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How important is a man's job when it comes to dating?

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  • 17-11-2021 11:30pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 29


    Does it make a difference if he's earning 30k or 150k for example?



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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,481 ✭✭✭lawrencesummers


    Ha ha ha.

    Is there a girl out there that doesnt ask “what do you work at” in the first five minutes???



    Nope.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,645 ✭✭✭Xander10


    Look at the wives and girlfriends or some ugly rich men, and you will have your answer



  • Posts: 1,344 [Deleted User]


    Silly question really.......

    Just 2 quick examples.......anna Nicole smith& j Howard Marshall, Lisa Murphy & Gerard Keane ( or even Lisa Murphy & Michael flatley).



  • Registered Users Posts: 254 ✭✭barrier86


    This was in about 2006 or 2007

    A friend of my brother, self employed, was on a few dates with a “career driven woman”.


    He had a few people working for him (he never mentioned this in the beginning as he’s not one to talk himself up) and often took a few days at leisure, the girl took this as him being a part time worker and told him that she wanted someone more career focused and someone who strives to be the best in their field and it fizzled out from there.

    His business really took off, and he did really well through the recession and is pretty much semi retired now (mid 40s)

    Career woman lost her job early on in the financial collapse, applied for a job with for his company and he interviewed her. Apparently it was very awkward and she actually turned down the job out of pride / awkwardness

    About a year later she called him on his personal phone to see if he had any work available for her.

    moral of the story; it was extremely important to her, so much so she blanked him when she thought his career wasn’t good enough for her



  • Registered Users Posts: 9,590 ✭✭✭billyhead


    As the saying goes flash the cash and they will show you their gash.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,411 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    I've no idea why I'm engaging in this thread in good faith given the responses already, but I'll post my response to pretty much the exact same question when it was posted in TGC a while ago:

    For what it's worth, I'm female and a prospective partner's money holds very, very little interest for me. As long as they're solvent and can afford to do fun stuff (eat out, go away for the weekend, etc.) with me, that's good enough for me. I don't expect anyone to bankroll me and I've no interest in bankrolling anyone else.



  • Registered Users Posts: 911 ✭✭✭Burt Renaults


    I suppose it's a good excuse for being single. I'm not single because of my personality, but because I earn less than €50k and because women are bad.



  • Registered Users Posts: 25,717 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    The difference between 30k and 150k is a lot less than the difference between 13k and 30k.



  • Registered Users Posts: 16,055 ✭✭✭✭Loafing Oaf


    Going by some of the recent threads in the Relationship Issues forum, I thought this was going to be another moan about men who make no effort...



  • Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Its my excuse ..im broke and men are goldiggers :P



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    The majority of people marry/get into relationships with people with the same socioeconomic status.

    I think there was a study done in the US a while back that concluded the most successful/happy relationships are those where both partners have a similar SES.



  • Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes





  • Registered Users Posts: 24,841 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    I think in a relationship it’s helpful if both parties have a reasonably similar level of income.

    i dated a girl 10 or so years ago who was from Tipp, living in Dublin, renting, running a car all on about a 31,000 / 32,000 salary, a customer service rep for an insurance company ...at the time I was on about 39,000

    id consider myself a generous person who likes also to enjoy life.... she liked to enjoy life, nights out, dinner, weekends away but fûck she hated putting her hand in her purse.... yes she’d rent to pay and a car to keep but barring the odd glass of something in a pub that she make a big deal of... it was on me.... got fed up of it.

    it didn’t work out for various reasons, she ended up being a whiny self centered melt but the lack of disposable income to help was becoming an issue too...

    id have earned a lot more then my current girlfriend but those roles will be reversed as she has completed her masters and is getting her own business up and running which has gone better then either of our wildest dreams would have envisioned so quickly.... I’m currently up-skilling and hopefully that will lead to meeting her wage profile ballpark anyway and I think that’s a reasonable platform for stability...



  • Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    I dated a guy who had less money than me. In fact he was as close to homeless as one could be tbh.


    But ..He GOT IT.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,940 ✭✭✭Padre_Pio


    Very.


    Good jobs to women are like good looks to men.

    Its rare to see either single for long.



  • Registered Users Posts: 28 veil


    All I can say is women differs in many perspective......



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Women in general marry only at their own level or higher. So if the woman is earning 30k, the man should earn at least that, preferably more. This is why it's more difficult for highly paid or very intelligent women to find a spouse.

    A highly intelligent man, or a man earning 150k or more generally will marry at that level or down.



