fair lol use your imagination there are many ways to skin a cat.

    Of course i would! id be a good hardworking man that fell to depression because of his wifes cheating, her actions really damaged me and I was failing at my job due to the grief and anxiety it caused me. A tragic story in truth but somehow i would be optimistic of a recovery down the line :) Now with how strong a position mental health is these days the good old judge wouldn't dare challenge it or discriminate over it ;)

    Id probably be able to return to my job once everything settled down.

    She would be outted, homeless and not getting a cent and her life turned into a living hell lol A tragic fate of her own making lol

    And that would only be the start lol



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    #219
    GarfieldandPookyBear
    Registered Users Posts: 283 ✭✭GarfieldandPookyBear


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121132871#Comment_121132871

    So what you’re saying is, you would punish your children because of something your wife did. Got it. Good luck in court with that narrative 👍



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    #220
    GarfieldandPookyBear
    Registered Users Posts: 283 ✭✭GarfieldandPookyBear


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133153#Comment_121133153

    And that folks is why you lose access to your children. Don’t be this guy 👍 I’m muting this troll.



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    #221
    delusiondestroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭delusiondestroyer


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133214#Comment_121133214

    So what your saying is you support cheaters who mentally abuse there children and cause them mental distress to satisfy there own needs? Your assuming alot here for one the children might hate there mother they might not even want to stay with her after what she did.

    Your saying that man should be financially crippled for the rest of his days because of a scummy womans actions the bottom of the barrel women.

    Good luck being a cheater and using your children as an emotional shield in court for your actions.

    Disgusting excuse of a human.



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    #222
    delusiondestroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭delusiondestroyer


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133228#Comment_121133228

    We all know what you are and why you are defending the cheater lol must be painful to seeing them get what they deserve.

    Muting these sympathizers.



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    #223
    jj880
    Registered Users Posts: 4,404 ✭✭✭jj880


    Whats apparent in this thread is when it comes to who gets what in a divorce everyone screams "think of the children" but when you mention who had an affair everyone shouts "Ireland is a no fault state". Not a peep about the children then as it doesnt suit the argument. Also we now have people telling the heartless husband dont DNA test the children even though the reason for the test in the first place is her affair and if it does turn out 1 or all the kids arent his whos fault is that for shagging outside their marriage years ago? Absolute nonsense. Just because Ireland is a no fault state and divorce is completely biased against the husband doesnt make it acceptable.

    Some of the rabbit hole posts in this thread are quite laughable. Just throw some kind of post up to get a reply in even if you cant disprove what someone is saying. No-one wants to answer the big question: is whats happening to the OP fair? Nevermind current legislation, judges, no fault states or anything else. 4.2k income and the family home for her until the youngest child turns 23 or even longer if she has any more children with her current bit on the side or some other guy. 2k income for him on his parents couch. Is it fair? It isnt. This thread proves it. It needs to change.

    Post edited by jj880 on


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    #224
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron



    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121130753#Comment_121130753

    the mortgage payments will just go away will they? poof

    he will never own a home after this

    he will end up in court being forced into payment, wages taken from him, you don't have a clue what you are talking about



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    #225
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121132314#Comment_121132314

    like even with mediation or court they wont allow this imbalance to take place



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    #226
    delusiondestroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭delusiondestroyer


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133412#Comment_121133412

    Before you make another comment explain to me how he gets a home following your advice he would be down to sub 2k on his parents couch paying for a house he cant live in with his ex gunning for way more money from him.

    Please explain it i want to hear how he ends up with a house out of this.

    Lets hear your answers seeing as you know it all.



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    #227
    delusiondestroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭delusiondestroyer


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133409#Comment_121133409

    This thread just shows to me the level of scum that are out there, that sympathize with remorseless cheaters that want to leach a living using there children as leverage.

    Its exactly what's wrong with our society these people essentially get rewarded for there disgusting behavior i know of men that have killed themselves over women cheating and the destruction it caused in there lives truly evil women.

    In alot of these cases these women moved the man they cheated with into the family home.. thats what your dealing with.

    The only thing they deserved was jail nevermind the family home they are the scum of the earth and deserve nothing but contempt.



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    #228
    Bass Reeves
    Registered Users Posts: 18,233 ✭✭✭✭Bass Reeves


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133423#Comment_121133423

    The problem for the OP is that under the present circumstances it highly unlikely he be able to afford a house anyway. As at present he is on a virtual subsistence payment while she has over 1k net per week in real terms and only has the children 65% of the time

    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133423#Comment_121133423


    The level of payment to her is abnormal considering that @Hammerhead1 has the children 5 of the 14 days of a two week period or nearly 35% of the time. He really need to be a bit selfish for not just himself but also for his children .

