How important is a man's job when it comes to dating?

25-11-2021 1:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118200736#Comment_118200736

Would appreciate any further input. Thanks.

seenitall · 25-11-2021 5:55pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118220390#Comment_118220390

lol

funneh

25-11-2021 6:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118220330#Comment_118220330

Ah here - what's that in aid of? Bit smug. I unsubscribed ages ago - haven't read it since my last post to it. It's going around in circles.

I accept saying a man's income is important to women isn't the same as saying women are gold digging freeloaders. But also, wealth is not important to many women. Income is important to men too, insofar as they wouldn't want to be with a freeloader (which is completely reasonable).

25-11-2021 10:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118223082#Comment_118223082

For which jobs?

grassmoon · 26-11-2021 6:23pm

SharpshooterTom · 28-11-2021 1:28am

I'm a 35 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend, been kissed or even been on a date.

I'm thinking about going into a career in actuary and if I'm successful I could be making close to 150k later on.

Still probably likely die a kissless virgin.

28-11-2021 1:55am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118234167#Comment_118234167

May I ask what you think contributes to your lack of romantic activity?

28-11-2021 2:38am

When it comes to salary, I would think with a new partner it might lead to annoyance if their was a disparity between our wages. If he earned far more than what I earn, I wouldn't want to feel that I would be living off him or having to keep up with his lifestyle. Earning less than me,I might get annoyed with how well he could pick up the tab on different things. Now maybe, we could manoeuvre this, if we are both mature and respectful enough. It is common in relationships for one to be a bread winner

Depends too on the attitude to saving and spending. I would be interested in a person who is good with money and looks to the long term. If I was in my 20's, I would have a different attitude. A person is mature if their able to look out for their finances and seek help too if needed

I would be turned off by someone who is working in a job that they complain about for years. We all need to be in jobs that are demoralising for a certain period of time to for financial reasons and to prevent gaps in their cv. If a person is still in a job they hate, it would show that they can't take control over their own life.

I would be attracted to someone who is making prudent choices to obtain their dream job and the job they are passionate about.

I wouldn't dismiss someone who's career I know nothing about, it depends on what they are like as a person.

I would not be interested by a guy who's job, I don't agree with, such as being a manager in a bookies, or into greyhound racing

All this could apply to women too

Harryd225 · 28-11-2021 3:44am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058218491/how-important-is-a-mans-job-when-it-comes-to-dating

It depends how high your standards are, a lot of people don't understand exactly how that kind of thing works but basically if you have a great personality, very charismatic, good looking and confident then you don't need a great job or to be earning a lot of money to get good looking girls but for the more average men then yes without a good job/status it is going to be a struggle, not impossible but a struggle.

The reason for this is women have so many options compared to men so at first you are going to need something to attract her and get you the chance to win her over, girls with rich/successful men most of the time will say they are not gold diggers which is probably true but if the man didn't have that wealth/success he would have never attracted her interest and respect to get the time to spend with her for the feelings/love to eventually grow.

Harryd225 · 28-11-2021 3:46am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185880#Comment_118185880

Tbh with ye pal doubt he was that lucky that girl probably looks like a drag victim😂

Juran · 28-11-2021 4:37pm

My husband is one of 12 senior directors in a large technology company.

9 are male, 3 are female.

The majority of the male directors wives are stay at home mothers. When they did work many years ago, they had low paying admin level jobs, no one gave up a good career such as scientist, teacher, nurse, engineer (as examples). I am the only partner/wife who earns a high salary, and also at director level in pharma industry, about the same earnings as my husband.

The husbands of the 3 female directors all work in high paid jobs eg. IT director, doctor. The female directors all have kids, and I know they work long hours, same as their male colleagues.

I think this example reflects the statistics, that educated career driven women do factor in men's education and career (which in turns affects earning power) when dating. And that men who are climbing the corporate ladder tend not to look at career and earnings when dating, perhaps as their primary requirment may be a homemaker and mother of his future children.

I am not saying all men look for this, but the majority do. Take a look at male directors, CEO's, high earners, etc. In your company, or a business or office you are familiar with. How many of those high earning men are married to high earning women ?

jmlad2020 · 28-11-2021 4:52pm

Here's your answer. A resounding yes - Women prefer successful, more well-off men who can provide for them.

