Filthy atheists stealing our Christmas

MrPudding · 01-11-2017 11:31am

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Jaysus. This thread gets earlier every year :rolleyes:

Just like the appearance of Christmas trees. In fairness, I think it is actually a little later than last year.

MrP

kylith · 01-11-2017 12:24pm

We've done some work in the house and now the corner I was going to put the tree in (the first year I can actually get a real tree!) won't do. Maybe I could put it on rails...

MrPudding · 01-11-2017 2:17pm

kylith wrote: »

We've done some work in the house and now the corner I was going to put the tree in (the first year I can actually get a real tree!) won't do. Maybe I could put it on rails...

We have moved house fairly recently, and now have really high ceilings, so will be able to get a nice big tree this year. So happy. We also have a tree in the garden that must be close to 100 feet tall, trying to figure out how to get lights on it.

MrP

kylith · 01-11-2017 3:09pm

MrPudding wrote: »

We have moved house fairly recently, and now have really high ceilings, so will be able to get a nice big tree this year. So happy. We also have a tree in the garden that must be close to 100 feet tall, trying to figure out how to get lights on it.

MrP

Tie one end of the lights to something and use a catapult?

MrPudding · 01-11-2017 3:20pm

kylith wrote: »

Tie one end of the lights to something and use a catapult?

I was think of using one of the kids... Perhaps all of them, make it a competition.

MrP

begbysback · 01-11-2017 3:25pm

Would have thought MrPudding was in the same camp as turkeys when it comes to Christmas

MrPudding · 01-11-2017 4:17pm

begbysback wrote: »

Would have thought MrPudding was in the same camp as turkeys when it comes to Christmas

Why?

MrP

recedite · 01-11-2017 5:10pm

begbysback wrote: »

Would have thought MrPudding was in the same camp as turkeys when it comes to Christmas

Well there's two brothers; Plum and Rice. Not sure which one our friend is.

Damn. I was trying not to contribute to or encourage this thread until December :mad:

looksee · 01-11-2017 7:33pm

MrPudding wrote: »

We have moved house fairly recently, and now have really high ceilings, so will be able to get a nice big tree this year. So happy. We also have a tree in the garden that must be close to 100 feet tall, trying to figure out how to get lights on it.

MrP

Persuade a neighbouring cat to run up it then call out the fire brigade and say, just fasten this wire to the top of the tree while you are up there, would you lads.:P

iguana · 01-11-2017 8:18pm

MrPudding wrote: »

We have moved house fairly recently, and now have really high ceilings, so will be able to get a nice big tree this year. So happy. We also have a tree in the garden that must be close to 100 feet tall, trying to figure out how to get lights on it.

MrP

Projecting lights onto it would be the simplest and cheapest way to light it.

MrPudding · 01-11-2017 9:20pm

iguana wrote: »

Projecting lights onto it would be the simplest and cheapest way to light it.

Good idea. Will look into that.

MrP

smokingman · 01-11-2017 9:59pm

Find someone with a drone, attach rope light and fly in a conical path around it.

....plus you get to fly a drone

recedite · 01-11-2017 10:45pm

.... or crash somebody else's drone.

recedite · 01-11-2017 10:46pm

But you could send a cat up to retrieve the drone. Or a groundhog.

smacl · 01-11-2017 10:59pm

recedite wrote: »

But you could send a cat up to retrieve the drone. Or a groundhog.

A crashed drone and half strangled cat could also make for some interesting and thought provoking Xmas decorations for one of those edgy atheist types

Hotblack Desiato · 01-11-2017 11:28pm

recedite wrote: »

Well there's two brothers; Plum and Rice. Not sure which one our friend is.

He could be a breakfast roll / fry-up pudding kinda guy.

Peregrinus · 02-11-2017 2:29am

looksee wrote: »

Persuade a neighbouring cat to run up it then call out the fire brigade and say, just fasten this wire to the top of the tree while you are up there, would you lads.:P

Just tie the one end of the wire to the cat before you chase it up the tree. No need to bother the fire brigade at all.

Or you could just set fire to the tree. A brief but spectacular Christmas display!

MrPudding · 02-11-2017 8:10am

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

He could be a breakfast roll / fry-up pudding kinda guy.

If you saw me you would know this was the correct pudding.

Peregrinus wrote: »

Just tie the one end of the wire to the cat before you chase it up the tree. No need to bother the fire brigade at all.

Or you could just set fire to the tree. A brief but spectacular Christmas display!