    Unfortunately you cannot have an omelet with breaking eggs

    Slava Ukrainii



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    #229
    Ezeoul
    Registered Users Posts: 2,229 ✭✭✭Ezeoul


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133468#Comment_121133468

    I see you continue to conveniently ignore the fact that the ex-wife here is also in employment.

    The maintenance she receives is declared and means tested and would be treated as taxable income. How do I know this? Because the amount the OP told us she receives only equals a partial payment.

    But please continue. Your rants are a perfect lesson of how NOT to proceed in a family law case. Good man. 👍



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    #230
    delusiondestroyer
    Registered Users Posts: 475 ✭✭delusiondestroyer


    OP i wouldn't take any advice from either @Ezeoul or @GarfieldandPookyBear these are clearly women that have some "experience" in the situation and have rationalized the woman's behavior in some warped fashion, they seem to be more worried about her getting the kids and money than anything else regardless of what shes done.

    I would take heed of what tactics they use and how they emotionally leverage the kids to justify both financial gains and the home it will more than likely be a tactic ur ex will use as these people seem cut of the same cloth.

    I suggest you be alot less selfless and fight your corner more for the sake of your kids you dont want a woman like that with total control of your kids and your going to need money to stop that being the case. Women like that arent fit to be mothers.



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    #231
    Bass Reeves
    Registered Users Posts: 18,233 ✭✭✭✭Bass Reeves


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133823#Comment_121133823

    I am afraid you are incorrect. CA is not taxable neither is child support or for that fact maintenance where it is voluntary which I expect it is here As he pays the mortgage that is not taxable income either

    The OPA and her wages are as well as maybe the 150 a month in direct support he is paying are if the payment is court directed. She is probably paying 35 euro a week in a 1k/ week in income and that is presuming that the maintenance he pays is taxed

    This one is playing a stormer. OP is gifting her free accomodation and picking up half of all the children day to day expense ( he is actually paying all the after-school childcare). She will play this put as long as possible as she will not do as well after the divorce settlement

    Slava Ukrainii



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    #232
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133444#Comment_121133444

    she isn't gunning for more money from him though

    he just wanted to know if he was paying too much

    with the figures he mentioned yes and a divorce settlement would see it that way

    it wont if he puts the kids out on the street, he will be crucified

    he will never own any property with your childish ideas



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    #233
    Bass Reeves
    Registered Users Posts: 18,233 ✭✭✭✭Bass Reeves


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121126837#Comment_121126837

    Get real, he was sleeping on the couch in a three bed house with his wife and four children.

    Slava Ukrainii



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    #234
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133617#Comment_121133617

    yes, so go to mediation, which he hasn;t done

    correct the figures, its why he was asking the question in the first place

    it will be a tight squeeze no matter what he does, thats the reality of it



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    #235
    Widdensushi
    Registered Users Posts: 5,179 ✭✭✭Widdensushi


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134070#Comment_121134070

    They tried mediation



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    #236
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134088#Comment_121134088

    where do they say that?



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    #237
    jj880
    Registered Users Posts: 4,404 ✭✭✭jj880


    I suspect mediation in Ireland is a nice name for listen to us threaten what the judge will do if you dont give in to our demands.

    Like having your balls in a guillotine with the cheating ex holding the release handle.

    Lovely stuff.



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    #238
    Ezeoul
    Registered Users Posts: 2,229 ✭✭✭Ezeoul


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134036#Comment_121134036

    I am not incorrect. I was referring to One Parent Family Payment, which the OP confirmed she receives.

    OPFP is means tested and taxable income when the recipient is in employment, as the Op's ex-wife is.

    Maintenance received including payments to any mortgage, most certainly is included as part of the means test (with €95 per week discounted towards housing costs.)

    I used to work in this specific area, calculating these payments.

    Screenshot_20230920_143303_com.android.chrome.jpg
    Screenshot_20230920_144826.jpg


    Post edited by Ezeoul on


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    #239
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134132#Comment_121134132

    its not, its a serious process for serious people not just in divorce procedings

    the cost of an acrimonious divorce should be enough to put off most people



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    #240
    Furze99
    Registered Users Posts: 10,638 ✭✭✭✭Furze99


    These threads always end up the same way, hijacked by people with their own agendas lining up on either side. No particular advice for OP other than listen carefully to legal advice, communicate with ex and discuss alternative solutions, stay in touch with your children and keep insisting on fairness. Equality is a two way street.



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    #241
    the.red.baron
    Registered Users Posts: 1,632 ✭✭✭the.red.baron


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134186#Comment_121134186

    there is plenty of good advice in the thread countering the bad



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