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wake etiquette

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Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,255 ✭✭✭tommy2bad


    jmayo wrote: »
    What about at Christmas or Easter.
    They'll have to stretch it a couple of days.

    AIUI Easter Sunday is the only day a funeral cant be celebrated in a church. I've been to funerals on Christmas day and Stephens day.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,186 ✭✭✭✭jmayo


    tommy2bad wrote: »
    AIUI Easter Sunday is the only day a funeral cant be celebrated in a church. I've been to funerals on Christmas day and Stephens day.

    Ah but how can you have a funeral on Christmas day?

    The pubs aren't open.

    I am not allowed discuss …



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,786 ✭✭✭wakka12


    I think it was a lovely gesture of you to go over even though you didnt really know each other well. You were just neighbours, just a condolence and show of face was all that was needed and Im sure the fiance appreciated every single person that dropped by .
    I would also have felt awkward staying any longer than that if I was in your position and it was mainly family there


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,857 ✭✭✭ablelocks


    heard this author on the radio a few months back, and he spoke very movingly about how the wake and the support of the community helped him and his family...

    My-Fathers-Wake-198x300.jpg

    i think we have a more pragmatic attitude to death because of wakes and being close to the deceased does help the family and it's somehow good for the people who attend...even if they're not close relations or friends.

    it could be an age thing, but the oldies do seem to love a good funeral. My mother told myself and my wife one evening before a wake to "have fun, make sure ye stay for the chat"!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,547 ✭✭✭Agricola


    I'd echo what others have said. You did exactly right by making it a fleeting visit. In my experience, if wake and funeral go-ers showed a little more awareness of what's best for the bereaved, everyone bar the immediate family would try to make themselves scarce reasonably soon after arriving. Too many people love a good wake and never know when to go.


  • Posts: 8,856 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    You did great OP- well done! :)

    What you did was not quite "wake" the deceased- you paid your respects. But the family and close relatives and possibly friends may have "waked" the deceased through sitting around for hours telling stories etc It's a way to slow down the very rapid grieving process that we seem to experience more and more
    Waking is a very good way to start dealing with the grieving process.

    you and your wife were part of that waking process- their waking process- and that helped the family experience the support that is so important in such situations. you did everything right, and nothing wrong.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 20,633 ✭✭✭✭Buford T. Justice XIX


    Great story, but I'd never be able for you and your "tombs" Sorry don't mean to offend but tombs are unusual....
    I know what you mean, I found it kinda strange myself but take no notice anymore.

    It was a bit surreal standing where a couple of generations of your family were buried but that section of the graveyard, the oldest, is all tombs and all bar one or two would have had burials in the last 15-20 years.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,414 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    You did fine OP.

    It was all going well at my father's wake until my four year old neice walked past wearing his old flat cap that he was to buried with.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,021 ✭✭✭mickrock




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  • Registered Users Posts: 16,500 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    jmayo wrote: »
    What about at Christmas or Easter.
    They'll have to stretch it a couple of days.
    They'll work around it, my granny died on the 20th of December last year and her funeral mass and burial occured on xmas eve.

    Xmas Day, Easter Sunday and Good Friday are the only days which a Funeral Mass cannot occur.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,193 ✭✭✭✭Kerrydude1981


    New rule came into place down here in September,can no longer have funeral mass on a Sunday

    http://www.radiokerry.ie/no-sunday-funeral-mass-ruling-comes-place-kerry/


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    They'll work around it, my granny died on the 20th of December last year and her funeral mass and burial occured on xmas eve.

    Xmas Day, Easter Sunday and Good Friday are the only days which a Funeral Mass cannot occur.

    You can have a funeral any day, and a Funeral Mass on Christmas Day. It's Lent where it gets tricky, you still have the funeral but not the Mass.

    Do they not reach ye anything in them RE classes they make ye go to?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,058 ✭✭✭whoopsadoodles


    They'll work around it, my granny died on the 20th of December last year and her funeral mass and burial occured on xmas eve.

    Never a nice time to bury someone you love but Christmas eve must be spectacularly sh*t :(


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    New rule came into place down here in September,can no longer have funeral mass on a Sunday

    http://www.radiokerry.ie/no-sunday-funeral-mass-ruling-comes-place-kerry/

    You can't be sending round a collection plate at a funeral, it's bad-looking.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,874 ✭✭✭✭Andy From Sligo


    mickrock wrote: »

    Oh no, - not saying that was me the other day but thats exactly a kind of thing I could see myself doing , especially at the quiet moments when you dont know what to say and just come out with crap! ... then worry about it later.

    I think i did say to his fiancé "how are you.... that's a silly thing to say" ... and then I keep thinking yep that was a silly thing to say


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