Learning to drive in my 30s.

Shergar6

I'm in my 30s and after years of putting it off i have to cop on to myself and get driving. I have my theory test and am going about getting all requirements like eye test etc for my learner permit. Do you really need a doctor's cert etc too? :rolleyes: I'm so nervous about it - it was a mixture of nerves, living near work and not being able to afford a car that's taken me this long - but mainly nerves. I don't know if i will be able to do it but i have to try.

All this and i don't even know if i'm going to be able to afford a car + insurance :pac:

Are there any other drivers who learned later in life? Do instructors treat older drivers differently - expecting more or less?

Cortina_MK_IV

My sister would have been in her 40's when she started. Wanting to do something bad enough is the key. If you put aside the financial issues of ownership then treat it as a life skill and go for it.

Shergar6

Cortina_MK_IV wrote: »

My sister would have been in her 40's when she started. Wanting to do something bad enough is the key. If you put aside the financial issues of ownership then treat it as a life skill and go for it.

Yeah, i have to. Not being able to drive is really limiting my life at the moment. I think driving lessons should be mandatory in school.

pudzey101

well done on going about it insurance shoudnt be too bad for you depending on the car with your age factor they wont see you as risky as a 17-22 year old , still first time insurance prices are crazy so you just have to shop around .

Dravokivich

31, almost 32 and only recently started doing driving lessons after getting the permit back in November. Don't think it's too odd really to be doing it at this age. I was always of the opinion it was too expensive to drive, but now I'm kinda needing to do it, as public transport isn't too suitable for me anymore.

sunny2004

Fair play to you lad.. just go for it

endacl

You're in good company, OP.

bannerman2005

35 here and halfway through the EDT lessons. Really annoyed at myself for leaving it this long but now that I have started hopefully everything will be fine.

Pick a good instructor that you are comfortable with and work from there

Best of luck with it

Shergar6

Ha that's great, i think i'd still react like a 17 year old though!

Thanks for the encouragement on here, folks. I have a few people in my life who can be very condescending and dismissive about it simply because they have been driving years. They don't get that it may be nerve wracking for some.

Gatling

37 started again recently ,glad I did actually find I'm a lot more relaxed and mature about driving now especially as most of my driving will involve ferrying the family and wife around

Kash

I moved out to the back of beyond when I was 30 and had to get a driving license, or turn into a hermit

There's no two ways about it, it is nerve-wracking! At 30+ you don't have that air of invincibility you have in your teens and twenties. I'm a very confident person, and I was still worried every time I got in the car. But that fades. You will make mistakes (my car is scratched on all 4 sides!) but if you take your time, you learn from those minor mistakes.

Do find a good instructor, I went through 3 before I found one I really liked.

Best of luck, and fair play!!

Shergar6

Shergar6 wrote: »

I'm in my 30s and after years of putting it off i have to cop on to myself and get driving. I have my theory test and am going about getting all requirements like eye test etc for my learner permit. Do you really need a doctor's cert etc too? :rolleyes: I'm so nervous about it - it was a mixture of nerves, living near work and not being able to afford a car that's taken me this long - but mainly nerves. I don't know if i will be able to do it but i have to try.

All this and i don't even know if i'm going to be able to afford a car + insurance :pac:

Are there any other drivers who learned later in life? Do instructors treat older drivers differently - expecting more or less?

I lived in Dublin city centre for 12 years and never learned to drive, which was always a regret of mine and it could be a source of weird glee for some when they discovered I couldn't drive in my 30s. I finally started getting lessons at 33 but it was only when I moved away from Dublin that I fully committed to it through necessity and I just got my full license in the post the other day just eight weeks later.

What did I learn? You're going to be nervous at the start, but that's natural. My advice would be that you really have to have access to a car and to practice between lessons in order to get the full benefit of them. I did the first eight EDT lessons but didn't have any practice in between and I just got frustrated and packed it in for ages, which was not a good idea as when I did finally get back to it, I had built the whole thing up in my head to something bigger than it was.

