Learning to drive in my 30s.

leelee77

Dravokivich wrote: »

Just gotta book in lesson 12 now myself.

Did a drive from Dublin to Kilkenny and back again the other week. (off motorways )

Really enjoying it.

That's amazing stuff. You must be so proud of yourself!

leelee77

iguana wrote: »

How old are your kids? I haven't yet driven with my 3yo in the car and I'm definitely a bit anxious about it. Firstly because I don't want him to witness the practically inevitable fighting (I vividly remember sitting in the back of the car as a child when my dad gave my mum lessons:eek:). And secondly because I think he would distract me as if he wanted my attention he'd badger me and I'm not confident enough to deal with driving while being badgered yet.

My kids are 6 & 4 and are very good at being quiet. It's my husband that's unreasonable. I hadn't gone out with him in ages as I wanted to get better before the kids were in the car but he can't behave himself.

Dravokivich

leelee77 wrote: »

That's amazing stuff. You must be so proud of yourself!

Yeah, only started driving end of April. (had permit since Nov 2015) But apart from lessons I'd also been practicing 3 / 4 times a week.

irishgirl19

Dravokivich wrote:

Just gotta book in lesson 12 now myself.

Thats great
How many lessons would you say it took you before you got the hang of if?

Dravokivich

irishgirl19 wrote: »

Thats great
How many lessons would you say it took you before you got the hang of if?

I'd say 5/6. But had done the vast bulk of them weekly upto lesson 10.

Instructor made a lot of positive comments early on. The bulk of it was purely putting time in practicing using the car off busy roads so I can concentrate on starting, gears, stopping reversing.

I'd recommend it to anyone starting off. Don't think about driving out and about in traffic at all when starting. Find somewhere to learn to use the damn thing first! After that the instructor is able to guide you better regarding observation and road position.

Kintarō Hattori

Passed in March at the ripe old age of 38 and now driving to Swords every day. Key to passing for me was finding an instructor who was calm and understanding. Also being able to practice with my partner was excellent. It was trying for our patience at times but allowed me to hone things.

Take time, don't rush, find a good instructor whom you're comfortable with and practice as much as possible.

iguana

Well I finally drove with my little guy in the car. I took us to the cinema and back a little over 3km each way. On the way there I managed to stall at traffic lights by coming up too quickly on the clutch. And I got a bit too flustered and it took me a few tries to get moving again. I managed a bit better on the way back.

bannerman2005

10 of the 12 edt lessons completed. Not getting as much practice as I would like in between. Find the clutch a little more sensitive in the car at home compared to the instructors car and seem to stall it every now and then. Its amazing how easily one little mistake can snowball and leave you flustered. Have to say much more confident in the last few weeks. Hopefully with another 4 - 5 weeks of practice and a few more lessons will be good to apply for the test.

Dravokivich

Yeah to get over that I used to "warm up" over the first few weeks. Then when in the groove I went out and drove.

I noticed a big difference in reponse between the 2 cars I've driven so far too. '04 Yaris with my Aunt and a '13 Astra with the instructor. I seem to have much more confidence in the extra weight of the Astra

Finished my 12th lesson over the weekend. So will check if it's up later and submit for a test date.

iguana

I have 10 lessons done too. Which is really weird as it means I've only been driving for a little over 5 weeks! It feels like much, much longer than that. But it's helpful to remember that it's just been a tiny length of time when I start feeling frustrated with my progress. It also means that I have only ever driven 13 times all together, including my first lesson which was mainly doing gear changes in park and a tiny bit of driving. So actually being able to drive my family to the cinema and back home again, with nothing worse than needing a few attempts to restart after stalling, is actually pretty good going considering that it's only 2 months since I passed my theory test.

Speedwell

X6.430macman wrote: »

Is there anyone that just seem good from the start and are there people that just find it really difficult to drive.

Sometimes those people are the same people. I had no difficulty learning when I was a teenager in America. But 30 years of impeccably safe driving later, I moved to Ireland and found I no longer had the same "beginner's mind". Learning to use a manual transmission gave me panic attacks. After a while I did learn it, but driving is now something I have to give conscious thought to instead of just knowing. After another year I suppose I'll find it more, um, automatic.

On the bright side, you can expect to get to a point where you train a part of your brain to do the driving for you, more or less. It does not come for a long time, but it will come.

ynul31f47k6b59

I'm 33 and I'm about to go on EDT 6. Passed my Theory Test in February and left it a while before booking lessons.

