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Girls and OnlyFans

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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭KyussB


    Were you open-minded up enough as a 12-year-old to appreciate the extra holidays your mother earned by masturbating for strangers online? Open-minded enough to take the slagging and ignore those other backwards kids? Your morals here seem to be that people, even children, should just accept something as long as it's profitable enough.
    Many of the people on OF are literally driven into that work to provide for their kid/kids, as they have no choice after losing work during the pandemic.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    KyussB wrote: »
    Many of the people on OF are literally driven into that work to provide for their kid/kids, as they have no choice after losing work during the pandemic.

    And many many many more literally aren't.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 202 ✭✭Purple is a Fruit


    KyussB wrote: »
    Many of the people on OF are literally driven into that work to provide for their kid/kids, as they have no choice after losing work during the pandemic.
    And this is one of the problematic aspects in relation to sex work in general.


  • Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Ahh well, I find the people who are most open-minded about sex/relationships are the people with the least experience of it. It's mostly theory, and theory is easy to be unemotional about.

    They've never had an open relationship, so don't know the problems that crop up, except from what they've heard from other open-minded people. We all seek to experiment when we're young, but as we get older and more experienced, most people quickly realise that these old-fashioned boundaries are there for solid reasons. Or their opportunities to experiment are limited, so they retain their open-mindedness about things they haven't done themselves. Simple human nature, although the internet exasperates it considerably.

    There is a difference in being open minded and having an open relationship.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    There's a lot of blurring going on in this thread, where issues are being grouped together. Your girlfriend getting naked online is likely to be a very different issue than your girlfriend masturbating online, or even having sex with someone else online (with or without your knowledge).
    That's a fair point, but then where do you draw the line? Would you be ok with your girlfriend posting lingerie photos online? Or topless? Or videos of her farting for the more discerning weirdos?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭KyussB


    And this is one of the problematic aspects in relation to sex work in general.
    Where does the problem lay, if a person on OF is doing the work to pay for their kid/kids?

    The theme of the thread so far, is that the problem is with the person who has gone on to OF - not that circumstances have pressured them into that kind of work.

    Some even acknowledge a person being made victim by circumstances like this, to suit their argument - while condemning their actions at the same time - which is contradictory and victim blaming pretty much.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭KyussB


    Wibbs wrote: »
    That does seem to be a theme alright. The earnings, imaginary or no are to the fore in this debate. So long as the money is good, or good enough, play ball. It does somewhat remind me of this narrative:

    Would you sleep with me for ten million quid?

    Mmmmm, that's very tempting. Yes

    Would you sleep with me for ten quid?

    How dare you!! No! What do you think I am??!!

    Oh I think we've established what you are, we're just haggling over the price.

    It does seem one's moral position and attitudes to something can shift depending on the payout involved. I suspect the attitudes would be less comfortable if playing hide the French tickler to an audience of online onanists only paid a couple of hundred quid a month.
    I mean, if you replace the term 'sleep with', with any other kind of work - that applies to the whole labour market?

    People on OF generally don't sleep with others either. There are innumerable regular jobs which are 1: Less dignified, 2: Pay less for worse work, 3: Are a hell of a lot more morally/ethically questionable, and 4: Are way more damaging to peoples lives (including not just to the people doing the work).

    For some on OF, that work is actually a way to escape regular jobs, and have some control over their own working lives.

    People don't bat an eyelid at the way people are treated like shit in the economy and with regular jobs - it's just accepted as normal.
    Add **** to the equation though, and then even if the regular job market (or lack of) has forced people into this kind of work, people will suddenly care quite a lot - about blaming and shaming the person doing the work. Bizarre.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭KyussB


    When someone suggested that children could face ridicule over their parents doing such work, your response was "I didn't give two sh1ts what people said to me when I was a child" (as if it's only about you) and then you say people didn't give you much hassle as a child anyway? Flawless logic.
    Children can (and used to a lot more in the past) face ridicule for their parents being gay, too - that doesn't make being gay morally wrong.

    The problem obviously, is with social attitudes that would lead to that ridicule in the first place - which has changed a lot with gay couples, and is gradually changing with varieties of sex work now as well.


  • Posts: 17,381 [Deleted User]


    "circumstances have pressured them into that kind of work" / "victim blaming"

    These are not positive ways to describe the industry that most of us would rather the people we love not be in.


  • Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭Chacha97


    Just a thought. As the world begins to open back up and people are getting out more are these people on these platforms jeopardising their futures?
    I mean in terms of stuff like work, social etc. Like they were able to produce their content when we were locked up and had nothing to do but scroll on phones but as economy opens up think people are going to stop their subs to such platforms.
    Granted there will be ones still making money with big followings but I feel there will be a lot of people who regret the decision to set up as they are forced to interact socially with people(friends) who may want to distance themselves, intimate pictures are all over the Internet, won't be able for reputable work for brands and companies imo.


