'God hates me' family devastated as church makes changes to first communion

sideswipe · 26-09-2018 08:00AM #1

I think this this story is going to blow up in the media today. Kids told to come to mass anytime in May/June for holy communion robbing families of a big day out-

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/god-hates-me-childs-distress-over-heartbreaking-ridiculous-church-idea-37355461.html

Personally think it's the best idea the church has come up with in a while!

_Brian · 26-09-2018 08:08AM

This has been the case in places for a few years.

I think it’s good to take the pressure of families who maybe can’t afford a big day out.

CrankyHaus · 26-09-2018 08:11AM

Hell hath no fury like a non-practising parent who's already stocked up on budweiser for their little angle's big day.

Sounds a bit like John Halligan whining that he wasn't allowed be a sponsor in a relatives confirmation "just" because he's an atheist.

KevinCavan · 26-09-2018 08:16AM

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

Graces7 · 26-09-2018 08:17AM

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

which is why parishes and the church are doing this. They have tried all other approaches...

titan18 · 26-09-2018 08:19AM

Surely the parents can organise amongst themselves to all go on the same day and problem solved.

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 08:27AM

Already a thread on it here OP -

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057914360/1/#post108182581

The part I find more concerning about that article tbh is this bit -

"My son Cathal lost his hair from alopecia last year and just the other day I heard my daughter say: 'God hates me and Cathal. He took his hair and now I can't even make my communion with my class'.
"To hear her say this was very heartbreaking and it just goes to show how much it's affecting her."

That’s just odd.

Fr_Dougal · 26-09-2018 08:27AM

Had a look at her Facebook, she’s anti-church and has called for it to be disbanded on several occasions, yet wants a proper church communion?!

Permanently offended mouth breather.

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 08:34AM

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Had a look at her Facebook, she’s anti-church and has called for it to be disbanded on several occasions, yet wants a proper church communion?!

Permanently offended mouth breather.

Meh, not the first time I’ve heard of something like that. I remember there was war in one school with the parents arguing that the school had their children ill-prepared for Confirmation, and one parent I talked to saying they weren’t religious themselves but they still wanted their child to make their Confirmation.

I just thought “Ohhhhkay then”. Bizarre, but... not something I was all that bothered to question if I’m being honest.

lawred2 · 26-09-2018 08:38AM

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

Wouldn't matter what the perceived pressure was supposed to be, nothing would result in me being that chav

McMurphy · 26-09-2018 08:39AM

sideswipe wrote: »

I think this this story is going to blow up in the media today. Kids told to come to mass anytime in May/June for holy communion robbing families of a big day out-

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/god-hates-me-childs-distress-over-heartbreaking-ridiculous-church-idea-37355461.html

Personally think it's the best idea the church has come up with in a while!

It's hardly robbing families of a big day out, have it any day now you feel like, but without all the other stampede of similarly aged kids families trying to book the same function rooms in the same hotels and pubs on the same day.

They should be made wear their school uniforms into the bargain.

Wibbs · 26-09-2018 08:41AM

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

I know of two couples who took out credit union loans for the "big day". From what I recall from one couple who went full Celtic tiger and will tell you the price of everything they present to the world it was a few grand involved.

gozunda · 26-09-2018 08:46AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Meh, not the first time I’ve heard of something like that. I remember there was war in one school with the parents arguing that the school had their children ill-prepared for Confirmation, and one parent I talked to saying they weren’t religious themselves but they still wanted their child to make their Confirmation.

I just thought “Ohhhhkay then”. Bizarre, but... not something I was all that bothered to question if I’m being honest.

I think it's a bit like vaccination - helps to ensures immunity for life

Hector Savage · 26-09-2018 08:47AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Already a thread on it here OP -

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057914360/1/#post108182581

The part I find more concerning about that article tbh is this bit -

"My son Cathal lost his hair from alopecia last year and just the other day I heard my daughter say: 'God hates me and Cathal. He took his hair and now I can't even make my communion with my class'.
"To hear her say this was very heartbreaking and it just goes to show how much it's affecting her."

That’s just odd.

