Ruining a wedding

cbreeze

I was at a friend's wedding on a cold slushy day in January (pre-Covid). She had a lovely wedding dress with a long train. Unfortunately, my shoes were muddy from outside and I walked on the train. Thankfully, she did not notice that mine were the muddy prints on the dress.

Goldengirl

Mister Vain wrote: »

A bit like the episode of Only Fools And Horses where Del and Rodney went to the wrong funeral.

I did that !
Ended up at one funeral home, same name, wrong side of the city .
Turned out the chief mourner was somebody who worked in the same hospital as me and he was so impressed that I came tihis granny's funeral .
I sympathised and legged it as fast as could to the correct funeral .
When I told my friends what happened they all got a very inappropriate fit of laughing ..it was not my finest hour.

This is a great thread btw

Motivator

I was a plus one at a very country, very boring and very cheap wedding a few years ago. I didn’t know anyone at it apart from my girlfriend but lots of people were there that she worked with. Nobody was really drinking and as I was warned to be on my very best behaviour as she didn’t want me to make a scene. The girlfriend was up and down chatting to work colleagues and left me sitting there, I noticed a bit of tension between a couple of people at my table and once I noticed it it was all I could focus on. There were two women and and a man in their 50s, it turns out the women were sisters and were the brides aunts and the man was a husband of one of them. All night there was very little being said and all of a sudden it kicked off after the meal.

It turns out one of the sisters was from up the country and travelled down to stay with her sister and the husband the night before. They had a few drinks and the married sister went to bed early. Yes you guessed it, the husband ended up shagging there sister downstairs as the wife slept but obviously she copped something happened. It all kicked off after the meal, the husband and wife went at it at the bar and it spilled back to the table and the sister then got involved. At this stage the commotion got that bad that the band stopped and the top table were dispatched to the middle in the middle of the floor to make the peace. I was say at the table when things really kicked off and everyone’s attention was now drawn to my table so I couldn’t get up and leave, nor could I sit their staring. It was very awkward but unbelievably entertaining.

The took it outside to another room beside the function room and the band started up again but I made some great friends that night as people were getting the story from me. It didn’t end well though and I think there was a big split in the family after it all. It was a terrible wedding but very entertaining post meal.

Samuri Suicide

I was at a wedding in Edinburgh. The best man was the grooms brother, bit of a headcase who is in the Royal navy. He was in an absolute state for the speech, hammered and on god knows what. The groom and best man had a fostered sister (Rachel) which the best man dated in his late teens, caused a massive family rift at the time. His opening line of the speech was "thanks everyone for coming especially Rachel, the best ride of my life" She was sitting there with her husband and two kids.
He was instantly hooked and removed outside.
Possibly the shortest and greatest speech I have ever heard.

Louis Friend

Louis Friend wrote: »

In my experience, alpha males don’t go around telling people that they’re alpha males...

Someone who feels the need to claim that they’re an alpha male is actually a flaccid cuck.

Joined a company and the CEO and I went for a get to know you meeting. It was going well until he described the difficulties of being one and having to work with another Alpha male (another CEO).


I lost respect for him immediately.

the beer revolu

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

Was that a Limerick wedding, involving a couple of lads from 1 GAA club, by any chance

No. It was in Cork early 90s,I'd say.

corner of hells

Motivator wrote: »

I was a plus one at a very country, very boring and very cheap wedding a few years ago. I didn’t know anyone at it apart from my girlfriend but lots of people were there that she worked with. Nobody was really drinking and as I was warned to be on my very best behaviour as she didn’t want me to make a scene. The girlfriend was up and down chatting to work colleagues and left me sitting there, I noticed a bit of tension between a couple of people at my table and once I noticed it it was all I could focus on. There were two women and and a man in their 50s, it turns out the women were sisters and were the brides aunts and the man was a husband of one of them. All night there was very little being said and all of a sudden it kicked off after the meal.

