Height requirements in dating

lukin

Wibbs wrote: »

The main takeaway I'd have would be; yeah tall helps, as do looks, but overall basic sociability and emotional stability is the thing. Engaging with every person you meet, putting others at ease in your company, being easy going and more ready to crack a smile than a frown.

You are actually completely wrong there; for a lot of women having a good personality simply will not compensate for a lack of height. They take one look at you and see you are below the minimum requirement and they have already made up their mind. They are not even going to give you a chance. It's not a case of them thinking "Well he's a bit on the short side but I will listen to him and if he's good craic I might consider a relationship with him".
It's simply non-negotiable.

Antares35

Alejandro68 wrote: »

I have never used online dating sites, it seems shallow and brutal in the selection. If you are refused by how tall you are then they are not worth your time. You set the standard and don't allow those shallow bitches do it for you. And don't be so desperate about it.Why is there a time limit? Just in my bitchy opinion.

Aw. I met my fiancé online. Only filter that was really important to me at the time was that he didn't have kids or an ex wife, because I was just out of a relationship from hell with someone who had. Fiancé is just over six feet. Ex was around 5 4, a good few inches shorter than me. So, it doesn't matter to all of us what height someone is.

There's no point lying on your profile about your physical traits - they'll find out soon enough you were blagging when they meet you in the flesh!

I never really understood why people are so dismissive of online dating. Women in particular tend to get on their high horse about it, oh I'd be afraid I'd meet an internet weirdo etc. It's ok to fall home with whatever yoke you meet gée-eyed in the local nightclub at 4 in the morning though

Thelonious Monk

Gruffalux wrote: »

I actually don't know how people use a site like Tinder. I would be mortified if the neighbours saw me looking for a ride

Do people think Tinder is some sex hook up app? It's just mostly normal people looking to go on dates.

Antares35

Gruffalux wrote: »

I actually don't know how people use a site like Tinder. I would be mortified if the neighbours saw me looking for a ride

Tinder isn't a dating website really though, it's a hookup one. There's lots of dating sites where people aren't looking for the leg over in the next twelve hours

Antares35

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Do people think Tinder is some sex hook up app? It's just mostly normal people looking to go on dates.

Really? God I always thought it was!

Church on Tuesday

Hyperbollix wrote: »

Zip it, Sugartits

Alejandro68

Antares35 wrote: »

Aw. I met my fiancé online. Only filter that was really important to me at the time was that he didn't have kids or an ex wife, because I was just out of a relationship from hell with someone who had. Fiancé is just over six feet. Ex was around 5 4, a good few inches shorter than me. So, it doesn't matter to all of us what height someone is.

There's no point lying on your profile about your physical traits - they'll find out soon enough you were blagging when they meet you in the flesh!

I never really understood why people are so dismissive of online dating. Women in particular tend to get on their high horse about it, oh I'd be afraid I'd meet an internet weirdo etc. It's ok to fall home with whatever yoke you meet gée-eyed in the local nightclub at 4 in the morning though

But there is so much you can convey on a online profile. And things you cannot like sense of humor, style, even scent. Instead it is about physical traits and more. Maybe I read too much into it because I prefer face to face interaction. Where all those traits are displayed. But judging a future mate based on height alone is just very shallow and immature IMO.

Thelonious Monk

Antares35 wrote: »

Really? God I always thought it was!

No, not at all. I know loads of people who've met their partners on it.
The only app you'd prob be guaranteed to meet people for sex is Grinder.

Church on Tuesday

Wibbs wrote: »

Do such people have any self awareness at all, or do they feel that they're such a catch that basically saying I'm a moody opinionated wagon who will be a complete headmelt is no barrier to attracting someone?

Now men can be **** too of course, but there seems to be a cohort of women out there who think this is good advertising. We all know the types those who quote Marilyn Monroe's I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. WTF like?

That said there also exists a cohort of men who seem to be attracted to this type. Lord alone knows why.

I know. The way I look at it is, you are helpfully signaling how much of a mentaller you are now, so it saves the potential hassle and inevitable drama down the road. I honestly automatically swipe left on tinder or whatever when I see that.