In the end, I only got fully comfortable when I found an instructor - the third instructor I used - that suited me. He was excellent, identified the very minor mistakes I was making and corrected them immediately. Then I got insured on my partner's car and just started driving as much as I could in the evenings, making excuses to go to the shops as much as I could and then just going out of my comfort zone with spins in heavy traffic, on dual carriage ways etc. By the time I did my test - after the 12 EDT lessons and three more lessons - I was very comfortable driving and I passed at the first attempt. I was nervous in the days before the test, but I was surprisingly calm on the day itself and while I made a few daft errors, I passed comfortably.

That summary may sound like it was a breeze, but it wasn't. In the end I think I turned myself into a decent and safe driver, but for a good while I was nervous and thought I would never get to where I am now, but if you stick at it and practice as much as you can you'll get there. I found that even after I was a competent driver, the key is to stay calm at all times and not to panic. If you start over-thinking, you will make mistakes. Fall back on your routine at all times and you will be safe. And just like in that video of Dara O'Brian, if you stall at lights or in traffic don't think it's the end of the world as it happens people all the time. You'll get aggressive drivers who get kicks out of bullying learners, but just ignore them as long as you are driving safely. Also, be very wary of people who flash at you to let you out at junctions etc and never feel pressurised by anyone beeping at you at lights as when you are driving regularly, you will realise that you can only ever trust yourself on the road.

In a few months/years' time you'll look back and wonder what the fuss was, but it can be a very daunting prospect. Dive in, try and embrace it and practice as much as you can and you'll be on the road in no time. The very best of luck and safe driving.

lisatu

Well I am 29 (30 in Sept) and while I have my license since 2010 I am only doing my driving test today. I am only officially driving on the road about 4 months.

I have been petrified all along to even start learning, I had insurance on my husbands car but always made excuses to have him drive so much so he stopped adding me to the insurance.

Then in February he went out and bought me a car and my own insurance so I had no choice but to learn and it was the push I need. I have been home with the kids for 8 years both are now in school so time to get out and do something for myself if I pass today. Be it start a course or a job.

It has been the best thing I started doing so really hoping to pass and have it done for the summer and before I turn 30, it will be the best birthday gift to myself.

Get yourself a good instructor and a good sponsor to go with you and take it slowly you don't have to rush to do test as long as you are happy to have someone in the car with you until you feel ready to take it.

I can't tell you why

I've given driving lessons to people twice your ago. 30 is not old or later life ( says this 39 year old). A decent instructor treats you as a person with whatever level of ability you show.

X6.430macman

I can't tell you why wrote:

I've given driving lessons to people twice your ago. 30 is not old or later life ( says this 39 year old). A decent instructor treats you as a person with whatever level of ability you show.

Is there anyone that just seem good from the start and are there people that just find it really difficult to drive.

cantdecide

Everything depends on your approach and your attitude. Primarily, it depends on not giving in to the negative 'no one has the disadvantages I have' monologue. You must simply treat it as a challenge and learning experience and in a practical sense, you need to develop your weak areas with tailored exercises and practice and not give into the temptation to fall into a comfort zone of things that are going well.

A close friend of mine started at age 33 (held permits but never pursued learning). Last summer, he bought his first car (from me ) and after applying himself and submitting to help and advice from many sides.... failed the test in September... but passed in October

iguana

I'm 37 and have booked my first driving lesson for next week. I never needed to drive before and I just got used to thinking of myself as a non driver. It's been kind of mind blowing to genuinely realise that actually, that doesn't have to be the case.

It was a bit embarrassing when I did the theory test though, as I could very easily have been the mother of each and every other person sitting the test. In fact I'm 99% sure the woman working there assumed I was the mother of the guy who arrived at the centre at the same time as me.

^ Best of luck to you and the OP. My friend's Mother learned to drive from scratch when she was 60 after moving from Dublin to Kerry to retire. If she can do it anyone can.

stinkle

31 going on 32 and learning to drive after moving abroad - I actually really like it which is hugely surprising. By coincidence my new job means I need to drive on occasion too, which has spurred me on to sit the test soon. I never had the need or desire to learn when living in Dublin, also it just seemed like an unnecessary expense.

