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'I just want a home for my children' - mum on housing list for 12 years

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    If you sat down with me you would see i'm not one of these people that wants a free ride or life long hand outs.

    5 of the kids will be with me full time.

    i do not have the other child overnights although the mother is pressing me.

    I have every intention of achieving my goal of owning my house by 40.

    I'm not too far from it.


    I really wish you all the best with it. I know it's sometimes a bit hard when the finances aren't what you expected.
    Someone posted a link to houses in County Cork for your price range and I can only urge you to think about this.
    We have 2 kids and I'm currently having maternity leave but would work from home - self-employed and do not have records in Ireland yet. So impossible for us to get a mortgage. We had a huge deposit though and were asking for a quite small mortgage but wouldn't fit in the criteria, so we decided to buy for the hard cash we had.
    Yes we are rural but we own the place (that needs a bit of work that's financed by a loan) and this is a priceless feeling and honestly the area is really nice and all this is worth a commute to us.

    I think I've read that your wife is currently pregnant with twins, if you want to buy a house, then maybe do it before the babies are here, otherwise it'll be even more difficult getting a mortgage for you.

    It's all about making it work :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,009 ✭✭✭Charles Babbage


    BillyBobBS wrote: »
    What a surprise to see a thread like this on Boards. A real shocker.

    Many of the people discussed have a lot of time on their hands. Why not come in here and put their point of view in rebuttal of the points made?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    Surprised she only has 2 kids to be honest, would expect her to have at least 4..

    That would even be too much work for her :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 534 ✭✭✭eezipc


    SteM wrote: »
    Were you not on some other thread wondering how long it would take to get a council house with more bedrooms now that you were having 2 more kids or something like that?
    You can't afford them. If you can't house them properly you can't afford them. Affording them doesn’t just mean feeding them and clothing them.

    Yup that was me.

    We got mortgage approval i stated on that as well. can't get a 3 bed with that kind of money now.
    I got a 3 bed detached house for under 30k two years ago. Admittedly it's in the arse of Roscommon but at least its my own house. A quick look on Daft.ie shows up over 100 properties in Co Cork for under 100K. Use the 20K to do the place up and you would have a nice little house. There is a sense of pride involved when you get your own place and do it up to your tastes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭howamidifferent


    osarusan wrote: »
    And they won't go anywhere, and what then?

    If they don't take the option to improve their own life, then take kids into care and provide a cardboard box for her. :mad:


  • Posts: 17,728 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    optogirl wrote: »
    It's hardly her fault if the fathers aren't contributing

    Well she played her part in having the kids like. If you don't have a stable home environment should you be having kids at all?

    She got to late 20s without having kids so you'd imagine she knew the ropes so to speak.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    The medical history is the issue.

    While i satisfy the criteria to pass a medical for a licence, my medical problems impede me in the physical aspect of the work, hence some employers won't take me on.

    I just pull up, open the curtains/back doors and the truck is loaded/unloaded for me.

    It's the pulling and shoving in the back and on/off the truck i can't do.


    Reskill then.

    I ve arthritis in both elbows so can no longer do the work i used to. Back in college and starting my final year. Im 42 so its never too late.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,076 ✭✭✭✭neris


    osarusan wrote: »
    And if they don't/won't a job, then what?

    they get nothing at all then from the state. no house, no hostel, no hotel, no money, no benefits, no medical card etc. they dont want to contribute to the country then the country shouldnt contribute to them. tough **** but im fed up seeing leeches like this one sponging everything they can get and its getting worse


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,196 ✭✭✭boardsuser1


    LirW wrote: »
    I really wish you all the best with it. I know it's sometimes a bit hard when the finances aren't what you expected.
    Someone posted a link to houses in County Cork for your price range and I can only urge you to think about this.
    We have 2 kids and I'm currently having maternity leave but would work from home - self-employed and do not have records in Ireland yet. So impossible for us to get a mortgage. We had a huge deposit though and were asking for a quite small mortgage but wouldn't fit in the criteria, so we decided to buy for the hard cash we had.
    Yes we are rural but we own the place (that needs a bit of work that's financed by a loan) and this is a priceless feeling and honestly the area is really nice and all this is worth a commute to us.

