How is a man supposed to find a woman in the 21st century

chuchuchu

On Tinder the top 80 percent of women are only interested in the top 20 percent of men. Tinder is good advice for a woman, but if your an average looking dude, forget about it!

suicide_circus

chuchuchu wrote: »

On Tinder the top 80 percent of women are only interested in the top 20 percent of men. Tinder is good advice for a woman, but if your an average looking dude, forget about it!

yeah its true, men seem to be much more forgiving in the physical sense where as this tinder information suggests that woman are only actively attracted to the better looking men. i suppose it makes sense in evolutionary terms, you dont dont need many men to populate your tribe but you do need lots of women - the health and future prospects of your tribe can be measured by the amount of healthy young women in it. men are evolutionarily disposable in a way that women arent.

scamalert

chuchuchu wrote: »

On Tinder the top 80 percent of women are only interested in the top 20 percent of men. Tinder is good advice for a woman, but if your an average looking dude, forget about it!

workaround to that, is to go abroad, open tinder float looking for some fun for a day, pocket will be only issue

Nobelium

suicide_circus wrote: »

yeah its true, men seem to be much more forgiving in the physical sense where as this tinder information suggests that woman are only actively attracted to the better looking men. i suppose it makes sense in evolutionary terms, you dont dont need many men to populate your tribe but you do need lots of women - the health and future prospects of your tribe can be measured by the amount of healthy young women in it. men are evolutionarily disposable in a way that women arent.

you really need to give "social" media a break . . .

suicide_circus

Nobelium wrote: »

you really need to give "social" media a break . . .

why? i dont do social media other than this site. what did i say that was incorrect? i'm happily taken by the way so this stuff dosnt worry me

i find that ppl with strong opinions on what percentage of women or men want as regards the opposite sex, or how evolution has made an entire gender a certain way, might be worth paying a little less attention to.

theres a dozen things a fella could do today to get his chances rising, none of them involve pessimism or generalisations about half the planet. all of them involve himself.

riclad

Theres other dating websites apart from tinder,
there are women out there that are looking for a man who is smart,kind,
likes music, or books, or going to concerts,theatre etc
i don,t think they are all looking just for someone that looks like brad pitt .
You might meet someone in real life,
do not just rely on dating apps.

Mister Vain

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I initially moved back in with my parents while I got settled back in my born county, but since then it has become beneficial for both me and my parents to stay living together. They're both over 70, and I help them with the tech side of things, keeping them up to date with tv and sports, etc that they wouldn't be able to arrange themselves. My mother said that even her phone would be out the window if I leave. So I'm kinda stuck, but can leave at any stage if I really wanted. Just makes sense right now to stay.

If there's one thing that is definite about living at home, its that you become the resident I.T guru. I recently built a log cabin in my parents back garden and am loving it. I have my own space but am still close to the family. Rent is just far too expensive so it seemed like the best option. Like that my folks always need help with tech stuff. My father can't even set the alarm on his phone.

Zorya

Goodness gracious me, that chap ^^^^ has made a skillion videos about how getting and keeping girlfriends. There is something quite odd about it all.

Edit ok its gone

jimjangles

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

Church on Tuesday

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

Are you sure about that?

Like I said, it's up to you man, you've got loads of good advice here from most and things will only improve if you want them to improve.

_blaaz

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

Tbh if its making you feel.this bad....its hardly worth bothering with



Lifes too short to feel.crappy about yourself

Zorya

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

D'you know what jimjangles seen as life is crap and you don't want to lift weights, why not lift other things? Go for broke seen as everything is useless. Makes sense.

Here, these are people looking for immediate help, as in tomorrow or sooner. They put you up and feed you.
If you like hot weather this guy in Greece wants a general hand around the place. https://www.workaway.info/981928639952-en.html I don't think the camels are included.
But if you don't like it too warm there's a place in Finland for you and the Huskies ARE included! https://www.workaway.info/567512545568-en.html
And if you like it warm and a bit wilder and taking into account that summer is beautiful in Nepal and there are mountains!!, and you have the few bob for transport there, they are looking or people to help rebuild stuff after the earthquake. https://www.workaway.info/643587577169-en.html

All these and more cost is the journey there.

Life goes fast. Carpe Diem.

