What's the etiquette here??

YFlyer

partyguinness wrote: »

It would be good if we could reach out to this guy for his version of events.

Could set up an Ask Me Anything thread.

dulpit

Hector Savage wrote: »

Hilarious story, but f*ck me only the pile of utter scutter that is Vice could turn this story about man hating and racism against whites ....

Remind me where the man hating and "racism against whites" occurs?

dulpit

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=111482372&postcount=8989

Anyone here want to lay claim to this?

Brendan Bendar

dulpit wrote: »

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=111482372&postcount=8989

Anyone here want to lay claim to this?

What does that tool want a tape measure for, it’s a weighing scales you want in these situations.

Big chunky log, nicely marbled with sweet corn, and rasher rinds

Pop her up on the salter.....ooohhhh..... a 250 grammer.


Good start.....

Hector Savage

dulpit wrote: »

Remind me where the man hating and "racism against whites" occurs?

The ****-doer is almost certainly a man. Listen: I have been trying to brush up on my feminism, I really have. And one central tenet of feminism seems to be: do not assume men are the answer to everything. It is so entrenched that a man should do job x, or head up team y, or do **** z in aeroplane toilet α, and we need to rail against that ingrained assumption, we need to think bigger. We need to consider that women are involved just as much if not more so. But in this instance I refuse to believe a woman did a **** so bad it made a plane fall to the ground. I have been in a bathroom after men. I have been into a bathroom after women. A man did this ****, with his man anus;

Okay, so I watched Sully. Sully, in case you haven't seen it, is a film about a quiet and entirely white man landing a plane in a river.

Why bring the fact that Sully is white into it ?
Just pure resentment ..

ToddyDoody

Hector Savage wrote: »

It's always a bad sign when you can't stand the smell of your own.
Usually I relish the smell (not in the German way of examining the midden on the exposed shelf pan and getting the nose 1cm away from it and taking a MASSIVE full lung SNNNIIIFFFFFF - but you know, a small chuckle, a bit of pride, followed by sympathy for the next poor f*cker who'll use this trap) but a few weeks ago I picked something up - nothing major, but had the belly gurgling a bit more than usual - I was racing to wipe the hoop and lash up the jox and leg it outta there.

Didn't even have time to spray the fabreeze.

Rotten stuff.

Very strange. I'm not sick or anything. The whole house was stinked up for a while. Completely threw me off the cooking / cleaning routine. Its amazing what the body can do.

EmmetSpiceland

Hector Savage wrote: »

Why bring the fact that Sully is white into it ?
Just pure resentment ..

I dunno, H. Think you might be looking for a “trigger in the woodpile” that simply isn’t there.

You’d have to agree the chances of a woman packing enough fecal “venom” to take down a 747 is very slim. Even if she missed the bowl completely.

I’ve only encountered one woman, French, who left me stunned after I went into the jacks after her. It was a real “boner killer”. Even then, it was only a 4, 4 and a half tops, on the offensive stink scale.

I’ve yet to met a lady who’s worst farts carry anymore punch than a 6 month old baby. They just don’t seem to have that raw sewage power that could bring a tear to your ear.

As for calling Sully a “white guy” I don’t know what else you’d call him. Wouldn’t want people confusing it with that Denzel Washington movie ‘Flight’ where a “black guy” safely lands a plane while steaming.

Just spitballing my take on it. Hard to concentrate fully though, I’m still venting foul gas. It’s actually unbearable, starting to worry there’s a chunk of turd stuck up the pipe that is causing the “problem” but I’ve no way of proving it.

Think you can go to the doctors due to a, particularly, “nasty” smell?

Hector Savage

I agree , 99.999999% most likely it was a man, it;s the tone they are writing it in, anyway Vice is known as a far far left joke of a media outlet... but thats for another thread ..

EmmetSpiceland

Hector Savage wrote: »

I agree , 99.999999% most likely it was a man, it;s the tone they are writing it in, anyway Vice is known as a far far left joke of a media outlet... but thats for another thread ..

Fair enough, I don’t read it.

I’ve watched a couple of documentaries on the ‘Vice’ tv channel, skateboarding and the like.

Seems to be mostly “weed” related shows and weird Japanese manga cartoons at night.

Bobblehats

Vice? promises to “keep it real”, but is more an excercise in the surreal and I’m not even referring to the women with the hairy legs here more the Chinese-Haitian New Yorkers of “irish” heritage or ginger rappers teaching us how to cook the “perfect lasagne” whilst smoking a bong.