    I think I've read that your wife is currently pregnant with twins, if you want to buy a house, then maybe do it before the babies are here, otherwise it'll be even more difficult getting a mortgage for you.

    It's all about making it work :)

    Thank you for your kind post :)

    Where abouts in the county are they within that price range?

    Working from home would be a great advantage indeed, if i come off the road i could work from home within my industry.

    Yeah she's pregnant with twins, completely different pregnant altogether.

    We were offered out current house for 80k.

    It would need more than 40k worth of work all in to turn it around but it is an option to look deeper into if all else doesn't go to plan.

    Hope you are enjoying your maternity leave :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭howamidifferent


    neris wrote: »
    they get nothing at all then from the state. no house, no hostel, no hotel, no money, no benefits, no medical card etc. they dont want to contribute to the country then the country shouldnt contribute to them. tough **** but im fed up seeing leeches like this one sponging everything they can get and its getting worse

    I'd like to thank this post 1000 times. :pac:


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  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 255 ✭✭PuppyMcPupFace


    optogirl wrote: »
    It's hardly her fault if the fathers aren't contributing

    Oh yes it is, perhaps waiting until you've celebrated a birthday with therm before having a child ?

    This is one of the reasons I was thrilled with the Marriage Referendum, having long standing couples use the word "partner" when its been taken by some wagon who met soft lad on the internet 2 weeks ago, not right.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Hollister11


    She should be ****ed off the list.

    Go get a job, and a better life for yourself. You have had 12 years to work and save for a house, and don't blame the kids. You had 8 years without a kid to work 40/50/60 hours a week and BUY a house.

    Your entitled to nothing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,196 ✭✭✭boardsuser1


    Owryan wrote: »
    Reskill then.

    I ve arthritis in both elbows so can no longer do the work i used to. Back in college and starting my final year. Im 42 so its never too late.

    I have other skills, I was shot down for a security licence only last month.

    I have been asked would i consider social care which i hope to do 3 nights a week over 2 years.

    That is a job i should have done sooner admittedly.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    I have other skills, I was shot down for a security licence only last month.

    I have been asked would i consider social care which i hope to do 3 nights a week over 2 years.

    That is a job i should have done sooner admittedly.


    Thats what im currently studying, best of luck.


  • Posts: 17,728 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    ..............

    That is a job i should have done sooner admittedly.

    Hindsight :)
    We all have simialr thoughts really, such is life.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    It would need more than 40k worth of work all in to turn it around but it is an option to look deeper into if all else doesn't go to plan.

    Depending on what needs to be done, if you have to replumb and rewire that place (we have to do this now) that will set you back a bit, anything else is variable and can be compromised with unless it's something substantial.

    You'll figure it all out eventually.

    Just look on myhome and daft for County Cork and put the max price in you want to pay, someone even posted a link a few pages back for it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,196 ✭✭✭boardsuser1


    Owryan wrote: »
    Thats what im currently studying, best of luck.

    Thank you, best of luck with your studies :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,808 ✭✭✭take everything


    Might be an unpopular thing to say but two things struck me about that article.

    Why on earth would someone have a second child if she can't afford to provide for them properly.

    And where is the dad (s). Maybe I missed it but I didn't see anything about it in the story.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,713 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    neris wrote: »
    they get nothing at all then from the state. no house, no hostel, no hotel, no money, no benefits, no medical card etc. they dont want to contribute to the country then the country shouldnt contribute to them. tough **** but im fed up seeing leeches like this one sponging everything they can get and its getting worse
    If they don't take the option to improve their own life, then take kids into care and provide a cardboard box for her. :mad:

    Is that really the solution you'd be happy with in that situation?

    I can see the appeal in the idea that they should get nothing, but it doesn't solve anything really.

    Certainly there are some people who would be shocked into getting off their arse and getting a job, but for those that don't, do we really want to see their kids taken off them and them sleeping on the street? And you'd be surprised how much money that doesn't save, too.

