Divorcing PPR and child maintenance

pc7

OP would selling the house and buying two smaller places be an option? As others have said good strong legal advise is the key on this one. Best of luck op not easy

delusiondestroyer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133014#Comment_121133014

What makes you think id stay within the rules? lol you seem to think id march to the beat of the courts and play fair lol use your imagination there are many ways to skin a cat.

Of course i would! id be a good hardworking man that fell to depression because of his wifes cheating, her actions really damaged me and I was failing at my job due to the grief and anxiety it caused me. A tragic story in truth but somehow i would be optimistic of a recovery down the line :) Now with how strong a position mental health is these days the good old judge wouldn't dare challenge it or discriminate over it ;)

Id probably be able to return to my job once everything settled down.

She would be outted, homeless and not getting a cent and her life turned into a living hell lol A tragic fate of her own making lol

And that would only be the start lol

GarfieldandPookyBear

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121132871#Comment_121132871

So what you’re saying is, you would punish your children because of something your wife did. Got it. Good luck in court with that narrative 👍

GarfieldandPookyBear

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133153#Comment_121133153

And that folks is why you lose access to your children. Don’t be this guy 👍 I’m muting this troll.

delusiondestroyer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133214#Comment_121133214

So what your saying is you support cheaters who mentally abuse there children and cause them mental distress to satisfy there own needs? Your assuming alot here for one the children might hate there mother they might not even want to stay with her after what she did.

Your saying that man should be financially crippled for the rest of his days because of a scummy womans actions the bottom of the barrel women.

Good luck being a cheater and using your children as an emotional shield in court for your actions.

Disgusting excuse of a human.

delusiondestroyer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133228#Comment_121133228

We all know what you are and why you are defending the cheater lol must be painful to seeing them get what they deserve.

Muting these sympathizers.

jj880

Whats apparent in this thread is when it comes to who gets what in a divorce everyone screams "think of the children" but when you mention who had an affair everyone shouts "Ireland is a no fault state". Not a peep about the children then as it doesnt suit the argument. Also we now have people telling the heartless husband dont DNA test the children even though the reason for the test in the first place is her affair and if it does turn out 1 or all the kids arent his whos fault is that for shagging outside their marriage years ago? Absolute nonsense. Just because Ireland is a no fault state and divorce is completely biased against the husband doesnt make it acceptable.

Some of the rabbit hole posts in this thread are quite laughable. Just throw some kind of post up to get a reply in even if you cant disprove what someone is saying. No-one wants to answer the big question: is whats happening to the OP fair? Nevermind current legislation, judges, no fault states or anything else. 4.2k income and the family home for her until the youngest child turns 23 or even longer if she has any more children with her current bit on the side or some other guy. 2k income for him on his parents couch. Is it fair? It isnt. This thread proves it. It needs to change.

the.red.baron

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121130753#Comment_121130753

the mortgage payments will just go away will they? poof

he will never own a home after this

he will end up in court being forced into payment, wages taken from him, you don't have a clue what you are talking about

the.red.baron

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121132314#Comment_121132314

like even with mediation or court they wont allow this imbalance to take place

delusiondestroyer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133412#Comment_121133412

Before you make another comment explain to me how he gets a home following your advice he would be down to sub 2k on his parents couch paying for a house he cant live in with his ex gunning for way more money from him.

Please explain it i want to hear how he ends up with a house out of this.

Lets hear your answers seeing as you know it all.

delusiondestroyer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133409#Comment_121133409

This thread just shows to me the level of scum that are out there, that sympathize with remorseless cheaters that want to leach a living using there children as leverage.

Its exactly what's wrong with our society these people essentially get rewarded for there disgusting behavior i know of men that have killed themselves over women cheating and the destruction it caused in there lives truly evil women.

In alot of these cases these women moved the man they cheated with into the family home.. thats what your dealing with.

The only thing they deserved was jail nevermind the family home they are the scum of the earth and deserve nothing but contempt.

Bass Reeves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133423#Comment_121133423

The problem for the OP is that under the present circumstances it highly unlikely he be able to afford a house anyway. As at present he is on a virtual subsistence payment while she has over 1k net per week in real terms and only has the children 65% of the time

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133423#Comment_121133423

The level of payment to her is abnormal considering that @Hammerhead1 has the children 5 of the 14 days of a two week period or nearly 35% of the time. He really need to be a bit selfish for not just himself but also for his children .

Unfortunately you cannot have an omelet with breaking eggs

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133468#Comment_121133468

I see you continue to conveniently ignore the fact that the ex-wife here is also in employment.

The maintenance she receives is declared and means tested and would be treated as taxable income. How do I know this? Because the amount the OP told us she receives only equals a partial payment.