I'm so nervous beforehand I've gotten physically sick a few times, but I'll keep at it. We live down a long narrow country road so I'm petrified I'm going to meet a tractor or something will come flying round a turn but my instructor is calm and keeps going through step-by-steps for scenarious like that by telling me what I'd need to do, etc. I'm comfortable enough in his car (11 Yaris) but I can't drive ours at all (06 Ford Galaxy). The clutch has always been my issue, letting it up too quickly, and with the Galaxy it's so responsive that I nearly have to crawl.

I had great confidence built up in the Yaris then I took ours out with my husband and stalled at every junction, conked out, couldn't start it, felt like a massive idiot and that shook me for weeks. I hate our car and I dread it so I haven't been practicing at all.

I don't want to do it at all but I've 3 children and we're very rural, it's not fair to them to not be able to bring them places and it's not fair to rely on my husband for everything so I'll keep going but it's a very, very slow journey with me, definitely no expectation of being able to do a test this side of Christmas.

The main thing that helped me relax a little in the instructor car was being told that I have as much right to be on the road as anyone else and as long as I'm going at a reasonable speed in the right gear, anyone can pass me if they want, I need to stop panicking when something's behind me.

Dravokivich

Marc Shy Rationalism wrote: »

I'm comfortable enough in his car (11 Yaris) but I can't drive ours at all (06 Ford Galaxy). The clutch has always been my issue, letting it up too quickly, and with the Galaxy it's so responsive that I nearly have to crawl.

I've mentioned this in response to a few other folks here. It might be worthwhile for your husband to take you off somewhere to that isn't busy and very open. So you warm up for about 10-15 mins. Get into the groove of starting off and slowing down safely. Then going up the gears and going back down them safely. Then after 10-15 minutes go for a drive.

I've been practising and learning in 2 completely different cars, so know how odd that sensation can be at times.

bannerman2005

shanna83 wrote: »

I had great confidence built up in the Yaris then I took ours out with my husband and stalled at every junction, conked out, couldn't start it, felt like a massive idiot and that shook me for weeks. I hate our car and I dread it so I haven't been practicing at all.

I was like you also and got used to the instructors car and clutch. When I tried in the other car kept letting the clutch up too quickly and stalled.

If you live near a car park it would be worth it to just practice setting off and stopping. Getting used to where the biting point of the clutch is so that you can used to pulling off with ease.

Practice is the key and I am no one to talk but once you are comfortable driving around and gearing up and down it will improve.

L plates tend to bring the worst out in some drivers. Got overtaken the other evening just as I was about to enter a round about. The instructor was a bit pissed with the other driver. Trying to stay relaxed is tough.

ynul31f47k6b59

I had a lesson today and he took me out on a quiet road in the Galaxy, just so I could get a feel for the clutch properly and stop/start a few times. Drove home this evening from the shop with my husband and kids, first time I've done that so I think the lesson definitely helped, I keep knocking it into 4th gear instead of 2nd so if I can get out of that habit hopefully I'll have a better experience.

I hear you on L-plates - I was overtaken on the inside by a boy racer when I was in the lesson car! The instructor was livid. I really wish I had learned years ago! Hope everyone else is getting on well.

iguana

Does anyone else feel a huge difference between their nerves in the instructor's car and in their own car? I feel physically ok after a lesson but after I drive my own car my legs are like jelly for ages afterwards. I guess the knowledge that the instructor's dual control give him the power to stop me from killing anyone but when I'm in my own car, it's all on me.

Jellybaby1

My OH passed first time, in his 20's, my daughter passed first time in her 30's. I was different of course, had a few attempts before I finally passed in my 30's but I was determined to pass, maybe the tester just took pity on me but I finally got there in the end, and no I won't tell you how many tests I took. Here I am in my 60's and I love, love, love driving and refuse to give up my car even though we can barely afford to keep it going. I would encourage everyone to learn to drive, even if you can't afford to buy a car, just get the test under your belt and then start saving. Everyone should have this life skill. It is so liberating!

Edit: Everyone is nervous in the beginning. That goes away with experience.

irishgirl19

iguana wrote:

Does anyone else feel a huge difference between their nerves in the instructor's car and in their own car? I feel physically ok after a lesson but after I drive my own car my legs are like jelly for ages afterwards. I guess the knowledge that the instructor's dual control give him the power to stop me from killing anyone but when I'm in my own car, it's all on me.

