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First Dates Ireland *read first post*

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    #7532
    Beechwoodspark
    Registered Users Posts: 15,405 ✭✭✭✭Beechwoodspark


    I think it showed a certain meanness from Barbara that she seemed to be offended by him asking to split the Bill

    - perfectly reasonable in 2021

    We don’t know his circumstances financially etc

    She applied to go on the show.

    Just in case people are unclear about this I want to repeat - He did NOT invite her out. (Maybe then situation is different)

    She applied to go on a date the same as he did.

    Why was she so “offended” by him casually asking to go halves on the bill?


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    #7533
    California Dreamer
    Registered Users Posts: 2,531 ✭✭✭California Dreamer


    Beechwoodspark wrote: »
    I think it showed a certain meanness from Barbara that she seemed to be offended by him asking to split the Bill

    - perfectly reasonable in 2021

    We don’t know his circumstances financially etc

    She applied to go on the show.

    Just in case people are unclear about this I want to repeat - He did NOT invite her out. (Maybe then situation is different)

    She applied to go on a date the same as he did.

    Why was she so “offended” by him casually asking to go halves on the bill?


    Is it not just the perception that the men pay!!!

    Just as a side note, and we do not actually know but would the producers of the show, coco television give them the cost of the meal back?


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    #7534
    Beechwoodspark
    Registered Users Posts: 15,405 ✭✭✭✭Beechwoodspark


    California Dreamer wrote: »
    Is it not just the perception that the men pay!!!

    Just as a side note, and we do not actually know but would the producers of the show, coco television give them the cost of the meal back?

    No, not at all

    Years ago it was when a man “invited” a lady out on a date then yes the regular thing was he paid

    This show set up is completely different

    Barbara was NOT invited on a date by him. She applied to go on the show and then the producers selected her.

    I don’t understand why she reacted so poorly to being asked to pay half. It shows a pure meanness from her.

    A sort of “don’t ask me. I’m above paying” attitude


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    #7535
    California Dreamer
    Registered Users Posts: 2,531 ✭✭✭California Dreamer


    Beechwoodspark wrote: »

    A sort of “don’t ask me. I’m above paying” attitude


    Many will disagree but I thought she was quite uncouth compared to him.


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    #7536
    gmisk
    Registered Users Posts: 32,304 ✭✭✭✭gmisk


    California Dreamer wrote: »
    Is it not just the perception that the men pay!!!

    Just as a side note, and we do not actually know but would the producers of the show, coco television give them the cost of the meal back?
    I think someone mentioned they give them 30 euro each towards meal


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    #7537
    PhilOssophy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭PhilOssophy


    I thought Barbara was nice albeit potentially a bit Edna Krabappel the way she was talking. I was sure Miley from Glenroe was going to get another date until he made a complete mess of the bill situation. I know it is 2021 but why not just pay the €50 and see where it went after that, lots of time to find out if she's high maintenance.
    I thought Donna and Joseph McCaul seemed like a good match but I wouldn't be sure she wouldn't be an insufferable individual.
    The gay guys were the nicest gays on the series to date. They seemed really nice.
    The other couple were a bit meh for me. He was nice, she was a motormouth.
    It wasn't a great episode for me.


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    #7538
    VonLuck
    Registered Users Posts: 2,188 ✭✭✭VonLuck


    I think the rule should be that either party should suggest to pay for the whole thing to start off with (regardless of gender or sexual orientation). If you're interested in seeing the other person again you should be willing to pay for both meals to show that you had a good time. If the other person suggests going halves, you should feel free to accept regardless of how the date went.


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    #7539
    thesandeman
    Registered Users Posts: 10,128 ✭✭✭✭thesandeman


    Is "splitsies" even a word that is used? I've never heard it before. Maybe it's a Dublin expression?


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    #7540
    Beechwoodspark
    Registered Users Posts: 15,405 ✭✭✭✭Beechwoodspark


    PhilOssophy wrote: »
    I thought Barbara was nice albeit potentially a bit Edna Krabappel the way she was talking. I was sure Miley from Glenroe was going to get another date until he made a complete mess of the bill situation. I know it is 2021 but why not just pay the €50 and see where it went after that, lots of time to find out if she's high maintenance.
    I thought Donna and Joseph McCaul seemed like a good match but I wouldn't be sure she wouldn't be an insufferable individual.
    The gay guys were the nicest gays on the series to date. They seemed really nice.
    The other couple were a bit meh for me. He was nice, she was a motormouth.
    It wasn't a great episode for me.