I think if I set fire to the tree I would need to find somewhere else to live.

I like the drone idea, mostly because it has a drone in it...

MrP

pauldla · 02-11-2017 8:18am

MrPudding wrote: »

If you saw me you would know this was the correct pudding.

I think if I set fire to the tree I would need to find somewhere else to live.

I like the drone idea, mostly because it has a drone in it...

MrP

Set fire to the drone. And the tree. And the cat.

Peregrinus · 02-11-2017 8:18am

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

He could be a breakfast roll / fry-up pudding kinda guy.

MrPudding wrote: »

If you saw me you would know this was the correct pudding.

Now I have a horrifying picture in my mind of MrP as a sort of black pudding on legs.

MrPudding · 02-11-2017 9:53am

Peregrinus wrote: »

Now I have a horrifying picture in my mind of MrP as a sort of black pudding on legs.

Whatever picture you have, it is not horrifying enough.

MrP

MrPudding · 02-11-2017 9:54am

pauldla wrote: »

Set fire to the drone. And the tree. And the cat.

I think we have a winner...

MrP

recedite · 02-11-2017 11:13am

Peregrinus wrote: »

Now I have a horrifying picture in my mind of MrP as a sort of black pudding on legs.

He could be a white pudding. Check your racist assumptions

Mr_A · 02-11-2017 3:21pm

If a flaming cat on a burning drone crashing spectacularly into a blazing tree doesn't capture the true spirit of Christmas then I don't know what does.

Samaris · 09-11-2017 9:40am

The problem with using a flamethrower is that the fuel invariably runs out at about 11AM on Christmas morning.

Icdeadpeepul · 18-11-2017 8:39pm

MrStuffins wrote: »

No fair is fair!

If you don't believe in Christ, you shouldn't celebrate Christmas!

My brother was at the Occupy Dame Street protest, so now he must refuse to accept the day off when it's a BANK Holiday!

It's just pure logic, no getting away from it!

I don't believe in gravity. Should I be floating away about now?

Peregrinus · 20-11-2017 2:16am

Judging by that post, I think you already are!

smacl · 20-11-2017 10:21am

robindch · 22-11-2017 9:15pm

Nominated for six, and winner of four, Golden Raspberries - Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Screenplay and Worst Screen Combo - Kirk Cameron's 2014 hit, Saving Christmas, is available on DVD and makes the perfect stocking-filler for a cross aunt or unhappy uncle. Its 79 minutes of sphincter-tightening drama will have the whole family briefly on the edge of their seats before they make a run for the gin.

Waste no time in seeing this film!

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/kirk_camerons_saving_christmas

smacl · 22-11-2017 10:19pm

robindch wrote: »

Nominated for six, and winner of four, Golden Raspberries - Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Screenplay and Worst Screen Combo - Kirk Cameron's 2014 hit, Saving Christmas, is available on DVD and makes the perfect stocking-filler for a cross aunt or unhappy uncle. Its 79 minutes of sphincter-tightening drama will have the whole family briefly on the edge of their seats before they make a run for the gin.

Waste no time in seeing this film!

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/kirk_camerons_saving_christmas

Call me an old fashioned traditionalist fuddy-duddy but I reckon we'll be sticking with the Futurama Xmas special again this year

smacl · 01-12-2017 10:47am

An enjoyable Viking take on Santy and Rudolph

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8W4d85IyJQ

Hotblack Desiato · 20-12-2018 3:53am

This thread gets resurrected earlier every year.

Oh wait...

Hotblack Desiato · 01-12-2020 2:16am

Bump

So, it's now December and the c-word (no, not that one, the other one) can be mentioned in polite company.

What filthy, christmas-stealing activities have you planned for this year?

Peregrinus · 01-12-2020 2:34am

Whatever they are, you're too late! Covid has got in ahead of you, and already stolen Christmas!

(In other words, this year the crowd that usually gets off on whingeing about atheists/liberals/the woke stealing Christmas are getting all the jollies they can cope with by complaining about government pandemic control measures stealing Christmas. You won't hear a word about the atheists this year, unless it be a conspiracy theory about atheists promoting the Covid hoax as a master strategy for stealing Christmas and putting nanochips in the brandy butter, or something.)

Doctor DooM · 01-12-2020 11:12am

Peregrinus wrote: »

Whatever they are, you're too late! Covid has got in ahead of you, and already stolen Christmas!