Yes indeed, child abuse I would say to have the kid so brainwashed that she believes there is a man in the sky personally picking on her.
Who has her believing this tripe ?
Thats the real story - but no, let's make it about the church being mean so
Jacinta can't set a date for her dawters bouncy castle and ten crates of Miller for her mates ....

They should show her some of the suffering around the world and then she'll realise how lucky she is (no, not really SHOW her but you know?)

_Brian · 26-09-2018 08:47AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Already a thread on it here OP -

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057914360/1/#post108182581

The part I find more concerning about that article tbh is this bit -

"My son Cathal lost his hair from alopecia last year and just the other day I heard my daughter say: 'God hates me and Cathal. He took his hair and now I can't even make my communion with my class'.
"To hear her say this was very heartbreaking and it just goes to show how much it's affecting her."

That’s just odd.

Why is it odd.
Kids love a big day out where they are the centre of attention.

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we don’t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasn’t expensive at all.
We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is it’s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 08:53AM

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.I think they put huge pressure on parents financially nowadays with the sky high expectations.

To be fair, that’s parents putting pressure on themselves. The Church isn’t asking or expecting them to put themselves under any pressure to do these things, which is more often about the parents showing off than it is about ensuring that their children enjoy themselves.

The Rape of Lucretia · 26-09-2018 08:55AM

KevinCavan wrote: »

I’d love to know what people spend on these mini-weddings, with bouncy castles, caterers and ice-cream vans being ordered for them.

You cant put a price on it. Its there big day, and only happens once in their lives.
It is up to parents to pull out all the stops without scrimping.

murpho999 · 26-09-2018 09:07AM

It's shocking that this non story is getting any media coverage.

Just wish this country would leave this church stuff behind and get on with their lives.

People have kids outside marriage, co-habitate, vote for divorce, same sex marriage , abortion etc, all against the churches doctrine then they don't go to mass but it's still socially and culturally engrained in Ireland to get kids baptised, go to Catholic schools, communions, confirmations and then weddings in Churches.

It's like people are afraid to leave them behind.

_Brian · 26-09-2018 09:09AM

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

You cant put a price on it. Its there big day, and only happens once in their lives.
It is up to parents to pull out all the stops without scrimping.

I wouldn’t agree completely with that.
This “pull out all the stops” is getting way out of hand, I’ve seen families on SW with limos and ice cream vans, whole afternoon in a hotel with food and booze.
Them tue same people accepting food parcels at Christmas.

It’s this whole dog and pony show that I find tasteless in the extreme. My daughters dress cost €80, another €80 for a bouncy castle, €100/120 for food to cater for 30 people. Nobody else got new clothes.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 26-09-2018 09:11AM

Sensationalist búllshít headline! That child did not say that and for a mother to use such a line in order to get exposure is a new low in this country.

Maybe she should have thumped her daughter in the ribs before the photo was taken in order to get her to cry and compound her daughters 'devastation' rather than having the girl sitting there with a wee smirk on her face.

Fcuking stupid story being driven by hack journalists for a rapidly declining gutter rag.

sentient_6 · 26-09-2018 09:12AM

How does this scutter get past an editor? Is the Independent even bothering anymore?

One eyed Jack · 26-09-2018 09:15AM

_Brian wrote: »

Why is it odd.

A child coming out with the idea that God hates them is odd.

Kids love a big day out where they are the centre of attention.

Some children do, some children don’t, could definitely argue the toss with you there either way. The motivation for this particular protest appears to be more from the parents point of view than the children, and they’re appealing to tradition as the reason rather than any religious motivation for their objections to the Church adapting to modern society. That makes it even more odd.

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we don’t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasn’t expensive at all.
We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is it’s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

The Church isn’t stopping the parents doing any of that though. I’ve heard of a few parents who have had non-religious coming-of-age ceremonies for their children and it’s pretty much the same thing without any Church involvement, which makes me wonder why the appeal to tradition from parents who appear to want nothing to do with the Church? It sounds more like a case of the parents wanting to have it both ways, and that’s a parenting issue rather than it is an example of the Church being unfair to their children, or even instilling in their children the idea that God hates them, for any reason.

eagle eye · 26-09-2018 09:22AM

The problem these days is that every idiot has access to media. You just have to scream loud enough and your idiotic comments will make the news.
You have plenty of people with agendas, both for and against you, ready to make sure your story gets heard.

sideswipe · 26-09-2018 09:35AM

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Already a thread on it here OP -

https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057914360/1/#post108182581

Sorry mods, didn't see other thread.

