Holly Carpenter...whoever you are...

...write an essay about your New Year's Eve...but in the style of a 7 year old...

http://www.independent.ie/style/celebrity/holly-carpenter-celebrates-2016-with-boyfriend-danny-oreilly-at-coronas-nye-gig-34328771.html

Well done Holly. That was perfect.

Scuid Mhór

Ah, reading the Indepdent? There's your problem. I deleted my bookmark a few months ago when it became increasingly frustrating to see the newspaper itself try to ramp up the cultural relevance Irish celebrities who aren't celebrities. Not that there's anything wrong with this in itself, it's better than hearing about popular culture wayward the western empire, it's just that the articles themselves were vapid, uninteresting and generally a waste of time.

The sheer awful quality can be great for a laugh though.

The Pheasant2

This reads like a translation of an Irish essay I would've had to write for homework in first year about a concert I went to.

Scuid Mhór

Scuid Mhór wrote: »

Ah, reading the Indepdent? There's your problem. I deleted my bookmark a few months ago when it became increasingly frustrating to see the newspaper itself try to ramp up the cultural relevance Irish celebrities who aren't celebrities. Not that there's anything wrong with this in itself, it's better than hearing about popular culture wayward the western empire, it's just that the articles themselves were vapid, uninteresting and generally a waste of time.

The sheer awful quality can be great for a laugh though.

You're missing out on some outstanding journalism...the life of someone who ("obviously", according to her) is going out with some singer, the stress of coping with 3 dresses, the practicality of tapas when you're with a crowd etc. etc. I'm excited about the next instalment...

trixiebust

Here's another future classic...

http://www.independent.ie/style/voices/holly-carpenters-dublin-diary-my-prechristmas-trip-to-dubai-with-the-coronas-34298504.html

Ciderswigger

trixiebust wrote: »

Here's another future classic...

http://www.independent.ie/style/voices/holly-carpenters-dublin-diary-my-prechristmas-trip-to-dubai-with-the-coronas-34298504.html

Jesus wept. Is it an article or a diary?!

cerastes

I just have missed her rise to fame,
Who is this imbecile? Who is she related to?

She and her ilk make Amanda brunker look like a real journalist.

Galwayguy35

Ah it was a harmless article, she is only 24 she is hardly going to be writing about peace in the middle east.

It's a lot worse the Sunday World have Amanda Brunker writing about things she knows jack sh1t about.

cerastes

Ciderswigger wrote: »

Jesus wept. Is it an article or a diary?!

Loike, omg! owh my gawd, and I was loike,for real? And she said and he said and I was like oh my actual gawd!

Galwayguy35

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Ah it was a harmless article, she is only 24 she is hardly going to be writing about peace in the middle east...

24?

Dammit, I thought next week she might tell us about the school tour and seeing a cow for the first time...or maybe her favourite colour...

Galwayguy35

Deleted User wrote: »

24?

Dammit, I thought next week she might tell us about the school tour and seeing a cow for the first time...or maybe her favourite colour...

I never heard of her either but seemingly won Miss Ireland a few years ago.

ziedth

I read the Dubai link first and while I felt it definitely looked more like a blog entry then an article I didn't think it was absolutely awful or anything....... then I read the NYE article, I know the news has changed and everyone can't be an investigate journalists but that reads so much first year school essay.

Also the line "My boyfriend Danny O’Reilly was obviously playing with The Coronas" literally made me cringe

Heroditas

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I never heard of her either but seemingly won Miss Ireland a few years ago.

She's also Terry Keane's granddaughter

pickarooney

cerastes wrote: »

I just have missed her rise to fame,
Who is this imbecile? Who is she related to?

Terry Keane, apparently.

Liamario

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Ah it was a harmless article, she is only 24 she is hardly going to be writing about peace in the middle east.

It's a lot worse the Sunday World have Amanda Brunker writing about things she knows jack sh1t about.

Hold on now horse. Her age is irrelevant. This is meant to be a serious newspaper, or at least its misrepresenting itself as one.
Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that people care about what she's doing in her personal life. The article reads like musings of a child. It makes her look like a gob****e and it makes the paper look even worse.

Scuid Mhór

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

Ah it was a harmless article, she is only 24 she is hardly going to be writing about peace in the middle east.

It's a lot worse the Sunday World have Amanda Brunker writing about things she knows jack sh1t about.

Why not? By twenty-four most 'journalists' would be walking out of graduate school with the capability of stringing a sentence together. Plenty of people could write an intelligent article on difficult subject matter at that age. Allowing unnecessary exceptions like this is just contributing to the deteriorating quality of our national newspapers.

