Cheating

Larbre34

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118840662#Comment_118840662

Of course not.

If I found out she cheating, that'd be the end of it. If she found out I was cheating, I'm sure that'd be the end of it too.

But if I don't catch her, what I don't know won't hurt me.

Eoinbmw

Its only cheating if your caught!

But being serious I think its the most natural thing in the world to "cheat"

We are as a species just like any other on the planet here to survive !

I honestly feel like its really a primeval instinct in all of us that allows us to behave that way!

Of course alcohol and other substances help to dull our inhibition's so most of this stuff happens under these conditions!

Someone mentioned about being tied down with kids and family life and not having the time! I feel that but being honest with myself Im capable of cheating if all the stars aligned rightly or wrongly!

andekwarhola

It doesn't seem right if you don't say cheatin' like in a plangent country and western song.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118840961#Comment_118840961

Based on this thread responses, I'd say more like 1 in a million

Pissy Missy

I've heard ppl say this too, "I'm happy to stay in a relationship like where everything seems fine, if they were cheating I wouldn't want to know about it". Personally I can't comprehend what's nice about living a lie and being treated like a piece of ****, but each to their own.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118841012#Comment_118841012

We are also evolved to think meta cognitively

Anyway, once a person is upfront that they don't believe in monogamy with a love interest then I don't see the harm, sadly though that usually doesn't happen, people just love to have their cake and eat it. Usually though, the cheating signs are there, just up to the partner to choose to read (or believe) them or not

TheTruth89

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118841012#Comment_118841012

Nonsense, people that think like that are deluding themselves cheating is cheating don't cod yourself otherwise.

But if you genuinely hold those beliefs why do you bother with a relationship then? Would you say that to your missus? I doubt it and for obvious reasons why.

The thing is as much as you think your getting away with it your not really your only damning any relationship that you get into where you will really want it to work because you LL never be able to trust anyone.

Larbre34

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118841115#Comment_118841115

Nope, just 50%, you said it yourself to open the discussion.

And I'm not one bit surprised. I really don't know about the liklihood of women cheating on men, but I'd be completely accepting of a stat which said 1 in 2 of Men would cheat. Its absolutely believable.

I say 'would' and not 'have' , because the reality of it is too stressy for some people and as others have said, some simply don't have the time.

Katgurl

No, what's the point in carrying around regret for years and years? It happened along with a million other things.

Ginger83

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118839805#Comment_118839805

I don't get what was in it for her? Was she an older woman or just did it when drunk? Did she stay the night or go home?

An ex of mine got in touch when her marriage had problems but I stayed well away. Last I heard they were still together and had another kid. She could suck for Ireland but no way was I opening that can of worms.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118837959#Comment_118837959

Forgot to mention it was in Dundalk , he had a Galway name. And Galway heritage. And I Ceen him he Ran like hell. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕

Still stihl waters 3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118841700#Comment_118841700

No about my own age and she was working most of the nights behind the bar but she used to have a few beers if she was off, she used stay until the morning and go home then, she only lived a few doors down from where we were staying, she was ideal in fairness to her

Loafing Oaf

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118841027#Comment_118841027

I find the term really grating, sounds to me like a word someone in Home and Away would use. Is there no more grown-up term we could use? 'Having an affair' is all I can think of, and that's a bit cumbersome...

Jequ0n

There are many reasons why people decide to stay in a relationship and cheat instead of “just” breaking up. If it was so simple more people would go down the breakup route.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118843832#Comment_118843832

One of many reasons for sure.

Larbre34

She spills the beans and the wife initiates a divorce and he's forced to leave the house and has to live happily ever after in a self-directed life of peace and serenity.

Jequ0n

Aww it’s time for the fairy tales now. So the thread took a nice turn after all.

bejeezus

Just curious, but where do you all pick up these people ?? Lol. Writing as a singleton btw

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118844114#Comment_118844114

I think Ashley Madison is a place where people go to have affairs or just simple online dating, ppl care less if they get caught or find it a great place for an easy lay

Larbre34

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118844114#Comment_118844114

People to have an affair with? Usually work.

All the Guards are effing each other. I'm not even exaggerating.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118845014#Comment_118845014

And prison officers, bouncers have a bad rep also

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118845014#Comment_118845014

Did you hear the story,or urban legend, about the garda who was doing his colleague up the ass and she clenched up. Trapping him ?

YFlyer

In Libya. Close the curtains and Allah won't see you.

FintanMcluskey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118845014#Comment_118845014

Yeah the Guards are all riding each other for definite.

A guard has zero loyalty, perhaps due to the nature of their job and constant interactions with scumbags.

sporina

if your cheating you shud leave the relationship = staying in it is trapping you and the other person... why do that? life's too short..

rn

I think it’s a spectrum of thought. I’ve never cheated. But I know two of my longest married friends who were married in their 20’s were/are absolute horn dogs. Both very “happily” married, with big enough young families. Get them on a stag weekend and they would throw caution to the wind, in among the ladies with a confidence and swagger that ladies adore. Can never comprehend it myself.

now the last time this happened was 5 + years ago. The stag parties phase is over. On the face, both still happy. We’re older now.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118872954#Comment_118872954

A sad and disgusting reality unfortunately, can only hope their partners cheated for good measure

Liberty_Bear

I was cheated on five years ago despite being ina 'closed relationship' and after four years the sex had dried up. I asked for an open relationship and had an open talk and he refused. I stayed faithful but he f**ked everything going. I was in the depths of depression and then had to take my arse out and work on myself. Ive been single for five years, I sleep with other married men and guys in relationships who I know are cheating. They are going to get it elsewhere regardless. Cheating to me is where there is a clear physical line crossed and not texting or sexting. Thats my own boundary and from my own reading above its different to what others might think is cheating. Ive met men while the wives were upstairs asleep, that I felt ashamed of.

THe more and more I meet men as a man, the more and more I dont think they are into monogamy. My preference is for a closed relationship or maybe a throuple with two other people in a closed relationship however what I seek and what reality is are two vastly different things. If I didnt adjust my expectations somewhat then I would be very quickly left at the bottom of the shelf.

For the record myself, Ive never cheated. Ive had temptation placed in my way but removed myself from the situation. At times when my relationships went pear shaped I had men come on to me and while its flattering it made me uneasy.

People cheat for a variety of reasons. Certain sexual inclinations, they may be gay, lonliness, esteem and validation etc. In some cases its acceptable I feel eg if one partner is sick. I know of one chap who'se wife was terminally ill for a very long time and he got into a sexual relationship with his wifes friend. The wife didnt know and was confind to bed and he tended to her every need. In that case I would condone it.

Lots of grey areas so I would urge folk not to be judgemental

Sugar_Rush

A girl I slept with repeatedly in college whilst she had a boyfriend back home, ended up marrying him (they're still married now).

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118873858#Comment_118873858

I thought cheating wasn't really a thing in gay relationship?

Open relationships are the norm ?