Weddings - a terrible day out.

Grayson · 04-05-2018 10:47am

meeeeh wrote: »

A friend of mine maintains it's really handy to have a holiday home just to ship all the gifted junk there.

I've bought a nice expensive cutlery set for one of my cousin's weddings and was told after that they got two. My brother just got new induction hob and he told me they could do with some pots and I got them that. But mostly money is by far the handles gift to give to someone and once you factor in time and travel cost getting the present often presents aren't much cheaper option.

I bought my sister a giant TV. They had an old CRT TV. I bought it 3 months before the wedding and gave it to them then so they could start enjoying it.

(There's also the fact that i was living with her future husband at the time. And i didn't own a car so i got her to pick it up in her car

)

LirW · 04-05-2018 10:48am

meeeeh wrote: »

You are Austrian I think? Take into account the difference in birth rate and how many more uncles, aunts and first cousins people have in Ireland in comparison to Austria. Irish weddings will be often bigger just because the families are bigger.

I have one brother, three cousins and my only uncle died. Husband's family is bigger although he has only one sister. For us it was very easy to cut the numbers because I have very few relatives, his didn't want to travel and neither we expected them to.

Country families are still quite big but people rather invite the very close ones, parents, siblings and maybe the aunts and uncles they're close to. They just cut their numbers pretty ruthless. I have an aunt that I'm not really in touch with, my cousin won't be coming, simply because the line is drawn pretty tight. Everybody is pretty understanding too. It would be extremely unusual inviting colleagues or people that you haven't maintained a closer relationship in a while.

ManOfMystery · 04-05-2018 10:49am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Opened the letter box this morning, and discovered an invite to the wedding of my nephew and his girlfriend. Has put me in bad mood as a result. I’ll have to go, but I’d rather get a 5-fingered prostate exam than attend to be honest. Does anyone actually enjoy Irish weddings?

They take all day. They cost a fortune. The food is nearly always shîte, you end up talking to cousins and other relations you hate, the speeches are always the same, you can’t get too drunk or the extended family will be gossiping about you, you don’t know who you’ll be sitting beside, the music is terrible. Just a really bad day out. The only positive is that there’s a decent chance you’ll get the ride at the end of the night.

When will start having w mature conversation about this? No one wants to go to these dreadful affairs only Bridezilla and her bridesmaids. Fiasco.

I used to enjoy them when I went to the first few as an adult. Then you go to more and more and the tedious and monotonous repetition of events and behaviour you mentioned become more apparent. Now it takes an extra special speech or something 'different' at the wedding/reception to liven things up.

Hence why it's sensible to get to the bar early and get tanked asap, everything is more fun that way.

Coffee Fulled Runner · 04-05-2018 10:51am

Anyone find it strange when on the invitation the couple ask for money as a gift? It's the done thing around where I live anyways but it would make you want to give them a toaster or blender.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 04-05-2018 10:51am

ManOfMystery wrote: »

I used to enjoy them when I went to the first few as an adult. Then you go to more and more and the tedious and monotonous repetition of events and behaviour you mentioned become more apparent. Now it takes an extra special speech or something 'different' at the wedding/reception to liven things up.

Hence why it's sensible to get to the bar early and get tanked asap, everything is more fun that way.

As well as an 'afters' invite, I would love if there was an invite to attend the ceremony and drinks reception and then go home. That way you would be at the important part of the day, get to enjoy a couple of drinks and a catch up with friends or family you hadn't seen in a while, but be able to skip the long, long wait for dinner and the ear splitting band and dancing - which are my least favourite part of any wedding.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 04-05-2018 10:53am

Coffee Fulled Runner wrote: »

Anyone find it strange when on the invitation the couple ask for money as a gift? It's the done thing around where I live anyways but it would make you want to give them a toaster or blender.

