GF too quiet in the bedroom.

Tommysocks11

Thanks for replies and ideas but calling it quits is not an option as we get on brilliantly except this one issue, maybe we both need to go and talk to professional about compromise in bedroom and get different ideas as at present I'm just miserable

dexter_morgan

Tommysocks11 wrote: »

Just wondering if any posters have experience of a girlfriend or wife who won't take the initiative in the bedroom and expects the man to be standing for attention at all times without even a hint of foreplay, I used to be ready most of the time in my twenties but now I would like a hand every so often but she goes ballistic if I'm soft, help Please???

Tell her to suck it up!

riffmongous

Have you considered getting a fluffer?

Plopsu

She wants you to become aroused without physical genital contact? Tell her that from now on you expect her to be able to have an orgasm from you slapping her on the shins with your soft on. Makes about the same amount of sense.

Tommysocks11

Ya I think she imagines I should be like always hard like a sex toy or vibrator

Jimmy Dags

Start wearing a cock ring or elastic band from the office.

Appledreams15

Tommysocks11 wrote: »

Just wondering if any posters have experience of a girlfriend or wife who won't take the initiative in the bedroom and expects the man to be standing for attention at all times without even a hint of foreplay, I used to be ready most of the time in my twenties but now I would like a hand every so often but she goes ballistic if I'm soft, help Please???

Do look at what you're doing aswell.
One man I was with drank a huge amount. He could rarely get an erection. Alcohol causes huge problems with erections.

He is the one man Ive been with that drank the most.Other men Ive been out with drank less and no one else had any problem.

Make sure you have a look at your diet/lifestyle first

sbsquarepants

Tommysocks11 wrote: »

We do talk about it and it leads to rows mostly and I just want to make her happy and contented

Oh you poor innocent child - happy contented women are a myth - like mermaids, or blaxicans.

Appledreams15 wrote: »

Make sure you have a look at your diet/lifestyle first

I find if you use powdered Viagra instead of salt on your batter burger and chips after a feed of creamy pints, you can hammer nails with the auld love truncheon. You are what you eat after all.

Pac1Man

Try putting the balls in too.

Appledreams15

He was an abusive b#@tard aswell. I remember he used to scream at me that I was a 'sex doll', and 'didn't know how to turn him on",
While I was sitting looking at him drinking 20+ drinks a day.
That was the reason he couldn't get an erection
Sigh relationships.

Cupcake_Crisis

I don’t know if you’re on any meds op, but some can wreak havoc on the old love sausage. I know from bitter first hand experience.

Overheal

Tommysocks11 wrote: »

Thanks for replies and ideas but calling it quits is not an option as we get on brilliantly except this one issue, maybe we both need to go and talk to professional about compromise in bedroom and get different ideas as at present I'm just miserable

Could just be that you need to introduce toys to satisfy her then? Has it always been this way or has there been new lifestyle factors? Life stresses can be a big downer on sex drive for example, not the least of which could also be performance anxiety but that’s just one factor of potentially many. Beyond that it’s not always the case that you’re both going to be in the mood at the same times; you’ll be ready and she won’t or vice versa. Just happens that way. You could also try to alter whatever your current masturbation behavior has been to see if that illicits positive change. It would also be a good idea to discuss changing up sexual behaviors, such as potentially exploring other fantasies you or she may have. How is your intimacy otherwise, are you cuddling regularly, giving mutual massages, playing with hair, etc?

Overheal

Pac1Man wrote: »

Try putting the balls in too.

1. Cut a hole in the box

2. Stick your junk in the box

3. Make her open the box

And that’s the way you dooo it!

Cupcake_Crisis

Oh! Toys! Excellent idea! Get yourself to lovehoney!

Arrival

So she doesn't do any foreplay/give you oral and expects you to be fully hard? I don't think I've ever had sex without some oral first because it really helps as it really shows that they're as into it as you are. I'd be so frustrated about someone being so unenthusiastic and unaffectionate that I'd honestly end the relationship if she was so nasty about your concerns, that's no way to be living. When she mentioned the other men she's been with always being hard I'd have laughed in her face and told her to go back to them so and never contact her again. Honestly, from what you've shared here she sounds like a pretty **** partner, seriously

Appledreams15

Arrival wrote: »

So she doesn't do any foreplay/give you oral and expects you to be fully hard? I don't think I've ever had sex without some oral first because it really helps as it really shows that they're as into it as you are. I'd be so frustrated about someone being so unenthusiastic and unaffectionate that I'd honestly end the relationship if she was so nasty about your concerns, that's no way to be living. When she mentioned the other men she's been with always being hard I'd have laughed in her face and told her to go back to them so and never contact her again. Honestly, from what you've shared here she sounds like a pretty **** partner, seriously

Thinking of the men who never gave me oral and went straight into sex.

Thinking of the men who had their own orgasm and rolled over, and never gave me one.

Plenty of inconsiderate, selfish people out there.

I am still dreaming of my dream lover.

Cupcake_Crisis

Appledreams15 wrote: »

Thinking of the men who never gave me oral and went straight into sex.

Thinking of the men who had their own orgasm and rolled over, and never gave me one.

Plenty of inconsiderate, selfish people out there.

I am still dreaming of my dream lover.

I don’t think they were implying that only women are selfish in bed. I mean, we’ve ALL been there, male or female.

goat2

Tommysocks11 wrote: »

It could be my fault, I mean I wish I would get aroused easily but I just don't all the time, have had blood tests etc, counciling but still the same, just wish she was a bit more understanding and less demanding

I thought all this time you were verile, not this let down,

Overheal

Appledreams15 wrote: »

Thinking of the men who never gave me oral and went straight into sex.