    Or is it a bluff? And the problem is that a certain number of people will always call the state's bluff.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    If they don't take the option to improve their own life, then take kids into care and provide a cardboard box for her. :mad:
    Then what?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,291 ✭✭✭✭Gatling



    We were offered out current house for 80k.

    It would need more than 40k worth of work all in to turn it around but it is an option to look deeper into if all else doesn't go to plan.


    So 80 k for the current house which would need 40 put into it ,
    You were offered 120k mortgage going by your earlier post .
    So you could have actually done it ,but your hoping to be rehoused in a larger house but buy that instead ,but would bigger mortgage not be required for a bigger property


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 255 ✭✭PuppyMcPupFace


    seamus wrote: »
    Then what?

    What do you mean, then what ?

    That's it - no D'Arcy whining, no coverage in the tabloids just over, done.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 255 ✭✭PuppyMcPupFace


    osarusan wrote: »
    Is that really the solution you'd be happy with in that situation?

    I can see the appeal in the idea that they should get nothing, but it doesn't solve anything really.

    Certainly there are some people who would be shocked into getting off their arse and getting a job, but for those that don't, do we really want to see their kids taken off them and them sleeping on the street?

    Or is it a bluff? And the problem is that a certain number of people will always call the state's bluff.

    I wouldn't bat an eyelid.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,713 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    What do you mean, then what ?
    If they get seriously ill...we just let them die?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,297 ✭✭✭Ri_Nollaig


    Might be an unpopular thing to say but two things struck me about that article.

    Why on earth would someone have a second child if she can't afford to provide for them properly.

    And where is the dad (s). Maybe I missed it but I didn't see anything about it in the story.

    Why have the first?
    Probably to move her up the list.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,841 ✭✭✭Squatter



    Might be an unpopular thing to say but two things struck me about that article.

    Why on earth would someone have a second child if she can't afford to provide for them properly.

    And where is the dad (s). Maybe I missed it but I didn't see anything about it in the story.

    Two possibilities:

    either the Indo "journalist" (Elaine Keogh) who wrote the story didn't want to ask any difficult questions. As she sees it, her job is to scribble up a "human interest" story that her editor will publish. It's "misery porn" journalism at its finest.

    OR

    The journo and her editor knew exactly what sort of a response such a one-sided piece of soft reportage would provoke, and went for it!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    Squatter wrote: »
    The journo and her editor knew exactly what sort of a response such a one-sided piece of soft reportage would provoke, and went for it!

    I would imagine this is the case. Also mission accomplished because I'm fuming. :mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,713 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    Squatter wrote: »
    The journo and her editor knew exactly what sort of a response such a one-sided piece of soft reportage would provoke, and went for it!
    This I'm sure.

    The Indo works hard to make as many people as angry as possible.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭Stone Deaf 4evr


    It cracks me up how little understanding people have of how the world works.

    take her kids off her - ok, have you any idea how much it costs the state to keep a child in care? to pay foster parents, social workers etc? - Social workers will always try and keep families together unless theres a danger to the kids as its ultimately better for them, and less expensive to the state.

    let her go homeless - grand, just say she dies on the street - quantify the cost of the emergency services, an inquest, a state paid for funeral?


    If society in general can't look after their own, then it has failed at a fundamental level.
    Its very easy to buy into the mentality that its all one way traffic with people on the dole or whatever, but these people spend money in shops, use utilities and services etc etc, and pay for that out of their meager allowance. A portion of this money spent goes back to the state as VAT, not to mind the fact that they help provide jobs by virtue of simply visiting shops etc in the first place.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    It cracks me up how little understanding people have of how the world works.

    take her kids off her - ok, have you any idea how much it costs the state to keep a child in care? to pay foster parents, social workers etc? - Social workers will always try and keep families together unless theres a danger to the kids as its ultimately better for them, and less expensive to the state.

    let her go homeless - grand, just say she dies on the street - quantify the cost of the emergency services, an inquest, a state paid for funeral?