My driving school has paired me with different instructors due to scheduling and I find some are better than others, so do shop around if you feel you dont click with one. We dont have a car of our own, but use car sharing for me to practise and friends have been good too. Once I started practising between lessons I came on in leaps and bounds. Ive even started looking for excuses to drive to places and look forward to practise days when I previously got a bit anxious.

Agent Smith

Almost 31. Had my first propper lesson this evening.

Its.... Terrifying. Managed to get the car up to 20km and didnt hurt myself or the car or anyone.

Gotta get me a car now!

X6.430macman

Agent Smith wrote:

Its.... Terrifying. Managed to get the car up to 20km and didnt hurt myself or the car or anyone.

Haha was going faster than that as soon as I could reach the pedals

Rothmans

X6.430macman wrote: »

Haha was going faster than that as soon as I could reach the pedals

I don't think he was bragging.

X6.430macman

Rothmans wrote:

I don't think he was bragging.

Not a chance

iguana

So how are all of us oldies doing? I've done 8 EDT lessons, bought a car and paid more than twice it's value on insurance (despite my 'mature' status). However I just went out with it once with my dad who reduced me to tears by insisting I was driving in 3rd and 4th instead of 1st and 2nd when I wasn't. He eventually realised he was wrong and apologised but it has made me very wary of practicing with anyone other than my instructor. My husband works away and I don't really want to ruin the few days every so often that he's home by attempting to drive with him. However now that I've done reversing/small manoeuvres with my instructor, I'm able to practice those on my driveway when my son is in bed. And I'm also making use of a toy tractor of my son's to get my head around steering when parking in tight spots. Which sounds ridiculous, and had my husband in tears of laughter when he caught me doing it, but has actually really helped me visualise what I have to do.

Next week I'm going to brave driving with my dad again. Maybe just around an industrial estate at first, as driving in heavy traffic without dual controls would make us both nervous. And I think it's as important that the sponsored license holder is relaxed in the car, as it is for the learner, because a nervous passenger who is supposed to be helpful, is a recipe for disaster.

cantdecide

The NDLS had an applicant for first full licence aged 87 last week

Gatling

iguana wrote: »

So how are all of us oldies doing? I've done 8 EDT lessons, bought a car and paid more than twice it's value on insurance (despite my 'mature' status). However I just went out with it once with my dad who reduced me to tears by insisting I was driving in 3rd and 4th instead of 1st and 2nd when I wasn't. He eventually realised he was wrong and apologised but it has made me very wary of practicing with anyone other than my instructor. My husband works away and I don't really want to ruin the few days every so often that he's home by attempting to drive with him. However now that I've done reversing/small manoeuvres with my instructor, I'm able to practice those on my driveway when my son is in bed. And I'm also making use of a toy tractor of my son's to get my head around steering when parking in tight spots. Which sounds ridiculous, and had my husband in tears of laughter when he caught me doing it, but has actually really helped me visualise what I have to do.

Next week I'm going to brave driving with my dad again. Maybe just around an industrial estate at first, as driving in heavy traffic without dual controls would make us both nervous. And I think it's as important that the sponsored license holder is relaxed in the car, as it is for the learner, because a nervous passenger who is supposed to be helpful, is a recipe for disaster.

Heading to lesson 7 and despite a accident in the a school car a few weeks back , actually doing OK not getting out to practice much which is a worry but ,when I'm in a lesson in doing ok fairy relaxed at the wheel , smooth on the clutch and gears and managing in traffic fairy ok ,

Looks like it will be December for the test and January before I have a car and insurance

irishgirl19

I've finished my 4th lesson now. Im very very nervous. So much so that I am barely practicing between lessons. My instructor says im coming along well but I'm finding it very hard to guage the room I need either side of the car and for turns etc. Also doesn't help with impatient drivers behind. I wish I learned years ago

leelee77

I'm doing okay. Started in March and wasn't practising much in between lessons but have given up lessons for the summer as I really need to practice before I can progress. My Mam has been going out with me and she's very patient. Went out with my husband twice today and he's awful. He shouts and just focusses on what I can't do. Not ideal with two small kids in the back.