Thinking of the men who had their own orgasm and rolled over, and never gave me one.

Plenty of inconsiderate, selfish people out there.

I am still dreaming of my dream lover.

Arrival

Appledreams15 wrote: »

Thinking of the men who never gave me oral and went straight into sex.

Thinking of the men who had their own orgasm and rolled over, and never gave me one.

Plenty of inconsiderate, selfish people out there.

I am still dreaming of my dream lover.

Did you only have sex with men while in a relationship with them? Because a lot of people wouldn't do oral for casual flings, and why would they as it's dangerous. As for orgasms, yeah I guess lots of guys can be selfish like that, especially in casual flings as they're purely in those for their own sexual gratification - are lads who'll have sex with a girl they basically just met really expected to care about their satisfaction? They're basically using you, this is why so many women regret and don't like one night stands. If they were all in relationships, you dated some ****ty partners, sorry. I don't understand how there are such people in this day and age, it's never been easier to learn how to just be a conscious person about a partner's pleasure as well as your own

Personally I hate casual flings, I'm strictly monogamous as I think sex without both people caring about each other is hugely inferior which just leaves me thinking "what's the point in doing this when it's nowhere near as good as what's possible?"

Robocopwannabe

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Oh you poor innocent child - happy contented women are a myth - like mermaids, or blaxicans.



I find if you use powdered Viagra instead of salt on your batter burger and chips after a feed of creamy pints, you can hammer nails with the auld love truncheon. You are what you eat after all.

My Dad always said that ‘You are what you eat’ . Guess I’m a badly C*nt so!!!

Appledreams15

Arrival wrote: »

Appledreams15 wrote: »

Thinking of the men who never gave me oral and went straight into sex.

Thinking of the men who had their own orgasm and rolled over, and never gave me one.

Plenty of inconsiderate, selfish people out there.

I am still dreaming of my dream lover.

Did you only have sex with men while in a relationship with them? Because a lot of people wouldn't do oral for casual flings, and why would they as it's dangerous. As for orgasms, yeah I guess lots of guys can be selfish like that, especially in casual flings as they're purely in those for their own sexual gratification - are lads who'll have sex with a girl they basically just met really expected to care about their satisfaction? They're basically using you, this is why so many women regret and don't like one night stands. If they were all in relationships, you dated some ****ty partners, sorry. I don't understand how there are such people in this day and age, it's never been easier to learn how to just be a conscious person about a partner's pleasure as well as your own

Personally I hate casual flings, I'm strictly monogamous as I think sex without both people caring about each other is hugely inferior which just leaves me thinking "what's the point in doing this when it's nowhere near as good as what's possible?"

No. I am talking about some relationships.
Here's an example of one boyfriend.
I went down on him until he came. I aske him to for me. He said he was so tired after orgasm that he couldn't possibly move.
And he never did...ever.

That's a load of bollocks about one night stands that you wrote. "They are just using you". Using me how?

What do you think I want?

Women like casual sex as much as men. I'm actually thinking of 1 one night stand that was amazing, and much more considerate than a boyfriend that I had.

One night stands can be absolutely amazing.

Appledreams15

After being stuck in selfish relationships when I was younger, I actually really like the variety of one night stands now. I feel like I am discovering sex for the first time.
That's what it is all about!
I feel sad I didn't know the pleasure of it when I was younger.
I am in a mediterranean country right now.
I met an Australian girl here, and she said the mediterranean lads are so selfless and love going down, that they are selfish c,_ts back in Australia.

I am saying this for all of us, men and women, Ireland culture ruined sex for us.

In the mediterranean they don't have any of the damage.

I wasted all of my 20s not knowing what sex was like

I have to make up for it now. Enjoy sex, it is important and life is short

Ragnar Lothbrok

Diabetes, stress, medication, diet, weight, smoking, medical issues, financial pressures, young children, the list goes on forever - all of these things can affect your ability to attain an erection. Particularly as you get older.

However, unfortunately, looking at your replies I would guess that the number one cause of your problems seems to be the lack of a caring, understanding and loving girlfriend.

Men are unfortunate that there is a widely held belief that we are always 100% ready and willing for sex, regardless of circumstances. It's a myth that in many ways we have spread ourselves.

You say that apart from this issue, you have a good relationship with her, but I would seriously question that. The fact that she even mentions former lovers and judges you harshly when compared to them shows a real callousness on her part, a complete disregard for your feelings. I honestly believe that this relationship is something you need to get away from - for both your sakes.

Good luck for the future - hopefully you can move on and find a loving girlfriend in future, one who is able to satisfy you and you can satisfy her.

Cupcake_Crisis

Appledreams15 wrote: »

No. I am talking about some relationships.
Here's an example of one boyfriend.
I went down on him until he came. I aske him to for me. He said he was so tired after orgasm that he couldn't possibly move.
And he never did...ever.
.

Yet you kept going first....

Tommysocks11

Thanks for all replies, thoughts and experience that you folks posted, I will just try to find a solution

bandit600

don`t waste your time mate. life is too short. the more head games she plays the less you will perform.
sounds all one sided.BUY HER THE JOY OF SEX. does she get her own way most of the time.

Tommysocks11

Ah no she is opinionated but mostly right about things as she's quiet intelligent and tuned in

tell her you only get hard for the anal since you got outa the joint!
or tell her you love a golden shower and if she doesn't then she's a prude.
throw it back at her and make her sound like a puritan!!

demanufactured

She must be one of them "No" Voters.