(In other words, this year the crowd that usually gets off on whingeing about atheists/liberals/the woke stealing Christmas are getting all the jollies they can cope with by complaining about government pandemic control measures stealing Christmas. You won't hear a word about the atheists this year, unless it be a conspiracy theory about atheists promoting the Covid hoax as a master strategy for stealing Christmas and putting nanochips in the brandy butter, or something.)

Having spent some time going down the Q Anon rabbit hole during the American elections, I believe it's currently the satanists rather than the atheists that are behind the covid hoax right now. Stay tuned though that could change.

Bannasidhe · 01-12-2020 11:19am

Peregrinus wrote: »

Whatever they are, you're too late! Covid has got in ahead of you, and already stolen Christmas!

(In other words, this year the crowd that usually gets off on whingeing about atheists/liberals/the woke stealing Christmas are getting all the jollies they can cope with by complaining about government pandemic control measures stealing Christmas. You won't hear a word about the atheists this year, unless it be a conspiracy theory about atheists promoting the Covid hoax as a master strategy for stealing Christmas and putting nanochips in the brandy butter, or something.)

Nanochips in the brandy butter?!?!

Do they think we are barbarians??!!

:mad:

Nanochips go in the sherry trifle.

smacl · 01-12-2020 11:47am

Peregrinus wrote: »

Whatever they are, you're too late! Covid has got in ahead of you, and already stolen Christmas!

(In other words, this year the crowd that usually gets off on whingeing about atheists/liberals/the woke stealing Christmas are getting all the jollies they can cope with by complaining about government pandemic control measures stealing Christmas. You won't hear a word about the atheists this year, unless it be a conspiracy theory about atheists promoting the Covid hoax as a master strategy for stealing Christmas and putting nanochips in the brandy butter, or something.)

How do we know some underhand Christian types aren't posting here using a 5G connection and trying to nefariously infect all the good folks of the A&A with their seasonal good cheer? Fetch me my shotgun, tinfoil hat and bottle of brandy? I'm really not ready for xmas just yet! :pac:

MrStuffins · 01-12-2020 12:12pm

smacl wrote: »

How do we know some underhand Christian types aren't posting here using a 5G connection ..............

The way I look at it is............

If they can reject science but still utilise it when they use their mobile phones, we can reject Christianity but still celebrate Christmas!

Everyone wins! Except us because we're going to hell and all but whatevs.

robindch · 01-12-2020 1:02pm

Bannasidhe wrote: »

Nanochips [...]

Screw the nanochips - it's square-cut, chunky chips all the way chez robindch this christmas!

Hotblack Desiato · 01-12-2020 1:56pm

How about nano-naglechips as a compromise?

Bannasidhe · 01-12-2020 2:23pm

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

How about nano-naglechips as a compromise?

They are served in Cork on Pugilism Day as an accompaniment to cold spiced boeuf a la saltpeter.

robindch · 01-12-2020 2:24pm

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

How about nano-naglechips as a compromise?

Maybe, but I'll not be serving soup then.

Odhinn · 01-12-2020 6:12pm

Remember - only 5 days left till Krampusnacht

robindch · 01-12-2020 6:28pm

Odhinn wrote: »

Remember - only 5 days left till Krampusnacht

New one to me - thanks, have added it to my list of deities/semi-deities + wannabees to scare small children with.

But good god, whoever came up with Krampus certainly wasn't fucking around, eh?

Bannasidhe · 01-12-2020 6:33pm

Odhinn wrote: »

Remember - only 5 days left till Krampusnacht

What wine does one serve with a Krampus?

atr2002 · 01-12-2020 6:35pm

Bannasidhe wrote: »

What wine does one serve with a Krampus?

You're not the one doing the eating when Krampus pays you a visit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6cVyoMH4QE

Bannasidhe · 01-12-2020 7:00pm

atr2002 wrote: »

You're not the one doing the eating when Krampus pays you a visit

Ah, I have cousins like that.
Locusts.

Odhinn · 01-12-2020 7:39pm

Bannasidhe wrote: »

What wine does one serve with a Krampus?

Loading up on the traditional tipple(s) of Brandy is apparently the practice.

Robindch wrote:

But good god, whoever came up with Krampus certainly wasn't fucking around, eh?

No, no they weren't.

robindch · 01-12-2020 7:54pm

Odhinn wrote: »

No, no they weren't.

Definitely a god I can get behind. Ideally by quite a long distance.

Seamai · 01-12-2020 7:55pm

Bannasidhe wrote: »

What wine does one serve with a Krampus?

Bull's blood.

Filthy atheists stealing our Christmas

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