Gay baboon terrorises villagers, rapes 5 men.

drunkmonkey · 20-04-2017 2:26pm #1

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...nothing like a dose of anal cancer to ruin your weekend.

The baboon is said to have attacked more than six men in the past week and what’s baffling the villagers is the fact that the baboon only attacks guys and does not hurt it’s victims but rather performs sexual acts on top of the terrified victim and leaves.

One victim, George Chiune said he was coming from the local shebeen when the baboon attacked him and pinned him down.

“I thought it wanted to kill me but realized it was after my bum,”, George said.

Five men were admitted to hospital yesterday after experiencing acute anal pains and fatigue. Doctors confirmed the men have anal cancer.

Full story
http://zimbabwe-today.com/gay-baboon-terrorises-villagers-in-southafrica-rapes-5-men/

Kimbot · 20-04-2017 2:29pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...nothing like a dose of anal cancer to ruin your weekend.

The baboon is said to have attacked more than six men in the past week and what’s baffling the villagers is the fact that the baboon only attacks guys and does not hurt it’s victims but rather performs sexual acts on top of the terrified victim and leaves.

One victim, George Chiune said he was coming from the local shebeen when the baboon attacked him and pinned him down.

“I thought it wanted to kill me but realized it was after my bum,”, George said.

Five men were admitted to hospital yesterday after experiencing acute anal pains and fatigue. Doctors confirmed the men have anal cancer.

Full story
http://zimbabwe-today.com/gay-baboon-terrorises-villagers-in-southafrica-rapes-5-men/

Now now DM, being drunk is not going to excuse your actions this time :pac:

D3V!L · 20-04-2017 2:29pm

They had a sudden on set cases of anal cancer ?? totally believable :pac:

andekwarhola · 20-04-2017 2:31pm

/notes username of OP

Your Face · 20-04-2017 2:34pm

Ah not again?!

Boom_Bap · 20-04-2017 2:35pm

Baboons cannot be gay. They just ride everything and anything.

D3V!L · 20-04-2017 2:36pm

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Baboons cannot be gay. They just ride everything and anything.

anyway , its only gay if you kiss :rolleyes:

DJIMI TRARORE · 20-04-2017 2:37pm

Only in AH,any word on the baboon

Chancer3001 · 20-04-2017 2:37pm

Thinly veiled 'I got laid on holidays' thread

greencap · 20-04-2017 2:38pm

The baboon is said to be approx 6ft tall with a zip on his back.

judeboy101 · 20-04-2017 2:40pm

Mugabe must be in heat

Conall Cernach · 20-04-2017 2:40pm

Doctor: "It appears you have had anal sex recently."
Man: "I was raped! By.... a.... gay....baboon.... honest."
Doctor: "You now have ass cancer."
Man: "Well, at least I got a speedy diagnosis."

hytrogen · 20-04-2017 2:41pm

Bum backla

pjohnson · 20-04-2017 2:41pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...nothing like a dose of anal cancer to ruin your weekend.

The baboon is said to have attacked more than six men in the past week and what’s baffling the villagers is the fact that the baboon only attacks guys and does not hurt it’s victims but rather performs sexual acts on top of the terrified victim and leaves.

One victim, George Chiune said he was coming from the local shebeen when the baboon attacked him and pinned him down.

“I thought it wanted to kill me but realized it was after my bum,”, George said.

Five men were admitted to hospital yesterday after experiencing acute anal pains and fatigue. Doctors confirmed the men have anal cancer.

Full story
http://zimbabwe-today.com/gay-baboon-terrorises-villagers-in-southafrica-rapes-5-men/

So when are you getting deported?

wakka12 · 20-04-2017 2:42pm

Can cancer occur that quickly? And why would a baboon cause cancer?

MarkR · 20-04-2017 2:44pm

I have to ask. What were you looking for, when you found that story?

ohnonotgmail · 20-04-2017 2:45pm

Rectum? it nearly killed them!

*I'll get me coat.

drunkmonkey · 20-04-2017 2:48pm

MarkR wrote: »

I have to ask. What were you looking for, when you found that story?

Googled eye infection.

Kimbot · 20-04-2017 2:51pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Googled eyeanal infection.

FYP :pac:

SEPT 23 1989 · 20-04-2017 2:51pm

is that the actual gay baboon or a stock photo of a gay baboon?

statto25 · 20-04-2017 2:52pm

Waterford whispers must have an office in Zimbabwe

Jack the Stripper · 20-04-2017 2:53pm

Some say they are related to the Healy Raes.

dinorebel · 20-04-2017 2:55pm

Planet of the Gapes?

Dublin Pintman · 20-04-2017 2:56pm

Would have thought they'd have aids rather than anal cancer.

20-04-2017 2:57pm

Possibly the most compelling thread title of all time. Possibly.

Hande hoche! · 20-04-2017 2:58pm

wakka12 wrote: »

Can cancer occur that quickly? And why would a baboon cause cancer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHsrr0JJMbY

maudgonner · 20-04-2017 3:05pm

The choice of picture accompanying that story :eek:

Also, it appears that Zimbabwe has become acquainted with the word shebeen - take that, Anti-Irish-Language-Thread!

ohnonotgmail · 20-04-2017 3:07pm

maudgonner wrote: »

The choice of picture accompanying that story!

Also, it appears that Zimbabwe has become acquainted with the word shebeen - take that, Anti-Irish-Language-Thread!

the word is common in south africa as well, especially in the townships