How to get my money back from a (wealthy) friend.

BorneTobyWilde

If ten people here give you 50.00 you have your money back, and its proof that not all guys are like that dickhead.

At least you are getting €50 back OP. ^^^ 🙄

At the start of this post you were looking to get money back from a friend. You/we now know this is not the case. You were 100% scammed by someone that had, at least, previous gambling issues. It has all the signs of it being back.

You are probably way down the list of people he owes money to.

You can tell your mutual friends what he did. But tell the whole truth, you gave money to Jaime in good faith, but he has no intention of paying you back and is treating it as a gift and is no longer your friend.

You can now move on and knowing the above, I'd not contact his parents or go to the bank. He will go lower than you, such as making an harassment claim to the gardai.

Sorry you came into the orbit of this punk.

The Garda behaviour is puzzling. He threw your bike out on the road .in defence of home one can only use force needed. Where was the need to throw your bike. If it was damaged would it be criminal damage.?

Harassment law says constantly calling contacting without lawful authority or reasonable excuse, .the op seems to have a reasonable excuse.

I would not involve the parents at all.

Not legal advice

StevenToast

I think you might have to write this off unfortunately...

What an absolute scumbag...

I definitely would put in a formal complaint to the guards to have it on record.

I have a resonant story the details I won’t relate here, but simply to state you discover in time certain people transpire to be narcissists. They make you look a fool, but then comes the time of reckoning when they take a step too far. The stuff of stories and legends, but they very much exist in real life, your and my lives, and are unashamedly manipulative and not afraid of bleeding you dry if necessary.

kirving

While the Gardai can't be involved in civil matters like a debt repayment, it sounds to me like this Gard didn't want to get involved full stop, so fobbed you off.

Not a hope you'd be charged with trespass or harrasment IMO.

I'd be going back to the Garda station with a written account of everything to date, and ask them why the weren't interested in the criminal damage.

The good news is, that whether you get back what you're owed or not, he will continue his ways until he meets someone who sees him as a perfect target to exploit. They won't have a second thought about the Gards being involved when they want their money back.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118525442#Comment_118525442

The Gardai have their hands tied here. Yeah they could chase him over throwing the bike, but the OP was technically trespassing so who was really in the wrong blah blah.

They had no formal agreement in place for the money exchanged so all the other guy has to do is claim it was a gift & there’s nothing can be done.

im above in dublin Wednesday OP, if you give me half the cash I’ll go to his door myself for ye. Absolutely hate bullies.

edit: feel I should make it clear I’m not offering (seriously) to go to this randoms gaff for half the cash*

"Harassment law says constantly calling contacting without lawful authority or reasonable excuse, .the op seems to have a reasonable excuse."

I think because of the lack of evidence of it not being a gift... it's deemed a gift. (Who buys someone lampshades without it being a gift for example?) and therefore Jaime can now say, he got a gift and the relationship has turned sour and he's the victim of harassment. I think the gardai have to side with Jaime if the OP turns up at his house, work or parents' place... therefore the OP needs to let it go. It's a lesson learned for the OP and all of us... only give someone money with no expectation it will come back... unless a legally binding agreement is in place.

Actually, OP - was it just bad luck you were there when he needed to pay the builders or did he call you over specifically at that time?

road_high

Not one bit surprised with the violent reaction unfortunately. OP I know it’s been over and over but I just can’t get my head around you giving the loan/s in the first place. Please never do something as stupid ever again.

My only suggestion is there anything that isn’t tied down at his property to ahem, “borrow”. I know this is illegal but if wants to fight dirty and all that…

I would just try the parents at least- I wouldn’t care less if they’re soft or not, if it meant getting my money back. Their son is their problem

jamesd

Id go to his parents and explain all that has happened - might get your money back.

FishOnABike

No harm in letting his parents know he might be in some financial difficulty, possibly gambling again. It might push him to get the help he needs. It's what any friend would do 😏

I wouldn't be shy about advising mutual acquaintances against advancing him any money either. You wouldn't want him to sting any of your friends the way you've been stung.

mickdw

Considering all of the above, he certainly won't pay you. I dont think you are the type to escalate this to heavies so best leave it for now but I'd absolutely report this again to gardai with a full outline of events and state that you are now afraid of him and afraid to approach him again about the outstanding debt.

Also report the damage to your bike and again state that you are afraid to approach him about this.

road_high

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118523839#Comment_118523839

I don’t think he is a nut job. Certainly a narcissistic selfish opportunistic prick that knows a soft touch when he sees one. There are plenty like him out there if you let them.

mickdw

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118527821#Comment_118527821

Agree but the damage to the bike suggests slightly out if control. Don't know if this is a motor bike or bicycle.

StevenToast

Id love to hear about this prìck getting his comeuppence...

But thats not how reality works🤔

mickdw

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118528298#Comment_118528298

Well I figure the OP will at least get to witness this dickheads downfall somewhere along the line.

