Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118468037#Comment_118468037

im based in the south east, so any recommendations i have wouldnt be practical for you, my own doctor isnt too bad in regards mental health issues, good docs do exist, hopefully people here can steer you in the right direction

Slick666

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118468751#Comment_118468751

I’m actually from the south east too ( begins with a W lol ) but live in Dublin. Ya I hope to find a doctor that listens to what I want and not give me what they perceive I need. If I find some miracle drug I’ll let you know. Such a pity that Bup is not in Ireland but there must be something similar.

SuperBowserWorld

Weekends are the worst for me. I'm sitting freaking out about things or avoiding them instead of getting things done. I have some big personal and family problems that can't be fixed and are causing too much anxiety. And I'm feeling so depressed all the time. Watched a movie last night; which was the first I could watch from start to end in a long time. I'm going to try and write out all my to dos big and small tonight and break them down into baby steps. But there is no joy in anything. It's all work and problems and no light, nothing to look forward to. I took a stupid path because of the culture I grew up in. I wish I'd considered things rationally. I still can't make rational decisions. It's like my mind has been stolen from me.

RabbleRouser2k

(Took me a while to post this, made some edits, so this might be a bit sloppy, just because I've re-read and re-typed it)

To be honest, it was a very difficult Christmas. I felt a real disconnect with my family. To be honest, I think it was very much me. That caused the disconnect, I mean.

There was a local figure, popular in my home town, who passed away before the holiday. It put a shadow over things. Then a friend of my brother's lost an aunt Xmas Eve.

Christmas day felt very... downbeat. My mum and brother decided to eat without me. Usually we always eat together. They wait for me. But they were hungry, so ploughed ahead. I was very anxious the whole of Christmas Day, and I felt very downcast. St Stephens Day, I woke up late, about 11.30 pm. I was pretty anxious from the day before. MY brother told me that my mum wanted us to eat together... but it all felt... I dunno. It's hard to put into words. I just, I felt like there's one major day to be together... and the rest is just bonus, or something.

I know this sounds like whining-many families weren't able to be together because of Covid. (I know of a few who were close contacts, who couldn't come home for the holidays). I just felt very... distant. Maybe I'd been ignoring it. Possibly.

Since then... my sleep pattern's been more erratic than ever. My eating habits have been even worse. I sometimes skip meals. Eat a breakfast, and have no mind for anything else. I've dropped weight, not a lot, but some. Generally just feel... disinterested in everything, really. Can go for two days of being up, and then the third day I may stay in bed for 24 hours or so. Trying to see if vitamins might help me out a bit. In addition to the meds I'm taking. Trying to sign up for online therapy as well. Local therapists are still unavailable because of Covid.

Mister_Happy

SuperBowserWorld that sounds pretty tough. Weekends can indeed be tough. The great thing is your plan to write your to-do list down. It will be fab to get everything out of your head and see it on paper & as you say take baby steps and chip away at each 1. It’s really tough to do anything at all when there is zero motivation but even starting that list is something & action breeds motivation and getting things done even if they are small things.

RabbleRouser, your post wasn’t sloppy at all, perfectly put together & def not whiny. That sounded like a pretty tough Christmas so no wonder there was some anxiety there. Keep at the meds & that’s great that you are checking online therapy. 2 days good is a whole lot better than good days. I hope things start to work out for you and the coming days are better.

apache

How long should one do therapy? I'm at a bit of a loss. Being doing it now for a number of years and it has helped greatly but I feel a bit stuck now. I think I might take a break. Maybe I need to reassess things.

One More Toy

I'm really at the end of my tether.

I go to the psych, they tell me to go to the gp

I go to the gp, they tell me to go to the psych

SuperBowserWorld

I'm not beating myself up mentally anymore about everything.

If it's worth it, I'll make a note to improve in the future. But I'm always at it and I'm the same to family, criticising etc.

From now on I'm going to quietly make suggestions for improvement, if it makes sense, next time to me and to family. Otherwise I'm shutting up.

Used to "work" for short bursts for me to get things done but it just causes a lot of anxiety and depression and stress.

eyeheartcapybara

I went for a walk the other day. I love the winter sun and the light it gives to nature. Felt so good afterwards. I wish I had the enthusiasm/energy/motivation to go outside more often.

hope everyone is ok. January can be a rough month.

apache

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118496019#Comment_118496019

Why is your Psychiatrist telling you to go to your GP? He should be dealing with the issue. Or maybe it's a Psychologist you're talking about?

One More Toy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118499066#Comment_118499066

Nope psychiatrist, specifically told to go to my GP if I've any problems in between psych appointments

apache

That's awful. Are you public? Can you change to someone else? How often do you see them? Your GP is not gonna interfere with whatever the Psychiatrist is prescribing. That's a given. Poor effort from your psychiatrist.

But I suppose that's what the public system is like. I've been waiting 4 months so far for an appointment. I'm so used to the private cover that this is all a shock to the system changing from private to public.