    Donna and Joseph mccaul !!! I knew they reminded me of someone but couldn’t pin it down


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    #7541
    PhilOssophy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,114 ✭✭✭PhilOssophy


    VonLuck wrote: »
    I think the rule should be that either party should suggest to pay for the whole thing to start off with (regardless of gender or sexual orientation). If you're interested in seeing the other person again you should be willing to pay for both meals to show that you had a good time. If the other person suggests going halves, you should feel free to accept regardless of how the date went.

    Why would they do that - it is one of the only things people talk about every week!


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    #7542
    VonLuck
    Registered Users Posts: 2,188 ✭✭✭VonLuck


    PhilOssophy wrote: »
    Why would they do that - it is one of the only things people talk about every week!

    I mean as a principle in dating!


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    #7543
    dobman88
    Registered Users Posts: 6,463 ✭✭✭dobman88


    Barbara dodged a bullet with yer man. If he is doing that om a 1st date to "test her" then what kind of mind games would he be at if they met again. Fcuk that. A total gobshíte he was at the end. Lucky escape for her.


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    #7544
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    How are we even having this debate this week after seeing how weird and scabby someone looks when they apply the “well it’s 2021, it’s only fair” attitude to real life and starting insisting the other pays half?

    First off, as has been said, you can leave it until some other time to find out if she’s the type to try bleed you dry financially, it’s not something you’ll find out in that environment anyway.

    Secondly, lads do you know how much it costs for a women to get their hair done compared to us? Make-up etc? Getting dolled up for a night out is in a different stratosphere, expense-wise, for women than men when we just need to jump in the shower and, at most, iron a shirt.

    Just pay the €50 on your already-subsidised date FFS.


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    #7545
    Beechwoodspark
    Registered Users Posts: 15,405 ✭✭✭✭Beechwoodspark


    dobman88 wrote: »
    Barbara dodged a bullet with yer man. If he is doing that om a 1st date to "test her" then what kind of mind games would he be at if they met again. Fcuk that. A total gobshíte he was at the end. Lucky escape for her.

    I think it was more he very reasonably asked her to split the Bill

    Then she had a complete over reaction to that, so he tried to “walk it back”.

    I still don’t know why she didn’t just split the Bill and move on.


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    #7546
    dobman88
    Registered Users Posts: 6,463 ✭✭✭dobman88


    Beechwoodspark wrote: »
    I think it was more he very reasonably asked her to split the Bill

    Then she had a complete over reaction to that, so he tried to “walk it back”.

    I still don’t know why she didn’t just split the Bill and move on.

    Tbh I couldnt disagree with you more. He had a 2nd date locked up. It looked like they had had a good time. He should have at least offered to pay and not jump in with "splitsies". Its not a teenage trip to the cinema.

    His attempt to walk it back was also brutal. Honestly it's a sign of someone playing stupid mind games with the I was only testing you shtick. Why test her? What was the point.

    Showed himself up horribly there.


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    #7547
    Beechwoodspark
    Registered Users Posts: 15,405 ✭✭✭✭Beechwoodspark


    dobman88 wrote: »
    Tbh I couldnt disagree with you more. He had a 2nd date locked up. It looked like they had had a good time. He should have at least offered to pay and not jump in with "splitsies". Its not a teenage trip to the cinema.

    His attempt to walk it back was also brutal. Honestly it's a sign of someone playing stupid mind games with the I was only testing you shtick. Why test her? What was the point.

    Showed himself up horribly there.

    Why was it such a huge issue for her to be asked to split the Bill??

    Why is it “taboo” for him to ask to split it.

    Maybe he had no intention of saying yes to another date with her?


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    #7548
    PARlance
    Registered Users Posts: 21,107 ✭✭✭✭PARlance


    As a happily married bloke, I'll be honest and say that on occasion, you do miss the chance to be free to drop a chat up line like..."what's going on in your life apart from the general macro environment"

    Oh to be young free and single.


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    #7549
    dobman88
    Registered Users Posts: 6,463 ✭✭✭dobman88


    Beechwoodspark wrote: »
    Why was it such a huge issue for her to be asked to split the Bill??

    Why is it “taboo” for him to ask to split it.

    Maybe he had no intention of saying yes to another date with her?

    That's the thing. If he had no intention of saying yes and he went first at the end to say no instead of this nonsense of oh no ladies first. We wouldn't be talking about him asking to split it. It would have been a case of ag fair enough he wanted to split it cos he had no interest.

    But he pretty much made her go first. He came across really badly.


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    #7550
    AMKC
    Registered Users Posts: 15,735 ✭✭✭✭AMKC
    Ms


    Not a great episode of First dates. They were all unlikable except for your one with the red hair and him with the glasses and your one from Mayo. Otherwise all the rest were for off themselves especially your man who tried to split the bill with you one he was so full of himself. Something very shady about him. I did not like him at alm and she was very lucky he said no in the end. As for your one from Mayo and though your man was an ejit to say no but she deserves better anyway.