Yes, I think explicitly asking for cash is rude. Most people do give cash gifts nowadays because, as I've already said, most couples nowadays already have the household necessities. But there may be some guests who are on a tight budget and would prefer to give something they've bought as a bargain in a sale, or an unused gift they received themselves, or something a bit creative that you can't put a price on. Demanding a cash gift puts them in a difficult situation and can embarrass them into giving far more than they can afford.

Goose76 · 04-05-2018 11:47am

Maybe it's been said already but I just cannot understand the money that is going into weddings these days. Maybe it's just my introverted nature (I would never want a big wedding, the idea almost puts me off the idea of marriage itself!) but I would much rather put that 20,40,70k towards a house, a holiday, saving for future kids, a car, etc.

I've seen so many people my age (29) moan about the cost of saving for a house deposit but then they are quite content to spend 50k on their weddings and not even question it.

To each their own, of course, but personally I don't understand it.

Salvation Tambourine · 04-05-2018 11:51am

People keep saying weddings are repetitive, most nights out are repetitive but you can still have a good time at each,

guineapigstar · 04-05-2018 12:11pm

Meadow Freezing Newsman wrote: »

But there may be some guests who are on a tight budget and would prefer to give something they've bought as a bargain in a sale, or an unused gift they received themselves, or something a bit creative that you can't put a price on. Demanding a cash gift puts them in a difficult situation and can embarrass them into giving far more than they can afford.

I usually offer my body and the gift can be taken up by either the bride or groom. Not both unfortunately.

splinter65 · 04-05-2018 1:00pm

LirW wrote: »

It is just so annoying that you can only get married in the registry office Mon-Fri, same when you pick an HSE registrar. Otherwise you need a Humanist/Spiritualist that can officially marry you and these lads are pretty expensive, especially when you want to keep in low-key. So in that regard unfortunately you don't have a choice.

That’s the case with civil weddings all over the world.

splinter65 · 04-05-2018 1:01pm

guineapigstar wrote: »

I usually offer my body and the gift can be taken up by either the bride or groom. Not both unfortunately.

No both at the same time?

meeeeh · 04-05-2018 1:10pm

splinter65 wrote: »

That’s the case with civil weddings all over the world.

No it's not. Where I come from they are on Saturdays and usually in very nice locations city hall/local castle/garden location...

splinter65 · 04-05-2018 1:42pm

meeeeh wrote: »

No it's not. Where I come from they are on Saturdays and usually in very nice locations city hall/local castle/garden location...

Oh I see. Where my brother is it’s actually worse than here.

italodisco · 04-05-2018 6:01pm

Heres Johnny wrote: »

I agree with you but what was so good about the Polish wedding?

Was less of the formalities so to speak, more like a mad sesh down the pub without all the showing off how well off and great one is and the constant bullship small talk and crap band that plays bon Jovi and the likes all bloody night lol.

The last wedding I went to in Poland, the music was full on borat, accordian at lightning speeds mixed with shots of vodka every 2 minutes, a random goat carried in and plonked on the dance floor ( who seemed to be having the time of its life being danced around) , a handful of cops turning up in uniform drinking everything in site whilst dancing like mad men....the brides mother beating up the father for drinking too much..

You'd have to go to a full on polish village wedding to know what I'm on about, literally not 2 f#@ks given at any stage of the 2 days it went on.

Last Irish wedding I was at was crappy bon Jovi covers, people sitting around talking about how they built a magnificent extension and how little Jonny is going to private school now and how so and so did this did that.. That kind of crap. No atmosphere at all, like 90% of Irish weddings I've been to.

Mister Vain · 04-05-2018 6:18pm

Yeah the Polish weddings are a lot less cringy. Less of this shyte going on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzKfcaKCevk

Lia_lia · 04-05-2018 6:23pm

Goose76 wrote: »

Maybe it's been said already but I just cannot understand the money that is going into weddings these days. Maybe it's just my introverted nature (I would never want a big wedding, the idea almost puts me off the idea of marriage itself!) but I would much rather put that 20,40,70k towards a house, a holiday, saving for future kids, a car, etc.

