Forced "fun" in the workplace

messrs

We are all expected to go to all company nights out with the MD telling us its a reflection of how you feel about your job/department/manager if you don't go. He is very strict on this. Had a night out for Halloween recently and it was compulsory fancy dress - nothing against it but just not my thing. Explained that I didn't want to get dressed up and was told to 'Suck it up' and just do it and I was expected to be there! Was very unfortunate that my babysitter cancelled at the last minute so could not go!

Also back in May there was another night out and I told them I couldn't go as I was going to my nieces communion and party that evening in my sisters house & the MD actually to me "How close are you to your niece?" Like do you actually need to go!

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119958180#Comment_119958180

Have you looked for a job where the company culture is a better fit for your personality?

Floppybits

I am sitting at my desk dreading the Secret Santa email. I am hoping its gone to late for it or because the company has grown in size that there wont be one this year.

One thing I hate is this "fun" in the work place, usually driven by some little cabal in the HR department, who probably have nothing better to do.

Sunny Disposition

Nothing at all wrong with people enjoying craic with their workmates, but trying to force it on people is just stupid and counterproductive.

Really, it's a better sign if some people opt out of these things, then there's less pressure on your workers and you know they don't feel they have to go to them.

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119958405#Comment_119958405

Or better still, people should opt-in to these things - if you want to do Secret Santa, by all means, let people who want to be involved opt-in. I didn't opt-in for the World Cup pool recently. I've no difficulty with those who want to get involved, just not for me.

BrianD3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119958180#Comment_119958180

If you hadn't "sucked it up" or lied about the babysitter what would have happened. In a situation like that I'd be very inclined to take a stand. Many people including myself are uncomfortable with fancy dress clownery. Most won't push back but it only takes one to show the way.

IMO an employer with the attitude described will inevitably end up in the WRC (and losing) over something or other at some stage.

BTW were there any restrictions on what you could dress up as. How about Patrick "Postal" Sherrill or James "Big Mac" Huberty. LOL.

noahungry

The concept of Forced fun at the workplace is very much present nowadays (btw, I love the name of the thread). Social events (of any type) within a company cannot be mandatory to attend. I mean, simple logic tells you that making something like this mandatory will have the opposite effect of what you're trying to achieve.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119958016#Comment_119958016

110% agree with you. Let's get our ducks in a row and raise the flag and see who salutes.

Remember, a rolling stone is worth two in the bush.

messrs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119958602#Comment_119958602

Someone asked another member of senior management what would happen if they didn't dress up and they were told they wouldn't be let in if they weren't dressed up! Dont know if they would have actually followed through on it. Those who were happy to dress up went and those who didnt want to dress up just didnt go to it

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119958908#Comment_119958908

That's nuts! Why do business's seem to think they get to determine what people do outside of work?

I work an enough hours with you during the week and the idea of wearing a poxy Christmas jumper or fancy dress is somehow appealing? I'd most definitely be telling them where to go and wouldn't be making excuses.

What's wrong with just saying "no" or "I couldn't be arsed"?

Mollyb60

A lady I work with lost her mother around Christmas and as a result hates the season. She has no issue with other people celebrating but it's a somber and sad time for her so she doesn't get involved in Christmas activities. Our new manager has asked her multiple times why she doesn't want to come to the Christmas Breakfast that she's arranging for the team. I've even privately told the manager why she doesn't want to come but she keeps on bringing it up and asking her again and again. It's harassment as far as I'm concerned.

Thankfully the wider culture here isn't one where mandatory fun is a thing. You join in if you want. As it should be. There's just the odd bullheaded manager like mine that won't take no for an answer. Her attitude towards my colleague and her general sh1tness as a manager means I won't be going to her stupid breakfast either.

Deebles McBeebles

Xmas meal email this year..."Attendance is encouraged".

Hahahahahahaha not a chance you absolute weapon.

breezy1985

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954495#Comment_119954495

Swamp donkey is such a good term.

I'm currently laughing away to myself in a quiet corner of the canteen.

DownByTheGarden

Years ago I worked at a company and used to go out when the drinks were on the company.

Then two things at once happened.

I started getting the ride regularly and the company stopped the free drinks on nights out.

As you can imagine my priorities shifted to getting the ride, rather than expansive drinks on company nights out with people i saw every day.

In my yearly performance review (not the riding one) I was told that i had stopped going to social events and that I needed to start going to more. I was scored on that review and got a 3 out of 10 under the sports and social heading. I couldnt explain to yer wan doing my review what my priorities were. she wouldnt have understood.

messrs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119958960#Comment_119958960

Totally agree - if people dont want to go they shouldnt be forced or made feel bad about it. I have gone to plenty of work nights out no problem at all - just the Halloween I didn't because I dont like dressing up in fancy constume and the one in May i genuinely had something else on.