Nobelium

jimjangles wrote: »

I'm crap at taking selfies anyway, they always make me look like crap so I just go with any of them.
Anyway I suppose I could try lifting weights but to be honest it's likely not going to make a bit of difference.
I'm not the kind of chappy that would talk to women in the street.
I find women are unfriendly anyway and wouldn't want to stop.
If I say hello walking by most women blank me anyway.
It's no use people I've given up on this.
It's just a stupid waste of time.
There's no fun anymore for me, life is crap, I don't want to worry anyone on the forums.
I'm not depressed or going to do anything stupid. I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

I think you are falling into the same trap as pick up artists do, and think it all some sort of science to be learned. It's really not. For every man who feels like you do, there is women who feel the exact same. Work on developing you for you, and your own satisfaction, not anyone else's.

The key to life is to learn, and try something new every day, and improve what you do every day, even the simplest so called mundane things, that's what will get you up out of bed every morning. Negativity only attracts negative things.

Practice daily gratitude every day, presumably you have food, clean water, shelter, and heating, and clean air to breath. Going for a walk somewhere nice and the when you get home, having a simple cup of tea and fresh apple turnover is like a gift from the Gods. That's more than a lot of people in the world have. Presumably you're not paraplegic or crippled, so life is as good as you want it to be. The best things in life are for free or almost free. Every small little good thing you do each day, think about how fortunate you are to be able to do it. Even washing the dishes and drying them is sending out a little bit of good into the world and your life. Most of all talk nice to yourself, the way you would to a friend you care about, or they way a sports coach who likes you would. Don't talk to yourself negatively, or be hard on yourself.

Work on improving your body and mind every day, and your mental and physical strength and well being. That also involves socialising in whatever means you devise, from clubs to societies to who knows what. If you practice all these things day on day, eventually, you will be a positive happy person again, and then life becomes so much easier. Positivity and simple positive actions, attracts more positive things.

When you've recovered your positivity for life and yourself, then get interested in the types of clubs and societies the opposite sex also frequent. Don't go looking for a woman, just go looking for simple conversation with any and everyone. Aim to get a few female friends first and take it from there, go to dinner or the pub or the cinema with them on a friends only basis, the more women you meet, the sooner you will meet one, by accident, where you both just click and want to date romantically.

dellas1979

jimjangles wrote: »

I don't want to tell people why my life is crap but it's just crap. I'll just drop this whole online dating crap for the foreseeable future as it's not going to get me anywhere.

But you see Jimjangles, if you arent happy with yourself/in your life, how do expect someone to want to be part of your life? I think its a bit selfish you'd want to do that to someone. It's not genuine. I think from what you said you just want to be in any relationship. Not one that's fulling and healthy.

That really is not attractive. Never mind if youve seven eyes and three mickeys or look like quasimido.

Its almost like you are looking to meet someone to get you out of a mess.
You've to get yourself out of the mess.

BTW, just throwing it out to the boards like
Am female, single, no kids, road frontage/house, good job, loves travelling/adventure, and very hard to meet a daycent fella.

Outlaw Pete

dellas1979 wrote: »

But you see Jimjangles, if you arent happy with yourself/in your life, how do expect someone to want to be part of your life? I think its a bit selfish you'd want to do that to someone.

So unless you are happy in yourself/in your life you shouldn't be looking to meet someone? What nonsense, although to be fair to you, it's quite a common attitude.

That really is not attractive.

Maybe not to you but lots of people would be attracted to someone even if they didn't like themselves so much or weren't all that happy with how things have turned out for themselves.

Is almost like you are looking to meet someone to get you out of a mess.

What an awful thing to say.

Am female, single, no kids, road frontage/house, good job, loves travelling/adventure, and very hard to meet a daycent fella.

Lots of 'daycent' fellas around but you might pass them by if you're thinking that guys who aren't all that happy with their life are just looking to meet someone to get out of a mess.

Church on Tuesday

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

So unless you are happy in yourself/in your life you shouldn't be looking to meet someone? What nonsense, although to be fair to you, it's quite a common attitude.



Maybe not to you but lots of people would be attracted to someone even if they didn't like themselves so much or weren't all that happy with how things have turned out for themselves.



What an awful thing to say.



Lots of 'daycent' fellas around but you might pass them by if you're thinking that guys who aren't all that happy with their life are just looking to meet someone to get out of a mess.

It is vital that you are happy and content in yourself before you engage in a relationship with someone else.

Speaking from experience here cos I've been there worn the shirt; my ex was what you may call a damaged individual.

In fairness she told me from the get go she was unhappy for years before she met me. No amount of me reassuring her, complimenting her, encouraging her and being there for her made a jot of a difference in the end. And she was beautiful inside and out but she just simply despised herself.

For those reasons and others she dropped me a few years ago and I'll admit it crushed me and left me in an extremely bad place.

You owe it to yourself to fix yourself. If you don't love yourself in this life then how can you possibly love someone else? Forget the Hollywood bull**** where someone comes along and hey presto; life fixed and complete. You need to be doing that for yourself first and foremost or you'll end up having a fairly miserable life and in turn partner.