Lads fall for the trap though, just because a women is a knock out looks wise doesn't always equate to being a sound person in general but loads ignore this in any event and it's the same the other way 'round too.

Antares35

Alejandro68 wrote: »

But there is so much you can convey on a online profile. And things you cannot like sense of humor, style, even scent. Instead it is about physical traits and more. Maybe I read too much into it because I prefer face to face interaction. Where all those traits are displayed. But judging a future mate based on height alone is just very shallow and immature IMO.

Yes, which is why once we met up online, we then began actual proper dating. Like it or not, subconsciously everyone is viewing prospective partners in part on the basis of their physical traits and that is as old as evolution itself, and happens whether the setting is a local pub, online, a book club etc.

But whereas looks might be enough to attract someone to a person initially, they will pretty soon lose their appeal if they're an ásshole or a psycho.

completedit

lukin wrote: »

You are actually completely wrong there; for a lot of women having a good personality simply will not compensate for a lack of height. They take one look at you and see you are below the minimum requirement and they have already made up their mind. They are not even going to give you a chance. It's not a case of them thinking "Well he's a bit on the short side but I will listen to him and if he's good craic I might consider a relationship with him".
It's simply non-negotiable.

It's worse than that. It's actually quite unsettling when I think about it so prefer not to but they essentially just filter you out. They don't even know why; they just don't have any sexual attraction to short men. And btw, it's not a case of a short man being 5'4'', they compare you to other guys, not to themselves. Being tall is a personality trait in and of itself; looks are too variable and open to subjective opinion but height isn't. A guy can be ugly but tall. Another guy could be handsome and shorter, but there is no definitive rule on what makes someone handsome. The problem is that's just life; the same way I am attracted to what I'm attracted to, women have their own views on what makes a guy attractive. I'm not being fair to a women when I like her; I like her because of her looks and personality, you can't get one without the other, similarly, I wouldn't even want a women to 'give me a chance'

Gruffalux

Thelonious Monk wrote: »

Do people think Tinder is some sex hook up app? It's just mostly normal people looking to go on dates.

Yes I imagined it was.

Cue visions of Mrs McHugh down the road saying to one of the lads Ahhh John Joe, Mrs G up the hill is on here saying she would like a tall fella... will ya go on up there like a good man and help her out..
Nope. Bring back GSOH, PO Box and "Discretion assured".

Feisar

Online dating is just another string to the bow. It’s working for you 24/7, why not utilise it? Plus with tinder anyway it’s only giving matches with people you liked so that’s a start.

Gruffalux

Gruffalux wrote: »

Yes I imagined it was.

Cue visions of Mrs McHugh down the road saying to one of the lads Ahhh John Joe, Mrs G up the hill is on here saying she would like a tall fella... will ya go on up there like a good man and help her out..
Nope. Bring back GSOH, PO Box and "Discretion assured".

I love reading the personals in my mams Irelands Own magazines. There's usually a fella in his 70s looking for a woman between the ages of 20 and 25. Or a woman looking for a man with his own home, own car, own big ol bank balance. Last week when visiting my mam I took a picture of this one...



Not only is he 6ft but he has four showers! FOUR!!! What a catch!

Zirconia

Zip it, Sugartits:

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

CTKm7pYYE-4

Richard Hillman

If your stats and your life situation match up then online dating is a good place to hit. If you don't have the Stats and life but fancy your personality then out in the wild is for you.

If you have neither then there is a ton of porn out there. There isn't one person for everybody.

Alejandro68

Antares35 wrote: »

Yes, which is why once we met up online, we then began actual proper dating. Like it or not, subconsciously everyone is viewing prospective partners in part on the basis of their physical traits and that is as old as evolution itself, and happens whether the setting is a local pub, online, a book club etc.

But whereas looks might be enough to attract someone to a person initially, they will pretty soon lose their appeal if they're an ásshole or a psycho.