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    It's no wonder it's so prevalent when you see how the ideological battle was won years ago when you see people seeing no difference between it and working in an office..

    How much of our humanity has been lost..


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,696 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    bubblypop wrote: »
    I have already said, I wouldn't care of that's what they did for a living.
    If noone is getting hurt and it's not illegal, fine.


    Are you a lesbian. People keep asking if you'd be happy for your girlfriend to do OFs, but you're a girl.


  • Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Are you a lesbian. People keep asking if you'd be happy for your girlfriend to do OFs, but you're a girl.

    I'm not sure how that is anyone's business?


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,696 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    LillySV wrote: »
    I have more respect for full out prostitutes


    That's the thing with a lot of girls on OFs, they're young, still living at home, and making hardcore material in their parents house in their bedroom with their Barbies and My Little Ponies still on their shelf in the background.
    Then some of their material is leaked, and all hell breaks loose.


    If you are going to do OFs pay up for a full length page advertisement in a national newspaper and be ''full out, loud and proud''


    Doing it in secret never works out well.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭KyussB


    "circumstances have pressured them into that kind of work" / "victim blaming"

    These are not positive ways to describe the industry that most of us would rather the people we love not be in.
    That description applies to the labour market overall though, not this specific industry.

    A person forced by circumstances into e.g. a job bridge type workfare program, is being screwed over quite significantly - and look at the way dole recipients are talked about etc..

    This is part of why I advocate a Job Guarantee all the time - nobody would ever have to be forced by circumstances into these lines of work.


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,673 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    KyussB wrote: »
    I mean, if you replace the term 'sleep with', with any other kind of work - that applies to the whole labour market?

    People on OF generally don't sleep with others either. There are innumerable regular jobs which are 1: Less dignified, 2: Pay less for worse work, 3: Are a hell of a lot more morally/ethically questionable, and 4: Are way more damaging to peoples lives (including not just to the people doing the work).

    For some on OF, that work is actually a way to escape regular jobs, and have some control over their own working lives.

    People don't bat an eyelid at the way people are treated like shit in the economy and with regular jobs - it's just accepted as normal.
    Add **** to the equation though, and then even if the regular job market (or lack of) has forced people into this kind of work, people will suddenly care quite a lot - about blaming and shaming the person doing the work. Bizarre.


    Am I misrepresenting you now when it appears you actually are trying to equate prostitution with legitimate employment?

    Of course people do care that people are treated fairly in regular employment, it’s how employment legislation came to exist. They also care that people aren’t exploited, which is how laws regarding prostitution came to exist. It’s not simply a question of adding **** into the equation, it’s that you’re trying to engender sympathy for people who choose to prostitute themselves, and you wonder why people don’t care.

    The fact is that people do care, and it’s precisely because people do care that they wouldn’t want anyone they care about involved in prostitution.


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,696 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    If you're not willing to go on national tv like that Matty Boring Gilbert then OFs is not for you.

    The WHOLE point is to get your name out there, not to hide in the shadows.


  • Posts: 17,381 [Deleted User]


    bubblypop wrote: »
    I'm not sure how that is anyone's business?

    Sure we're just strangers online. Surely you can share your sexuality with us.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    KyussB wrote: »
    That description applies to the labour market overall though, not this specific industry.

    A person forced by circumstances into e.g. a job bridge type workfare program, is being screwed over quite significantly - and look at the way dole recipients are talked about etc..

    This is part of why I advocate a Job Guarantee all the time - nobody would ever have to be forced by circumstances into these lines of work.

    A person forced by circumstances into a job... I agree job bridge was shocking, but do you mean people who need to pay for stuff?

    Dole recipients are normally talked about ok unless it's the career dole recipient who doesn't want to work.


  • Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Sure we're just strangers online. Surely you can share your sexuality with us.

    I can. But it has no relevance to the discussion and I'm not sure why now, two posters have asked me.


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  • Posts: 17,381 [Deleted User]


    bubblypop wrote: »
    I can. But it has no relevance to the discussion and I'm not sure why now, two posters have asked me.

    Will you tell us for $15 a month?


  • Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Will you tell us for $15 a month?

    I have a job where I am happy with my salary, I have no interest in side hussles, thanks though ;)


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    bubblypop wrote: »
    There is a difference in being open minded and having an open relationship.

    Trust you to take such a thing from my post. :D

    The reference to an open relationship was made because it represents most of the perspectives here supporting OnlyFans or similar. That you're fine with them having sex with others, or wouldn't judge your partner for doing things online.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    That's a fair point, but then where do you draw the line? Would you be ok with your girlfriend posting lingerie photos online? Or topless? Or videos of her farting for the more discerning weirdos?