I've seen so many people my age (29) moan about the cost of saving for a house deposit but then they are quite content to spend 50k on their weddings and not even question it.

To each their own, of course, but personally I don't understand it.

I could have posted this word for word!

DeanAustin · 04-05-2018 7:38pm

Lia_lia wrote: »

I could have posted this word for word!

Thing is, people expect to make it back from their guests in most cases so it costs them nothing or very little really.

I cringe hard every time I think of my own wedding. A completely formulaic day for show and then the next day thrown in for good measure to drag it out. I always roll my eyes when anyone says “oh yours was one of the best weddings I was ever at” because everyone always says that. And I’m still very happily married to a woman I love in case anyone thinks I’m being bitter.

I hate everything about weddings and the only thing worse than being invited is being at the centre of it.

da gamer · 04-05-2018 9:35pm

Tabnabs wrote: »

Would that be a 2-knuckler or a 3-knuckler one? Like, really how bad do you not want to go?

Sounds like a fisting

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 05-05-2018 7:21am

DeanAustin wrote: »

Thing is, people expect to make it back from their guests in most cases so it costs them nothing or very little really.

I cringe hard every time I think of my own wedding. A completely formulaic day for show and then the next day thrown in for good measure to drag it out. I always roll my eyes when anyone says “oh yours was one of the best weddings I was ever at” because everyone always says that. And I’m still very happily married to a woman I love in case anyone thinks I’m being bitter.

I hate everything about weddings and the only thing worse than being invited is being at the centre of it.

I suspect a lot of people feel like that. Its so easy to get carried along and be pressurised into thinking you have to have the 'right' kind of wedding when it's obvious from this thread and the 155 likes the OP got that many many people don't enjoy the ' right' kind.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 05-05-2018 7:23am

Mister Vain wrote: »

Yeah the Polish weddings are a lot less cringy. Less of this shyte going on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzKfcaKCevk

That is brilliant!

qwerty ui op · 05-05-2018 8:50am

jimgoose wrote: »

No it isn't. If someone throws an enormous relationship-ending strop because they don't get their own way then I don't have any interest in them. You get to a certain stage in life where you just don't entertain this sort of horseshit anymore.

That looks good in a post but it's completely dishonest.

First of all, I believe people should be free to do as please.

You seem to believe the same.

I'm accepting the reality of the situation as it, were as you're jumping to an ideal which has no basis in reality.

IN Ireland if one friend invites another to a wedding, they've been planning for months and spent enormous amounts of money on. The invited guest would be expected to attend. They can reply "No, not interested", all they want, but not attend without good reason will cause problems in the relationship. That goes without saying!
Now forget about your ideal notions as to how we all should behave and deal with the reality of the situation at hand.

theyoungchap wrote: »

Jesus, god be with the days when somebody might want to attend their sisters wedding without complaining about it!!

So people should just put up with it.
You're now conflicted, the truth is in the post and on the way for you, enjoy your last few hours in the bubble.

erica74 wrote: »

This is a joke post, right?! That's a third of my monthly pay:pac::pac:
I'm delighted for people who can afford to give that amount and want to give that amount but YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE ANYTHING YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO GIVE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ATTEND ANY WEDDING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. It is simple.

Ok, so erica74 has used all caps and the problem of viewing wedding invites as a summons still remains.

mcgiggles · 05-05-2018 8:59am

qwerty ui op wrote:

The invited guest would be expected to attend. They can reply "No, not interested", all they want, but not attend without good reason will cause problems in the relationship. That goes without saying!

I'm sorry but what?! An invitation is a request to attend something, not a demand! Noone in their right mind is going to reply "no, not interested". It doesn't matter what the reason for not attending a wedding is - be it from lack of funds, being away, to simply not wanting to go, its not the bride and grooms business why the person doesn't want to go! The world does not revolve around them and their wedding. People have lives outside that. If I'm not attending a wedding I don't give a reason and I didn't expect reasons from the people who couldn't attend mine.

