What's the etiquette here??

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Ush1 wrote: »

And that story about Andrea the Giant is false, he would lay out all the pages of a broadsheet newspaper on his hotel room bed and deposit a dump the size of a turnip thereon.

Thanks, but I think I'll take the word of Jake the Snake over yours.

FFred

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Thanks, but I think I'll take the word of Jake the Snake over yours.

If only there was a wrestling fanatic on this thread to clear this up :pac:

Brendan Bendar

Clear the dump up?

Back in the day when the Bren was a rising young enthusiastic executive, I roomed with a lad whose preparation for dinner was to fold out a back issue of the Irish Times on the table, toss everything onto it... spuds, meat, peas, onions,
etc, dive in with the knife and fork, bang bang... when finished roll the whole lot up and into the bin.

No wash up,only the cutlery and no drawback other that finding a bit of the Bruce Arnold column between your teeth now and again.

Not a pleasant experience, crusty, hard,and sour tasting he always said.

gerrybbadd

Ya FFFFred, if only....

Or an electric car driving perv, on the lookout for "diddies" while "The Cult" blasts on the radio.

FFred

gerrybbadd wrote: »

Ya FFFFred, if only....

Or an electric car driving perv, on the lookout for "diddies" while "The Cult" blasts on the radio.

Kudos my son. :pac:

decky1

What the fcuk are you on?why should anyone have to wait till your finished? you must think your really special, why don't you get your own toilet installed if your that important. would hate to work for you.

gerrybbadd

Watch out lads.... we got a new guy and potential ettiquette breaker amongst our ranks...

Chill dude, its not serious

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Christ. Who poured cement down his throat.

Ush1

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Thanks, but I think I'll take the word of Jake the Snake over yours.

Not my words, the world's of Hulk Hogan, who I would certainly believe over Jake The Snake.

gerrybbadd

Ush1 wrote: »

Not my words, the world's of Hulk Hogan, who I would certainly believe over Jake The Snake.

Really? Lets see some of the lies The Hulkster has spouted down through the years:

He was asked to fight in the UFC
He was asked to be the lead in the movie, The Wrestler
Mike Tyson was afraid to face him in a boxing match
He was originally offered the chance to be the face of the grills that later became the George Forman Grill
He wrestled 400 times in one year
He lost hundreds of millions of dollars
He once outdrank John Belushi
Elvis was a Hulkamaniac
He once fought Randy Savage for real on a Saturday Night's Main Event
Andre weighed 600+ pounds when Hogan bodyslammed him at Mania 3
and best of all

He was asked to be a bassist for both Metallica and the Rolling Stones.

Ya, i'll take Jake's word i reckon

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

I believe that's called "laying the smack down".

Brendan Bendar

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

I believe that's called "laying the smack down".

Uhmmmm ... more like feeding the chavs to me...

But..... who am I....:rolleyes:

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

But..... who am I....

Someone I respect once told me: you are what you do. So tell us, what did you do today? Weight, colouration, odour etc.

Brendan Bendar

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Someone I respect once told me: you are what you do. So tell us, what did you do today? Weight, colouration, odour etc.

Dhropped a thick ‘King Edward’ into the jaws of a seaside shytther whilst on a bracing walk.

Faced down the ‘front of house man’ who tried to block my approach path to the pans with an aggressive” Over here Sir , I’ll send someone over to take your order”

“Bro, in here to take a dump right now, I’ll get you on the way out”

Needless to say exited the premises,much lighter, hoop string flapping gently.

By the way sh*tters had not a roll but kind of pull out wads a hoop wad.

Bit upset by the whole event.

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

By the way sh*tters had not a roll but kind of pull out wads a hoop wad.

Bit upset by the whole event.

Good man. Solid effort today.

The tissue wad dispensers are an abomination. You use more tissue and not less, it takes more time, and there is a chance you'll 'clip' your hoop with a wayward finger.

EmmetSpiceland

decky1 wrote: »

What the fcuk are you on?why should anyone have to wait till your finished? you must think your really special, why don't you get your own toilet installed if your that important. would hate to work for you.

There were only two stalls D!!

If you’re boss, or anyone, goes into a stall for a crap before you, you do not follow him in and “loose the dogs of war” beside him.

It’s as much of a “toilet foul” as waiting outside a stall directly.

JohnnyFlash

decky1 wrote: »

What the fcuk are you on?why should anyone have to wait till your finished? you must think your really special, why don't you get your own toilet installed if your that important. would hate to work for you.

That addressed to me, bud? The boss calls the shots, and I don’t want some Eastern European emptying his bowels in the stall beside me when he could have waited a few minutes.

Doesn’t matter now anyway; I let him go a few weeks ago.

Brendan Bendar

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Good man. Solid effort today.

The tissue wad dispensers are an abomination. You use more tissue and not less, it takes more time, and there is a chance you'll 'clip' your hoop with a wayward finger.

Correct and right, dhropped a baton like a Brennan’s hotdog roll.

Got some arse butter on my index in the clean up.

Well done sally very erudite and perceptive.

EmmetSpiceland

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

No wash up,only the cutlery and no drawback other that finding a bit of the Bruce Arnold column between your teeth now and again.

Not a pleasant experience, crusty, hard,and sour tasting he always said.

