Sh*te your co-workers say

Paddy Cow · 13-03-2019 4:25pm

fryup wrote: »

does anyone have the workplace bragger/know it all??

eg.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Z8pgV74_Hw

It's like the InBetweeners grew up and got jobs. Tim is Simon, the it guy is Jay and Dwight is Neil

divide_by_zero · 13-03-2019 4:29pm

Worked with a guy who would talk at you not to you about everything and anything. Hard man too, could batter the sh*te out of you if you looked at him the wrong way when in reality a summer breeze would knock him over.

God, it was draining having to listen him. I eventually started arriving to work a little bit earlier and putting headphones and ignoring all attempts at trying to get my attention - yes I can see you throwing around stuff on your desk no I'm not going to make any eye contact with you and give you an opening resulting in 40 mins of me not caring about Esther and your mother falling out.

magic_murph wrote: »

Anybody that tries to be full of cheer at 8:50 on a monday morning. Just stop

This rings so true not only for Monday morning but for any morning.

Mundo7976 · 13-03-2019 4:33pm

‘It is what it is’ WTF does this even mean!

yourdeadwright · 13-03-2019 4:34pm

Oh I forgot an older women who is near retirement ,

Most passive aggressive person I have ever meet , always a sly comment and dig at the end of every sentence , Gets away with it because she puts on a real nice fakeness .

No matter how goods someone's news is there will be a sly dig when she is talking about it ,could be marriage, kids, new house, but always has to get a dig in ,

Of course her kids where amazing and life was so fantastic for them and would constantly tell others in the office they should be married or have kids or own there own house by now,
Just a real C*NT,

Little did she know I knew her son inlaw and knew he had filed for a divorce ,
I probably shouldn't have lowered myself but next time she was giving one of the girls a hard time about how they should have there life together and be married to her fella of 7 years I dropped in that marriage isn't for everyone sure isn't your daughter divorced ?

She nearly died with the shock ,

We had a new lad start from the country, first job in Dublin first time he moved away from home ,she made his day a living hell speaking like dirt to him and getting him to do her work but of course it was all done out of ear shot of anyone else,

Poor lad never said a word thankfully myself and member of management over heard her one day and had a right go at her , the poor chap said it was going on for months,

She is a vile women ,

Paddy Cow · 13-03-2019 4:38pm

Deleted User wrote: »

"I'll revert to you."

Don't you mean "I'll revert back to you." :pac:

Zorya · 13-03-2019 4:39pm

Have never worked in an office, thanks be to goodness, but I did a degree some years ago that involved office style scenarios as there was computer work and desks. One lad sat next to me making sexual remarks like it was 1955, then he opened a tin of corned beef, stuck a fork in it, slid it all out in one piece on the end of the fork, and ate it loudly like it was an ice pop.

IK09 · 13-03-2019 4:40pm

I just have to say it. You people are all soft. If you have a problem, end it. End of. Grow some stones.

ct5amr2ig1nfhp · 13-03-2019 4:46pm

"pecifically" :mad:

The 's' is not f***ing silent!

Boom_Bap · 13-03-2019 4:47pm

"Let's schedule a meeting for this."

OK, so you want an hour long meeting but you could give me a simple Yes/No now?

Captain Red Beard · 13-03-2019 4:49pm

A few of the women I work with were nearly melting with rage last week because there was no skimmed low fat milk for their tea. And you can't wash down your crisps, chocolate, and cakes with regular milk in your tea. Tuesday till Friday this was the only conversation.

yourdeadwright · 13-03-2019 4:49pm

IK09 wrote: »

I just have to say it. You people are all soft. If you have a problem, end it. End of. Grow some stones.

Not that easy or straight forward unfortunately

I have to say over the years the things that have got to me most are how some people treat those who don't have the courage to stand up for themselves ,
Its very hard to intervene and the problem doesn't actually directly involve you ,

Also with the passive aggressive types its easy for other's who don't realise what's gone on to think your just losing your head ,

Lots of people put up with things in offices that they would not in the outside world for various different reason's

w/s/p/c/ · 13-03-2019 4:55pm

Paddy Cow wrote: »

It's like the InBetweeners grew up and got jobs. Tim is Simon, the it guy is Jay and Dwight is Neil

I am going to go all IT guy on you.

Who's Dwight? Never heard of him... Oh sorry this isn't Scranton in the US, his name is Gareth :P

(sorry couldn't resist)

ArnoldJRimmer · 13-03-2019 5:03pm

Him: 'Did you see the rugby at the weekend?'
Me: 'No, I'm not really interested in rugby' (as I tell you every week)
Him: 'Henshaw was class, and I can't believe Sexton missed that kick to touch.......' (Summary of the game goes on for around 15 minutes)

tomwaits48 · 13-03-2019 5:05pm

the twat that comes over to my desk during lunch while I am eating my lunch asking me a work question. same culprit every time. you sir, can go f*ck yourself.

EmmetSpiceland · 13-03-2019 5:06pm

Work hard, get promoted and get yourself an office.

It’s the only way to avoid the inane office chatter.

yourdeadwright · 13-03-2019 5:08pm

tomwaits48 wrote: »

the twat that comes over to my desk during lunch while I am eating my lunch asking me a work question. same culprit every time. you sir, can go f*ck yourself.