    If society in general can't look after their own, then it has failed at a fundamental level.
    Its very easy to buy into the mentality that its all one way traffic with people on the dole or whatever, but these people spend money in shops, use utilities and services etc etc, and pay for that out of their meager allowance. A portion of this money spent goes back to the state as VAT, not to mind the fact that they help provide jobs by virtue of simply visiting shops etc in the first place.


    So what your saying is WE should just give her a house and be done with it?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,121 ✭✭✭amcalester


    It cracks me up how little understanding people have of how the world works.

    take her kids off her - ok, have you any idea how much it costs the state to keep a child in care? to pay foster parents, social workers etc? - Social workers will always try and keep families together unless theres a danger to the kids as its ultimately better for them, and less expensive to the state.

    let her go homeless - grand, just say she dies on the street - quantify the cost of the emergency services, an inquest, a state paid for funeral?


    If society in general can't look after their own, then it has failed at a fundamental level.
    Its very easy to buy into the mentality that its all one way traffic with people on the dole or whatever, but these people spend money in shops, use utilities and services etc etc, and pay for that out of their meager allowance. A portion of this money spent goes back to the state as VAT, not to mind the fact that they help provide jobs by virtue of simply visiting shops etc in the first place.

    She is being looked after, just not to the standard she expects.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,759 ✭✭✭Winterlong


    ChikiChiki wrote: »
    So what your saying is WE should just give her a house and be done with it?

    We should give her a house and encourage anyone who does not want to work to apply for one. And give them a house too. Pronto.
    And people who are working today should stop working and apply for a house too if they want one, or want a bigger nicer one.
    Free houses for all.
    And all the vat we pay in the shops will pay for the lot. And the magic money tree.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,568 ✭✭✭BillyBobBS


    Foxhound38 wrote: »
    If you feel so bad about it then maybe you should voluntarily agree to take on an extra shift to finance the house of the next 18 year old with no dependents who waltz's into the council looking for a free house.

    You won't get a council house as an 18 year old with no dependents. Also iv'e asked the question several times on this thread but what free houses?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭howamidifferent


    I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

    Likewise, situation is of her own making...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    What do you mean, then what ?
    It's a leading question.

    You give her a cardboard box, so she goes to live on the streets, gets involved in crime, perhaps turns to substance abuse. Her children have to live with a mess of mother who's in and out of their lives due to varying degrees of sobriety and criminality.

    After 3 or four stints in mountjoy, years of frequenting the clinics in Dublin 1 and consuming the resources of Gardai, social workers, health professionals, civil servants, she dies on the street and her children and family are left grieving and angry at a society that refused to help her.

    Will all that be cheaper for society than having her on the housing list? No.

    If you were given a cardboard box and told to cop onto yourself, you probably would. You mistakenly assume that the same logic applies to everyone else.

    If this woman was capable of "copping on" and providing an unassisted life for herself, she would. But she doesn't. Whether it's down to a simple lack of education, or something more permanent like a disability, she's not on the housing list just because she couldn't be arsed.

    What you're talking about is the equivalent of kicking someone out of their lifeboat into the water and telling them that they should just go get their own boat. While you pull their lifeboat up onto your yacht.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    To all the people that are saying "take the kids away": Have you ever heard of the Norwegian Barnevernet? They basically do this, they take hundreds of kids off their parents for sometimes ridiculous reasons. You've been in Foster care? You're not fit for parenting therefore you can't have kids and we'll take them off you. You're from a different cultural background and your kid might be behind in school? Better take them off you.
    These people sometimes never get to see their kids again.
    They also get their kids taken off them for this very reason: They are poor and struggle housing them. Siblings get placed with different fosters and this results in hundreds of broken families.
    Now THIS really causes mental health issues and treating this is a million times more difficult than being unlucky and being born as some sponger's kid.
    I'm not saying it should stay the way it is but a system that's taking place in Norway certainly isn't the solution.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,568 ✭✭✭BillyBobBS


    Hilarious to read some of the opinions from people on here about this issue. Thank god it's not a wildly held view in our society as there is a real bang of the the master race about it.

