Gay baboon terrorises villagers, rapes 5 men.

drunkmonkey · 20-04-2017 02:26PM #1

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...nothing like a dose of anal cancer to ruin your weekend.

The baboon is said to have attacked more than six men in the past week and what’s baffling the villagers is the fact that the baboon only attacks guys and does not hurt it’s victims but rather performs sexual acts on top of the terrified victim and leaves.

One victim, George Chiune said he was coming from the local shebeen when the baboon attacked him and pinned him down.

“I thought it wanted to kill me but realized it was after my bum,”, George said.

Five men were admitted to hospital yesterday after experiencing acute anal pains and fatigue. Doctors confirmed the men have anal cancer.

Full story
http://zimbabwe-today.com/gay-baboon-terrorises-villagers-in-southafrica-rapes-5-men/

Kimbot · 20-04-2017 02:29PM

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...nothing like a dose of anal cancer to ruin your weekend.

The baboon is said to have attacked more than six men in the past week and what’s baffling the villagers is the fact that the baboon only attacks guys and does not hurt it’s victims but rather performs sexual acts on top of the terrified victim and leaves.

One victim, George Chiune said he was coming from the local shebeen when the baboon attacked him and pinned him down.

“I thought it wanted to kill me but realized it was after my bum,”, George said.

Five men were admitted to hospital yesterday after experiencing acute anal pains and fatigue. Doctors confirmed the men have anal cancer.

Full story
http://zimbabwe-today.com/gay-baboon-terrorises-villagers-in-southafrica-rapes-5-men/

Now now DM, being drunk is not going to excuse your actions this time :pac:

D3V!L · 20-04-2017 02:29PM

They had a sudden on set cases of anal cancer ?? totally believable :pac:

andekwarhola · 20-04-2017 02:31PM

/notes username of OP

Your Face · 20-04-2017 02:34PM

Ah not again?!

Boom_Bap · 20-04-2017 02:35PM

Baboons cannot be gay. They just ride everything and anything.

D3V!L · 20-04-2017 02:36PM

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Baboons cannot be gay. They just ride everything and anything.

anyway , its only gay if you kiss :rolleyes:

DJIMI TRARORE · 20-04-2017 02:37PM

Only in AH,any word on the baboon

Chancer3001 · 20-04-2017 02:37PM

Thinly veiled 'I got laid on holidays' thread

greencap · 20-04-2017 02:38PM

The baboon is said to be approx 6ft tall with a zip on his back.

judeboy101 · 20-04-2017 02:40PM

Mugabe must be in heat

Conall Cernach · 20-04-2017 02:40PM

Doctor: "It appears you have had anal sex recently."
Man: "I was raped! By.... a.... gay....baboon.... honest."
Doctor: "You now have ass cancer."
Man: "Well, at least I got a speedy diagnosis."

hytrogen · 20-04-2017 02:41PM

Bum backla

pjohnson · 20-04-2017 02:41PM

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Ouch, Ouch, Ouch...nothing like a dose of anal cancer to ruin your weekend.

The baboon is said to have attacked more than six men in the past week and what’s baffling the villagers is the fact that the baboon only attacks guys and does not hurt it’s victims but rather performs sexual acts on top of the terrified victim and leaves.

One victim, George Chiune said he was coming from the local shebeen when the baboon attacked him and pinned him down.

“I thought it wanted to kill me but realized it was after my bum,”, George said.

Five men were admitted to hospital yesterday after experiencing acute anal pains and fatigue. Doctors confirmed the men have anal cancer.

Full story
http://zimbabwe-today.com/gay-baboon-terrorises-villagers-in-southafrica-rapes-5-men/

So when are you getting deported?

wakka12 · 20-04-2017 02:42PM

Can cancer occur that quickly? And why would a baboon cause cancer?

MarkR · 20-04-2017 02:44PM

I have to ask. What were you looking for, when you found that story?

ohnonotgmail · 20-04-2017 02:45PM

Rectum? it nearly killed them!

*I'll get me coat.

drunkmonkey · 20-04-2017 02:48PM

MarkR wrote: »

I have to ask. What were you looking for, when you found that story?

Googled eye infection.

Kimbot · 20-04-2017 02:51PM

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Googled eyeanal infection.

FYP :pac:

SEPT 23 1989 · 20-04-2017 02:51PM

is that the actual gay baboon or a stock photo of a gay baboon?

statto25 · 20-04-2017 02:52PM

Waterford whispers must have an office in Zimbabwe

Jack the Stripper · 20-04-2017 02:53PM

Some say they are related to the Healy Raes.

dinorebel · 20-04-2017 02:55PM

Planet of the Gapes?

Dublin Pintman · 20-04-2017 02:56PM

Would have thought they'd have aids rather than anal cancer.

20-04-2017 02:57PM

Possibly the most compelling thread title of all time. Possibly.

Hande hoche! · 20-04-2017 02:58PM

wakka12 wrote: »

Can cancer occur that quickly? And why would a baboon cause cancer?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHsrr0JJMbY

maudgonner · 20-04-2017 03:05PM

The choice of picture accompanying that story :eek:

Also, it appears that Zimbabwe has become acquainted with the word shebeen - take that, Anti-Irish-Language-Thread!

ohnonotgmail · 20-04-2017 03:07PM

maudgonner wrote: »

The choice of picture accompanying that story!

Also, it appears that Zimbabwe has become acquainted with the word shebeen - take that, Anti-Irish-Language-Thread!

the word is common in south africa as well, especially in the townships