What a wa*ker

13-03-2019 5:09pm

Misery vampires, all up to date on the goings on of everyone around them. Saying things like "I know, isn't SHOCKING! I feel for them, I really do!" when you know, deep down, they don't give a fiddlers about anyone and love a bit of gossip and/or misfortune affecting someone.

I hope you die screaming, Karen from accounts.

TG1 · 13-03-2019 5:09pm

Someone tried to say in a team meeting that it wasn't fair that the smokers got cigarette breaks and they didn't... I pointed out she was more than welcome to split her 30 minute lunch breaks which last 45 minutes into four four minute trips outside the way myself and the other smoker do and it didn't go down well.

Same person said my coat hanging on the chair was a safety hazard and I should use the coat rack. I pointed out I was one of two smokers in a ten person office and didn't hang my coat there with the others as it would smell of smoke, and they didn't know what to say to that...

magic_murph · 13-03-2019 5:13pm

IK09 wrote: »

I just have to say it. You people are all soft. If you have a problem, end it. End of. Grow some stones.

Can we take this offline?

B_ecke_r · 13-03-2019 5:14pm

smokers do get away with murder to be fair

Wanderer2010 · 13-03-2019 5:28pm

The social bully. Usually a man child in his 40s with paper-thin skin who loves nothing more than to whisper to his followers about the flaws of his workmates, rip apart their character and generally be a nasty horrible pr!ck, all the while he gets people to listen to him because he is charismatic.
But when you slag off the same person, he gets all thick and moody and tries to bring the atmosphere down, I despise such people.

In most cases, such people thrive because their boss simply hasn't got the balls to tackle them or they actually like them as people and see no flaws.

Tomw86 · 13-03-2019 5:29pm

Had one manager who people used to despise - had a terrible attitude and was very sex1st, made no excuse for it!

Used to annoy me with the following;

''Touch base''

''Can I borrow you for a minute at my desk''

and best of all - ''In retrospective hindsight'' - this one was used on client calls too!!

He would lean across you and write emails from your PC too which he was eventual told to cut out!

JustAThought · 13-03-2019 5:30pm

Office octagenarian fumbling towards death,holding down a part tume job he should never have been sympathy given by his CEO friend while decades of unpaid highly qualified 'inrerns' do it and run rings around.him while ge fuddies duddies througu stories of his youth 'in my day...' while showing them how he can send a text or use email on his tablet AND PC while eating their lunches, sending them to the shop for him or making them listen to hour after appalling hour of droning personal stories.Meanwhile the rest of work and carry his load.

Women who whinge endlessly about their diet/fat/bad hair/skin usially while stuffing charity bags of chrisps and bars down their throats.

The ignore the problem brigade who moan vocifirously about anything they can fix and then say its not their job to do/fix/improve it. **** or get off the pot.

PS
People who sneeky vape at their desks. Do.you think Im going to suffocate in silence and not report your poisoning me ? Seriously.

Paddy Cow · 13-03-2019 5:42pm

w/s/p/c/ wrote: »

I am going to go all IT guy on you.

Who's Dwight? Never heard of him... Oh sorry this isn't Scranton in the US, his name is Gareth :P

(sorry couldn't resist)

D'oh. I actually know that. He looks like the guy who plays Dwight on the Walking Dead. I have no idea why my brain confused the two

sbsquarepants · 13-03-2019 5:42pm

Zorya wrote: »

One lad sat next to me making sexual remarks like it was 1955, then he opened a tin of corned beef, stuck a fork in it, slid it all out in one piece on the end of the fork, and ate it loudly like it was an ice pop.

Sounds to me like you missed out on quite a catch.

Better luck next time:D

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Work hard, get promoted and get yourself an office.

It’s the only way to avoid the inane office chatter.

I like the sound of the private office, but not so much the hard work, is there some other way?

I eat my lunch at my desk everyday, not because I'm super dedicated and want to get the jump on my slacking colleagues, it's because I just can't listen to the bullshít in the canteen, backstabbing and gossiping and sucking up to various people - and also because some fúcker is always microwaving fish!
Life is just too short to bother with that shíte!

Solomon Pleasant · 13-03-2019 5:45pm

A lot of people here must really hate their jobs haha

highgiant1985 · 13-03-2019 5:46pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I like the sound of the private office, but not so much the hard work, is there some other way?

Prison

...

James Brown · 13-03-2019 5:46pm

"If she doesn't want anyone staring at her chest she shouldn't be wearing low cut tops".

James Brown · 13-03-2019 5:49pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Sounds to me like you missed out on quite a catch.

Better luck next time:D

I like the sound of the private office, but not so much the hard work, is there some other way?

I eat my lunch at my desk everyday, not because I'm super dedicated and want to get the jump on my slacking colleagues, it's because I just can't listen to the bullshít in the canteen, backstabbing and gossiping and sucking up to various people - and also because some fúcker is always microwaving fish!
Life is just too short to bother with that shíte!

**** on your co-workers and/or be related to the CEO

major bill · 13-03-2019 6:01pm

The ''Kathy Bates'' aka the Misery - every office has one, if unfortunate to get talking or stuck with them its constant misery of the hardships going on in their life etc.......nearly always impossible to get away from them too.

Similar to the above there is always a positivity hoover, that one person that hoovers up every bit of Positive news, stories, general well being and turning it into something negative, constant whinger!!!

Sh*te your co-workers say

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