Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Graces7

My issues with this are seasonal . As part of the complexities of CFS/ME. This year it hit suddenly and hard and is taking me time to adjust.

And most physical activities are very limited. So mood is affected. That awareness is what helps most of course,,,

Reduced already to mostly abed in comfort, knitting for sale, and walking the house etc every hour or so... And as far as the gate to gaze at the ocean.

Each is different and has different methods.

One More Toy

Mods delete if inappropriate

Does anyone use cbd? If so, where is the best/cheapest place to get it? Tia

Gremlinertia

I've tried it for a while but no good to me anyway, didn't help with physical or mental illness. I got it from a so called head shop, discussed at length what strength etc to go for. Gave it two full months, I wish you luck, it seems very helpful to those it works for.

When I find myself thinking very negatively I often turn to satire (I’m creative) but that means posting on social media and occasionally getting roped into the spirals of “I know better than you”.

I break down social media into the the following idioms:

Instagram & Facebook: look at me, what a fantastic life I have.

Linkedin: Look how qualified & great I am & I’m earning a fortune.

Twitter & Boards: My opinion is more correct than your opinion.

I often find I have to laugh at my own behaviour on these platforms too, to keep some sort of perspective.

One More Toy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119761722#Comment_119761722

Thanks Grem, sorry it didn't work out. I'm desperate right now and exploring all avenues to get a night's sleep

RabbleRouser2k

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119761567#Comment_119761567

Used it for certain things, to help me sleep and whatever. Have used it on pets too, when they've had a sprain or pulled something. Seen noticable improvement.

You can get it in a tincture (similar to lavender or any drops) or from a vape shop. It has helped me with sleep, tho I haven't used it in while.

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119761792#Comment_119761792

Try lemon balm? I use the leaves in summer and it eases stress gently for me, allowing sleep. I have a larg e plant but you can get it from the usual kind of shops. (I rather enjoy nibbling leaves!) .

Gremlinertia

Really feeling it here the last few days, desperate, teary, useless. Nothing prompted it, just a thing that overcomes me on occasion

nothing

Totally understand that, sometimes it can wash over me unexpectedly, and I just have to try not to drown until it passes. If I had a good coping mechanism, I'd definitely share it.

Sending virtual hugs.

RabbleRouser2k

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119789630#Comment_119789630

It's strange, I can get that too- just this feeling of complete and utter loss. Like you're almost 'mourning' someone, or something, and it's inexplicable.

Try and just do something for yourself. Even if it's just sitting down for an hour and doing nothing.

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119761567#Comment_119761567

Have a look at Holland and Barrett? I have a full bottle here; maybe I will give it another try..

Deja Boo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119789510#Comment_119789510

I am sorry you are enduring such intense negative feelings. (((hugs))) Surely the short winter days and rain doesn't encourage positivity.

May it pass quickly for you Grem, and not come back anytime soon! The "mean reds" (from a movie) or purple funk, or whatever you call it - get thee away from grem! :D

and p.s. -- clearly feelings aren't facts, because useless is not a word anyone could ever attribute to you, missus.

Graces7

When it was bad I would look at the clook and say, in half an hour it will be better. Often conncted that with a TV programme,,, it always WAS better. I think it was because I was limiting its power? If that makes sense - and yes it does.

It is never like that now. Interesting. Maybe that is why. Taking control amd allowing it a limted time... THUS FAR AND NO FURTHER works. And knowing it will end.

SuperBowserWorld

Off work today and just crashing with a rotten low mood as I don't have work to occupy me. How crap is that?

I have valid reasons for this.

Hoping to see a counsellor next week. I have been this way, constantly getting worse for years now.

I fear I've left it too late and wasted my life. I blame the whole suffering mindset and dumb ruled of our catholic culture that I did not sort out my problems when I could.

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119803998#Comment_119803998

I can relate to how you are feeling tight now. Hope you get the counselling sorted soon and can start unravelling the emotional knots.

In a state of suspended animation here. Numb,with anxiety balled up, crunched down and a lid rammed on top. Not sure what's gonna happen first; the other shoe dropping or the lid blowing off the anxiety pressure cooker. Crying a bit, too.

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119804089#Comment_119804089

Yep, it's an awful state to be in. I have today off and I'm mentally torturing myself here. I can't even relax without beating myself up.

Graces7

The last few posters... Wondering re the timing as my old enemy SAD has me floored to extremes. I am really struggling physically and emotionally in addition to the CFS/ME

Look it up? The scientific aspects. Not only the shortening of daylight byt the actual quality and intensity of the light, the "lux". It makes infinite sense. Hibernation mode. Even bears get very dark and down.. bit

I went way downhill when I lived in Orkney which is far far north and it fitted. One year we had no sunshine AT ALL, Week after week of heavy cloud. And GPs were handing out anti-ds,,, Nothing grew in the gardens. Depression hit hard.

I researched and recognised! Bought an SAD lamp but the ME means bright light is out, Gave it to a neighbour...

It is an insidious condition that mimics depression and causes emotional disturbances and despair.

But just knowing what it was helped and I found a smaller lamp with a daylight bulb that did help.