One More Toy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118499544#Comment_118499544

I'm public unfortunately. My insurance wouldn't cover a private psych fully. I'm seeing them monthly now at this stage

It was a young registrar I saw last and he was a cockly little.... Hated his attitude. Usually I've nothing bad to say about them but he really pissed me off

RabbleRouser2k

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118500006#Comment_118500006

Public always gives you the trainees-they're just this stuff themselves. It's brutal. It's why I mostly go private. I've had one reallly horrific Private counsellor. But I've had too many public ones who I wouldn't rate too well.

bejeezus

Hi all. Can I join in ? I have an anxiety disorder and mild depression. Just wondering does anyone find self help books useful?? I mean books that are well written by professionals. I’m reading why has nobody told me this before by dr Julie smith and a whole new plan for living by prof Jim lucey. The first book is in bite size pieces and is so useful for people who find it hard to concentrate.

apache

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118504006#Comment_118504006

Is it really that bad? I haven't been near the public for the last 15 years. Thought it would have improved. Guess not. That's unfortunate.

Hi bejezus, I found Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman very good. I haven't really been able to read or concentrate in years but I might try rereading that.

SamStonesArm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118466308#Comment_118466308

I'm the same as you. Absolutely no interest at all , I must get onto my doctor and see what the craic is.

bejeezus

Hi Apache . Hi all. Does anyone find it hard to relate to others, and that anxiety and depression muddles it further? Is all life is is constant bitching and undermining? If so, I can’t keep up . Ps , sorry for all the self pity, I just feel crap!

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118513405#Comment_118513405

Anxiety and depression muddles everything and makes regular life harder. So don't judge or berate yourself because of it. Also a lot of people are in the same boat, and/or have many things to deal with. We live in stressful times.

bejeezus

Just a thanks. It’s nice to have another’s perspective on things. I do berate myself a lot and it doesn’t seem to be working.

Gremlinertia

The inner critic is one of my biggest problems, am engaged with a hse psychologist and we're exploring that among other things.. It's fascinating and frightening in equal measure.

Rose27588

Does anyone else feel alienated from friends and family? At the start when I split with my fiancé one year ago people were great, going out for drives with friends but now it’s like nobody wants to be around me because I’m so depressed, when I talk about my feelings I feel like they ignore and avoid it. I understand it’s hard dealing with someone who is depressed but I feel so so lonely and I don’t think I want to exist any more. I’ve given up after three different anti-depressants and not getting anywhere with counseling

bejeezus

Yeah, it can be really hard to connect when you have depression, Rose. It’s like depression gives you a thin skin or vulnerability that others aren’t so attracted to. Does that make any sense? That’s how it is for me anyhow. Maybe if you could really get comfortable on your own company, where you try to be as self compassionate with inner voice as possible and then venture out? Just a suggestion. I don’t know how to Silence that inner voice or vulnerability myself but it’s worth trying??

bejeezus

I also found counselling a little pointless but I think it’s about finding the right therapist

RabbleRouser2k

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118507871#Comment_118507871

For me it was terrible. Like, genuinely terrible. Went to one psych who just met me, and within ten minutes prescribed Effexor. Effexor is for a condition not related to my own. It f**ked me up so badly, I had to go off of it. It really did a number on me. I stopped taking it, went back on my previous meds, which I'd be doing pretty well on. He also told me 'Get a girlfriend'... that that would help me out. Not bringing anyone else into my mental health minefield.

Another started getting seriously nosy into my private life. My friend has experience with those two as well, and one of them nearly killed him (completely wrong meds, similar to myself). My friend is bi-polar, and he can't mess around with the wrong meds. I tend to know when he's got the wrong meds, he starts talking silly, flights of fancy stuff. He had to go into hospital until they sorted out the meds.

Then you get handed over to trainees, but you only get a few sessions. And it's often not the amount of sessions you may need. But they're often in way over their head, and so you just think 'fine'. Then seek private help.

apache

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118514396#Comment_118514396

That is terrible. The private has it's flaws too. I've been treated for bipolar for the last 6 years and on a tonne of medication. Misdiagnosis, don't have it. Coming slowly down off that medication. Got away from that professor but I can't find a private psychiatrist to take me on because I have drug addiction issues. Yeah I'm on 2 dopamine blockers and I can't even get high lol. Apparently once addiction is in the picture you are referred to public. It took a €250 video call to tell me that!

So I'm left frustrated. I'm waiting 4 months now for this public appointment.I have stopped seeing my counselor because I felt I was getting too attached to him. I've been seeing him for years. I feel a loss.

Baddabing1

Hi all, I have been suffering from anxiety and depression for years now and feel I am clinging on by my fingernails now. I have made an appointment with a doctor but was wondering how easy it is to get medication on a first appointment. I had counselling years ago and it only made me worse, really feel like I need something like prozac to pick me up before pursuing further treatment. I am terrified that the appointment with the doctor is going to be a waste of time.

bejeezus

Hi Baddabing 1, they will give you medication if you need it, and it sounds like you do need something to help regulate your mood. I also have anxiety, GAD, and I’m on pregabalin which has really helped with panic attacks. Hope all gets sorted for you

ps counselling is so arbitrary. It depends on your connection with the counsellor, how well you are etc

Baddabing1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118532023#Comment_118532023

Thanks bejeezus for replying. I hope you are correct and I get something, really can't go on like this anymore. Feel like I am on the edge of the cliff now. The doctor I am going to see is not my regular GP, just someone I could get an appointment with ASAP. Don't really want to go to my own GP as I don't think he would give me anything.

bejeezus

Really hope you do. Meds aren’t the be all and end all but they can really take the edge off acute anxiety and depression. They might suggest you see the psychiatrist too. I would take the offer. I stalled there for years and the depression wasn’t under control as a result.