Graces7 · 05-05-2018 9:26am

If someone would just invite me i would give an educated account of an Irish wedding.. A big one I mean;not the lovely wee secret one i arranged way back for a family.

Jaysci20 · 05-05-2018 11:00am

DeanAustin wrote: »

Thing is, people expect to make it back from their guests in most cases so it costs them nothing or very little really.

I cringe hard every time I think of my own wedding. A completely formulaic day for show and then the next day thrown in for good measure to drag it out. I always roll my eyes when anyone says “oh yours was one of the best weddings I was ever at” because everyone always says that. And I’m still very happily married to a woman I love in case anyone thinks I’m being bitter.

I hate everything about weddings and the only thing worse than being invited is being at the centre of it.

Must have been alright. I think what's bad is when the food is muck, the band are awful, wine is vinegar and it's formulaic. It's the worst of all world.s

italodisco · 05-05-2018 1:54pm

Christ, I must have jinxed myself, last night got a call to say I'm invited to an old friend wedding, a Friday one.

Said I'll be there, not a hope in hell I will.

A day wasted listening to the lads talk about work whilst their jumped up partners throw stares, think ill go roll around in silage instead lol

Nettle Soup · 05-05-2018 3:58pm

Coffee Fulled Runner wrote: »

Anyone find it strange when on the invitation the couple ask for money as a gift? It's the done thing around where I live anyways but it would make you want to give them a toaster or blender.

I saw an invite during the Celtic Tiger that stated "No trash, just cash

".

Actually I blame the Celtic Tiger for making weddings such an expensive and drawn out torture.
We lost the run of ourselves and still haven't reverted to normality.

qwerty ui op · 05-05-2018 10:25pm

mcgiggles wrote: »

I'm sorry but what?! An invitation is a request to attend something, not a demand! Noone in their right mind is going to reply "no, not interested". It doesn't matter what the reason for not attending a wedding is - be it from lack of funds, being away, to simply not wanting to go, its not the bride and grooms business why the person doesn't want to go! The world does not revolve around them and their wedding. People have lives outside that. If I'm not attending a wedding I don't give a reason and I didn't expect reasons from the people who couldn't attend mine.

You can call the invite whatever you want, some call it a summons!

As I've said, generally, the closer you are to the B or G the more pressure to attend.

For the weddings you've declined how close were you to the B or G? how often did you meet up?

How close were you to those who declined your wedding? how often did you meet up?

pappyodaniel · 05-05-2018 10:31pm

What's with the inflatable music instruments and cheap fancy dress shyte for guests to take photos with?

That became a thing ages ago and nobody bats an eyelid as to how crap it is.

Hector Bellend · 05-05-2018 10:34pm

Weddings are a monumental pain in the swiss roll

Jaysci20 · 06-05-2018 2:32pm

https://www.thevow.ie/real-weddings/wedding-guests-shocked-to-be-asked-by-groom-to-return-wedding-gift-for-cash-36878854.html

What kind a complete kn0b asks for a wedding gift to be returned by his guest and to get cash instead. This is the kind of thing that has weddings ruined.

I think the wedding gift list thing is a bit much in the first place anyway. I'd be telling this ponce to flog the gift on ebay himself if he wants cash for it. I wouldn't waste another minute of my life with him.

_Dara_ · 06-05-2018 5:47pm

pappyodaniel wrote: »

What's with the inflatable music instruments and cheap fancy dress shyte for guests to take photos with?

That became a thing ages ago and nobody bats an eyelid as to how crap it is.

I know, the inflatable musical instruments are bizarre.

mcgrath1992 · 06-05-2018 6:35pm

i'm not a big fan of weddings myself..I've been to 7 weddings overall and every one of them justs costs me the gift which i just usually throw 50euro their way...i don't buy new suits for the occasion as i don't see the point when an old suit from the 1st wedding you have in the wardrobe and freshly dry cleaned will do the trick just fine..I don't really obligate myself to stay the whole weekend just for the ceremony and speeches and then feck off home for rest of evening. As long as you show up for the important parts i'm sure is all that matters most..