Our HR calls it 'quietly quitting' if people dont want to go to company events - he reckons they have no interest in the company and assumes they are looking for work else where

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959158#Comment_119959158

Heard that crap before. Is my job being done? Oh it is, is it? What's the problem...oh you're paying me to go to pub...no? Feck off. There's a rugby match on Friday and the pub doesn't do proper toasties.

I'm not bitter at all, just can't be arsed. I'm not unsociable, but my colleagues aren't my mates. Good people, but trekking into town for a cupla free pints. Nah!

My boss did ask if I was going out for Christmas drinks last week. Kinda hinting I should. We reached an agreement and I have the day off.

SAMTALK

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119958332#Comment_119958332

Or maybe companies need to realise they dont own us !

They require someone to do the work, it's done and we get paid. They are not my friends or people I would choose to socialize with

i work to earn a wage .

TomSweeney

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954181#Comment_119954181

Christ!!!

Athlone !

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959491#Comment_119959491

There should be a reciprocal understanding, they do not own you, you are just an expendable cog in the wheel. If both look at it that way, neither needs to concern themselves about such frivolities.

corner of hells

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119957819#Comment_119957819

Yep , a çompany I worked brought us all one Christmas, they had told two staff they were being let go in early in the new year.

The problem was the free bar , the two lads drank as much as they could and served tables from other companies around us with double brandies all night.

StupidLikeAFox

On the other side of it, I once worked for a manager who organised a Christmas event around the Thursday before we finished up.

• 2pm meeting,
• some cake, bit of a chat,
• Few thank yous for the year
• raffle for a few silly prizes, selection box etc.
• Table quiz where the winner got a day off work.
• Early finish when it was over 3/3.30pm

No pressure, no fuss, no bolloxology. The way it should be

almostover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959176#Comment_119959176

Being paid to eat free turkey and ham is kosher in my books.

SAMTALK

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959547#Comment_119959547

That's it. it's a job , a way to earn money and pay bills.

If some people want to socialize after work that's fine but don't expect everyone to feel the same way

To be honest I'm looking forward to a break from them all and hope not to lay eyes on any of them over the holidays

Former Former Former

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959491#Comment_119959491

Employers can't win though, because if they didn't put on a party, there would be a lot more people moaning that the stingy baxtards won't even give us a meal and a glass of wine...

Just don't go. Problem solved. I can assure you that no-one will miss you.

Feisar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959737#Comment_119959737

Pretty sure it's not!

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959775#Comment_119959775

Couldn't give a crap about any parties. Has my pay improved...nope. add a bit extra every month and I'll not whine about forgoing crap food and cheap plonk.

SAMTALK

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959775#Comment_119959775

i didnt say they shouldnt put on a party .

If you reference the title of thread it says "forced" fun in the workplace

shesty

My manager takes his team out for lunch for Christmas, during the year the odd time (not over covid obviously).We all live in different parts of the country so there is effort for us all to manage that, and that is plenty for us all too.Quite happy with the arrangement!The office organise various events but I tend to opt out.I haven't time outside work to be doing work things, Zoom CPD events outside working hours are tough to manage never mind anything else. And I am ok with that.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959491#Comment_119959491

If you don't like the way that a company treat people, then leave and find a job that treats people the way you want to be treated. You'll be a happy wage-worker, hopefully for a long time.

However some people clearly do like company networking events. And some companies do want to get to know their people, to suss out who is promotable, and who isn't. Nothing wrong with that.

Former Former Former

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959782#Comment_119959782

They're two separate issues though.

If your employer doesn't think you deserve a raise, then cancelling the Christmas party won't change that. Do a better job, get more money.

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959820#Comment_119959820

How on earth did they manage to do that before the advent of organised fcukery?

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959820#Comment_119959820

Rubbish. You get promoted on ability and your managers can rely on you.

I'm too long in the tooth to care when people see me drinking.

Networking doesn't involve skulling pints.

Gregor Samsa

.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959631#Comment_119959631

You’d still have moaners moaning.

• 2pm? I don’t finish my lunch until 2:05!
• Ugh, cake! Seriously? Is there gluten in this?
• Why is he thanking these people? They’re just doing their jobs! How come I don’t get thanked? I turn up and do the bare minimum required.
• Oh god! A raffle with silly prizes no-one wants. The worst! And I never win.
• Table quiz! Table torture, more like. I’m not paid to answer stupid questions.
• Why couldn’t he have done this at 9, then we could have gone at 10:30 !

No good deed ever goes unpunished.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959823#Comment_119959823

Simple is it?

That's why I have left jobs and they have offered to match it+ too late.

