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GF too quiet in the bedroom.

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    #122
    North inner city hoodlum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 123 ✭✭North inner city hoodlum


    Tommysocks11 wrote: »
    No she says I should be hard without any help so won't help or intervene in that department

    Www. hardporn. ie

    Missus, tommysocks11 what are you doing?

    Tommysocks11, I've to get myself hard or you can help if you like :)


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    #123
    Jimmy Dags
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 172 ✭✭Jimmy Dags


    Tommysocks11 wrote: »
    No she says I should be hard without any help so won't help or intervene in that department

    Are ye like star fishes in bed?


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    #124
    shamrock55
    Registered Users Posts: 7,208 ✭✭✭shamrock55


    Do you give her oral or a finger or any foreplay,if so does that in itself not arrouse you?,I know a helping hand is always nice and a one sided sexual experience is ****e but should you looking after her not get you going


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    #125
    Tommysocks11
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭Tommysocks11


    Jimmy Dags wrote:
    Are ye like star fishes in bed?


    No sure what that means


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    #126
    Tommysocks11
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭Tommysocks11


    shamrock55 wrote:
    Do you give her oral or a finger or any foreplay,if so does that in itself not arrouse you?,I know a helping hand is always nice and a one sided sexual experience is ****e but should you looking after her not get you going


    Yes it turns me on but few minutes later I go soft again which is infuriating for both of us


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    #127
    hightower1
    Registered Users Posts: 3,207 ✭✭✭hightower1


    Tommysocks11 wrote: »
    No she says I should be hard without any help so won't help or intervene in that department

    Put simply this means she is **** in bed and not you.

    She's demonstrated a fundamental lack of understanding as to how human physiology and / or sexual chemistry works.

    Ignore her remarks about past experiences, these have no bearing on your relationship or you specifically. Every single person is different when it comes to this stuff.

    As to her comment about her past partners - frankly that was uncalled for, counterproductive and down right disrespectful of you. Please direct her to read this thread.


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    #128
    Tommysocks11
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭Tommysocks11


    hightower1 wrote:
    She's demonstrated a fundamental lack of understanding as to how human physiology and / or sexual chemistry works.

    hightower1 wrote:
    As to her comment about her past partners - frankly that was uncalled for, counterproductive and down right disrespectful of you. Please direct her to read this thread.

    hightower1 wrote:
    Put simply this means she is **** in bed and not you.

    hightower1 wrote:
    Ignore her remarks about past experiences, these have no bearing on your relationship or you specifically. Every single person is different when it comes to this stuff.


    Ah no in fairness she's very understanding and does not go on about it but she must be annoyed with me too as I'm not satisfying her??


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    #129
    Tommysocks11
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭Tommysocks11


    Tommysocks11 wrote:
    Ah no in fairness she's very understanding and does not go on about it but she must be annoyed with me too as I'm not satisfying her??

    Will things improve or am I programmed wrong and just not a sexual person???


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    #130
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,629 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    Tommysocks11 wrote: »
    Will things improve or am I programmed wrong and just not a sexual person???

    Ah so that's who you are, I was wondering


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    #131
    Mackmatic
    Registered Users Posts: 52 ✭✭Mackmatic


    Sounds like your Mrs is awful and your too weak.

    Move on pal.

    Either that or stick a ruler to the bottom of your pecker and just pretend you're hard. Also use Papier machey to fill in any empty areas if you're... ahem... lacking in the area.


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    #132
    posturingpat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,722 ✭✭✭posturingpat


    Get a Kenneth like Mark Corrigan did.


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    #133
    Yer Da sells Avon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,737 ✭✭✭Yer Da sells Avon


    I keep misreading the thread title as "GF too quiet in the bathroom". FFS.


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    #134
    blinding
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    Tommysocks11 wrote: »
    Over 2 years together and yes I do get erect randomly so no medical issue I think, maybe anxiety??
    Ye are incompatible . Time to find some fresh .


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    #135
    Tommysocks11
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭Tommysocks11


    We get on so well except for this I'm wondering is there any merit in me telling her to find some friends with benefits to keep her satisfied, do open relationships work???


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    #136
    blinding
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    Have you tried her sister and told her that her sister is better .

    There should be a reaction ! ! !


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    #137
    shamrock55
    Registered Users Posts: 7,208 ✭✭✭shamrock55


    Tommysocks11 wrote: »
    We get on so well except for this I'm wondering is there any merit in me telling her to find some friends with benefits to keep her satisfied, do open relationships work???

    I'm calling bull**** on this now,are you for real??


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    #138
    Vladimir Poontang
    Closed Accounts Posts: 657 ✭✭✭Vladimir Poontang


    How about some warm apple pie?


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    #139
    Overheal
    Registered Users Posts: 81,726 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Tommysocks11 wrote: »
    We get on so well except for this I'm wondering is there any merit in me telling her to find some friends with benefits to keep her satisfied, do open relationships work???

    Open relationship will only work as a slow breakup.

    I don’t know what she wants though, but I’d stop going down on her if she doesn’t understand. Next time you’re hard just tell her it’s time to go in and then watch her reaction when she exclaims how you expect her to be wet and ready


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    #140
    worded
    Registered Users Posts: 4,535 ✭✭✭worded


    I spent the weekend defrosting the fridge

    Or fore play as she calls it


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    #141
    jcorr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 232 ✭✭jcorr


    OP......invest in one of those realistic sex dolls.


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    #142
    BofaDeezNuhtz
    Registered Users Posts: 589 ✭✭✭BofaDeezNuhtz


    Vladimir Poontang wrote: »
    How about some warm apple pie?

    She's gonna have some hassle fitting a whole one of them up her Fanny tbh :eek:


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    #143
    blinding
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    Its female entitlement gone Mad .


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    #144
    Esel
    Registered Users Posts: 22,016 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    Move the bed out from under the bridge.

    Not your ornery onager



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    #145
    Tommysocks11
    Registered Users Posts: 222 ✭✭Tommysocks11


    shamrock55 wrote:
    I'm calling bull**** on this now,are you for real??


    Yes 100%, what's so unbelievable, I just want her to be satisfied


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    #146
    REXER
    Registered Users Posts: 458 ✭✭REXER


    Suzuki_TL1000R wrote: »
    She's gonna have some hassle fitting a whole one of them up her Fanny tbh :eek:

    Try one of them LIDL Apple Foldovers, that may be more doable! ;)


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    #147
    blinding
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 7,466 ✭✭✭blinding


    On construction sites they sometimes ( rarely actually ) use a concrete vibrator called a Screamer ( external concrete vibrator )

    It makes a lot of noise and shakes the hell out of stuff . Either connect it to the bed or the girlfriend and get some earplugs ( for your ears obviously ) .


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    #148
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Started going out with a girl recently who was like that and after a few a few weeks I had to bring it up and it turns out the girl was just actually very impressionable and after watching a quiet place thought if she made a sound she'd be eaten by aliens. So what I did was I bought a used hearing aid on Adverts and told her not to worry herself. She's grand now.


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    #149
    theyoungchap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 522 ✭✭✭theyoungchap


    With all due respects, it sounds like a sack of spuds......yawn.


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    #150
    Esel
    Registered Users Posts: 22,016 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    Are you not bored yet?

    Because we are.

    Not your ornery onager



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    #151
    Robocopwannabe
    Registered Users Posts: 12 ✭Robocopwannabe


    Full of **** TommySocks, I think he must be getting off on this thread. I think we are all bored of it at this stage. What age are you? 14? Have you been with a girl yet?


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