Cheating

To be honest as Im discovering lately there appear to be more closed relationships than I thought which was nice to see as it did appear to me open relationships were the norm. But yes what you say carries a lot of truth to it

Lads are easier pleased. Straight, gay, bi whatever your persuasion. If you're a bloke you're less picky than women.

Women are just as unfaithful as men, straight, gay, bi etc they're just much more selective than we are. So it appears they're more faithful.

Exactly. Think of it like this. Average male (who's willing to cheat) will cheat with whatevers available/willing. Average woman (who's willing to cheat) will only cheat with somebody who meets her standard and is also available/willing.

So from the above examples the average male will actually cheat more (more options/chances) then the average woman. But she's no less willing. Just less options.

If there's one thing I've seen from the cheating men that I know of, they're immensely self confident. They've beautiful wife's and the women they get for flings are not bottom of barrel at all. I will say those guys go for the thrill of the hunt.

There's also the more chronic cheaters out there, the ones who lead a double life with 2nd and 3rd relationships and they're doing it for different reasons. Again I don't think they're going to risk all unless there's a good physical attraction.

Yeah I think cheating is more prevalent than people realise unfortunately. The above quote I think is also quite accurate to life. If a man is willing to cheat, then in my experience then he's not hugely picky about who he goes for. The issue is that women simply are not that attracted to that many men as a general rule. But that just means if willing to cheat, that they go straight for the select ones they like. Of course many men won't consider getting involved, but if the guy is single and the woman who is after him is attractive, it's more likely that he will go for her, as his ego and the physical desire are both stimulated.

As to why people cheat, in my opinion it's for numerous reasons. These could range from loneliness (even when living with a partner), the boyfriend/girlfriend taking them for granted, their other half being often away, boredom of the same thing, a desire to have a spark back in their life, to feel wanted and so on.

What I don't really agree with is the "once a cheater always a cheater" statement. Yes it can occur, you get some bad apples in both genders, but as a general rule, a man or a woman who is in a balanced, healthy relationship where there is mutual attraction shouldn't really cheat, even if they have done in the past. As stated above, there are so many potential reasons why people can cheat that are nothing to do with them being a flawed person to the core. I think maybe the most common is getting into a relationship with the wrong person. Both men and women suffer a lot from loneliness - can be a lack of someone to talk to or simply physical lust, so often start a relationship with someone who isn't really suitable, even though perhaps from their cultural background (similar to his/her family for instance), they seem a safe bet. Or the person was/is extremely good looking/high status and their partner was blinded to this initially. Then over time things start to unravel, they realise they don't actually like each other that much and both start having regrets and looking elsewhere. Bear in mind, there can always be a first time to cheat. My friend's wife cheated on him at the age of 46, when as far as we know she hadn't done this in any of her previous relationships. So you can be a cheater at 18 or 78, it's not really an age thing.

My puzzlement is why men who want to live that lifestyle get married in the first place. Okay people will say most marrying men set out with the best of intentions, but given the prevalence of affairs I can't believe there isn't a sizeable cohort saying "I'll be a committed husband and father but I'll also get my bit on the side." And that's just inviting mess and turmoil into your life...

I have cheated in every relationship I have ever been in. Eventually I realised that is just didin't want to be in a relationship so I removed myself from that sphere.

I hate cheating. I'll tolerate a certain amount of flirting, but I'll draw a line when that flirting starts getting physical, ie: touching. Regardless of the circumstances, how that makes the other person feel is horrible. It's pure selfishness, but that is to be expected of humanity.

I've had 2 x 7 year relationships, and never cheated. I had an unbelievable moment where I geuinely believe I could have had a 4-some with 3 girls. I spoke about it in other threads, but it was basically a situation I drunkenly found myself in where there was an element of power at play, the 3 of them were friends who I was dealing with as a Garda at the time. One on each knee, one kneeling between my legs. I couldn't do it. Looking back, I'm saying I would, but I think if it happened again, I still wouldn't do it. I'm terrible with guilt, so I would be worse than she would have been.

I was cheated on once, in the first 7 year relationship. It was about 6.5 years in and she shifted a lad she was in college with. She came straight home and told me, and while we tried to continue I just couldn't trust her anymore so I ended it a few months later. I still feel the pain of being cheated on if I think about it. It's one of the most horrible things you can do to someone you're supposed to love. I'll echo others, if you want to cheat, just end the relationship. I don't care how hard it would be for you, do the right thing instead of playing with someone elses feelings. It doesn't just affect that relationship, it'll affect their future too, that's why it's so selfish.

But again, humanity doesn't surprise me anymore, a horrible selfish race.

That situation sounds like the love is gone and they should sort it or break up, instead of cheat and somehow hope that makes the relationship last.

I agree with you on cheaters, they are weak individuals who cant be trusted either by partners or friends.

But the 4 some story doesnt make you look great at all, forget about the cheating element, an on duty Guard doing that would be insane, it would have come out and you would be all over the papers and news for it like the ejit below.

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/high-court/garda-who-engaged-in-sex-act-with-woman-in-station-wins-challenge-over-suspension-1.4842146

A lot of angry folk hanging around in this thread. How depressing.