It turns out one of the sisters was from up the country and travelled down to stay with her sister and the husband the night before. They had a few drinks and the married sister went to bed early. Yes you guessed it, the husband ended up shagging there sister downstairs as the wife slept but obviously she copped something happened. It all kicked off after the meal, the husband and wife went at it at the bar and it spilled back to the table and the sister then got involved. At this stage the commotion got that bad that the band stopped and the top table were dispatched to the middle in the middle of the floor to make the peace. I was say at the table when things really kicked off and everyone’s attention was now drawn to my table so I couldn’t get up and leave, nor could I sit their staring. It was very awkward but unbelievably entertaining.

The took it outside to another room beside the function room and the band started up again but I made some great friends that night as people were getting the story from me. It didn’t end well though and I think there was a big split in the family after it all. It was a terrible wedding but very entertaining post meal.

I always do well when im warned to be on my best behaviour.

Anyway , i was at a wedding years ago in Kerry when father of the bride stood up to give his speech.
He started off welcoming his new son in law into the family , complimented and thanked everyone for coming, the usual stuff.

Then he went off on one ,turning his speech his speech into a hilarious monologue saying he was delighted for his daughter to have married into such a prestigious South Kerry GAA family, he spoke about various members of his daughters new family turning out for Kerry , scoring vital points and the injustice of referees and selectors.
He stated that in his family there hasn't been a man that could kick a mangey cur up the hole in over 40 years ,pointing out his own flamboyant son who arrived home from London with his partner Bernard saying he knew what type of balls he was into.At this stage the crowd were in uproar pissing themselves laughing.
He wasn't finished , his other daughter had flown home Texas with her Mexican American husband , there was no hope of them producing a footballer according to him.
His last sentence, delivered with tears in his eyes , used Martin Luther Kings quote, "I have a dream " that a grandson of mine will turn out in Croke Park one day.

The J Stands for Jay

cj maxx wrote: »

I did that myself. It was a far better wedding than the right one !

Many years ago the work Xmas party was on in the Guinness Storehouse, with other company parties happening on different floors. One of the older lads went out for some reason and went back to the wrong floor. Took him an hour to realise.

Homelander

Not ruined but I was at a wedding where a guest got absolutely disasterously smashed early and had to be ordered to bed shortly after dinner after repeatedly disrupting dinner, speeches, etc. He was shouting and roaring like the place was a nightclub, talking complete nonsense to strangers, crudely hitting on women, doing shots at the bar, wrapping his tie around his head, knocking over drinks and all that. Still bright outside, most other people on their second pint.

Normal guy with wife and kids. Cannot understand how he got in that state.Shortly before he was led away like a bold child the entire room was awkwardly staring at him trying to wrestle the mic from a speaker so he could sing a song, he could barely string a sentence together. It was absolutely mortifying, it was all anyone talked about anytime the wedding was mentioned for years.

JustAThought

!!!!

I had TOTALLY forgotten about the wedding randomers with their ties wrapped around their heads like Arnie warriors!! Usually while pissed at the bar with their chin on a pint!!! LOL!

Love this thread!

KevRossi

freshpopcorn wrote: »

That's not him.
I knew a priest and he could go missing, fall asleep at any event or sleep in and the family/alter servers would have to go to his house to wake the priest up for a wedding, funeral, etc.

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I don’t know he was a nice man but he probably had some issues and could have being a bit lazy as well. You could meet hit at 12 at night at Tesco buying ice cream.

Am I the only one who's thinking we're dealing with a stoner here?

Graces7

Cilldara_2000 wrote: »

Obviously there's different strokes for different folks, but IMO, having had more than my fair share of loss, having loads of people sympathising and a big funeral or wake or both is helpful.

Having said that, there's no excuse for these gob****es ignoring the sign on the door etc in this case.

Because of illness and distance, when I have been unable to attend a funeral I have waited a while then written a sincere sympathy letter at a time when things will be harder.

Never a wake in my family life but as both my brother and my mother died violent sudden deaths yes it helped greatly to have so many there; and what was even more , it helped them to cope with the loss.

HildaOgdenx

Someone mentioned going to the wrong hotel, in Connemara.

I remember that happening to a colleague but they made it on time to the right hotel. I think there used to be two hotels in Connemara with similar names, or something.
In the case I'm talking about, there was only a wedding at one that day, so no story really

Great thread, btw.