Galadriel

What an asshat, I would be furious too OP. I think the next step is to try to get the builder guys from Adverts.ie, they are witnesses to the fact he borrowed the money.

I don't know what you could do then, maybe send him a letter saying you have said witnesses and will be going to a solicitor?

TheW1zard

Do not do any criminal damage to his property to the value of 500euro. This might make you feel better but it will likely get you in trouble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118528458#Comment_118528458

He’d feel better til Jamie comes round his gaff and breaks his up. That would be fcuking stupid, someone obviously has a problem with me, me house has been broke up, wouldn’t be long thinking who did it.

Any and all credibility in this situation out the window and now OP looks like the thug.

Curious1002

Thanks to all for the support and advice.

I have just received a private message from a solicitor who read this thread and offered to help me write a legal letter. I am meeting with him on Friday. Thank you, DS. Lets see what this brings.

I will go to the Guards tomorrow after work and file an official complaint about the interaction, will add my audio recording as proof and pics of my scratched bicycle. Thats a good idea to file it even if the Guards wont act on it.

Someone asked if it was just bad luck that I was there when he needed to pay the builders or did he call me over specifically at that time. I was wondering about it too. I told him that the lamps came and that I can come over at the weekend but he said "what about tomorrow?" Its not very clear if it was a set up, but the timing is convenient and suspicious indeed.

Someone else wrote to check if i can borrow some things of his and retun it after getting paid... i also considered that but there is nothing to borrow there. Everything is very glassy there, lots of cameras in the nearby houses, construction site mess in the backyard, with nothing in the frontyard. The only thing i could borrow are trash bins.

3DataModem

Well, now you know. When some time passes you will consider yourself lucky it was only 500.

Now here's the rub; I'll bet you dollars to donuts that within two years he has texted you to borrow money again.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118528826#Comment_118528826

Narcissistic people are seriously manipulative. The one I know has/had a massive alcohol problem (insists on being sober now but who cares now except their family) and what started with buckets of my empathy on foot of a litany of sob stories turned into anger after I was recently approached to return all the money they had repaid me. I know others in their exact job who are earning €80k+ so it is really taking the piss. The spiel for running totally out of money was “I am left to pay a lot of my elderly parents’ bills.” I know full well there is a reasonable income there and family finances could easily be negotiated, but they instead approached me. So OP, I don’t think there are any coincidences when it comes to dealing with a small number of certain types of people.

It can be very hurtful, but a narcissist/sociopath doesn’t care about anybody but themselves. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with this matter.

backwards_man

Reading this thread has made me very angry. OP you are obviously quite young and have been scammed by a person who saw you as soft touch. I am guessing you are a quiet sort of individual and not one to be agressive or to fight back, so have become a target for this thug. Its a tough lesson but an important one and it only cost you €500 which may seem a lot now but on the scale of things, it is not, considering the lesson learnt. I hope you can put this behind you. This guy will get whats coming. He will scam the wrong person and end up in hospital or worse. Follow through with the complaint to the guards, have it on record, you may be the first person, and having it there might lend credance to the next person who complains about him. Block his number and get on with your life.

BattleCorp1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118523817#Comment_118523817

This sounds very made up. And for that reason I'm out.

Pistachio19

How much will a solicitor cost? You have zero proof that you lent him the money, so your ex friend can just say you gave it to him as a gift, or deny getting it from you at all. You could well be throwing good money after bad by paying solicitors fees for writing a letter which will most likely be ignored.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118541329#Comment_118541329

It’s a boards user who’s a solicitor, I assume they’re not charging and doing the OP a favour. They’ve expressed already no interest in paying for one, for exactly the reasons you say.

I am not advising you do this op but this is what i would do

I would stand outside his house with a placard saying what he did . I would not argue with him it he came out. If he abused me i would call the gardai.if the gardai told me leave i would do so and would speak to them calmly and explain . maybe they actually do their job.

The gardai may direct me to leave under public order act. I would go peacefully if they did.

If i was prosecuted i would tell the judge the story. I think it's the judge who would decide if it was a gift or not. Why would I go to all that trouble if it was a gift?

I would talk to him though if he wanted, in the road not go inside his gate. I would record the conversation and tell him i was doing so

IANAL but i do not see harassment in the above as I'd have reasonable cause or whatever the term is.i could be wrong.i have read of people doing it outside car dealers if ripped off 

That's what I'd do. Not legal advice or any kind of advice. Let us know how it goes with the solicitor

silver2020

Has any of the sucker posters read any of the previous threads started by the op?

Walter Mitty comes to mind.

Don't feed trolls

maebee

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118543300#Comment_118543300

I chanced upon this thread and being the type of person that I am, I never doubted the OP's story. As a courtesy to us "sucker posters", you might quote the OP's previous starter threads. TIA.

silver2020

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118543347#Comment_118543347

Not difficult to search, just click on his name.

Very very very unlucky sod or a troll

And he had tens of thousands in deposit accounts just over a year ago.