    The answer is and always has been the building of proper social and affordable housing for those less fortunate in our society and indeed for those who are in average paying employment. Until that happens everything that comes out of government is just PR and bluster.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭howamidifferent


    BillyBobBS wrote: »

    The answer is and always has been the building of proper social and affordable housing for those less fortunate in our society and indeed for those who are in average paying employment. Until that happens everything that comes out of government is just PR and bluster.

    Agreed but until that happens, we should prioritize help for those who are making some attempt themselves, not put the free-loaders to the front of the queue. Make people like the woman in that article understand that her lifestyle choices are not my problem.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    If society in general can't look after their own, then it has failed at a fundamental level.

    No, if people in general can't look after themselves, and society does nothing to compel them to, then society has failed on a fundamental level.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43,028 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    Even in the boom when tens of thousands of houses were being built it was still a ten year plus wait for a house


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,798 ✭✭✭✭DrumSteve


    Some seriously angry people on here.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,093 ✭✭✭rawn


    BillyBobBS wrote:
    The answer is and always has been the building of proper social and affordable housing for those less fortunate in our society and indeed for those who are in average paying employment. Until that happens everything that comes out of government is just PR and bluster.


    How is she less fortunate?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,854 ✭✭✭Iseedeadpixels


    DrumSteve wrote: »
    Some seriously angry people on here.

    Rawwwwr


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    BillyBobBS wrote: »
    Hilarious to read some of the opinions from people on here about this issue. Thank god it's not a wildly held view in our society as there is a real bang of the the master race about it.

    Yep, it's all everyone else's fault she put herself on the housing list at age 18 (definitely the actions of someone planning to work at some point), spent 10 years waiting around for a house with no dependents while the rest of us worked our b0llocks off and and now low and behold she still doesn't have one having done exactly nothing to earn one.

    Silly us, maybe we should all take an extra few shifts to see if we can finance this house of hers that little bit faster. Because where else do you think this money is coming from? Do you honestly not see why people who are working and struggling and being responsible are annoyed at the attitude of someone who has never worked, who is content to "wait for a house" for 12 years and moan in the papers that is isn't coming fast enough, all the while with 2 kids she can't provide for because she can't keep a roof over their heads? Do you honestly not see the problem here?

    Jesus wept :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    This girl is the same age as me.

    At 18 (when she went on the housing list) it was 2003/2004....I seem to remember there being a few jobs around. In fact I seem to remember walking into any number of decently paid part time jobs during my virtually free first year in college. Times were good. In fact I'd been able to obtain a multitude part time jobs since I was 14. It never occurred to me to put my name down on a housing list.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,196 ✭✭✭boardsuser1


    Gatling wrote: »
    So 80 k for the current house which would need 40 put into it ,
    You were offered 120k mortgage going by your earlier post .
    So you could have actually done it ,but your hoping to be rehoused in a larger house but buy that instead ,but would bigger mortgage not be required for a bigger property

    No, I said MORE than 40k.

    40k would barely put a dent in it.


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,576 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Pinch Flat wrote: »
    There's people who've lived like this for several generations. They expect the State to cater for all their needs - roof over their heads, clothes for the children, bit of cash in their pocket. Seem to make a comfortable living out of it once they know all their entitlements. No intention of saving / getting a mortgage / personal responsibility - just expect the the state to house them.

    I imagine Americans feel similarly about Europeans expecting the government to provide education and healthcare.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    If the energy generated by the rabble and their usual ranting could be harnessed for building houses there'd be a free house for everyone and no one would pay any tax either.

    What could does raving about some youngwan cadging off the system do ye? She doesn't give a fcuk about ye, and why should she?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,547 ✭✭✭Foxhound38


    What could does raving about some youngwan cadging off the system do ye?

    Keeps the blood pressure in check. We'll need it if we're to have the energy to work until we're in our 70's to keep the "no way, we won't pay" types with the lifestyle they have grown accustomed to. ;)


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,205 ✭✭✭Gringo180



    I believe low paid workers should be helped where possible, those unwilling to work like the person in the article should be pointed towards the ports.

    Why should the tax payer have to foot the bill for big corporations paying there workers minimum wage?


This discussion has been closed.
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