Sunny Disposition

Drink an awful curse sometimes and a huge factor in most ruined weddings.

Toots

My sister-in-law's wedding to her now- ex husband would probably fit on here. The husband was the absolute stingeiest fecker you could meet and I'd say the idea of paying for dinner for 100 people caused him physical pain. I reckon the only reason he agreed to a wedding at all was the prospect of recouping the costs in cash gifts.

Anyhow, he said he'd arrange the DJ (my SIL had arranged everything else) and he had a friend who was actually a proper decent wedding DJ so it was assumed that was who he was asking. On the day itself some other guy showed up with just a laptop and one speaker - no lights or other rig-out you'd typically see from a wedding DJ.

Couple do their first dance, and then the floor fills up and things are going well but after about 4 or 5 songs he announces he's taking a short break. So he sticks on "The Men Behind the Wire" and fecks off, prompting a mass exodus from the dance floor. My husband and I figured he'd probably gone to the loo or something so we figured we'd get a drink and then head back to dancing in a few mins. Turns out this guy had obviously stuck on some sort of "Top 20 Rebel Songs" play list and what we thought was a bathroom break was actually him going to the bar to get a few pints in while leaving The Wolfe Tones and friends to keep the guests "entertained".

He literally left the play list go for close to an hour while he sat at the bar chatting to the groom and drinking. The craic was just gone out of the place and so were quite a lot of the guests - one entire table got up and left in the middle of "Kevin Barry". By the time the "DJ" returned there were probably about 40 people left and nobody got back up to dance.

We found out afterwards that the groom HAD approached his DJ friend about doing the wedding and he offered to do it for mates rate of €250 - half his normal fee - but groom said it was too expensive and said no. He then went and found this guy in his local and paid him €100 to DJ for the night. The guy had never DJ'd so much as a 21st before and his previous experience was just him providing background music for a load of auld codgers in a dingy local.

HildaOgdenx

Was this him?

Toots

HildaOgdenx wrote: »

Was this him?

That would probably have been an improvement TBH :pac:

malinheader

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

Drink an awful curse sometimes and a huge factor in most ruined weddings.

I have noticed in the last few years hotels trying to hold off the meal as late as possible. Hard to get enough in you when you're stomach is full. People probably leaving the house in the morning and drinking till 6 or 7 in the evening without eating is a recipe for disaster.
Makes for a brilliant thread though. Loving it.

Cushtie

Arrrhhhhggg! Had a big long post typed and lost it. Short version. Got absolutely hammered at a mates wedding and had to be carried home at about 10pm. Have no memory after sitting down for the dinner. Next day at the pub everyone telling me that I caused a big fight, wrecked the wedding, caused it to end early. No recollection whatsoever.

Turns out I just passed out, and my mates made up the story to scare the ****e out of me. I would rarely be that badly drunk, but it was a long week drinking leading up to the wedding. They even had the bride in on the prank. Came up to me following day saying how I should be ashamed of myself etc. Ruined her big day. Had one of the other guests accuse me of trying it on with his wife etc. ****ers kept it going for a couple of hours before they put me out of misery.

Funny thing is how it could have been true, I was that far gone, anything could have happened.

HalloweenJack

I was at a Spanish wedding a few years back, one of my wife's friends from college.

It was a humble affair in a function room at a bar on the motorway where truckers stop off, no hotels or anything like that. It was great craic, in fairness.

The fun started with the parish priest sarcastically congratulating the guests for making it to the church when they normally couldn't seem to find it.

The couple had a three-month-old so the bride hadn't touched any alcohol for a year. She proceeded to get blackout drunk, lost her phone and the keys to her house (where me and my wife were staying) and had a blazing row with the groom to the point they couldn't look at each other. Her cousin had to wake their 90-year-old gran at six in the morning to find a place for us all. In the taxi on the way, the bride threw up all over the back seat and passed out. They called an ambulance only for the driver to say she just needed to sleep it off and pat the groom on the back, saying 'Won't be happening for you tonight'.

lab man

I was at a friends wedding a few yrs ago down in cork the brides family very quiet and humble lovely people there was 2 lads from grooms side of the wedding drinking with a fella I know that drinks brandy with a bottle of bud all day together hed drink like a suck calf the 2 lads thought they'd bury yer man anyway but by 7 or 8 he was drinking no bother an the two lads were loaded and took out their tools in the middle of the dance floor jaysus twas cat their parents hardly spoke to them for 3 mts after twas a great wedding in fairness

EmmetSpiceland

lab man wrote: »

...the two lads were loaded and took out their tools in the middle of the dance floor jaysus twas cat

The “elephant dance” or just doing it for show?