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    #7551
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 9,007 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    The guy who said no to the mayo girl, is up himself for some reason, she dodged a bullet there.

    Barbara showed herself up as a bit of a golddigger and I know it is 2021 but id say he is as tight as a frogs arse, he will get some slagging for that comment, like he is 60 so should be somewhat old school.


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    #7552
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    Another thing worth factoring in is that, whatever about the “it’s 2021” ****e, it was a really random gear change for a date that was going quite well. Like it came across as challenging or confrontational when there had just been no need. We don’t even know if she’d have offered or insisted to pay because he didn’t even give her a chance before making it a ‘thing’ and getting stuck in his own head about issues or ‘rules’ he has.

    I remember, for example, I went on a date that was going really well and it got to a point where we’re walking through the city and it felt like we were naturally going to kiss. When that happened, she just changed completely and said some waffle about how she has a rule against kissing on first dates. I left it so and didn’t look to force the issue, she has no obligation to kiss if she doesn’t want to and it’s not like I’m absolutely desperate for a shift either, plus people can have these hang-ups for all kinds of fair reasons. But then she started acting weird, like it was a game where I really wanted to kiss her (I didn’t and wasn’t trying to) and she was holding out, like some weird power play. The next day I texted to say it’d been nice but I was gonna leave it. She seemed surprised and asked why, so I told her. At first she flipped and started acting all feminist like I was trying to force her to kiss me but I was able to calmly explain that the issue was it felt like she was playing a game with me and I’m not into that. She sent about 4-5 apology texts since (including one like a year later). I don’t regret that decision.

    Point is: regardless of the issue, it’s VERY jarring and off-putting when you’re on a first date, feel like you’re connecting and in-sync, and the other person just pulls the rug out from you and tries to play games/assert themselves as the alpha or whatever they’re thinking. And I’ve no sympathy for people that do that kinda stuff and end up holding their dick at the end of the night.


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    #7553
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,736 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    [quote="leggo;116835079"

    I remember, for example, I went on a date that was going really well and it got to a point where we’re walking through the city and it felt like we were naturally going to kiss. When that happened, she just changed completely and said some waffle about how she has a rule against kissing on first dates. I left it so and didn’t look to force the issue, she has no obligation to kiss if she doesn’t want to and it’s not like I’m absolutely desperate for a shift either, plus people can have these hang-ups for all kinds of fair reasons. But then she started acting weird, like it was a game where I really wanted to kiss her (I didn’t and wasn’t trying to) and she was holding out, like some weird power play. The next day I texted to say it’d been nice but I was gonna leave it. She seemed surprised and asked why, so I told her. At first she flipped and started acting all feminist like I was trying to force her to kiss me but I was able to calmly explain that the issue was it felt like she was playing a game with me and I’m not into that. She sent about 4-5 apology texts since (including one like a year later). I don’t regret that decision..[/quote]

    You sure dodged a bullet there!!! Fair play to you for recognising it or it would have been a relationship full of drama and tests and dancing to her tune. The begging a full year later - yikes imagine what breaking up with her had you been dating for months would have been like!


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    #7554
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,344 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    dobman88 wrote: »
    Tbh I couldnt disagree with you more. He had a 2nd date locked up. It looked like they had had a good time. He should have at least offered to pay and not jump in with "splitsies". Its not a teenage trip to the cinema.

    His attempt to walk it back was also brutal. Honestly it's a sign of someone playing stupid mind games with the I was only testing you shtick. Why test her? What was the point.

    Showed himself up horribly there.

    Didn't just shoot himself in foot....he used a bazooka....and then reloaded and fired again with his ridiculous attempt at " reversing"


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    #7555
    KevRossi
    Registered Users Posts: 4,437 ✭✭✭KevRossi


    Beechwoodspark wrote: »
    Why was it such a huge issue for her to be asked to split the Bill??

    Why is it “taboo” for him to ask to split it.

    Maybe he had no intention of saying yes to another date with her?

    I've just watched it back a couple of times. A bit like VAR, or an action replay, you tend to see things a bit differently the second time round. I got the feeling last night that as the date went on, he just wasn't 100% into her. I think that even more watching it the second time round.

    As someone said above, he may have felt she was a bit 'uncouth'. He was thrown a bit when she said 'GFF' - 'Good for a ****'. He is after all a Foxrock lad, maybe he wants someone more demure in personality.

    When you listen to his comments afterwards when he is alone in the 'interview room', he certainly wasn't gushing about her, there were no real butterflies.

    I think he regrets offering to split it as it made him look bad, or maybe he just saw something in her reaction. She agreed to split immediately, but she was thrown, you could see that. I think she would have been happy for a second date if he had either offered to pay, or if he had gone first in the interview room. Either way she's of a generation where she expected to be treated the first night out, that didn't happen.