Another two things that just don’t go together but personally I find the station is at its best with shows like Abandoned, when there is nobody in the picture.

Had a fantastic clear out during company time today, was feeling a bit "clogged" after a particularly heavy dinner last night. Had a protein shake and a big tub of yogurt (a guaranteed combination to get things "moving" rapidly) on my tea break and within the hour I was blasting the bowl with a healthy layer of midden. It was joyous. Productivity was increased drastically afterwards. The company should be thankful that I crap on their time.

Voodoomelon

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

I said it to you before Voodoo - not all of this gluten free thing is a fad. There's coeliacs who get sick to f**k if they have a trace of the stuff, and then there's wheat intolerant people who might get away with eating a certain amount, or their tolerance goes down over time. That's what happened to Mrs D, was grand for years and then developed an intolerance.

Go totally gluten free for a few weeks and see how you get on. There are various types of bread out there, some are horrible some are ok. Some decent GF beers. You can drink any cider, wine, or spirits.

I'll bet money your ringpiece will thank you

BTW I'm still eating as much gluten as I ever did. It's perfectly healthy for people who aren't intolerant to it.

Sound advice, in general I stay away from bread altogether, as even with brown bread it can be hit or miss depending on the ingredients.. I could get away with a single slice of white, maybe even sometimes two, but there's no telling how the arse will respond until it's too late. 6-8 hours later I can be ejecting chocolate syrup out my arse at an alarming rate, cursing the heavens for those fleeting moments of white bread goodness.

Just not worth. I worked a bar for donkeys years and after a white roll at lunch, i'd be glued to the staff porcelain for 30 minutes at 8pm, everyone wondering where I went. The game was up when the smell started wafting down the stairs. It was only in my mid 20s I connected the dots.

Self employed for over a decade now, sitting on the jacks for 45 minutes if needed is one of the perks.

sligojoek

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I dunno, H. Think you might be looking for a “trigger in the woodpile” that simply isn’t there.

You’d have to agree the chances of a woman packing enough fecal “venom” to take down a 747 is very slim. Even if she missed the bowl completely.

I’ve only encountered one woman, French, who left me stunned after I went into the jacks after her. It was a real “boner killer”. Even then, it was only a 4, 4 and a half tops, on the offensive stink scale.

I’ve yet to met a lady who’s worst farts carry anymore punch than a 6 month old baby. They just don’t seem to have that raw sewage power that could bring a tear to your ear.

As for calling Sully a “white guy” I don’t know what else you’d call him. Wouldn’t want people confusing it with that Denzel Washington movie ‘Flight’ where a “black guy” safely lands a plane while steaming.

Just spitballing my take on it. Hard to concentrate fully though, I’m still venting foul gas. It’s actually unbearable, starting to worry there’s a chunk of turd stuck up the pipe that is causing the “problem” but I’ve no way of proving it.

Think you can go to the doctors due to a, particularly, “nasty” smell?

You've obviously never worked in a rural Irish pub in the 80s.

Scoundrel

Oh good lord lads after indulging in a hape of bottles of stella for the football yesterday I decided to treat myself to a lamb jalfrezi and it has got its revenge this morning. I was awoke by the familiar gurgling in the pit up and out to the Jack's straight away and explosion of epic proportions followed by rancid cow pat afterwards. Oh the fent was unreal enough to knock a horny Meathman off his sister.

Utter Consternation

I nearly sliced the top of my index finger off at the weekend working on my bicycle.

It's at times like this that you realise the dexterity required to wipe your hole.

It's most uncomfortable getting a 'full polish.'

Hector Savage

Yeah nothing worse than trying to wipe yer hole when you have a paper cut.

Utter Consternation

Hector Savage wrote: »

Yeah nothing worse than trying to wipe yer hole when you have a paper cut.

On your arse?

Brendan Bendar

Utter Consternation wrote: »

I nearly sliced the top of my index finger off at the weekend working on my bicycle.

It's at times like this that you realise the dexterity required to wipe your hole.

It's most uncomfortable getting a 'full polish.'

Agree, after a nasty incident with a hedge trimmer had to resort the garden hose to clear the mulch off the muzzle.

Could only be carried out under cover of darkness.

JohnnyFlash

Utter Consternation wrote: »

I nearly sliced the top of my index finger off at the weekend working on my bicycle.

It's at times like this that you realise the dexterity required to wipe your hole.

It's most uncomfortable getting a 'full polish.'

‘Working on your bicycle’? Is that a euphemism? More likely to have got the top of the finger caught in the door when ‘trap scanning’ for someone to ‘pump your back wheel’.

