Forced "fun" in the workplace

03-12-2022 8:24pm #1

A French man sued his former employer for dismissal due to him not wishing to be part of the company's social culture. And recently won.

It's a dreadfully toxic phenomenon. I lasted six weeks in a place where they monitored who you went on breaks with, what you did after you finished lunch, dressing up and taking part in "fun" days was obligatory. And getting dangerously wasted was totally fine on staff nights out (ironically this was a health related business). Also gossip was highly encouraged. I'm outgoing, friendly, socially confident (not that there's anything wrong with being shy) but I want my "me" time. On my break I want to go for a walk by myself sometimes. This company was completely intolerant of anything that made someone seem like an individual. I used to dread going in there.

Good for that guy in France: https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2022/11/27/france-man-fired-company-drinking-culture/

Barcley · 03-12-2022 9:01pm

I remember in one of my first jobs, my department had a sports day and everyone was expected to participate. I had a non-serious disability that I didn't want my colleagues to know about so when I didn't participate I got a lot of flak, to them I was just being anti-social. Nobody should be forced to do these 'extra-curricular' activities if they don't want to, and if they don't want to then there may be a good reason why.

igCorcaigh · 03-12-2022 9:23pm

Not forced fun, but... I worked in a small company (<10), in a small building. Lunch every day consisted of everyone playing cards in the tiny kitchen area. For the whole hour. Every day.

I just wanted to sit at my desk eating my sandwich, alone :(

igCorcaigh · 03-12-2022 9:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119953587#Comment_119953587

"Sports day"... Christ... I hated that at school. I'm never going through that charade again, as an adult.

L1011 · 03-12-2022 9:28pm

Worked in a business with a sports day. Didn't go to the first one and there were lots of questions asked. The next year their insurer told them to stop, thank feck, or else I'd have never lasted the seven years I did there.

road_high · 03-12-2022 9:29pm

Yea, I’ve felt this too- the boundaries between your private life and work seem to be more blurred than ever and this socialising crap seems to be an extension of work duties now too as part of “team building”. Making it very awkward to get off if you’re not interested or have other commitments (that I didn’t see why need to be explained post 5.00 pm). As someone who is quite private I generally loathe these nights

Strumms · 03-12-2022 9:34pm

Hopefully he sends the managers a bottle of cheap wine and a thank you card 🥳

Motivator · 03-12-2022 9:45pm

It’s the time of year again where I’m preparing for annual pre-Christmas fake weekend away with my wife. It’s just so unfortunate that it clashes with my work night out every single year. Nobody ever questions it and I always have a great time.

Gregor Samsa · 03-12-2022 10:02pm

I remember working for a company in the UK and they were insisting I get up on stage and sing and dance and tell jokes. Threatened to fire me if I didn’t. I went straight up to my boss and said “What the fúck? Do you think this place is Butlins???”

Unfortunately, it actually was.

corner of hells · 03-12-2022 10:20pm

Forced fun ? I was an apprentice on building sites in the late 80s early 90s , that was forced fun. No Health and Safety , exhibition style drinking every Thursday and guaranteed punch up at the Christmas break up.One of my colleagues took a few days off one week to do a bank raid and managed to get himself shot dead by Gardai.

igCorcaigh · 03-12-2022 10:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119953797#Comment_119953797

That read like a @fesshole tweet ;)

03-12-2022 10:27pm

Work nights out are okay within reason. Staff bonding/team building, on the other hand….

BrianD3 · 03-12-2022 10:34pm

Leaving aside the case described in the OP, I think the "need" to attend work fun events is often partly a perception - people are insecure and want to impress so when the boss says "the Christmas party is good craic, you should attend", they interpret that as an instruction. To make matters worse, the employee's malleability and openness to suggestion may result in them being marked out as weak, facilitating subsequent bullying.

I've seen this in workplaces with new staff who felt pressured into going to a Christmas party (which was paid for by the employee) and later admitted that they felt like an idiot for doing so.

This sort of stuff doesn't work on me - one advantage of being bullied and an unsociable weirdo in school is growing a pair of balls and becoming relatively immune to peer pressure at a young age.

Larbre34 · 03-12-2022 10:43pm

I've managed teams of people of various sizes for 20 years or so and I think I've done a decent enough job of it. I've learned and practice the following.

Never ever treat people like children, singularly or collectively.
Respect people's individual skills and give them ownership of their role, to perform it and innovate within it as they want, so long as outcomes are up to scratch.
Always be listening, both formally and informally. If there are grumblings about something, chances are it can be changed or improved. If it cannot, explain why and reiterate expectations.
People are perfectly entitled to do what they want with their own time. Any organisational culture needs to be reasonable and proportional and only extends to work days and work sponsored events. Other than that, mind your own damn business.

