What's the etiquette here??

Slideways

Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »

Cannot answer that at the minute Slides...but to celebrate the return of noble this thread will hoy up to Dunne's grab me a box or two of said product....ingest some contents (though it's not brekki time)and post the results here.

Just doin my bit for the further education of the posters in this thread...

I expect results around Sunset tomorrow .......

That’s mighty fine of you Nev. Giving up your smoked kippers and warm ale for breakfast is quite the philanthropic act.

Good, if somewhat eye opening front on the rear to be reported.
Was putting the washing in the machine, luckily it’s a top loader as if I was bent over I dread to think what the circumstances may have led to, when, with little to no warning an immense feeling of urgency came over me. “Good Jaysus” says I out loud in the communal laundry, this was not for waiting. I didn’t even bother putting the detergent in just frog matched back to my room.

Instantaneous disposal as soon as the clutch slipped. The biggest shock was when I got up. Maybe it was a less than ideal angle on the meat Cheerio but Richard III was propped up against the back of the porcelain. Like the local spoofer in the town pub on a Sunday eve, one elbow rested on the varnished counter, back to the optics and telling a right tale to the whole bar.

There was a right spring in my step as I heading back to the Hotpoint to top it up with some suds

Hotblack Desiato

Dunno if any of you follow the David Squires football cartoon in the Guardian, can be quite funny. Anyway there was part of last week's relevant to this thread:

tgdaly

Happy World Toilet Day everyone

Brendan Bendar

tgdaly wrote: »

Happy World Toilet Day everyone

Wow..

Just sprayed a rush of peppery greenish gruel into the pan.
Fuhherking Kiwi fruit are kernts for loosening the chodbin..

Like a young heifer after a feed of aftergrass... straight out horizontal.

Hotblack Desiato

I thought it was international men's day. Coincidence? I think not

MsStote

Dude if you don't want to hear it get some music in the bathroom or build a permanent wall. this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. You could have finished up but you were on your phone.

fuerte1976

Grand so...

Ficheall

tgdaly wrote: »

Happy World Toilet Day everyone

If of interest to the photophiles on this thread:
https://knightsatari.wordpress.com/2020/11/19/world-toilet-day-competition-200e/

Hector Savage

I remember years ago there was a lad that rang Ray Darcy (think he was on Today FM at the time, so we are going back a bit..)
and he had him spoofed that he collected toilet seats, he had him on for a few minutes, him going on about his collection of 5,000 toilet seats from all around the world ... was funny, how naive Darcy can be - can't find it anywhere, don't think it made it to podcast format !

Hector Savage

Ficheall wrote: »

If of interest to the photophiles on this thread:
https://knightsatari.wordpress.com/2020/11/19/world-toilet-day-competition-200e/

Just saw a load of text talking about crap pictures, but no pictures - thankfully ....

tgdaly

Jaysus don't know what's after happening but something has turned the guts absolutely feral. Already had a post coffee evacuation in the afternoon and haven't really eaten since then.

Was out for a walk and about 20 mins from home when I started getting awful cramps. Did well to hold it on the clutch and make if home. It's liked I've just poured out a 2 gallon jug of sour chocolate milk into the pan. Vile stuff

Hammer89

Tiny things they were.

I had to eat them off the palm of my hand like some sort of hungry tramp rather than put them in my own mouth because they're difficult to hold. They're about the size of the head on a matchstick. Who knew that something so little could do so much damage. Well, that's the hope.

As of now they haven't done anything. I haven't so much as passed gas since taking them and we're going on nearly four hours now, but the leaflet says I'll get some action between six and eight hours.

And I can't lie, I'm a little excited. I've never taken laxatives before, so I don't much about what to expect apart from the obvious, but I do know there's a hell of a lot of water and shyte in my system which needs to be washed out by tomorrow afternoon. There's a very small get-together - and I do mean very small, like five people and three of which are from the same household - in my cousin's place for the Ireland match and I've been wanting to wear my lovely 'new' shirt for about six months. Problem is, I'm carrying a bit of timber and if I sit down in the shirt, the buttons on the lower half will pop off and potentially take somebody's eye out. The hope is that the shirt will fit over my belly a little better. I do the same cleanse on a regular basis and it's a lot healthier. You just abstain from carbs and sodium and pump yourself full of water and somewhat contradictory, you drop a lot of water weight. But it takes a couple days and I've only got what, 19 hours or something.