But please continue. Your rants are a perfect lesson of how NOT to proceed in a family law case. Good man. 👍

delusiondestroyer

OP i wouldn't take any advice from either @Ezeoul or @GarfieldandPookyBear these are clearly women that have some "experience" in the situation and have rationalized the woman's behavior in some warped fashion, they seem to be more worried about her getting the kids and money than anything else regardless of what shes done.

I would take heed of what tactics they use and how they emotionally leverage the kids to justify both financial gains and the home it will more than likely be a tactic ur ex will use as these people seem cut of the same cloth.

I suggest you be alot less selfless and fight your corner more for the sake of your kids you dont want a woman like that with total control of your kids and your going to need money to stop that being the case. Women like that arent fit to be mothers.

Bass Reeves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133823#Comment_121133823

I am afraid you are incorrect. CA is not taxable neither is child support or for that fact maintenance where it is voluntary which I expect it is here As he pays the mortgage that is not taxable income either

The OPA and her wages are as well as maybe the 150 a month in direct support he is paying are if the payment is court directed. She is probably paying 35 euro a week in a 1k/ week in income and that is presuming that the maintenance he pays is taxed

This one is playing a stormer. OP is gifting her free accomodation and picking up half of all the children day to day expense ( he is actually paying all the after-school childcare). She will play this put as long as possible as she will not do as well after the divorce settlement

the.red.baron

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133444#Comment_121133444

she isn't gunning for more money from him though

he just wanted to know if he was paying too much

with the figures he mentioned yes and a divorce settlement would see it that way

it wont if he puts the kids out on the street, he will be crucified

he will never own any property with your childish ideas

Bass Reeves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121126837#Comment_121126837

Get real, he was sleeping on the couch in a three bed house with his wife and four children.

the.red.baron

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121133617#Comment_121133617

yes, so go to mediation, which he hasn;t done

correct the figures, its why he was asking the question in the first place

it will be a tight squeeze no matter what he does, thats the reality of it

Widdensushi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134070#Comment_121134070

They tried mediation

the.red.baron

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134088#Comment_121134088

where do they say that?

jj880

I suspect mediation in Ireland is a nice name for listen to us threaten what the judge will do if you dont give in to our demands.

Like having your balls in a guillotine with the cheating ex holding the release handle.

Lovely stuff.

Ezeoul

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134036#Comment_121134036

I am not incorrect. I was referring to One Parent Family Payment, which the OP confirmed she receives.

OPFP is means tested and taxable income when the recipient is in employment, as the Op's ex-wife is.

Maintenance received including payments to any mortgage, most certainly is included as part of the means test (with €95 per week discounted towards housing costs.)

I used to work in this specific area, calculating these payments.

the.red.baron

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134132#Comment_121134132

its not, its a serious process for serious people not just in divorce procedings

the cost of an acrimonious divorce should be enough to put off most people

Furze99

These threads always end up the same way, hijacked by people with their own agendas lining up on either side. No particular advice for OP other than listen carefully to legal advice, communicate with ex and discuss alternative solutions, stay in touch with your children and keep insisting on fairness. Equality is a two way street.

the.red.baron

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134186#Comment_121134186

there is plenty of good advice in the thread countering the bad

delusiondestroyer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134060#Comment_121134060

Ill state this again nowhere have i said put the kids out on the street infact the opposite, i have advocated that the father do all he can to get custody of them so they arent stuck with a toxic mother. You and the other musketeers deliberately misquote me and lie.

"She isnt gunning for more money" more lies heres a qoute from the OP original post "My ex believes I should be paying much more "

Does this sound like a reasonable person to you or a person of good character that should be allowed to raise kids? stop..

The assumptions in this thread are unreal that the mother should get the kids and the house, she should be turfed out he should get the kids and the house and she should pay him maintenance if this country was anyways ran.

Widdensushi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134126#Comment_121134126

Post 70 and 71

the.red.baron

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134239#Comment_121134239

when he gets the kids and house he can't work

then he loses the kids and house

I mean its so stupid

Bass Reeves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121127658#Comment_121127658

She would not be getting any more than she is now. Along with that any payments he be making would be tax deductible for him

delusiondestroyer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121134275#Comment_121134275

Why cant he work? who says they cant arrange childcare? why isnt she forced to get a job? it'd be alot cheaper for him to keep the house and for them to get childcare so she can go work and feather her own nest.

Plenty of options that would be better for the kids in the long run.

But its not about the kids she wants to gain financially she wants her cake and to eat it too shes using the kids as leverage.

You didnt even know she was looking for more money off him and here you are commenting with not a notion.