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,515 ✭✭✭Buddy Bubs


    I'm male and have had plenty of dates/short term relationships over the years and was only asked once about my income (and that was a first date, massive turn off). I've been asked what I do for a living plenty of times but that's general conversation.

    I did always get it out there pretty early myself that I had my **** together, owned a house, drove nice car, had a circle of friends and hobbies but never found women overly interested in what my cash flow could do to help them maintain a lifestyle. However, I probably have dated women in good jobs most of the time.

    Current GF/fiance I am on quite a bit more than her but even before we met she had left a soul destroying job for a lower paid public sector job but still earned pretty well. She pays her own way for household and day to day, and it works for us. I do most of the treat nights though, but that's really on my insistence. We are going to Aviva on Sunday for rugby match, I bought the tickets (€150 for 2) and will go for a ramble around town after and get some food and a fewdrinks which she will probably pay for (€80 to €100 or so I'd guess, might be more). But a €250 to €300 day out is not completely on me and I love her for it.

    All the women I know want financial security alright but so do all the men. I don't think many want to be kept women or have access to a no limit credit card. Yes, there are some but I'm telling you now if there were men out there with the option to be bankrolled some would too. I actually know 1 or 2 women that have dumped male long term partners who tried to freeload.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Finiancial security is important for everyone I think. No-one that I know of wants to be in a realationship where the other parthner is financially dependent on them. Once established or after having kids they may make financial choices together to inprove their qualify of life. It also depends on your age and how well you know the person before you begin dating. I would have gone out with people who earn less than me in my early twenties as we were figuring out life paths and careers. Apart from it’s always been similarish i’d say from their work profile. I would never have considered dating someone unemployed or as a previous poster said without their **** together. I possibly would if I knew the person beforehand and could trust that they would get their **** together. I now earn more than my husband as he works part-time but that was a decision that works well for us both lifrstyle wise and was made together. We are also financially secure.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I might just qualify my statement there. I have come across people who would love to depend on others financially male and female but the majority are female. Most don’t succeed in this as their parthners would not agree. Some do but not many in my experience. It’s more of a pipedream for most.

    A work ethic is a great thing in my opinion. All work is not nessecarily renoumerated either. I know others who earn little but are constantly working for the good of their family or community. It’s a mixed bag really but if one is happy with how work (care duties - home/children etc. and money earned) is shared sure that’s the main thing.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,239 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    I swear this site has been infested by some incel like man-babies who'll come up with any excuse for women having no interest in them, rather than except that maybe they just have a **** personality.


    OP, for some women the income of their partner is important, and some will be gold-diggers, and then you'll have the majority of women who won't care so much.



  • Registered Users Posts: 13,411 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    I don't know why I'm bothering, but I've been married. And when it ended I walked away from the house, the contents and signed away all my rights to my ex's extremely lucrative army pension, despite the howls of protest from my solicitor. I genuinely have no interest in somebody else's money.

    If every woman you've ever met is a gold-digging cynic, perhaps you'd be better served examining how you keep meeting them?



  • Registered Users Posts: 13,879 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    I earn about 50k, going out with someone a few months and she's a doctor and will be a consultant soon. No idea what she earns and don't really want to ask but I imagine absolutely sh*t loads.

    I never thought someone like her would be interested in a lowly drone like myself, but I have my sh*t together financially and my own little house. Also she's 37 so tick tock!

    Reality is if you're good looking and sound and look after yourself these things aren't that much of an issue, so that's me sorted.



  • Registered Users Posts: 19,114 ✭✭✭✭Donald Trump




  • Registered Users Posts: 19,114 ✭✭✭✭Donald Trump



    At 37 you might be in danger as being seen as the scrapings at the bottom of her proverbial barrel ............. last chance saloon for the good doctor........... 😋



    (joking ...kind of .....would be a good catch alright for a fella in his 50's)



  • Registered Users Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Hyperbollix


    50k is a sort of magic number though where you can afford a nice lifestyle, eating out, new cars, plenty of travel, basically no need to be penny pinching. So once you achieve that, even if the woman is on multiples of that, you are both in a decent position and on some kind of level playing field.

    The problem arises more where the guy is on 25/30/35k or a lower status job which puts him in a vastly different position to the high achieving woman. That, more often than not, is going nowhere.



  • Registered Users Posts: 16,055 ✭✭✭✭Loafing Oaf




  • Registered Users Posts: 13,879 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    I'm 41! But yes the dating world is great at my age, they're practically lining up in their late 30s if you're a decent guy!



  • Registered Users Posts: 535 ✭✭✭Ekerot




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  • Registered Users Posts: 35,726 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    So what you're saying is your standards are extremely low.



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