I would disagree. I am always wary of what makes them the person they are emotionally and mentally. I could care less of their height. I always give everyone a chance to impress me mentally. To go by height or physical attributes alone is just demeaning and shallow. There is more to them than that.IMO

QuestionTime18

completedit wrote: »

It's worse than that. It's actually quite unsettling when I think about it so prefer not to but they essentially just filter you out. They don't even know why; they just don't have any sexual attraction to short men. And btw, it's not a case of a short man being 5'4'', they compare you to other guys, not to themselves. Being tall is a personality trait in and of itself; looks are too variable and open to subjective opinion but height isn't. A guy can be ugly but tall. Another guy could be handsome and shorter, but there is no definitive rule on what makes someone handsome. The problem is that's just life; the same way I am attracted to what I'm attracted to, women have their own views on what makes a guy attractive. I'm not being fair to a women when I like her; I like her because of her looks and personality, you can't get one without the other, similarly, I wouldn't even want a women to 'give me a chance'

So true, especially on bumble with its height filter. Also true that they don’t care about personality, they don’t want to know a guy most of the time unless he’s tall.

Feisar

QuestionTime18 wrote: »

So true, especially on bumble with its height filter. Also true that they don’t care about personality, they don’t want to know a guy most of the time unless he’s tall.

Height filter, a great idea, just wish there was a tits filter.

Feisar

Feisar wrote: »

Height filter, a great idea, just wish there was a tits filter.

I thought there was?
Tits: yes/no

Antares35

Alejandro68 wrote: »

I would disagree. I am always wary of what makes them the person they are emotionally and mentally. I could care less of their height. I always give everyone a chance to impress me mentally. To go by height or physical attributes alone is just demeaning and shallow. There is more to them than that.IMO

You are free to disagree that's it's a good or bad thing to do, you're not free to disagree that it's a fact that most people do go by looks to some extent, at least initially.

For the avoidance of doubt, I never said that height was a deal breaker for me, not did I imply that it, as a sole feature, should be any kind of determining factor.

fin12

Anyone get very bad anxiety between dates especially when u really like the other person and waiting to meet them again. Over analysing and thinking negatively. I wish there was coping skills available.

Richard Hillman

Not that I use dating apps anymore but I wouldn't mind a height filter. I wouldn't go out with a girl that is towering over me. Same height maybe but nothing higher. And I'm only 5'6 :pac:

Feisar

MikeOxsgreen wrote: »

I thought there was?
Tits: yes/no

More on the lines of:

A B C D E F G H I J K

ohnonotgmail

that video was posted earlier.

lavinia hathaway

Some men also rule women out for being a certain height. I am 5" 10 and the last message I got simply said "Too tall". That's not the only time it's been said to me either. While I still wouldn't rule anyone out based on height, it certainly becomes wearisome when my physical attributes are viewed as a negative from the beginning. I most definitely don't want to deal with an inferiority complex either. Life is hard enough:)

fin12

Anyone consider or have gone to a dating coach, I see there’s a woman called Francis Kelleher in Kerry who’s one. I’m thinking I might go if I have no luck by the end of this year.

Feisar

lavinia hathaway wrote: »

Some men also rule women out for being a certain height. I am 5" 10 and the last message I got simply said "Too tall". That's not the only time it's been said to me either. While I still wouldn't rule anyone out based on height, it certainly becomes wearisome when my physical attributes are viewed as a negative from the beginning. I most definitely don't want to deal with an inferiority complex either. Life is hard enough:)

What sort of a tool puts someone down like that just for the sake of it. And who wouldn’t want a leggy 5’10” woman?

Feisar

fin12 wrote: »

Anyone consider or have gone to a dating coach, I see there’s a woman called Francis Kelleher in Kerry who’s one. I’m thinking I might go if I have no luck by the end of this year.

I was all for it but my wife put a stop to it.

fin12

fin12 wrote: »

Anyone consider or have gone to a dating coach, I see there’s a woman called Francis Kelleher in Kerry who’s one. I’m thinking I might go if I have no luck by the end of this year.

I kinda adopted that mantel for a friend awhile back. I wrote about it on here I think. It went seriously well but man was I stressed out and totally invested. I think if I did it as a career I would break down before the first year ended.