Utter Consternation

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Agree, after a nasty incident with a hedge trimmer had to resort the garden hose to clear the mulch off the muzzle.

Could only be carried out under cover of darkness.

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

‘Working on your bicycle’? Is that a euphemism? More likely to have got the top of the finger caught in the door when ‘trap scanning’ for someone to ‘pump your back wheel’.

Sorry to disappoint you, Johnny. No double meaning.

You have a fairly active imagination when it comes to these scenarios. Is there anything you'd like to tell us?

JohnnyFlash

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Sorry to disappoint you, Johnny. No double meaning.

You have a fairly active imagination when it comes to these scenarios. Is there anything you'd like to tell us?

I don’t know, UC, you just strike me as the sort who uses public jacks for more than taking a shïte or having an old sniff of the devil’s dandruff.

Might also be found at truck stops and calling up to the parochial house.

Utter Consternation

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

I don’t know, UC, you just strike me as the sort who uses public jacks for more than taking a shïte or having an old sniff of the devil’s dandruff.

Might also be found at truck stops and calling up to the parochial house.

Not my scene, JF. Each to their own. If two people want to cornhole each other in a public convenience, it's their own choice.

EmmetSpiceland

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Not my scene, JF. Each to their own. If two people want to cornhole each other in a public convenience, it's their own choice.

That’s very conscientious of you, U.

I’d be pretty “miffed” if I was mid-shít and had to put up with the sounds of grunting and thighs slapping ass. The least they could do is wait until I’m at the hand dryers.

Utter Consternation

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

That’s very conscientious of you, U.

I’d be pretty “miffed” if I was mid-shít and had to put up with the sounds of grunting and thighs slapping ass. The least they could do is wait until I’m at the hand dryers.

Everything within reason, Emmet. No one wants to get the surround sound effect of two 'bears' grinding at each other when you're trying to take a sh1te in peace.

Very poor etiquette.

Stevieluvsye

What a coincidence they i happened to hear "lets go outside" during my lunch break

EmmetSpiceland

Utter Consternation wrote: »

Everything within reason, Emmet. No one wants to get the surround sound effect of two 'bears' grinding at each other when you're trying to take a sh1te in peace.

Very poor etiquette.

Agreed, U. Let them “have at it” in the disabled toilet if they can’t keep their hands off each other. No problem with that.

Tell, where would you “stand” on people taking phone calls while on the pot?

It’s a bit of a “bug bear” of mine, if I’m honest, but only in public toilets.

Voodoomelon

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Might also be found at truck stops and calling up to the parochial house.

That reminds me. A lad I know used to service photocopiers, they had a contract with a local parish in Meath also to provide copying supplies etc. The priests use the photocopiers for banging out the weekly news bulletin.

Anyways, him and his work buddy showed up at the parochial house to work on the copier. Rang the doorbell, nothing. Rang it again, still nothing. Gave it one last go and the priest answers the doors all flustered, "come in lads, come in, the copier is down the hall there". They wandered down the hall and passed the jacks with the door still open and a pong to knock a man off his feet.

What was resting on the radiator beside the jacks other than a half eaten ham sandwich and a cup of tea.

Aglomerado

Voodoomelon wrote: »

That reminds me. A lad I know used to service photocopiers, they had a contract with a local parish in Meath also to provide copying supplies etc. The priests use the photocopiers for banging out the weekly news bulletin.

Anyways, him and his work buddy showed up at the parochial house to work on the copier. Rang the doorbell, nothing. Rang it again, still nothing. Gave it one last go and the priest answers the doors all flustered, "come in lads, come in, the copier is down the hall there". They wandered down the hall and passed the jacks with the door still open and a pong to knock a man off his feet.

What was resting on the radiator beside the jacks other than a half eaten ham sandwich and a cup of tea.

Holy sh!t!

Utter Consternation

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

What a coincidence they i happened to hear "lets go outside" during my lunch break

There's a time and a place for everything. If i'm going for a sh1te i expect a bit of peace and quiet to ruminate about life and read the latest updates about Brexit on my phone.

I'd don't want this serene time to be interrupted by a dude giving another dude a rusty trombone.

Stevieluvsye

I'll be honest, i couldn't have a dump with anyone else in the toilets, whether that be urinal or any other trap let alone someone else on the phone. Thankfully there are a number of extremely comfortable and spacious disabled toilets scattered around this building.

Also i get disturbed when someone chats to me in next urinal when having a piss. Just fcuk off with your small talk