Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Gremlinertia

I'm working really hard with my psych on rumination and tricky thinking, it's, it's such an elemental part of my thought system i dunno will i ever rewire it but hopefully i can dull the effect of it in time..

Deja Boo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119985913#Comment_119985913

Sounds like a good plan, Grem. Well done for putting in the work.

lol, my phone counselor has me listening to random you tube relaxation videos, not exactly a long term fix :/

Gremlinertia

I'm doing a few meditations, they really are such an individual thing. Most of them engage my imagination too much to be useful and there are so, so many of them out there to try.

RabbleRouser2k

The weather is really wreaking havoc on us, isn't it?

It's definitely making travel very treacherous. Also, I can't speak for anyone else, but this time of year strains, sprains and muscle pains always spring up. Have done for my whole life, even as a teen. Always found it easy to pull a muscle or pick up some niggling pain that doesn't get lost until the temps get warmer. Oh, and where I got my wisdom teeth taken out, when temperatures get even colder, that can flare up really badly.

I'm helping take care of someone who's had an old rib injury flare up. (They fractured it years and years ago, but in really cold weather, it can cause pain. And I think this freeze caught them off guard). Trying to arrange a doctor's appointment because they may need some pain relief medication.

And I'm doing an 'assignment' if one calls it that for my therapist. It's writing a letter, specifically to a loved one who's passed on... and it's like fighting a prize fighter who's happy to keep seeing me bleed. And who jumps out of the woodwork at random points and starts pummeling me. I've been writing all the things I wanted to say, but never got to. Apologizing, thanking them. Woke up today and just felt 'on edge' and anxious. Similar feeling to mixing alcohol and medication (which I definitely did not do). It's reopening wounds and scabbing them, then scraping them open again.

Deja Boo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119985971#Comment_119985971

Mine too, lol! My imagination or my analytical thinking gets activated, and I am no longer focus on what is said in the moment.

Graces7

,...

SuperBowserWorld

Feeling pretty bad today.

Just one problem after the next.

Afraid to do anything.

It's nuts.

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119987883#Comment_119987883

Old wisdom.. " This too shall pass." And it will..

Sardonicat

Very low. Awful, tragic life circumstances compounded by the most extreme selfishness, lies and manipulations of family members and others too. I don't feel I can escape it anywhere, even here. I hate life at the moment. I feel so powerless.

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120007128#Comment_120007128

Yep. I think a person needs at least a month away from all the problems, away from everything, just to get back to an even keel. Then lots more time to find a way forward.

SuperBowserWorld

Also dreading most days here. Going to take it really easy over xmas and avoid a lot of stressful situations where I can.

Deja Boo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120015444#Comment_120015444

Sounds like a good plan :) SuperBowserWorld.

Can't say I am able to get any peace staying "home" with the constant loud neighbour noises invading my space, day and night. My kingdom for a bit of peace!

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120015488#Comment_120015488

Constant noise would drive you to despair. Foam ear plugs are good and cheap and might help a bit.

I'm dog walking and slow drinking Guinness over Christmas in quiet pubs. I never do the latter, but this year I'm not hanging around the house and just going to get out when I can.

I know if I stay at home I will just go crazy and burn myself out.

I might even bring the dog to the pub if the weather is nice and we can sit outside. 🐕

Note: not advocating alcohol here, just a few pints , bring the kindle , just get the hell out of the house. 🤞

SuperBowserWorld

Dreading Christmas to be honest. Pretending everything is ok and wonderful when it's not. I think that's the hardest part.

Going to try to be patient, kind, keep my mouth shut. Get out of the house as much as I can. Exercise. Fresh air. Few pints. Stay off/away from crap food, bad news, bad internet.

Deja Boo

I am too worn mentally, lacking any motivation to get even the important life-stuff handled before Christmas.

Christmas day has never been anything special, just another day with more sad undertones than cheer (as an ending to the season). Nice to have a day off though (please Gawd). The season leading up to it was always the part I liked, altho even that's been pretty meh (for me) the past decade or so... the season seems to slip away too quick and easily, almost unknowingly ...My Christmases (as of late) remind me of that song "Where are you Christmas?"

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120015488#Comment_120015488

Ah that is truly appalling! Been there many times. Sheer unadulterated hell.. I don;t know the details of this? But good ear plugs may help? I use Quies wax when the wind shouts. Roll them in fingers until they soften.. Then they will mould to ears beautifully and effectively. Noise sensitivty is heightend by the ME/ CFS

I am finally in a peaceful place as far as neighbours go. Nearest are five fields away and while I made a ruckus years ago re their dog barking all night now they curb that.