If she is on 120k and he is on 70k but is a professional rugby player then his fame will overshadow his lower wage

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118235787#Comment_118235787

Thelonious Monk · 28-11-2021 5:10pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118234167#Comment_118234167

I'll suck you off for 2 grand

JustJoe7240 · 28-11-2021 5:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118234167#Comment_118234167

Weren't you going to become a dentist a few months back? Assuming you're picking a career based on income, not a wise move.

SharpshooterTom · 28-11-2021 9:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118234206#Comment_118234206

Social anxiety for the most part, not being able to connect with people or make any friends. I've been a lifelong loner that nobody wants to hang around with, I'm not very likeable, so I've also avoided social situations thinking no would want me, which has meant my social skills have suffered too. I've obviously have experienced severe depression in the past and frequently consider suicide.

I'm having therapy right now actually for social anxiety for the first time (should've been done a long time ago). We're making good progress, I'm improving my social skills, putting myself out there, putting techniques we've discussed into action and trying to strike up conversations. Still come across as socially awkward and some probably think I'm weird as **** but I'm improving. Its not easy. I particularly have social anxiety talking to the opposite sex so I'm trying to develop social skills with women too (in a platonic way, not sexual or appear to look like I'm chatting them up).

I'm worried obviously about dying a virgin and never being in a relationship. I get the grass isn't always greener with these things, but since I'm not naturally asexual or aromantic, it hurts me and I don't want to be like this all my life.

But I've been a hermit for too long avoiding social situations and my social skills have suffered so I have to put myself out there, join clubs, make sure I do occasionally talk to women etc. I currently work in factory, but thinking about doing bar work next (never been in a nightclub, no joke). Its going to require effort obviously, but I hope its not too late at some point to have a relationship. I don't look hideous since I know women have tried to approach me, but couldn't get past my awkwardness and I just end up running away from them anyway.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118235938#Comment_118235938

I'd love to be a dentist. The problem is nearly all potential pathways are blocked. The only prospective pathway is to go abroad to study dentistry in Europe or Canada (I have Canadian citizenship). If I want to go to Canada I would need a first class honours (in any subject) since its a graduate degree over North America, so I'm thinking about going to university next year to study Maths or Pharmacy.

I'm considering career in Actuarial Science although I'll be honest I've struggled to fall in love with corporate office work, I've worked in an engineering company and I found office work unsatisfying back then, although that was 10 years ago and I was already severely depressed due to other reasons. However it does suit my skillset since Maths is my strongest subject (particularly statistics), work life balance is very good, and yes the pay is excellent, which is important at my age.

I'm more interested in a healthcare career, as I find helping people more rewarding, so I am considering Pharmacy. But everyone moans about Pharmacy saying its a shite career don't do it, job saturation, everyone is looking to leave etc, which is off putting, its not as well paid as Actuarial Science but it does interest me, especially hospital Pharmacy.

Mad_maxx · 28-11-2021 9:50pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118237103#Comment_118237103

Don't loose hope buddy, might be worth booking yourself a break away abroad, you're fear about looking out of place is more likely to disappear when it comes to nightclubs etc , spend a bit on you're appearance and then chat to some women, who cares if you die on you're ass the first few times.

All about doing an apprenticeship

28-11-2021 10:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118237103#Comment_118237103

It sounds like you're going about the things the right way with therapy and the progress you've made. You should definitely keep that up.

When I was in my early adult years I was very much like that, I'd barely speak to women back then though I did have friends so I probably wasn't as socially anxious as you. Thankfully I managed to work my way out of it (going to the gym was a big help, something to consider) and I had plenty of success after that. You definitely have plenty of time to turn things around, 35 is still young enough.

PS: Joining social groups like hiking groups, etc, is a good way to meet women without the pressure of "chatting them up". Like you said, making platonic female friends might be the right first step.

mariaalice · 29-11-2021 12:01pm

I am a great people watcher so in a cafe with my husband yesterday afternoon I was watching a couple.

He was in his mid-late to mid-30s sitting across from his date, he was stroking his beard and occasionally leaning forward to her, she never leaned forward to him though from the body language I would say there were both interested in each other but he was slightly more keen than she was.

They were probably on the 4 or 5 date

You could almost here him thinking last chance salon here.

The sad thing is they both reeked of being very cautious so instead of meeting someone being a bit of fun, it has all become something complicated that they have to be cautious about.