I've had the first fart just there, literally this second by the way. Hopefully it's a sign of things to come. Hopefully it's the equivalent of a bugle noise before a big battle. My bathroom is the battlefield. And with a bit of luck my arse will feel like it sat on the sharp end of a bayonet for a few hours but, as I said, it's worth it. In this day and age it's important for men and women to get any sense of positive welbeing that they can and I - I think - will get some from fitting into this shirt.

C'mon Ireland. C'mon Dulcolax.

rizzodun

Op is full of sh1t

ShatterAlan

You're only 4 hours in.


My guess is that you're going to wake up like Spud in Trainspotting in a sea of your own excrement.

*gets popcorn

SuperSean11

Start popping them like skittles. Taste the rain....no wait

rizzodun

rizzodun wrote: »

Op is full of sh1t

for now.

PirateShampoo

Should of had some movement by now, I'd pop another 2 with a large mug of strong coffee.

XsApollo

There will be no battle,
What’s there is coming out, you have no choice in the matter.
You better hope it’s soft, and not hard and big , or your as*is gonna get ripped a new one .

An Ri rua

XsApollo wrote: »

There will be no battle,
What’s there is coming out, you have no choice in the matter.
You better hope it’s soft, and not hard and big , or your as*is gonna get ripped a new one .

It could be a sh1tty remake of Total Recall (yeah I know, there was a sh1tty remake).

Quaaaiiid....!

mfceiling

Some douche bag has started a new thread on AH about taking 2 dulcolmax tablets cause he needs to clean his insides out.
I mean we have some of the greatest minds on matters of the faecel issues and he goes solo without even checking in here.

The hell is wrong with people?

Gooey Looey

Double drop another two, it'll help you along. Don't worry, you'll be fine!

corner of hells

XsApollo wrote: »

There will be no battle,
What’s there is coming out, you have no choice in the matter.
You better hope it’s soft, and not hard and big , or your as*is gonna get ripped a new one .

This bloke speaks the truth , if that bum spud comes out hard , you're going to let a roar out of ya like Chewbacca fighting the stormtroopers.

Tzardine

Two wont have you running to the jacks in a hurry.

5 of them however will have you going off like the Bellagio fountains.

Speaking from previous experience.

Halenvaneddie

Hammer89 wrote: »

Tiny things they were.

I had to eat them off the palm of my hand like some sort of hungry tramp rather than put them in my own mouth because they're difficult to hold. They're about the size of the head on a matchstick. Who knew that something so little could do so much damage. Well, that's the hope.

As of now they haven't done anything. I haven't so much as passed gas since taking them and we're going on nearly four hours now, but the leaflet says I'll get some action between six and eight hours.

And I can't lie, I'm a little excited. I've never taken laxatives before, so I don't much about what to expect apart from the obvious, but I do know there's a hell of a lot of water and shyte in my system which needs to be washed out by tomorrow afternoon. There's a very small get-together - and I do mean very small, like five people and three of which are from the same household - in my cousin's place for the Ireland match and I've been wanting to wear my lovely 'new' shirt for about six months. Problem is, I'm carrying a bit of timber and if I sit down in the shirt, the buttons on the lower half will pop off and potentially take somebody's eye out. The hope is that the shirt will fit over my belly a little better. I do the same cleanse on a regular basis and it's a lot healthier. You just abstain from carbs and sodium and pump yourself full of water and somewhat contradictory, you drop a lot of water weight. But it takes a couple days and I've only got what, 19 hours or something.

I've had the first fart just there, literally this second by the way. Hopefully it's a sign of things to come. Hopefully it's the equivalent of a bugle noise before a big battle. My bathroom is the battlefield. And with a bit of luck my arse will feel like it sat on the sharp end of a bayonet for a few hours but, as I said, it's worth it. In this day and age it's important for men and women to get any sense of positive welbeing that they can and I - I think - will get some from fitting into this shirt.

C'mon Ireland. C'mon Dulcolax.

You need to boof them my guy

Leg End Reject

I had to take them once after being ill. Unfortunately I sharted, so do take care with the farts.

jk23

Lucozade and surprisingly silvermints will get you flowing like a volcano!

begbysback

Seriously? did the op just take laxatives in the hope of knocking some fat off ?

BrianD3

Such innocuous looking little bastards Two of them might not be too bad but who knows.

Anytime between about 3 and 15 hours prepare for "gentle predictable relief" aka massive cramps, an arse twitching like a rabbit's nose, sh*tting yourself and then not sh*tting again for another week.

One for the etiquette thread?

J. Marston

13 sachets of Movicol should move things along.