Yes definitely. My hands to be sweating holding the wheel if im in my OH's car

DenMan

I’m 36 OP and after years of not driving I’ve taken the plunge and am committed to following it through and gaining my full licence. I have 10 of the 12 lessons done. The car I am doing my lessons in is a new Ford Fiesta and it is a lovely car. My instructor told me that I will be doing my test in it. She’s very direct and keeps pushing me. I like her. Initially she didn’t want me to leave the yard as I was nervous so we practiced there until the second lesson. My sixth lesson was delayed for half an hour and by the time I was halfway through the hour it was already dark so I was driving in the evening time which I really enjoyed as driving at night is one of your lessons. I am practicing with my sister’s partner in his van on Sundays.

I enjoy the van as it is a Diesel engine and a powerful vehicle. It’s the same size as a post man’s van. His van is due for a service and I hope to be back in it within a few weeks. It’s come to a point now that after years of not learning to drive I really want to do it now. I’m moving to Letterkenny in October and my aim is to have my own car by next summer. Good luck OP. I wish you the very best with your driving.

bannerman2005

DenMan wrote: »

I’m 36 OP and after years of not driving I’ve taken the plunge and am committed to following it through and gaining my full licence. I have 10 of the 12 lessons done. The car I am doing my lessons in is a new Ford Fiesta and it is a lovely car. My instructor told me that I will be doing my test in it. She’s very direct and keeps pushing me. I like her. Initially she didn’t want me to leave the yard as I was nervous so we practiced there until the second lesson. My sixth lesson was delayed for half an hour and by the time I was halfway through the hour it was already dark so I was driving in the evening time which I really enjoyed as driving at night is one of your lessons. I am practicing with my sister’s partner in his van on Sundays.

I enjoy the van as it is a Diesel engine and a powerful vehicle. It’s the same size a post man’s van. His van is due for a service and I hope to be back in it within a few weeks. It’s come to a point now that after years of not learning to drive I really want to do it now. I’m moving to Letterkenny in October and my aim is to have my own car by next summer. Good luck OP. I wish you the very best with your driving.

Best of luck Denman. I just completed lesson 11 of the 12. Really not getting as much practice as I should be. Its amazing the difference in the instructor and non instructor.

DenMan

bannerman2005 wrote: »

Best of luck Denman. I just completed lesson 11 of the 12. Really not getting as much practice as I should be. Its amazing the difference in the instructor and non instructor.

Thanks! Well done bannerman2005. My sister's partner has been a truck driver for 30 years so he knows so much and in what areas I need to work on. It's like having two instructors. Good luck in your test.

bannerman2005

DenMan wrote: »

Thanks! Well done bannerman2005. My sister's partner has been a truck driver for 30 years so he knows so much and in what areas I need to work on. It's like having two instructors. Good luck in your test.

Long way from the test. I am hoping that in the waiting time I will have sufficient time for practice. Shouldn't have waited this long but so glad thats its now underway.

Ilongga

Hi All, i registered in this forum just to join this thread. I am 34 and still struggling to drive. When I did my 12 lessons, I was living in Dublin City Centre so there was no opportunity for me to practise in between lessons as I only need to walk everywhere ( i.e work, creche, shops and etc.) My husband took me for practise a few times but it only ended in fights. Now that we have moved Northside, I am very keen to learn how to drive.

The 12 lessons I did was with an instructor I found in Dealrush. Hoping to get it cheap, I negotiated a price for all 12 lessons with him and pay it outright. Biggest and most costly mistake ever coz the man crushed and stole any confidence I had. I actually ended being terrified of driving after having lessons with him.

Now I am in quest to find a very patient instructor who knows how to deal with a terrified woman. Would really appreciate if you can PM me recommendations. Glad to have found this thread as I feel like I'm not alone with this driving dilemna.

Vel

I'm 37 and have done 6 edt lessons. I was prompted to learn following the breakdown of a relationship and needing to be able to drive my kids around. I'm finding it ok, some lessons better than others. I am anxious though at all times and only realise it when my instructor reminds me to sit back and relax.

I had only being doing the lessons without any practice in between, up to last week, when I went out with my dad for the first time. I picked a busy Friday afternoon for out first trip out together which wasn't the best idea, as I found the clutch much harder to use in his car and had a good few stalling episodes at the lights. We then went out the next morning when it was much quieter and I was a lot more comfortable.