Also I now understand that the anxiety etc are intensified by this illness it gets easier to accept and deal with.. NB as opposed to being a sympton.. The GP who opined that ME is partly mental illness way back in the UK was the final straw after 30 years of misdiagnosed illness.. I left the country! Now when the fears start I.. " let time pass" as in " this too shall pass". Easy for me as I am abed a lot now so I snuggle . knit, and watch old series on youtube.. let the inner terrors do their worst as my pile of gloves to sell grows. any physical illness will intensify senses

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016874#Comment_120016874

Being totally alone in the world and all but housebound, .. and without the health etc to join in anything... It took me literally decades but I am tranquil and at peace. I enjoy the cooking, the decorations, the Crib most of all. Being a life-long deeply committed Christian, the season is filled with Jesus. Every year it starts for me with the Nine Lessons and Carols from Kings College at Three pm on the Eve. I know the readings by heart.. And having greatly exceeded my three score years and ten I am deeply thankful to be here this year. Today I am weary beyond measure and stumbling around!. lol.. that is normal. And easy to cope with.

Gremlinertia

Hope all here are holding together ok, i'm around as always in the middle of the night all over new year

Deja Boo

It was nice (even though I didn't fully appreciate it at the time) to have a day of relative peace, thank you Christmas.

Suddenly back to the grind, I notice how overly stressful it all is. Does the world exist on heightened adrenaline, I wonder.

Gremlinertia

I wouldn't choose not to work altogether, but there is this constant false sense of urgency to things..

Deja Boo

You express things so well Gremlin, I couldnt've said it better - "false sense of urgency" placed on every little thing it seems.

SuperBowserWorld

It's a drama created by consumerism and advertising to make you feel inadequate and that you need to work harder, do more, buy more, consume more ... to be happy or to be loved. So, everyone is in this crazy competition competing against each other...

Anyway, best to stop and watch it and your thoughts when these feelings arise.

Graces7

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120037142#Comment_120037142

My illness was very kind and efficient in separating me off from al that. Being labelled " invalid" in all senses gives a freedom. It took me a while to cut out the " competitive" thinking that as you rightly say is drummed into us. But the freedom is ... wondrous.

RabbleRouser2k

As the year draws to an end, and I'm typing this in the early hours of New Years Day, I can't help but feel morose. I made sure to stay sober tonight. Had a drink or two last night, but opted to not drink tonight. Stayed in, watched Glass Onion on Netflix. Wanted to be with loved ones rather than out with strangers.

2022 done been a battle. Physically, emotionally, it just all felt like a long, long wave of dread. From the beginning of the year, until the end, I had stuff just thrown at me. And I never felt as useless in my life as I did this year. Never felt so powerless.

The losses this year, have been pretty big. I feel it in my body sometimes, with a reaction that sort of leaps out at me. Still can't watch a movie or any piece of media with a dog in it. Much less one that has an animal die or get mistreated. Even when I know it's fictional, it hits too hard to home.

And yet, when I step back a bit, I feel grateful too. I'm grateful for the people in my life. I'm grateful for the help. For people's patience. For the animal's who can bring so much joy. For being able to vent, online, and still maintain an element of anonymity.

I just want things to be a little easier. Hoping 2023 brings some amount of relief. And that I feel like less of a screw-up for the most part.

Meeoow

So far, the new year has been cráp for me. Family issues already. 😔

Deja Boo

...

Graces7

@Graces7 the issues you speak of, including possible intervention by authorities, aren't suitable for the LTI forum unfortunately, post removed

Grem

RabbleRouser2k

In recent times, I've subscribed to Chinese New Years, rather than regular New Year. I know it sounds bizarre, but I know someone who grew up in the East. Very much educated me on the whole New Years tradition over there.

Chinese New Year is sort of great for ditching the 'norms' and allowing yourself leeway. At least for me, anyways.

SuperBowserWorld

I'm a big ball of anxiety today.

Just having to face all the issues I've been deferring again and go back to work tomorrow.

Going to try and cut out a load of crap from my life this year and face my real problems.

Gremlinertia

It's that time of year when lots of us tend to evaluate which turns into negative rumination, having a right dose of it here to be honest.. Anyway the one thing i can share is don't plan an entire new year upheaval of things, i've set myself up for failure like that more times than i care to remember.. Gentle changes, baby steps as they say.