Sopranos best jokes

lion_bar · 22-05-2018 11:34PM

Pine barrens was directed by Steve Buscemi, which probably helped make it such a great episode

EagererBeaver · 22-05-2018 11:36PM

NinetyTwoTeam wrote: »

Furio* (smacks Dr. Kennedy's baseball cap off his head): You gotta bee onna your hat.

*Mr. Williams.

Stoopid-a facking game.

BalcombeSt4 · 23-05-2018 12:28AM

Season 5: At Raymond's birthday dinner Larry Boy is giving a toast in Raymond's honour.

Larry Boy: Well what can we say about this guy? The ancient Romans had a word for him...........Asshole.

Season 1: At Juniors ceremony for becoming the new boss, Tony is giving a speech.

Tony: Now I'm no good at speeches...
Larry Boy: Yeah, you owe him a ****ing dime you'll hear some great speeches.

BalcombeSt4 · 23-05-2018 01:00AM

Mustang Sally after he beat Vito's brother's head in with a golf club is talking to Bobby's dad when he thinks he got him a pass.

Sally: Oh thank you uncle Bobby, thank you, thank you so ****ing much. And tell Tony Soprano it will never happen again, or if it does I'll at least yell four next time.

Season Six when Tony & Paulie have to go on the run for a bit while the feds dig up a body Tony & Paulie killed years ago, they go to see Beanies who was put into a wheelchair by Richie Aprile & can't use his legs no more & there all talking at the table. Paulie without thinking starts talking about what a great guy Beansie is.

Paulie: Talk about stand up guys. (table goes dead silent) Oh sorry Beansie.

Season 5: Silvio getting pissed off at Paulies ass kissing & broken English.

Paulie: I've been reading a lot about Sun Tazoo lately.
Tony B: Who?
Paulie: Ya know? Sun Tazoo the Chinese military leader, Tony told me about him, Sun Tazoo.
Silvio: Tzu, Sun Tzu, ya ****ing ass kiss.

greencap · 23-05-2018 03:30AM

artvanderlay wrote: »

Phil Leoardo on Vito's death: " I loved him like a brother in law".

Another Philly one when he was asked how was Florida...."hot and sticky, like my balls".

One of my favs is any time Paulie had a row with Christopher he always said "that's me and him finished"!

Hope it's not in here already:

Vito and co waiting for a meet with Phil...

Phil arrives late...

Vito: thank god, we're waiting so long I got mushrooms growin out my ass.

- Phil's response (with epic timing) : "now there's an image".

Lol.

WHIP IT! · 23-05-2018 09:39AM

I suppose like any tv show you have watched a lot, on repeated viewings it's the subtle humour that starts making you laugh most. I always loved a line from Sil, in the back-room in the Bing. Carmella has been making noises about looking for Adriana, so Tony decides to reverse his earlier decision about getting her Spec house underway and tells Sil he needs to pay a visit to the Planning guy.

Tony: "need you to go back and lean on that building inspector..."
Sil (in typical Sil fashion): "To what end??"

It's just so funny the way he says it. I'm sure no consigliere in the history of the mafia has ever actually used the phrase "to what end", but the way Sil says it cracks me up every time...

Dyr · 23-05-2018 04:13PM

Tony repeatedly smashing an ice bucket off Georgie's head for pouring ice down the sink and then shouting "CONSERVE!" like he's Al Gore.

McMurphy · 23-05-2018 04:39PM

I laughed my ass off at this, and it wasn't so much what Tony said....

This is the scene.

Junior, sat in a clinic with the oxygen mask strapped to his face, I think he was just after being diagnosed with cancer.

Tony walks in, and on the way past, subtly smiles then asks junior "how many MIGS you shoot down"?

Junior looks at him, and you just know he's thinking "cacksucka" !

Juniors reaction was gold.

EagererBeaver · 23-05-2018 05:01PM

Under the boardwalk, with a schlong in Jan's mouth.

Jimmy Two Times · 23-05-2018 05:08PM

Dr. Melfi referring to Green Grove - " That retirement community is more like a hotel at Cap d'Antibes "

Tony, later trying to convince Livia - " It's more like a hotel at Captain Teebs "

Livia - " Who's he ? "

Tony - " I dunno, a Captain who owns luxury hotels or something , that's not the point "

EagererBeaver · 23-05-2018 05:08PM

Tony: A German Shepherd's shaved asshole won first prize.

Bobby: Whoa! You're talking about my wife

Tony: You married her!

HandsomeBob · 23-05-2018 05:38PM

Tony: Peeps.....his name was Pepperelli!

Sil: ****ing Jason, he's dyslexic.

Tony: What's that got to do with anything!

Sil: ........

Hammer89 · 24-05-2018 02:54AM

Tony B and his girlfriend find a plastic bag stashed in the bushes. The girlfriend asks if it's a foetus when Tony B looks inside.

thecretinhop · 24-05-2018 04:17PM

meadow walking paulie to tonys room after being shot.
meadow "the doctors say we need to talk positive paulie its very important"
paulie "dont worry i know just what to say"
they enter the room tony is hooked up to loads of machines and pipes
pauli: Offf maron!! he looks fuking terrible!!

artvanderlay · 25-05-2018 09:14AM

"My nephew is a c*nt hair away from controlling all of North Jersey......and I am that c*nt hair." - Uncle Junior

25-05-2018 04:08PM

Jimmy Two Times wrote: »

Dr. Melfi referring to Green Grove - " That retirement community is more like a hotel at Cap d'Antibes "

Tony, later trying to convince Livia - " It's more like a hotel at Captain Teebs "

Livia - " Who's he ? "

Tony - " I dunno, a Captain who owns luxury hotels or something , that's not the point "

****IN Brilliant!!!

same with the, he's like and old woman with a ham under her arm crying cos she's no bread!!