My main thing is there is a hill start coming out of my estate. I've built it up into such a big thing and conk out mostly every time. If I could master getting out of the estate I'd be grand I think. Also for practically every where I've to go there are between 1-3 roundabouts. Nerve wracking.

Keep going everyone. We can do it!

iguana

How old are your kids? I haven't yet driven with my 3yo in the car and I'm definitely a bit anxious about it. Firstly because I don't want him to witness the practically inevitable fighting (I vividly remember sitting in the back of the car as a child when my dad gave my mum lessons:eek:). And secondly because I think he would distract me as if he wanted my attention he'd badger me and I'm not confident enough to deal with driving while being badgered yet.

irishgirl19

My daughter is just coming up to 1, no one to mind her and probably one of the reasons I haven't been practicing as much. Not confident enough with her there

Dravokivich

Just gotta book in lesson 12 now myself.

Did a drive from Dublin to Kilkenny and back again the other week. (off motorways )

Really enjoying it.

leelee77

Dravokivich wrote: »

Just gotta book in lesson 12 now myself.

Did a drive from Dublin to Kilkenny and back again the other week. (off motorways )

Really enjoying it.

That's amazing stuff. You must be so proud of yourself!

leelee77

iguana wrote: »

How old are your kids? I haven't yet driven with my 3yo in the car and I'm definitely a bit anxious about it. Firstly because I don't want him to witness the practically inevitable fighting (I vividly remember sitting in the back of the car as a child when my dad gave my mum lessons:eek:). And secondly because I think he would distract me as if he wanted my attention he'd badger me and I'm not confident enough to deal with driving while being badgered yet.

My kids are 6 & 4 and are very good at being quiet. It's my husband that's unreasonable. I hadn't gone out with him in ages as I wanted to get better before the kids were in the car but he can't behave himself.

Dravokivich

leelee77 wrote: »

That's amazing stuff. You must be so proud of yourself!

Yeah, only started driving end of April. (had permit since Nov 2015) But apart from lessons I'd also been practicing 3 / 4 times a week.

irishgirl19

Dravokivich wrote:

Just gotta book in lesson 12 now myself.

Thats great
How many lessons would you say it took you before you got the hang of if?

Dravokivich

irishgirl19 wrote: »

Thats great
How many lessons would you say it took you before you got the hang of if?

I'd say 5/6. But had done the vast bulk of them weekly upto lesson 10.

Instructor made a lot of positive comments early on. The bulk of it was purely putting time in practicing using the car off busy roads so I can concentrate on starting, gears, stopping reversing.

I'd recommend it to anyone starting off. Don't think about driving out and about in traffic at all when starting. Find somewhere to learn to use the damn thing first! After that the instructor is able to guide you better regarding observation and road position.

Kintarō Hattori

Passed in March at the ripe old age of 38 and now driving to Swords every day. Key to passing for me was finding an instructor who was calm and understanding. Also being able to practice with my partner was excellent. It was trying for our patience at times but allowed me to hone things.

Take time, don't rush, find a good instructor whom you're comfortable with and practice as much as possible.

iguana

Well I finally drove with my little guy in the car. I took us to the cinema and back a little over 3km each way. On the way there I managed to stall at traffic lights by coming up too quickly on the clutch. And I got a bit too flustered and it took me a few tries to get moving again. I managed a bit better on the way back.

bannerman2005

10 of the 12 edt lessons completed. Not getting as much practice as I would like in between. Find the clutch a little more sensitive in the car at home compared to the instructors car and seem to stall it every now and then. Its amazing how easily one little mistake can snowball and leave you flustered. Have to say much more confident in the last few weeks. Hopefully with another 4 - 5 weeks of practice and a few more lessons will be good to apply for the test.

Dravokivich

Yeah to get over that I used to "warm up" over the first few weeks. Then when in the groove I went out and drove.