I was fine three weeks ago. Now getting out of bed is a challenge and mood is badly affected. But I KNOW that this is largely seasonal ..oh and the craving for sweet stuff... This is not coincidental and I only realised today and reading this thread that my old enemy is here. I never expect it!

Thank you as I couldl have written some of these posts myself..

Dreading the weeks ahead but we will get through it.. And I am blessed as I have no outside commitments, being a pensioner...

Read up on it? Oh I used 5HTP to good effect for a while. Anything that helps at all.. Lemon balm,, lavender oil

Now old age is adding its burden and I am struggling as the days shorten. Mentally emotionally, physically. I HAVE to keep mobile .. nearly 80 years old... Far far worse then even a week ago.

We deserve all the awareness and knowlledge we can get. I never had counselling as it was never available and it just never appealed as my main health issue is the CFS/ME misdiagnosed for three decades...and now I am abed most of each day and at peace with that.. but have one excellent friend. And a deep faith.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119803998#Comment_119803998

Sorry to hear like you feel you have wasted your time or your life. That's a hard feeling to live with.

The worst part of that feeling is it makes us waste even more. Every moment - even just a second or a minute - that we spend in that feeling is actually a moment wasted. But it pulls you in and says "come to me" and makes you waste even more time beside it.

The way I think about it for myself: The past is the past. You have neither wasted it nor used it. It is just that time that amalgamated to make the you that is here today. The time in the past was neither wasted nor used. It just was.

The only time you can actually use, waste, give, gift, fill, empty or anything else - is the time before you. The choice is yours whether you get to use that time - or that past can take it.

I'm a naturally jealous person. What's mine is mine. The past ain't having it. Whatever time I have left in this world is mine and mine alone. The past can F off. It's not getting one second of it.

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119808519#Comment_119808519

Thanks for that support - I really appreciate it.

Sigyn

Hi,

I am new here. I am currently in Effexor withdrawal (mid-50s, on them for past six years due to external circumstances, took 225mg once a day). I've been thinking about coming off them for at least a year now and finally decided to to take the plunge. It's going to be two week this coming Monday since I took the last one. Despite tapering them off as directed I had some horrendous withdrawal symptoms the first week, extremely vivid nightmares that were paralysing, brain zaps like you wouldn't believe, strange sensations on my skin, "sea legs". No nausea or headaches, though. Now it's down to slight brain zaps, vivid dreams (but not nightmares). I have also noticed that I tear up for no reason and am quite irritable, too.

I am not looking for medical advice, I've got my GP for that. I am looking for people who went through the same regarding stopping. How did you do? How long until you felt "alive" again? Did you relapse? Stayed off them? Anything really just to show me I am not the only one. Thanks in advance!

Gremlinertia

I've changed meds a few times by tapering off one before trying another and it's no picnic but sounds like you are through the worst of it.. I'd expect brain zaps and some mood swings (for want of a better term) for another two weeks or so but less difficult to cope with.. Hope it works out for you, sounds like you've a decent relationship with your GP, that's a major, major help..

6480

I am dealing with bad depression for last number of months

I tried consilling and I didn't work out

I ended up blaming alot of stuff on my partner

I eventually got an appointment with my GP and have started on anti depression tablets

Now my partner wants to break up because he has had enough of me

Gremlinertia

That's awfully rough, sorry to hear it.. Stay the course it's not easy but there's always this thread and hopefully the medication will help you.

SuperBowserWorld

Had my first appointment with a psychotherapist last week. Was ok. Good to start I guess. Really I've a ton of issues that I need to work through.

Every minute feels like I've am about to sit an exam. Crazy anxiety. I haven't been taking any stimulants. It's just all the problems at the moment. I can take a break from them, but there are no easy solutions to them.

nothing

Stick with it 6480 and hopefully it will get better. Might be worth looking into counselling again down the line, can sometimes take time to find the right one for you.

Sorry to hear that Bowser, it can be very overwhelming when it piles up on you, hopefully the psychotherapy will help you to cope.

I finally got onto the psychologist waiting list on my mental health team, after 3 years of requesting it after the last psychologist left and signed me off, despite asking her to wait list me for her replacement. Battling for what I need from the system is sometimes worse than battling the illness.

Gremlinertia

On the couch. Pain and depression so on the couch with hot water bottles feeling sorry for myself.. Tough session with psychologist earlier too.

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119851798#Comment_119851798

Ouch, Grem. Perfectly okay to lick your wounds if the session opened a few up. Hugs

I'm still up because I'm avoiding going to sleep because I'm avoiding waking up, if ya get me?

Gremlinertia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119851807#Comment_119851807

Understand that so totally, I often stay up way longer than I should, then when I go to bed getting me back out of it is some job too.

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119851811#Comment_119851811

Got a feeling tomorrow will be like that for me. Gonna head into bed now, though, seeing as I've identified self destructive behaviour, to continue to engage in it is just stupid and apparently I'm a grown-up. Be nice and kind to yourself, give yourself some "hugs", Grem.

Gremlinertia

Mind yourself Sardi, chat soon *hugs*