KevRossi

lab man wrote: »

I was at a friends wedding a few yrs ago down in cork the brides family very quiet and humble lovely people there was 2 lads from grooms side of the wedding drinking with a fella I know that drinks brandy with a bottle of bud all day together hed drink like a suck calf the 2 lads thought they'd bury yer man anyway but by 7 or 8 he was drinking no bother an the two lads were loaded and took out their tools in the middle of the dance floor jaysus twas cat their parents hardly spoke to them for 3 mts after twas a great wedding in fairness

Maybe they wanted to put them in Mrs Doyle's box.

MyLove4Satan

I traveled back from the USA in the late 80s for my bother's wedding. My brother was getting married at the Roadstone Club somewhere near Rathcoole. Anyway we all were put into a white Dublin Bus double decker and made our way though all the worst parts of Tallaght. People have no idea what a ****hole it was back then. The bus went through Traveller camps and litter all over the place with millions of plastic bags caught on hedgerows. It really looked like a Third World country. Pissing rain and miserable too. Kids throwing stones at the bus.

Anyway got to the reception and there are the men of the wedding party dressed in grey suits and top hats trying to look fancy. We sit down for the meal and it was - I **** you not - ham salad on paper plates with plastic knives and forks. Then a couple of hours of drinking and at one point some wagon on the dancefloor with a buggy (and a baby in it) and they all singing some Man United song. Right there and then I more or less disowned my family, my community and vowed never to go to another wedding. I also gave my brother a wedding present of 500 pounds which was huge money in the 1980s and he didn't even say thanks.

It was one of them, 'DNA is not the full story' experiences.

Necro

Mod:

Can we not drag this excellent thread off topic discussing or criticizing other people's posts? I've removed some posts doing this. Thanks.

I was at the afters of a wedding 15 years ago where two of the bridesmaids were knocking lumps out of each other over a man. The stud in question was sleep facedown on a table until one of the bridesmaids kicked him off his chair into the floor. I didnt know the bride & groom as I was a plus one, but it sure was entertaining

cena

Necro wrote: »

Mod:

Can we not drag this excellent thread off topic discussing or criticizing other people's posts? I've removed some posts doing this. Thanks.

Thanks

Mister Vain

Deleted User wrote: »

I was at the afters of a wedding 15 years ago where two of the bridesmaids were knocking lumps out of each other over a man. The stud in question was sleep facedown on a table until one of the bridesmaids kicked him off his chair into the floor. I didnt know the bride & groom as I was a plus one, but it sure was entertaining

Sounds like a WWE script. :pac:

ontour2

from behind the bar...

Bride and groom were in the residents bar at about 2am with about 6 other people. We checked with the guests if they wanted any more drink and they were fine so staff went to the kitchen to make some sandwiches before we had to go back to the function room to set up the furniture for a huge wedding the next day.

When we came out, all the guests were gone and all was quiet so we cleaned up the bar, locked up and headed off to the function room. What we had not realised was that the bride and groom and stepped out to get something out of a car and were chatting down the street. Usually this would be fine as they would hit the intercom and we would be notified of someone at the door. On this night the intercom decided to stop working and no one was picking up the phone. Oh, did I mention it was a winter wedding and bloody cold.

After trying to get in for a while the bride and groom gave up and the honeymoon suite for the night was downgraded to the back of the Opel Corsa.

Four hours later they got back in when the chef arrived for breakfast. While they claim the wedding was ruined, they managed to exchange the 4 hours in the back of the Opel Corsa for the entire hotel bill and a good story. So I think they got a great deal.

Andrea B.

https://youtu.be/1KPlFuN0nYk