    It's an odd one, as she seems to have everything going for her, but we only get to see 10-15 mins of 2 hours, maybe he made his mind up long before the bill arrived.

    I just think, as good looking she is, that he just wasn't into her, nothing wrong with that.


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    #7556
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Pussyhands wrote: »
    Rachel (red head) is a twitter personality. Probably just went on to have some content for her twitter.

    Ultra woke also.

    " Ultra Woke "

    Well I'd never have guessed


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    #7557
    JimmyCorkhill
    Registered Users Posts: 373 ✭✭JimmyCorkhill


    California Dreamer wrote: »
    Many will disagree but I thought she was quite uncouth compared to him.

    Southside v Northside thing do you think....


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    #7558
    ohnonotgmail
    Registered Users Posts: 40,310 ✭✭✭✭ohnonotgmail


    KevRossi wrote: »
    I've just watched it back a couple of times. A bit like VAR, or an action replay, you tend to see things a bit differently the second time round. I got the feeling last night that as the date went on, he just wasn't 100% into her. I think that even more watching it the second time round.

    As someone said above, he may have felt she was a bit 'uncouth'. He was thrown a bit when she said 'GFF' - 'Good for a ****'. He is after all a Foxrock lad, maybe he wants someone more demure in personality.

    When you listen to his comments afterwards when he is alone in the 'interview room', he certainly wasn't gushing about her, there were no real butterflies.

    I think he regrets offering to split it as it made him look bad, or maybe he just saw something in her reaction. She agreed to split immediately, but she was thrown, you could see that. I think she would have been happy for a second date if he had either offered to pay, or if he had gone first in the interview room. Either way she's of a generation where she expected to be treated the first night out, that didn't happen.

    It's an odd one, as she seems to have everything going for her, but we only get to see 10-15 mins of 2 hours, maybe he made his mind up long before the bill arrived.

    I just think, as good looking she is, that he just wasn't into her, nothing wrong with that.

    did he not say he fancied her?


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    #7559
    JimmyCorkhill
    Registered Users Posts: 373 ✭✭JimmyCorkhill


    KevRossi wrote: »
    I've just watched it back a couple of times. A bit like VAR, or an action replay, you tend to see things a bit differently the second time round. I got the feeling last night that as the date went on, he just wasn't 100% into her. I think that even more watching it the second time round.

    As someone said above, he may have felt she was a bit 'uncouth'. He was thrown a bit when she said 'GFF' - 'Good for a ****'. He is after all a Foxrock lad, maybe he wants someone more demure in personality.

    When you listen to his comments afterwards when he is alone in the 'interview room', he certainly wasn't gushing about her, there were no real butterflies.

    I think he regrets offering to split it as it made him look bad, or maybe he just saw something in her reaction. She agreed to split immediately, but she was thrown, you could see that. I think she would have been happy for a second date if he had either offered to pay, or if he had gone first in the interview room. Either way she's of a generation where she expected to be treated the first night out, that didn't happen.

    It's an odd one, as she seems to have everything going for her, but we only get to see 10-15 mins of 2 hours, maybe he made his mind up long before the bill arrived.

    I just think, as good looking she is, that he just wasn't into her, nothing wrong with that.

    Maybe he genuinely felt intimidated by her looks, he was really punching in terms of looks. Some guys and girls do get intimidated,doubt themselves if the other person is a lot better looking.

    It is not all about looks, far from it but for some people it can mean a lot.


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    #7560
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    PhilOssophy wrote: »
    I thought Barbara was nice albeit potentially a bit Edna Krabappel the way she was talking. I was sure Miley from Glenroe was going to get another date until he made a complete mess of the bill situation. I know it is 2021 but why not just pay the €50 and see where it went after that, lots of time to find out if she's high maintenance.
    I thought Donna and Joseph McCaul seemed like a good match but I wouldn't be sure she wouldn't be an insufferable individual.
    The gay guys were the nicest gays on the series to date. They seemed really nice.
    The other couple were a bit meh for me. He was nice, she was a motormouth.
    It wasn't a great episode for me.

    The milenials with the glasses were both insufferable, they are a great match

    Incredibly boring people, hope they are very happy


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    #7561
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,505 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    JimmyCorkhill wrote: »
    Maybe he genuinely felt intimidated by her looks, he was really punching in terms of looks. Some guys and girls do get intimidated,doubt themselves if the other person is a lot better looking.

    It is not all about looks, far from it but for some people it can mean a lot.

    She was way out of his league and quite sexually forthright ( in a really attractive way I might add ), perhaps he was intimidated, maybe he deliberately sabotaged the date ?


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