Why is not wanting children still a bit of a taboo?

Ms2011

I've a 14 month old with Chicken Pox atm who is tired, grumpy & itchy.....God I can understand why people choose not to have kids:o

fatknacker

"Babies are great, fatknacker...you SHOULD have one!"

Said one of my close friends to me recently.

Unfortunately I bit my tongue when about to reply "I'd be afraid if having one would turn me into one of those arseholes who tells their single friends they should have children"

mayobumblebee

One of my very best friends is a proper Irish mammy she is very young for it but she loves it and I can't imagine her any other way. I've never questioned her want to be a Mammy it was in her bones as not being one was in mine. My wonderful husband was told on our third date that I never wanted children. Each to their own

R.D. aka MR.D

Just saw this, this morning:
http://www.irishtimes.com/news/consumer/you-want-two-children-that-ll-be-500-000-please-1.2754454

While I don't think that it's very accurate because growing up, I never had a lot of these things so I don't think they are necessary. I think there are two interesting points.

First, whoohoo for us childfree couples! The article even says single childfree people are better off. :P

Secondly, he just had to add that 'it's worth every cent' at the end. Made me chuckle.

Gatica

Interesting breakdown of cost. In point 1 I must say though it doesn't take into account other medical costs of being pregnant. Pregnancy can bring a whole host of symptoms and issues and not all will be covered by HSE or will be timely, so one's likely to spend own money for physio, massages/acupuncture and the like, maternity clothing, over-the-counter and prescription meds and of course the usual range of vitamins. That's not even taking into account the cost of fertilisation and testing should people have difficulty conceiving.

meeeeh

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

Just saw this, this morning:
http://www.irishtimes.com/news/consumer/you-want-two-children-that-ll-be-500-000-please-1.2754454

While I don't think that it's very accurate because growing up, I never had a lot of these things so I don't think they are necessary. I think there are two interesting points.

First, whoohoo for us childfree couples! The article even says single childfree people are better off. :P

But you wouldn't go to someone who was unsuccessfully trying for a child and say 'cheer up Love, you just saved half a million.' In the same way as you wouldn't say to someone who is just out of a miserable relationship: 'well your car insurance cost will go up now'. While it's completely decent article considering even Isis went on holidays lately and you need some content, life really isn't about totting up the euros.

Pat Mustard

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

Just saw this, this morning:
http://www.irishtimes.com/news/consumer/you-want-two-children-that-ll-be-500-000-please-1.2754454

€500k is the cost of raising two children - depressing

R.D. aka MR.D

meeeeh wrote: »

But you wouldn't go to someone who was unsuccessfully trying for a child and say 'cheer up Love, you just saved half a million.' In the same way as you wouldn't say to someone who is just out of a miserable relationship: 'well your car insurance cost will go up now'. While it's completely decent article considering even Isis went on holidays lately and you need some content, life really isn't about totting up the euros.

Very true and I think people who want children will go ahead and have them anyway but I know for my husband the financial considerations of having kids definitely adds to his choice to be childfree. He has family members bringing up kids in poverty and that has a big impact on him.

For me, it's not about cost because as you say there are more important things than money.

I did read an interesting article recently about how many women are looking at the financials when considering having children or not. It was all about how there is a hidden cost of lost potential earnings. I don't know if I bought into it but it was interesting enough.

Gatica

At least in Ireland "anyone" can have a child. It's much harder in countries like the US, where you'd really want to count your chicks before they hatch! (any possible pun intended).

We've friends who'd love more than 2 kids but basically cannot afford it.

I think for someone who really wants kids, they're not gonna take detailed money counting into consideration. My family wasn't well off and they managed to bring me up just fine. However, it does help if you're able to afford child care, summer holidays and the like...

countryliving

hello, well i breathed a sigh of relief when i saw this thread...
i don't want kids i am not interested in having children, i don't like children it was never an ambition of mine to have children and at 42 i don't believe i will be having children either i am single. when i was in my last 20s i met a guy and he broke my heart - funnily enough he was the only guy i would have ever married and would like to have children.
however, i cannot say it out loud - i don't want children.
in my neighbourhood here in a rural place - the neighbours are look on with me with pity well some of them and can be so patrionising and say hopefully you'll meet someone and have kids...
i would like to meet someone - i meet plenty just not anyone i want to go out with...i am very happy with my decision that i don't want kids and i won't be having children...but it is a taboo and i cannot talk about it out LOUD...well i feel i can't...in fairness i know - 2 friends of mine that feel the same which is great. i do know another girl who is single and would love kids absolutely love kids but women have choices these days ... thank you for starting this forum. i do not want children and i am happy - very happy with my decision and i have a good life...

SpillingTheTea

I positively know 110% that I do not want to have children, yet I am met with probing questions constantly.
I am 26, and without blabbering on, I have so many reasons why not to have children. I have both a chronic physical illness and a bad enough mental illness that runs really rampant in my family (ie, my gran, my aunt, my mum and myself) and I personally just do not think it is fair to leave it up to chance that I could pass either or both illnesses on.
Secondly, I am the eldest. My mum had me very young because she wanted someone to love her unconditionally and because she wanted to cement her relationship with my dad. To me, that is incredibly selfish.

I'm engaged and planning my wedding and my mum just keeps saying the old sayings:

'you'll feel differently once you have a child'
'You will change your mind'

and the worst one she's said to me,

'It's not fair on your OH to deprive him of a family'


It's so difficult because I just don't want kids. I reared my youngest siblings when I was a teen while struggling with my job and school and tbh, that's it for me. I love kids. I am Godmother to my best friends child, who I completely spoil, but like so many of us here on the thread, I am just so happy I can hand her back to mum and dad haha