It is interesting that the Indo had that piece yesterday and then today have the 'human faces' behind the story- that would suggest that the 'God hates me' family contacted the Sindo to tell their story.

Live and let live I suppose but things do seem to be getting out of hand and escalating each year. The church is perfectly entitled to de-escalate things. Their religious right of passage that has been hijacked and the notion of parents who are not regular mass attendees staging a protest outside a church over this is pretty ridiculous.

angel eyes 2012 · 26-09-2018 09:36AM

_Brian wrote: »

Why is it odd.
Kids love a big day out where they are the centre of attention.

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we don’t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasn’t expensive at all.
We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is it’s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

You cannot compare an adult's birthday party with a christian rite that is considered a sacrament. Personally, and this is just my opinion, I find it very odd that a young child when making their first communion stands before a man in a dress that represents an organisation, which still owes millions in redress to victims that were abused as children.

How you compare this with a 40th party in the local pub is beyond me. You are perfectly entitled to participate in the event just don't include the rest of us that don't believe in it.

_Brian · 26-09-2018 09:38AM

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

You cannot compare an adult's birthday party with a christan rite that is considered a sacrament. Personally, and this is just my opinion, I find it very odd that a young child when making their first communion stands before a man in a dress that represents an organisation, which still owes millions in redress to victims that were abused as children.

How you compare this with a 40th party in the local pub is beyond me. You are perfectly entitled to participate in the event just don't include the rest of us that don't believe in it.

Where is anyone including you ?

Hitman3000 · 26-09-2018 09:42AM

_Brian wrote:

Both ours got communion and we had family round to the house afterwards, we cooked ourselves and yes we had a bouncy castle for the kids, it was a great celebration of my daughters reaching this stage in their life and we donâ€™t regret it a bit. Since we did tue catering ourselves and there was no alcohol it wasnâ€™t expensive at all. We have a very a la carte opinion on religion and our kids would be the same, We rarely attend mass. Our opinion is itâ€™s a sort of coming of age event worth celebrating, no more ridiculous that adults celebrating their 40th or 50th birthdays.

Communion is a religious event that both the child and parents are supposed to prepare for. No wonder the priest made the decision he did.
You want a coming of age event have a 'sweet sixteen'. Hypocritses everywhere and I don't even subscribe to organised religion.

angel eyes 2012 · 26-09-2018 09:44AM

_Brian wrote: »

Where is anyone including you ?

I attend adult birthdays, I would politely turn down an invite to a communion/party. You inferred they involve the same elements, they certainly don't. Again it's just my take on it, you are perfectly entitled to have your communion party.

IrishZeus · 26-09-2018 09:45AM

She won’t get her communion money - no wonder the child is p*ssed off

_Brian · 26-09-2018 09:49AM

Hitman3000 wrote: »

You want a coming of age event have a 'sweet sixteen'. Hypocritses everywhere and I don't even subscribe to organised religion.

We are vaguely Christian in our ethos so it’s not hypocritical at all to have communion and a small celebration afterwards. We view it as Much a coming of age event as a religious one, I don’t see a problem with that.
Do we 100% follow the churches teaching, no we don’t, but we’re somewhere in there in the Christianity spectrum, we do what we feel is right rather than anything under pressure from society or the church.

Hitman3000 · 26-09-2018 09:56AM

_Brian wrote:

We are vaguely Christian in our ethos so itâ€™s not hypocritical at all to have communion and a small celebration afterwards. Do we 100% follow the churches teaching, no we donâ€™t, but weâ€™re somewhere in there in the Christianity spectrum, we do what we feel is right rather than anything under pressure from society or the church.

So you want to be part of the club but don't want to follow all the rules? AFAIK communion, is one of the 5 sacraments of the RCC church. All of which except the last requires preparation from either the parents or the recipients. In the case of communion/ confirmation it's both, so if it means so much parents should have no problem attending communion any day that suits them. Parties to gather the money can also be scheduled for when it suits. As I said hypocrites.

'God hates me' family devastated as church makes changes to first communion

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