Would he, at least, save George Ryan’s bridge piece, B?

Brendan Bendar

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Would he, at least, save George Ryan’s bridge piece, B?

No Emmett, big theatrical ‘sweep up ‘ of everything, chop bones, potato skins, brown sauce, salt ,pepper, the fuhherking lot.

Saw him reading a Kevin Myers column through a collection of potato skins and rasher rinds once though.

Gave it an extra rattle into the bin after that, if I recall correctly.

Bullocks

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Would he, at least, save George Ryan’s bridge piece, B?

No Emmett, big theatrical ‘sweep up ‘ of everything, chop bones, potato skins, brown sauce, salt ,pepper, the fuhherking lot.

Saw him reading a Kevin Myers column through a collection of potato skins and rasher rinds once though.

Gave it an extra rattle into the bin after that, if I recall correctly.

I'm going to start eating like that lad just to knock a rise out of herself, she's always on about cleaning up better after dinner

EmmetSpiceland

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

That addressed to me, bud? The boss calls the shots, and I don’t want some Eastern European emptying his bowels in the stall beside me when he could have waited a few minutes.

Doesn’t matter now anyway; I let him go a few weeks ago.

On what “grounds”, J, if you don’t mind me asking?

Franz Von Peppercorn II

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

On what “grounds”, J, if you don’t mind me asking?

You’d think you’d know.

gerrybbadd

This should be our national anthem lads. T'would bring a tear to a wooden eye

https://youtu.be/KQVo0l5kav4

Lil Sally Anne Jnr.

Boys I've been to Four Star this evening for the large pizza and I've said yes when they asked me if I want 'cookies'. It's a sure thing that I'm dropping a powerfull load tonight.

I'm breaking the bank in more than one way this evening.

Brendan Bendar

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

Boys I've been to Four Star this evening for the large pizza and I've said yes when they asked me if I want 'cookies'. It's a sure thing that I'm dropping a powerfull load tonight.

Dab a little bit of ‘Hoop Unction’ on your spud Sally.

Work her well in, stretch that drawstring.

Don’t push too hard.

EmmetSpiceland

Franz Von Peppercorn II wrote: »

You’d think you’d know.

Listen, bub, this isn’t you in school. Have the calzones to say what you “mean”.

Voodoomelon

Lil Sally Anne Jnr. wrote: »

It seems like some of ye are experiencing a backlog of sorts and if ye’re not careful it’ll push up through your body and ye’ll be tasting midden at the back of your throats.

Not to go too OT, but seeing as someone mentioned it, I couldn't believe when I found out about a year ago that ^^ this is actually a thing. Humans can actually end up getting so backed up that it gets pushed back into the stomach and out the other end.

Many a nurse has had to deal with the end result, god bless their nerve.

EmmetSpiceland

Voodoomelon wrote: »

Not to go too OT, but seeing as someone mentioned it, I couldn't believe when I found out about a year ago that ^^ this is actually a thing. Humans can actually end up getting so backed up that it gets pushed back into the stomach and out the other end.

Many a nurse has had to deal with the end result, god bless their nerve.

What’s the “deal” there, V? Would it ever require surgery or do they just pump you full of laxatives?

When you say the nurses have to “deal with it”, are they present to lend a “helping hand” when it comes to “un-impacting” the problem. God, it must come out like elephant dung.

I do know a guy, we wouldn’t be close, who didn’t “go” for a number of days. After a vigorous “fingering” the doc prescribed him a laxative but he did so with a word of warning, he told him when he finally “passes” things it would be “very big...and very dry”.

When things finally started to “move” yer man said it was very painful. Lots of heaving and sweating. At one point he said that he “crabwalked” off the pot and sort of “whinnied” around on the bathroom floor. The dump he left in the bog was all in one piece too, shaped like a small American football. So you can imagine why it hurt so much.

It required “breaking up” too, to get through the flush. He didn’t use a hanger and give it the “chop” though, ruined a toilet brush instead. But it worked so couldn’t argue with him.

wing52

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

What’s the “deal” there, V? Would it ever require surgery or do they just pump you full of laxatives?

When you say the nurses have to “deal with it”, are they present to lend a “helping hand” when it comes to “un-impacting” the problem. God, it must come out like elephant dung.

I do know a guy, we wouldn’t be close, who didn’t “go” for a number of days. After a vigorous “fingering” the doc prescribed him a laxative but he did so with a word of warning, he told him when he finally “passes” things it would be “very big...and very dry”.

When things finally started to “move” yer man said it was very painful. Lots of heaving and sweating. At one point he said that he “crabwalked” off the pot and sort of “whinnied” around on the bathroom floor. The dump he left in the bog was all in one piece too, shaped like a small American football. So you can imagine why it hurt so much.

It required “breaking up” too, to get through the flush. He didn’t use a hanger and give it the “chop” though, ruined a toilet brush instead. But it worked so couldn’t argue with him.

If that situation gets too bad, an option is whats known as a "stoma".

It needs to be collected in a bag through a nozzle near the belly button!

Was staring down the barrel of that about 2 years ago after an veeeeery awkward appendicitis situation.

3 weeks in hospital for what's normally a 2 hour job nowadays. Back to better than ever nowadays, bunting out the finest of midden.

No bother blowing the crapper off the wall these days!