I noticed a big difference in reponse between the 2 cars I've driven so far too. '04 Yaris with my Aunt and a '13 Astra with the instructor. I seem to have much more confidence in the extra weight of the Astra

Finished my 12th lesson over the weekend. So will check if it's up later and submit for a test date.

iguana

I have 10 lessons done too. Which is really weird as it means I've only been driving for a little over 5 weeks! It feels like much, much longer than that. But it's helpful to remember that it's just been a tiny length of time when I start feeling frustrated with my progress. It also means that I have only ever driven 13 times all together, including my first lesson which was mainly doing gear changes in park and a tiny bit of driving. So actually being able to drive my family to the cinema and back home again, with nothing worse than needing a few attempts to restart after stalling, is actually pretty good going considering that it's only 2 months since I passed my theory test.

Speedwell

X6.430macman wrote: »

Is there anyone that just seem good from the start and are there people that just find it really difficult to drive.

Sometimes those people are the same people. I had no difficulty learning when I was a teenager in America. But 30 years of impeccably safe driving later, I moved to Ireland and found I no longer had the same "beginner's mind". Learning to use a manual transmission gave me panic attacks. After a while I did learn it, but driving is now something I have to give conscious thought to instead of just knowing. After another year I suppose I'll find it more, um, automatic.

On the bright side, you can expect to get to a point where you train a part of your brain to do the driving for you, more or less. It does not come for a long time, but it will come.

ynul31f47k6b59

I'm 33 and I'm about to go on EDT 6. Passed my Theory Test in February and left it a while before booking lessons.

I'm so nervous beforehand I've gotten physically sick a few times, but I'll keep at it. We live down a long narrow country road so I'm petrified I'm going to meet a tractor or something will come flying round a turn but my instructor is calm and keeps going through step-by-steps for scenarious like that by telling me what I'd need to do, etc. I'm comfortable enough in his car (11 Yaris) but I can't drive ours at all (06 Ford Galaxy). The clutch has always been my issue, letting it up too quickly, and with the Galaxy it's so responsive that I nearly have to crawl.

I had great confidence built up in the Yaris then I took ours out with my husband and stalled at every junction, conked out, couldn't start it, felt like a massive idiot and that shook me for weeks. I hate our car and I dread it so I haven't been practicing at all.

I don't want to do it at all but I've 3 children and we're very rural, it's not fair to them to not be able to bring them places and it's not fair to rely on my husband for everything so I'll keep going but it's a very, very slow journey with me, definitely no expectation of being able to do a test this side of Christmas.

The main thing that helped me relax a little in the instructor car was being told that I have as much right to be on the road as anyone else and as long as I'm going at a reasonable speed in the right gear, anyone can pass me if they want, I need to stop panicking when something's behind me.

Dravokivich

Marc Shy Rationalism wrote: »

I'm comfortable enough in his car (11 Yaris) but I can't drive ours at all (06 Ford Galaxy). The clutch has always been my issue, letting it up too quickly, and with the Galaxy it's so responsive that I nearly have to crawl.

I've mentioned this in response to a few other folks here. It might be worthwhile for your husband to take you off somewhere to that isn't busy and very open. So you warm up for about 10-15 mins. Get into the groove of starting off and slowing down safely. Then going up the gears and going back down them safely. Then after 10-15 minutes go for a drive.

I've been practising and learning in 2 completely different cars, so know how odd that sensation can be at times.

bannerman2005

shanna83 wrote: »

I had great confidence built up in the Yaris then I took ours out with my husband and stalled at every junction, conked out, couldn't start it, felt like a massive idiot and that shook me for weeks. I hate our car and I dread it so I haven't been practicing at all.

I was like you also and got used to the instructors car and clutch. When I tried in the other car kept letting the clutch up too quickly and stalled.

If you live near a car park it would be worth it to just practice setting off and stopping. Getting used to where the biting point of the clutch is so that you can used to pulling off with ease.

Practice is the key and I am no one to talk but once you are comfortable driving around and gearing up and down it will improve.