I'm ok when I am driving around but really start to panic/worry when I have to stop and restart at lights.

I know I am nowhere near being ready to sit my test and am quite anxious about how I am going to be able to keep affording lessons, but if I I give up now I know I'll never restart so I have to stick with it no matter what.

My kids are always joking about how I can't drive and wondering if I will ever have the courage to start, so I am keeping all of this a secret from them and can't wait to surprise them when I have passed (she says optimistically!!)

irishgirl19

Had my 6th lesson the other day. Something just changed and felt a lot more confident. Drove with my boyfriend today to local shops. Previously I only felt comfortable enough to drive without the instructor in industrial estate.
I think now that I am not worried about conking out as much it has made things a lot easier. Still have alot more to learn though inc parking !

leelee77

irishgirl19 wrote: »

Had my 6th lesson the other day. Something just changed and felt a lot more confident. Drove with my boyfriend today to local shops. Previously I only felt comfortable enough to drive without the instructor in industrial estate.
I think now that I am not worried about conking out as much it has made things a lot easier. Still have alot more to learn though inc parking !

Well done! That is a huge step. Keep practising, it's the only thing that builds confidence

leelee77

Ilongga wrote: »

Hi All, i registered in this forum just to join this thread. I am 34 and still struggling to drive. When I did my 12 lessons, I was living in Dublin City Centre so there was no opportunity for me to practise in between lessons as I only need to walk everywhere ( i.e work, creche, shops and etc.) My husband took me for practise a few times but it only ended in fights. Now that we have moved Northside, I am very keen to learn how to drive.

The 12 lessons I did was with an instructor I found in Dealrush. Hoping to get it cheap, I negotiated a price for all 12 lessons with him and pay it outright. Biggest and most costly mistake ever coz the man crushed and stole any confidence I had. I actually ended being terrified of driving after having lessons with him.

Now I am in quest to find a very patient instructor who knows how to deal with a terrified woman. Would really appreciate if you can PM me recommendations. Glad to have found this thread as I feel like I'm not alone with this driving dilemna.

Hi,

I've just PM'd you. My instructor is female & I'm an anxious driver.Good luck

leelee77

Vel wrote: »

I'm 37 and have done 6 edt lessons. I was prompted to learn following the breakdown of a relationship and needing to be able to drive my kids around. I'm finding it ok, some lessons better than others. I am anxious though at all times and only realise it when my instructor reminds me to sit back and relax.

I had only being doing the lessons without any practice in between, up to last week, when I went out with my dad for the first time. I picked a busy Friday afternoon for out first trip out together which wasn't the best idea, as I found the clutch much harder to use in his car and had a good few stalling episodes at the lights. We then went out the next morning when it was much quieter and I was a lot more comfortable.

I'm ok when I am driving around but really start to panic/worry when I have to stop and restart at lights.

I know I am nowhere near being ready to sit my test and am quite anxious about how I am going to be able to keep affording lessons, but if I I give up now I know I'll never restart so I have to stick with it no matter what.

My kids are always joking about how I can't drive and wondering if I will ever have the courage to start, so I am keeping all of this a secret from them and can't wait to surprise them when I have passed (she says optimistically!!)

Well done Vel, sounds like you're doing really well. My bugbear is the hill start coming out of my estate. It's a psychological block. When I can get over that hump I'll be delighted

leelee77

How's everyone doing? I've driven 3 times this week which is good for me as I usually avoid it. Coming out of my estate & performing a hill start is still a big hurdle for me. Came out this morning & just conked once, which is a big improvement. Drove to my local Tesco & back which is only 3km away but involves negotiating 10 roundabouts for the whole trip. So lots of practice & the roads I drive are never totally quiet. The road out of my estate is a main thing one.

I do agree with everyone that it is practice, practice, practice

Vel

I had a terrible lesson on Saturday. It was really windy and rainy so instructor decided I would just do some general driving. I feel like I really regressed with the clutch when I had been improving. Felt like I was making loads of mistakes. I was even getting mixed up with my lefts and rights! Had two incidents when I stalled at the traffic lights and someone in the queue behind me beeped, which makes me even more nervous and panicky. Came away from that lesson quite disheartened but just need to suck it up and keep going.

I'm really struggling to get the practice in which I know is not helping, so need to ensure I get out with my dad again this week