How come Tinder is so difficult?

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:22PM

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

How old are these guys? That is a bit dickish IMO. Some people might take offence to the second explanation, but the bolded bit is worse in my book.

Also, while that may go some way to explaining why some guys will respond if i send the first message, or if they're not really interested, what about the guys who send the first message or are supposedly interested and don't grasp what i mean when i point out that their conversational skills leave a lot to be desired?

For the same reasons they message first Im sorry. Although that could mean they were interested but arent and are keep short messaging you for the second reason mentioned. Im sorry but this is kinda what tinder is like.
The lads would be ranged from 25-35, so not exactly kids
Some people might be offended, Im aware of this, but that is the situation, now obviously not every one, but I would say more than most

06-12-2016 07:24PM

BabyE wrote: »

Somehow I've kept going gym for the last 6 years, non-stop even though about 3 years in I realised as a short guy with (I assume) a face that isn't attractive to girls even though I don't think I'm ugly(but not being ugly doesn't mean anything, its about being positively good looking), that it was a fruitless endeavour but I've continued going, wasn't it Einstein who said the definition of madness is doing something again and again and expecting a different result

If you are short then you have zero elbow room nowadays for any other flaws in my opinion so it's wise to keep it up!

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:24PM

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

Yeah I've used it on and off over about 2 years, met roughly 6 or 7 guys off it. Met two of them a second time each

I wouldnt say you dont know how to use it then. I would recommend the same thing I tell guys to do, only match the people youre proper attracted to and dont waste time on maybes (granted you might miss a few guys you like) but in general it works better

BabyE · 06-12-2016 07:27PM

Deleted User wrote: »

If you are short then you have zero elbow room nowadays for any other flaws in my opinion so it's wise to keep it up!

Legit, short is an absolute death sentence unless you happen to have a top tier face or some form of high social status to compensate.

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:30PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

Oh, give over! Do you mean to say you contact a woman online and ask/invite them over for sex! And they invite you over or come over without any public interaction!

That is a bit sad if thats how you go about pulling! Whatever about people meeting up, going for drinks and on the probable assumption they may end up sleeping with eachother. To call over to a strangers house for the sole reason to have sex is just socially strange.

Yes this happens quiet a lot

not just with me but countless others. This is my point about tinder, I wasnt the only one using it for just one reason.
Why is it sad, if I dont want to go out drinking hoping to pick up women, whats wrong with sitting in reading a book and messaging a girl and ask her over

, I probably know her as well as id know a girl I met out drinking

BabyE · 06-12-2016 07:32PM

Kal El wrote: »

Yes this happens quiet a lot not just with me but countless others. This is my point about tinder, I wasnt the only one using it for just one reason.
Why is it sad, if I dont want to go out drinking hoping to pick up women, whats wrong with sitting in reading a book and messaging a girl and ask her over , I probably know her as well as id know a girl I met out drinking

Legit, people are still under this illusion about girls that they don't have a primal sexual desire like men. Girls love sex, especially sex with good looking, extroverted, high demand men.

06-12-2016 07:32PM

BabyE wrote: »

Legit, short is an absolute death sentence unless you happen to have a top tier face.

I feel though that by even saying this on the internet we are adding slightly to the toxicity of the culture .. like it is kind of arbitrary what height is considered short. 100 years ago I would've been average height. It would be great to be able to contemplate the theory of all this with my body *just happening to be* 4 inches taller!

The Talking Bread · 06-12-2016 07:32PM

Kal El wrote: »

Yes this happens quiet a lot not just with me but countless others. This is my point about tinder, I wasnt the only one using it for just one reason.
Why is it sad, if I dont want to go out drinking hoping to pick up women, whats wrong with sitting in reading a book and messaging a girl and ask her over , I probably know her as well as id know a girl I met out drinking

I guess sex is sex for different people! It seems to be like ordering a pizza for you!

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:33PM

blacklilly wrote: »

I totally agree but it happens more regularly than you'd think. Not my thing at all

Im still surprised when people are shocked about it.

The Talking Bread wrote: »

I a well aware such happens. But the casual admission (claim) that he does it frequently doesn't seem to resonate with me as normal behaviour! I would prefer to meet someone and go on a date and then see where it goes as sleeping with a woman who would agree to engage in sex with a stranger online w/out meeting them is just f'in ridiculous. Its just free prostitution!

Just because you prefer it doesnt make it universal. Im not trying to tell you to do it, Im merely pointing out how often it is done. That fact that you compare it to prostitution is a stone age view and very judgemental.
I wasnt making a claim its merely how tinder works, Im actually surprised you werent aware about it

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:35PM

BabyE wrote: »

Yes it happens on a primal level, deep down, it's not like they are doing this actively, rather it is the results of millions of years of evolution. But c'mon tell me how it's 'all about personality', and 'confidence' and 'being interesting' while every good looking guy I know has girls on tap.