    Personally, I wouldn't have issues with lingerie/nude photos because it's simply a showing of the body. Whereas a video with associated actions would be wrong from my partner.. because those who do videos are required to do more each time to keep the attention of others, so she might start by posing, and then, later be encouraged towards masturbating, and once that's reached, go on to something more, just to keep the attention of her viewers.

    People doing videos or camgirls have to meet the needs of their audience too much. Those simply doing photos, have a more of a take it or leave it attitude. It's the difference between a once off sale versus the demands required to keep a constant service running. But, no, I wouldn't want my partner to be doing any kind of porn. (And no, I don't watch porn myself.)


  • Posts: 18,749 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Trust you to take such a thing from my post. :D

    The reference to an open relationship was made because it represents most of the perspectives here supporting OnlyFans or similar. That you're fine with them having sex with others, or wouldn't judge your partner for doing things online.

    Oh I wouldn't be fine with my other half having sex with others.
    Now if they had an onlyfans account, I would view that as a job, nothing to bother me.
    You said yourself you had girlfriends that worked as strippers, did that bother you?


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    bubblypop wrote: »
    Oh I wouldn't be fine with my other half having sex with others.
    Now if they had an onlyfans account, I would view that as a job, nothing to bother me.
    You said yourself you had girlfriends that worked as strippers, did that bother you?

    It didn't bother me that they were dancing/lapdancing for other men, because I knew that the rules (concerning the audience) were enforced..

    Now, that I'm older, I'd probably have more issue with having a partner who was a stripper. It hasn't arisen, because I know the associated problems firsthand, in terms of personality, and the issues with prostitution.


  • Registered Users Posts: 965 ✭✭✭SnuggyBear


    KyussB wrote: »
    Children can (and used to a lot more in the past) face ridicule for their parents being gay, too - that doesn't make being gay morally wrong.

    The problem obviously, is with social attitudes that would lead to that ridicule in the first place - which has changed a lot with gay couples, and is gradually changing with varieties of sex work now as well.

    Children will use any ammo they can, they are vicious.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,040 ✭✭✭Mister Vain


    Personally, I wouldn't have issues with lingerie/nude photos because it's simply a showing of the body. Whereas a video with associated actions would be wrong from my partner.. because those who do videos are required to do more each time to keep the attention of others, so she might start by posing, and then, later be encouraged towards masturbating, and once that's reached, go on to something more, just to keep the attention of her viewers.

    People doing videos or camgirls have to meet the needs of their audience too much. Those simply doing photos, have a more of a take it or leave it attitude. It's the difference between a once off sale versus the demands required to keep a constant service running. But, no, I wouldn't want my partner to be doing any kind of porn. (And no, I don't watch porn myself.)
    Actually when you put it like that, I can see where you're coming from. I wouldn't say the explicit videos are wrong as such, but I'd probably be a bit more wary than if it was just nude photos she was posting.

    In saying that, most of the girls I know who are on Onlyfans are just posting photos and non-explicit videos, or at least to the best of my knowledge anyway. Pre-covid I met a fair few models in the various photography group shoots around the country, and since the pandemic started, a lot of them have started using Onlyfans, which they promote on their Instagram. The girls with the large followings seem to be doing well.

    Another thing that became popular during the pandemic is models doing remote shoots from their homes, where they set up a camera and the photographer is able to operate the controls via an app.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Actually when you put it like that, I can see where you're coming from. I wouldn't say the explicit videos are wrong as such, but I'd probably be a bit more wary than if it was just nude photos she was posting.

    In saying that, most of the girls I know who are on Onlyfans are just posting photos and non-explicit videos, or at least to the best of my knowledge anyway. Pre-covid I met a fair few models in the various photography group shoots around the country, and since the pandemic started, a lot of them have started using Onlyfans, which they promote on their Instagram. The girls with the large followings seem to be doing well.

    Another thing that became popular during the pandemic is models doing remote shoots from their homes, where they set up a camera and the photographer is able to operate the controls via an app.

    I don't know anyone on Onlyfans, but I know a few women who used to use the MyCams site, which is similar. They were all into very sexual content, which is what the site is aimed at. OnlyFans seems to be moving away from sexual content though. From what I've read, sites such as these start with sex workers, and NSFW content in order to build a following, and then, slowly weed them out as they attract more moderate content creators. However, this is the internet, and society is moving towards a relaxation of rules/taboos, so I wouldn't be too surprised if Onlyfans kept it's sexual content, but reinforced it's rules against using the platform for advertising of escorting.

    In any case, I have no issue with people doing normal online content.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,639 ✭✭✭completedit


    It's so sad that this is becoming normalised.


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