Dyr · 25-05-2018 05:43PM

Not funny but a good moment I missed until recently: When Silvio is complaining to Tony about Feech La Mana, telling him that Feech is an egomaniac and a liability. Tony just looks sad and says "He's old. How d'you think that feels?" Considering what ultimately happened to feech..

Funny one: Benny about to drive off when Phil and his crew appear
Benny: I'm on my way to the hospital
Phil: Well, that's up to you

buried · 25-05-2018 05:58PM

Another dark funny bit when Tony kills yer man in the kitchen, and he calls on Christopher, the drug addled junkie, to help dispose the body and clean up the scene. When Chris arrives to the house and sees the body, Tony is claiming to Chris he didn't murder yer man on the ground and Chris completely high off his nyyuck claiming that he actually isn't high

Tony - "The f**k is wrong with you?"

Chris - "Nuthhhn"

Tony - "Don't lie to me........You're high."

Chris - "I sssmoked -alf a joint before you callled....I'm fine......"

Tony - "Look at you, your nose is running you f**kin Junkie.....YOU PROMISED ME YOU WUDNT DO THAT $HIT NO MORE"

Chris - " I Didddd-anntttt" (Nearly falls over)

Tony - "JESUS F**KIN CHRIST.....CAN YOU EVEN DO THIS????"

Then they discover yer mans wig while trying to decapitate his head. lol. ahh man, brilliant stuff

thebaz · 25-05-2018 06:08PM

Phil - the Shah of Iran -
Leotardo thats my ****in legacy - No more Butchy - No more of this - cue John Cooper Clarke - one of the greatest ending to any show (ever) . :-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ICvmf0u5R0

and Phil at his homecoming party - Why don't you get a bike you fat **** :-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouIoHCL7n2I

Mr Shinebox (Frank Vincent) was one of the geat gangster actors ever - he is missed. R.I.P.

sicknotexi · 25-05-2018 07:20PM

"It's the Jacketttttt!"- Richie Aprile

Also when Tony is having a panic attack at Richie's and Janice's new house and decides to leave. As he walks out Richie taps on the window smiling and Tony says "Oh you poor bastard".

squawker · 25-05-2018 08:03PM

started watching the show again thanks to this thread

forgot how this show changed TV forever

McMurphy · 25-05-2018 08:30PM

squawker wrote: »

started watching the show again thanks to this thread

forgot how this show changed TV forever

Best tv series ever made.

In my opinion of course.

Some people say the wire is better, but they're talking out of their hoops if you ask me.

James Bond Junior · 25-05-2018 08:47PM

I watched both several times, own both box sets and think even though the wire is fantastic, it just can't come near The Sopranos.

McMurphy · 25-05-2018 09:04PM

James Bond Junior wrote: »

I watched both several times, own both box sets and think even though the wire is fantastic, it just can't come near The Sopranos.

Completely agree with this whole post, the wires a good show, excellent even, and it's definitely up there in the top 10, but sopranos sits at the top IMO, and by a country mile ahead of the rest.

squawker · 25-05-2018 09:08PM

Johnny Dogs wrote: »

Best tv series ever made.

In my opinion of course.

Some people say the wire is better, but they're talking out of their hoops if you ask me.

its a top show no doubt, but it did suffer between the long breaks in production in the last couple of seasons

Dyr · 25-05-2018 09:43PM

I didn't watch either when they aired, didn't even have a TV back then

I watched both straight through on box set and the sopranos is just miles ahead of everything else.

artvanderlay · 25-05-2018 09:56PM

I love the Wire; when I was watching it, I was absolutely riveted. Watched the whole box set in a week. An incredible show, definitely one of the best. I have watched the Sopranos more often though, and I think this is because of the humour in it. So many great characters, great lines, and the concept of having a soap opera about sociopaths is just addictive to watch. The Wire is probably more real, and a bit of a downer to watch too often (although there is good humour and hope in it too). But it's great; we don't have to choose, just enjoy both and thank f*ck they exist! There are not many shows that come close to them.

CWF · 25-05-2018 09:58PM

I love the sopranos don't get me wrong, top ten of all time. But do you not find it a bit repetitive from season to season? Same kind of storyline and plot but just with a different character getting whacked, usually the annoying one of that season

pumpkin4life · 25-05-2018 10:01PM

The only thing I'll say is that other shows that are supposed to be up there (Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones) are completely surpassed by The Sopranos and The Wire. The Sopranos is the best TV show of all time. The Wire for me slips up in the last season with some of the media stuff. Though I'll take the 5th Season of The Wire over anything in Breaking Bad for example.

artvanderlay · 25-05-2018 10:18PM

pumpkin4life wrote: »

The only thing I'll say is that other shows that are supposed to be up there (Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones) are completely surpassed by The Sopranos and The Wire. The Sopranos is the best TV show of all time. The Wire for me slips up in the last season with some of the media stuff. Though I'll take the 5th Season of The Wire over anything in Breaking Bad for example.

I agree with a lot of that. The Sopranos and Wire top. I gave up on Breaking Bad countless times which is funny given that I loved the first 2 seasons of Better Call Saul (3 was a bit draggy). I tried with Game of Thrones, but I don't like the genre. Mad Men first 3 years maybe were excellent, then it got popular and disappeared up its own hole! Dexter first four years were excellent too. I've run out of shows to watch now because my bar is set so high by the best shows. I only liked Cobra Kai recently, and that is more of a guilty pleasure :P

Sopranos best jokes

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