This isnt right at all

BabyE · 06-12-2016 07:35PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I feel though that by even saying this on the internet we are adding slightly to the toxicity of the culture .. like it is kind of arbitrary what height is considered short. 100 years ago I would've been average height. It would be great to be able to contemplate the theory of all this with my body *just happening to be* 4 inches taller!

I reckon the theory is fairly iron clad, a girl will like a guy in spite of their height if they can compensate, and tbh I think this is something I've basically heard girls say aloud. and it is not very stigmatised or taboo. 'He's not tall, but he's handsome'. There is always a caveat.

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:37PM

BabyE wrote: »

Legit, people are still under this illusion about girls that they don't have a primal sexual desire like men. Girls love sex, especially sex with good looking, extroverted, high demand man.

I dont know about the bold part, defo doesnt apply to me :pac:
But I think people have a stone age view about girls in some parts

The Talking Bread · 06-12-2016 07:37PM

Kal El wrote: »

Im still surprised when people are shocked about it.

Just because you prefer it doesnt make it universal. Im not trying to tell you to do it, Im merely pointing out how often it is done. That fact that you compare it to prostitution is a stone age view and very judgemental.
I wasnt making a claim its merely how tinder works, Im actually surprised you werent aware about it

It isn't done that often. It really isn't. And I never said I wasn't aware of it but yeah, it is very hard not to judge someone who uses tinder to "rent a ride" frequently!

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:38PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

I guess sex is sex for different people! It seems to be like ordering a pizza for you!

Not really, I never message my pizza guy for a couple of hours :pac: explaining what book Im reading

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:40PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

It isn't done that often. It really isn't. And I never said I wasn't aware of it but yeah, it is very hard not to judge someone who uses tinder to "rent a ride" frequently!

Its really quiet common place tbh. I have travelled and lived with a group of over 50 guys and everyone of us did it. We ranged on level of attractiveness.
Why would you judge someone over it though

serious question

BabyE · 06-12-2016 07:46PM

Kal El wrote: »

Its really quiet common place tbh. I have travelled and lived with a group of over 50 guys and everyone of us did it. We ranged on level of attractiveness.
Why would you judge someone over it though serious question

I'd say you'd be surprised bro. I bet you guys are better looking than girl equivalents. If you guys are picking up chicks that easy you guys are probably part of the problem(no hate) so I'd say you guys are getting with girls who are a few points below you on the looks scale.

Conor Bourke · 06-12-2016 07:47PM

Kal El wrote: »

I wouldnt say you dont know how to use it then. I would recommend the same thing I tell guys to do, only match the people youre proper attracted to and dont waste time on maybes (granted you might miss a few guys you like) but in general it works better

I do know how to use it, and thats what i do

The Talking Bread · 06-12-2016 07:48PM

Kal El wrote: »

Its really quiet common place tbh. I have travelled and lived with a group of over 50 guys and everyone of us did it. We ranged on level of attractiveness.
Why would you judge someone over it though serious question

Why wouldn't you make a judgement over someone for doing it. If you heard your sister was out meeting strangers she never met in person and going down merely have sex, would it not turn your head.

I think most people would judge a woman for doing it and Id equally judge a lad if thats the sexual lifestyle they go by!

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:50PM

BabyE wrote: »

I'd say you'd be surprised bro. I bet you guys are better looking than girl equivalents. If you guys are picking up chicks that easy you guys are probably part of the problem(no hate) so I'd say you guys are getting with girls who are a few points below you on the looks scale.

Nah buddy, some guy showed my how to tinder. Good first photo, only like girls you find very attractive. Like a hundred, like another hundred etc etc. People give up to easy imo. Like never message "hey". Like yeah none of us were gargoyles but top 20% maybe 3/4 of us. But we all had high levels of success.
My one regret I didnt have it back in 2011 in Sydney when I was young enough for it :pac:;)

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:51PM

Cornelius Crow wrote: »

I do know how to use it, and thats what i do

Well my only advice to you is the 100/100/100 method

You seem to just unlucky

Kal El · 06-12-2016 07:54PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

Why wouldn't you make a judgement over someone for doing it. If you heard your sister was out meeting strangers she never met in person and going down merely have sex, would it not turn your head.

I think most people would judge a woman for doing it and Id equally judge a lad if thats the sexual lifestyle they go by!

Honestly if I heard my sister was doing it I dont think Id be surprised. I dont think about it because its not my business. I dont judge women for doing it at all, I think its 2016 we shouldnt be judging women for doing something sexual these days, I think its outrageous to. In equal parts I wouldnt judge a guy for doing it.
Random question, how do you feel about a guy going out and buying a girl drinks all night with the intention of sleeping with her ?
Or a girl sleeping with a guy who bought her drinks all night ?