L plates tend to bring the worst out in some drivers. Got overtaken the other evening just as I was about to enter a round about. The instructor was a bit pissed with the other driver. Trying to stay relaxed is tough.

ynul31f47k6b59

I had a lesson today and he took me out on a quiet road in the Galaxy, just so I could get a feel for the clutch properly and stop/start a few times. Drove home this evening from the shop with my husband and kids, first time I've done that so I think the lesson definitely helped, I keep knocking it into 4th gear instead of 2nd so if I can get out of that habit hopefully I'll have a better experience.

I hear you on L-plates - I was overtaken on the inside by a boy racer when I was in the lesson car! The instructor was livid. I really wish I had learned years ago! Hope everyone else is getting on well.

iguana

Does anyone else feel a huge difference between their nerves in the instructor's car and in their own car? I feel physically ok after a lesson but after I drive my own car my legs are like jelly for ages afterwards. I guess the knowledge that the instructor's dual control give him the power to stop me from killing anyone but when I'm in my own car, it's all on me.

Jellybaby1

My OH passed first time, in his 20's, my daughter passed first time in her 30's. I was different of course, had a few attempts before I finally passed in my 30's but I was determined to pass, maybe the tester just took pity on me but I finally got there in the end, and no I won't tell you how many tests I took. Here I am in my 60's and I love, love, love driving and refuse to give up my car even though we can barely afford to keep it going. I would encourage everyone to learn to drive, even if you can't afford to buy a car, just get the test under your belt and then start saving. Everyone should have this life skill. It is so liberating!

Edit: Everyone is nervous in the beginning. That goes away with experience.

irishgirl19

iguana wrote:

Does anyone else feel a huge difference between their nerves in the instructor's car and in their own car? I feel physically ok after a lesson but after I drive my own car my legs are like jelly for ages afterwards. I guess the knowledge that the instructor's dual control give him the power to stop me from killing anyone but when I'm in my own car, it's all on me.

Yes definitely. My hands to be sweating holding the wheel if im in my OH's car

DenMan

I’m 36 OP and after years of not driving I’ve taken the plunge and am committed to following it through and gaining my full licence. I have 10 of the 12 lessons done. The car I am doing my lessons in is a new Ford Fiesta and it is a lovely car. My instructor told me that I will be doing my test in it. She’s very direct and keeps pushing me. I like her. Initially she didn’t want me to leave the yard as I was nervous so we practiced there until the second lesson. My sixth lesson was delayed for half an hour and by the time I was halfway through the hour it was already dark so I was driving in the evening time which I really enjoyed as driving at night is one of your lessons. I am practicing with my sister’s partner in his van on Sundays.

I enjoy the van as it is a Diesel engine and a powerful vehicle. It’s the same size as a post man’s van. His van is due for a service and I hope to be back in it within a few weeks. It’s come to a point now that after years of not learning to drive I really want to do it now. I’m moving to Letterkenny in October and my aim is to have my own car by next summer. Good luck OP. I wish you the very best with your driving.

bannerman2005

DenMan wrote: »

I’m 36 OP and after years of not driving I’ve taken the plunge and am committed to following it through and gaining my full licence. I have 10 of the 12 lessons done. The car I am doing my lessons in is a new Ford Fiesta and it is a lovely car. My instructor told me that I will be doing my test in it. She’s very direct and keeps pushing me. I like her. Initially she didn’t want me to leave the yard as I was nervous so we practiced there until the second lesson. My sixth lesson was delayed for half an hour and by the time I was halfway through the hour it was already dark so I was driving in the evening time which I really enjoyed as driving at night is one of your lessons. I am practicing with my sister’s partner in his van on Sundays.

I enjoy the van as it is a Diesel engine and a powerful vehicle. It’s the same size a post man’s van. His van is due for a service and I hope to be back in it within a few weeks. It’s come to a point now that after years of not learning to drive I really want to do it now. I’m moving to Letterkenny in October and my aim is to have my own car by next summer. Good luck OP. I wish you the very best with your driving.

Best of luck Denman. I just completed lesson 11 of the 12. Really not getting as much practice as I should be. Its amazing the difference in the instructor and non instructor.