SAMTALK

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959820#Comment_119959820

Now you're just reading things that I didnt write.

Where did I say I didnt like they way my company treated people. What I said was I go to work for X hours for X pay and I dont want to be "forced" to socialize with people I wouldnt normally socialize with

maybe go back and reference the title again !

Forced !!!! I have no problem with events for anyone that wants to go them but you should not be obliged to go

GavPJ

I'd rather **** in my hands and clap than go socialising with some of the imbeciles I work with.

Since Covid and the cancelling of Christmas parties/night away I get €2,000 in my hand, I much

prefer that.

Tony EH

Always enjoyed the Christmas party. Free drinks and food on the company. Damn right. I even like going to the Mrs.' one as well.

Helps if you can actually make and effort to get on with people.

But, yeah, forced fun like sports days...um...no. Thankfully, I never had to do that nonsense.

Mister Vain

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959775#Comment_119959775

They may not miss you but they can sure as hell give you a hard time over it, both before and after the party.

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959820#Comment_119959820

Everything wrong with that. Your performance At Work should provide all the detail they need to know if you are promotable. What the hell will a social event tell them that they don't already know? Why should you need to network at a social event for your own company? It's not a genuine social event, then, is it? It's to find the other sad sacks who live for their jobs and don't have a work/life balance, largely because they don't have an actual life outside work.

road_high

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959542#Comment_119959542

Think it was that nice hotel in the shopping centre. Thankfully I got out of it due to a family emergency. But it was pretty much “compulsory” to attend. Control freaks in hindsight but I needed the job at the time

Christmas party isn't really what I'm talking about - it's more the "fun" activities in the office... and even then, if it's optional to take part, what of it.

When people are obliged to take part though, or it could be a black mark against them if they don't... this is quite disturbing, and not an established thing. I think it's only creeping in in the last ten years or so, and continuing to do so. The toxic positivity of LinkedIn seems to be the same thing in social media form.

mariaalice

A very long time ago in another universe, my husband worked for a construction company in London, the plebs were mostly Irish, at Christmas, the foreman of the plebs was given a wad of money and they all went drinking, the engineers and management went for a posh dinner with a free bar.

Years ago I went to a Christman do which consisted of cold meat, salad, and a bread roll however there was also a load of free booze which consisted of cans and bottles of wine everyone ended up bringing the cans and wine home with them actually a very good night out.

Every work Christmas night out has been great no matter what it was but I have been to some very strange team-building days so yeah they are mostly nonsense.

forced work socialising sounds horrific.

sprucemoose

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119959780#Comment_119959780

yeah i wouldnt really describe anything to do with christmas as kosher to be honest

Count Dracula

I would rather have the option of having fun. They have to keep the animals happy and productive. The concept is that you will work in happier more productive environments, that's the plan.

You have to remember that in Ireland we are spoilt rotten with options of having fun, we legalised alcohol abuse and use it to fund the state. Most of these "have fun" work environments intend to make you a happier bunny, very clean and North American.

Cynically you could argue it is used as a control mechanism, I would say it is a result of some Harvard or Yale drivel dreamt up by post graduate social scientists who declared it worthwhile? You have to remember how lonely the US is. It has shocking community values, Yanks don't socialise like we do here. Workers often will consider their working environment as a part of their community, they spend their lives there. In many cases they won't have a life outside of their jobs, it happens.

Just make sure your social prerogative is not being compromised by having to dress up like a tit. It they make you dress up make sure the chunts pay for the costume as well.

Don't be a drag either, having a quiz in the canteen 4 times a year dressed in a Batman costume is not the end of the world.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058274436/forced-fun-in-the-workplace

Sounds like you worked in a sh*t place. Most places aren't like that.

mariaalice

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961515#Comment_119961515

you are correct it's not going to kill anyone to take part in a quiz, charity partner thing, or some corporate helping-out day, my daughter could pick what they wanted to do to give back to the community she went to a dogs charity for the day and had a great time as she loves dogs but I still think it doesn't sit well with Irish people we haven't got the psyche and culture for it, getting into a rage about it is a bit silly though.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961592#Comment_119961592

For sure, but it's a culture that seems to be creeping in.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119961630#Comment_119961630

Is someone here in a rage about it? I don't think anyone takes particular issue with your examples. They're not what would be described as forced. It's the activities which are used to "evaluate" staff that are specifically what I mean - like in the article I linked to.

Is it though? Seems more like a social media thing for complaining. Most people I know just get on with work and what not without all that stuff. Depends where you work, I guess.

mariaalice

I know with the corporate help the community thing, in one company the employees more or less had to do it, it was very frowned upon to say no so it was a very subtle way of evaluating someone.