BabyE · 06-12-2016 07:57PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

Why wouldn't you make a judgement over someone for doing it. If you heard your sister was out meeting strangers she never met in person and going down merely have sex, would it not turn your head.

I think most people would judge a woman for doing it and Id equally judge a lad if thats the sexual lifestyle they go by!

The difference is a guy wouldn't want to be with a girl that had been with a lot of guys, but for a girl that would be a sign of his desirability and would render him more attractive.
"'A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a ****ty lock.'”

The Talking Bread · 06-12-2016 08:05PM

BabyE wrote: »

The difference is a guy wouldn't want to be with a girl that had been with a lot of guys, but for a girl that would be a sign of his desirability and would render him more attractive.
"'A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a ****ty lock.'”

You seem to have a very negative approach to the mind of a woman and you claim to be very unsuccessful with women. There may just be a connection there.

BabyE · 06-12-2016 08:11PM

WTF it is simple human psychology. I'm going to start a Tinder experiment later, normally when people run these experiments they do so by using subjects that vary widely, i.e a male model vs some neckbeard. I will run an average 5/10 guy(good style, works out) vs a 6.8/10 rugby jock, not exactly handsome but has all the trappings of desirability. I guarantee the rugby jock will obliterate the 5/10. The disparity shouldn't be too great but knowing how the dating game works.

Kal El · 06-12-2016 08:13PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

You seem to have a very negative approach to the mind of a woman and you claim to be very unsuccessful with women. There may just be a connection there.

Ouch :pac: I dont disagree with you on womens mind frame though. Thats far to generic view on people

Kal El · 06-12-2016 08:17PM

BabyE wrote: »

WTF it is simple human psychology. I'm going to start a Tinder experiment later, normally when people run these experiments they do so by using subjects that vary widely, i.e a male model vs some neckbeard. I will run an average 5/10 guy(good style, works out) vs a 6.8/10 rugby jock, not exactly handsome but has all the trappings of desirability. I guarantee the rugby jock will obliterate the 5/10. The disparity shouldn't be too great but knowing how the dating game works.

I cant agree with you on this. Im 5 10 and my brother is 6 ft. We both get way more attention than our friends who fit the example you give. Granted we all play rugby but purely height wise we would beat them.

The Talking Bread · 06-12-2016 08:17PM

BabyE wrote: »

WTF it is simple human psychology. I'm going to start a Tinder experiment later, normally when people run these experiments they do so by using subjects that vary widely, i.e a male model vs some neckbeard. I will run an average 5/10 guy(good style, works out) vs a 6.8/10 rugby jock, not exactly handsome but has all the trappings of desirability. I guarantee the rugby jock will obliterate the 5/10. The disparity shouldn't be too great but knowing how the dating game works.

the fact is you can't seem to see past this and you have a negative prejudice against women it seems so it makes for very unattractive traits. If you lived your dating life by basic psychology and experiments the chances are you are going to be unsuccessful.

Now that is basic psychology also.

Triceratops Ballet · 06-12-2016 08:21PM

BabyE wrote:

WTF it is simple human psychology. I'm going to start a Tinder experiment later, normally when people run these experiments they do so by using subjects that vary widely, i.e a male model vs some neckbeard. I will run an average 5/10 guy vs a 6.8/10 rugby jock, not exactly handsome but has all the trappings of desirability. I guarantee the rugby jock will obliterate the 5/10. The disparity shouldn't be too great but knowing how the dating game works.

That's a flawed approach to an experiment. Firstly the rankings of 5/10 and 6.8/10 are arbitrary and totally subjective not all women find the same things attractive and attractiveness is not definitively measurable. Secondly you've no way to ensure that the same women view both profiles.

So basically all ur doing tonight is catfishing a bunch of women, and pretending its an experiment. Is it any wonder women are reluctant to respond to messages

Kal El · 06-12-2016 08:22PM

The Talking Bread wrote: »

the fact is you can't seem to see past this and you have a negative prejudice against women it seems so it makes for very unattractive traits. If you lived your dating life by basic psychology and experiments the chances are you are going to be unsuccessful.

Now that is basic psychology also.

I dont think hes wrong using psychology, I think its not being applied correctly. As for experiments, I dont see a problem with that at all. No harm trying something out

Kal El · 06-12-2016 08:24PM

dottie_lottie wrote: »

That's a flawed approach to an experiment. Firstly the rankings of 5/10 and 6.8/10 are arbitrary and totally subjective not all women find the same things attractive and attractiveness is not definitively measurable. Secondly you've no way to ensure that the same women view both profiles.

So basically all ur doing tonight is catfishing a bunch of women, and pretending its an experiment. Is it any wonder women are reluctant to respond to messages

I think thats the general problem in the public right now, is thinking its one shoe fits all. For me a stoneage view on life. Its akin to back in the day asking does she have road frontage :pac:

How come Tinder is so difficult?

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