ILoveYourVibes

Love relationships and the opposite gender are now what people hold as false idols ...like money or fame.

Love does not always make for a good match. Or not that idolatry type love.

If you want a relationship or a marriage. The one you are with you should endeavor to make your soulmate.

So whoever you end up with by definition is your soulmate.

Love is built.

Accept their flaws ...you can be with anyone then.

moonlighting_1

I joined the MGTOW movement.

Richard Hillman

A key skill in life is to always know when to give up. Late 30s, nothing happening romantically, it's time to call it a day on the ladies front.

I think male suicide is so high because there are males that are just completely unacceptant that they will fail to do their one duty on the planet, reproducing. We are not all supposed to reproduce. If we did, then we would have died out centuries ago.

Just find stuff that you love doing and keep on with it. If people are spending their time failing at reproducing, they are going to end up being miserable and suicidal.

Acceptance is key. Knowing that the game is lost but you may as well have a bit of fun while you're here anyway. Stop looking and you'll find happiness.

Depressing, but probably an element of truth in it..

Mongfinder General

37, no wife, no kids. You should be dancing down the street and into work every day. Do you realize how lucky you are?

Please read this book. https://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood/dp/1594037620

There is very little in it for you if you settle down. If you want a bit of excitement then do something random like that dude from love actually. Pick a random American city suburban bar and hang out there for a couple of weeks. If you've got friend in the States, use their place as a base. You'll have a ball.

Tammy!

suicide_circus wrote: »

If Buck Rogers could do it in the 25th Century, you can do it in the 21st

Yes op just do it like Buck Rogers. Do it like this....

ILoveYourVibes

Go to the past or the future.

Hobosan

moonlighting_1 wrote: »

I joined the MGTOW movement.

Congratulations! I hear the numbers have grown so large that they are only accepting the best and brightest of men.

Very few are being accepted now.

Hobosan

Tilikum17 wrote: »

You’ll met someone when you least expect it.

It sounds like a cliché, but it is true. I never go out and socialise and thought meeting a woman was inconceivable, until late one night, the girl of my dreams broke into my house to rob the gaff. Well, in a twist of fate, she is now conceiving and the YouTube tutorials on delivering babies has made her slightly more trusting of my long term intentions.

Sometimes I wonder if true love and Stockholm Syndrome are one in the same.

Wibbs

Mongfinder General wrote: »

37, no wife, no kids. You should be dancing down the street and into work every day. Do you realize how lucky you are?

Please read this book. https://www.amazon.com/Men-Strike-Boycotting-Marriage-Fatherhood/dp/1594037620

The very first sentence in the blurb: American society has become anti-male. America. Ireland is not America. We have a much lower divorce rate for a start. For all the young wans sounding like valley girls, it's a very different culture.

BabysCoffee

I would suggest getting involved in the community - are there any group volunteering activities? Tidy Towns or community clean up, etc.

Are you a member of the local library? Join a book club or even set one up.

Do you like outdoor activities? Join a walking group/kayak club.

Have you checked out meetup.com? Go on a group cinema meet up, etc.

dellas1979

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

So unless you are happy in yourself/in your life you shouldn't be looking to meet someone? What nonsense, although to be fair to you, it's quite a common attitude.



Maybe not to you but lots of people would be attracted to someone even if they didn't like themselves so much or weren't all that happy with how things have turned out for themselves.



What an awful thing to say.



Lots of 'daycent' fellas around but you might pass them by if you're thinking that guys who aren't all that happy with their life are just looking to meet someone to get out of a mess.

Jeesss-you really took that one personally.

I dont believe you can be in a happy/healthy relationship, unless both people involved are happy, in their own individuality. A bonus is that the person knows themselves and knows what they like. That's very attactive (to me).

Now, sheit happens in people's lives all the time-that's different. Having a good foundation to yourself and a good foundation in the relationship will get couples through those times.

Am far gone away from the path of meeting emotional retards/emotionally unavailable guys, man babies, and fellas who are expecting me to "fix them".

I will not spend my valuable, limited time on this earth with a person like the above. I enjoy my life single. If I was to meet someone who was on same page as me, happy days. If not, I wont die.

pauliebdub

jimjangles wrote: »

So if online dating doesn't work and I have no social life and I live in the midlands seems things aren't really going to work out too good for me for finding someone ever.
I should probably just forget about it.

That's very defeatist. You're not going to meet anyone if you sit at home. You're going to have to step outside of your comfort zone if anything is going to change for you.