OldMrBrennan83 · 06-05-2018 6:37pm

This post has been deleted.

splinter65 · 06-05-2018 6:49pm

_Dara_ wrote: »

I know, the inflatable musical instruments are bizarre.

Two adults sitting planning a very special once in a lifetime expensive social occasion at which they will be the hosts :

She:”so that’s the food and the cake and the entertainment arranged”
He:”yes. But I can’t help but think there’s something missing...”
She: “ I know. Let’s gets some blow up guitars and saxophones from the pound shop. And some false noses and wigs and comedy glasses too. We’ll leave them laying around in case our adult guests would like to play with them and take pictures of themselves and each other playing with them”.
He:”Una, that’s why I love you. You always know the tasteful thing to do “.

WoollyRedHat · 06-05-2018 7:14pm

If it`s money that's the issue, either write a dodgy check or issue fake money.

If it` s the whole attendance rigmarole, simply either find a doppleganger or fake your own death, whichever comes easiest.

pappyodaniel · 08-05-2018 1:46am

splinter65 wrote: »

Two adults sitting planning a very special once in a lifetime expensive social occasion at which they will be the hosts :

She:”so that’s the food and the cake and the entertainment arranged”
He:”yes. But I can’t help but think there’s something missing...”
She: “ I know. Let’s gets some blow up guitars and saxophones from the pound shop. And some false noses and wigs and comedy glasses too. We’ll leave them laying around in case our adult guests would like to play with them and take pictures of themselves and each other playing with them”.
He:”Una, that’s why I love you. You always know the tasteful thing to do “.

I couldn't have put it better myself.

OldMrBrennan83 · 08-05-2018 6:38am

This post has been deleted.

08-05-2018 8:32am

_Dara_ wrote: »

I know, the inflatable musical instruments are bizarre.

They are a bit of craic, I don't see why people find them so bizarre. Great craic jumping around the stage in a cow boy hat with an inflatable guitar pretending you're a rock star and that sort of thing. Well I enjoy it anyway.

Some Dj's provide them too rather than it being something the couple arrange.

Hector Savage · 08-05-2018 8:58am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Wow, very sour response. Believe me dude, I’ve no problem with bedding members of the more dangerous sex. Up to the seam of my nutpurse in fanny most weekends.

love it!!

BalboBiggins · 08-05-2018 1:12pm

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

They are a bit of craic, I don't see why people find them so bizarre. Great craic jumping around the stage in a cow boy hat with an inflatable guitar pretending you're a rock star and that sort of thing. Well I enjoy it anyway.

Of all the dumb sh*t you've written here over the years, this might be the dumbest.

I'm convinced that people who love "the craic" are truly the biggest bores going.

whisky_galore · 08-05-2018 1:23pm

_Dara_ wrote: »

I know, the inflatable musical instruments are bizarre.

Even bagpipes?

Mr. CooL ICE · 08-05-2018 1:31pm

BalboBiggins wrote: »

Of all the dumb sh*t you've written here over the years, this might be the dumbest.

I'm convinced that people who love "the craic" are truly the biggest bores going.

Mod: Cool the jets. No need for this

splinter65 · 08-05-2018 1:34pm

Dayana Massive Poker wrote: »

They are a bit of craic, I don't see why people find them so bizarre. Great craic jumping around the stage in a cow boy hat with an inflatable guitar pretending you're a rock star and that sort of thing. Well I enjoy it anyway.

Some Dj's provide them too rather than it being something the couple arrange.

Great craic if your 11 or if your pissed. There are always 11 year olds and boring boring pissed people at weddings.

LirW · 08-05-2018 4:11pm

I'm pretty surprised people make a living by Selfie-mirror or sparkling-dancefloor hire.
There was a wedding here recently where mayhem was caused over this selfie-mirror in the planning stage.