Crocodile Booze · 03-12-2022 10:49pm

Wouldnt mind escaping up her tunnel...

Get out.

Cup · 03-12-2022 11:02pm

Edit - TLDR. I see the point in enforced fun. With the right people. 😄

Hangdogroad · 03-12-2022 11:05pm

That Secret Santa bollocks, pizza parties, sports Jersey day. The previous place I worked in used to do all that kind of crap.

pgj2015 · 03-12-2022 11:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954143#Comment_119954143

Cringe. I bet the bosses thought they were mad craic. 🤮

road_high · 03-12-2022 11:17pm

Had forgotten the Secret Santa bollox. Had that in a job I was in about ten years ago. Very female orientated office- bitchiest place i ever worked. There were ones that I thought were bff’s…- 6 months later they were stabbing eachother on the back.

Thankfully that was my one and only Christmas there. The Xmas party was also an almost “compulsory” night away thing in athlone.

Ubbquittious · 03-12-2022 11:41pm

Everyone loves to hate the work nights out but if you aren't in probation and you don't go too heavy on the goose eggs you might get a shaggeen out of it

ednwireland · 03-12-2022 11:59pm

we have "spirit weeks" complete b*****x we have a people director also a waste of space. also hr and talent management. again no idea what they do. we get free t shirts with company slogans again a waste of money . we have a client centricity program instead of well actually looking after clients. just waiting for the house of cards to collapse really.

Cup · 04-12-2022 12:44am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954271#Comment_119954271

Or just, ya know, have a good night out.

04-12-2022 1:05am

I've been to many work nights out and really enjoyed them. I also quite like secret Santa. This is the point though - they should be for morale-building, not team building. And optional. They suit younger workers more too. Older workers may not have as much interest or time.

Fr Tod Umptious · 04-12-2022 1:18am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954019#Comment_119954019

I don't mind the team building things etc but WFH has found me in a bit of a predicament.

I work for a company the other side of the country.

They have team building events every so often than include an all day event, dinner and an overnight in a hotel, all of which are the other end of the country for me.

I constantly feel under pressure to go but don't want to because getting to them and home is a major pain in the ass.

We only have one car post COVID so getting public transport there and back is just time consuming.

I'm going to the Christmas party next week, which is fine but I'm going to have a quiet word with my boss and say I appreciate being included in the events but I'm more than happy to stay at home and work, because that's what I'm paid for at the end of the day.

Pintman Paddy Losty · 04-12-2022 1:19am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954475#Comment_119954475

Rubbish.

This whole thread and the people replying screams "I'm the office oddball and Christmas parties violates my human rights."

Total dirge. I love the Christmas party. Vast majority of people do. Let your hair down, neck a few gratis pints, and neck one of the swamp donkeys in the call centre. It's a great night out.

Fr Tod Umptious · 04-12-2022 1:19am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954475#Comment_119954475

They suit younger workers more too. Older workers may not have as much interest or time.

Exactly

Been there done that, quite happy to give them a miss.

Ubbquittious · 04-12-2022 1:28am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954417#Comment_119954417

Good night out surely involves a shag

TooTired123 · 04-12-2022 1:39am

Im almost 20 years in my current job, a job I love in a place and with colleagues I love. We’ve recently had the previous manager retire after 25 years and it’s only since the new manager started I’ve realized the level of……coercion surrounding attendance at social events under the old regime.

The Christmas night out and the Summer Get Together ( all expenses paid) were obligatory. No excuses. “Mary in Kilkenny office has lost her husband, the funeral is on Friday, you John and Jayleen are going. You all know her from the training days in limerick. John, you drive and you can collect the girls here. John you can put in for expenses and it’ll go in as a normal days work”. End of conversation. “Derek in Waterford is retiring on Wednesday. You remember he worked here for 6 months in 2012. There’s drinks and nibbles in the hotel across the road from the office at 5.00 and there’s going to be a presentation from the area manager so you and I will go you can drive or I will”

Its not happening now.

Cup · 04-12-2022 1:40am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119954507#Comment_119954507

To be fair, it always improves a night. But I don’t see the point in sleeping with an office randomer just because of the festive season.

04-12-2022 1:44am

Out of all the secret santas I've been involved in, I have gotten a grand total of one gift back. What did I get ? Socks.

I've witnessed christmas jumper day. I managed to get away from that for a few years by saying "I forgot".

I managd to invent a couple of funerals for the night away. "My uncle died, so can't attend".

Finish work, and a few random pints. Great! Forced socials, no thanks.

04-12-2022 1:46am

Christmas jumper day - great. I enjoy it. But others aren't bothered, and that's fine too. Nothing forced can be fun.

Forced "fun" in the workplace

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