Did you ever go to a wedding thinking "Damn, it would be so much better with a selfie mirror, it's really missed here"? I certainly didn't.

_Dara_ · 08-05-2018 4:23pm

whisky_galore wrote: »

Even bagpipes?

Bagpipes are a boil on the face of humanity!

dd972 · 08-05-2018 5:01pm

jacksie66 wrote: »

I hate social gatherings as a whole. I hate being in a room with more than 2 or 3 people..

Funny enough, the other 2 or 3 people were saying that about you after you left the room.

I was the third...

road_high · 07-08-2018 12:42am

Gas thread. Absolutely hate weddings too (like it seems 90% of posters) and they are the most formulaic crap day imaginable. Forced into the company of distant relatives half of whom you can’t stand anyways and listening to people regale you about how well they are doing etc. Dreadful

road_high · 07-08-2018 12:45am

LirW wrote: »

I'm pretty surprised people make a living by Selfie-mirror or sparkling-dancefloor hire.
There was a wedding here recently where mayhem was caused over this selfie-mirror in the planning stage.

Did you ever go to a wedding thinking "Damn, it would be so much better with a selfie mirror, it's really missed here"? I certainly didn't.

Handiest living you’d find- selling that wedding novelty crap- takes absolutely no thought or imagination and you can charge what you like plus recycle the same rubbish at the next one. Like most wedding supplies- most profitable industry in the country

road_high · 07-08-2018 1:26am

Franz Von Peppercorn wrote: »

The second day of a wedding is weird. I did that once or twice as I was abroad for about 3 weddings so you stay around for the weekend.

I was invited to a meal the next day once. At the end of the meal the best man asked us all for speeches re the lovely couple.

This was a large group of 40-50 people. Even girlfriends and boyfriends, people who hadn’t seen the bride before in their life, had to opine about how amazing the couple were and destined for a fabled life of happiness. I got my speech in first or second to get it over with (anyway the best man was at my table).

I just did a toast. After that it was copy cat rhetoric until a priest ranted on for 30 minutes, followed by another self indulgent public speaker. When I spoke I spoke for 1 minute but after the priest the speeches got longer and more uncomfortable as people not used to public speaking felt they had to talk for minutes following the priest lecture. (What was he talking about? No idea. Blanked from my brain).

Eventually a few people just plain out refused and it stopped. Then the priest said a few more words. For 20 more minutes.

We left at midnight. The meal started at 7. I drank my last coffee at 9:30.

That sounds like a torture routine, something the CIA should pull on terror suspects to break them! Self indulgent tripe- the couple should have called a halt and said they just wanted a relaxed eve with friends and no pressure in anyone

Tzardine · 07-08-2018 6:53am

italodisco wrote: »

Was less of the formalities so to speak, more like a mad sesh down the pub without all the showing off how well off and great one is and the constant bullship small talk and crap band that plays bon Jovi and the likes all bloody night lol.

The last wedding I went to in Poland, the music was full on borat, accordian at lightning speeds mixed with shots of vodka every 2 minutes, a random goat carried in and plonked on the dance floor ( who seemed to be having the time of its life being danced around) , a handful of cops turning up in uniform drinking everything in site whilst dancing like mad men....the brides mother beating up the father for drinking too much..

You'd have to go to a full on polish village wedding to know what I'm on about, literally not 2 f#@ks given at any stage of the 2 days it went on.

Last Irish wedding I was at was crappy bon Jovi covers, people sitting around talking about how they built a magnificent extension and how little Jonny is going to private school now and how so and so did this did that.. That kind of crap. No atmosphere at all, like 90% of Irish weddings I've been to.

This could not be more accurate. Polish weddings are the absolute best craic you can have.

I was at one a few years back when a mate married a polish girl. Small town affair.

It was really like something out of Borat. I have never drank as much straight vodka in my life, including some home made stuff out of a bath tub.

The Polish are all just mental in the best way possible.

Weddings - a terrible day out.

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