Edit: for clarity's sake, I'm significantly younger than the writer of the article and I can identify its various atrocities against journalistic literature with ease, many people younger than twenty-four would be able to as well.

DeanAustin

Jesus, that is embarrassing.

My dad is 78 and buys the Indo daily because that's what his father did back when the Indo was a newspaper. I'll have to have a word with him if that's now the standard of writing.

It's sad that 90% of people on this site could write better than that. That's without considering all the media graduates struggling for work.

Guess it helps to be pretty, have Terri Keane in the family and be shagging a Corona. Says much about the people of Ireland that there is a market for this garbage.

Galwayguy35

Scuid Mhór wrote: »

Why not? By twenty-four most 'journalists' would be walking out of graduate school with the capability of stringing a sentence together. Plenty of people could write an intelligent article on difficult subject matter at that age. Allowing unnecessary exceptions like this is just contributing to the deteriorating quality of our national newspapers.

Edit: for clarity's sake, I'm significantly younger than the writer of the article and I can identify its various atrocities against journalistic literature with ease, many people younger than twenty-four would be able to as well.

Sure wasn't it in the celebrity or showbiz part of the paper I think, yeah she made it all about herself but it seems to be a trend these days for the papers to get models to write articles in these sections.

It's still better IMO than having the likes of Brunker talking about serious issues she hasn't a clue about.

Muahahaha

Can't believe the Coronas were headlining above Fatboy Slim, like wtf?

I wonder did Holly ever get to the bottom of her fake stalker?

BenedrylPete

I read the article.
The article was good.
Articles are in newspapers.
When I grow up I want to be an article.

Bonzo Delaney

Indo = click bait.

NIMAN

I have been visiting the Independent website for several years now, and the dumbing down of it has been obvious over the last few years.

I think they see the success of the likes of the Daily Mail website, and are trying to do a version with Irish celebs, as few as we have compared to the UK.

It is not really a quality newspaper any more, and I visit it rarely now.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Quality aside, the hell really cares that someone went to a concert with their boyfriend last night? Someone please play Devil's Advocate here and tell me the logic behind who thinks who else would find this relevant?

Car99

Muahahaha wrote: »

Can't believe the Coronas were headlining above Fatboy Slim, like wtf?

I wonder did Holly ever get to the bottom of her fake stalker?

I'd sat the coronas rang in the new year then Fat boy took over as the real headline act

wizardman

She went out with Cian Healy previously. I remember an equally horrendous article about girls chatting up rugby player at a niteclub and she was right there loike.

NIMAN

She's a celebrity because of who she goes out with then?

Red Kev

It reads as if Ralph Wiggum was her english teacher in secondary school.

NIMAN

I think the tight dress and knee high boots are more important to the publishers than the article itself.

Azatadine

Does nobody proof read the articles before printing though? Surely somebody should be editing the articles to make them appear more professional? They really are shocking and unprofessional.

Jesus Wept

I enjoyed how she said something was obvious that wasn't at all obvious.

whatismyname

Je suis Mario wrote: »

I enjoyed how she said something was obvious that wasn't at all obvious.

Yes that was my favourite bit too

NIMAN

I enjoyed that too.

Is there a name for when someone does that?

Diabhal Beag

LOL @ people thinking the Indo is a serious newspaper. Mulally and Tobin make the Sunday World look like the work of Noam Chomsky in comparison.

NIMAN

NIMAN wrote: »

I enjoyed that too.

Is there a name for when someone does that?

Intense stupidity.

OU812

Lucky for her that she's pretty...

The King of Moo

"(Left) Holly Carpenter: (Right) Danny O'Reilly"

That's my favourite part.

Berserker

Heroditas wrote: »

She's also Terry Keane's granddaughter

Nepotism is alive and well in Ireland still.

Muahahaha wrote: »

Can't believe the Coronas were headlining above Fatboy Slim, like wtf?

It was broadcast of RTE, so I suspect that they wanted to have an Irish act headlining it. Watched about five minutes of it and it was awful.

everlast75

Just after reading that piece and already I can feel like my brain... is........ really.............
like........ em.... turning...
....
....
stupider

nullzero

Ireland is a fantastic country, if you're attractive and hang around the right night clubs you can end up making a living from doing absolutely nothing. I love these people, fair play to them for being so attractive and... stuff, fair play in fairness,to be fair to them in fairness.

TerrorFirmer

I don't see the issue. It's the 'celebrity' section of the online website, it's not like it's being pushed as headline news! A huge number of online media sources have sections devoted to this sort of stuff - no-one is forcing you to read it.

Not a huge fan of the Irish Independent, but it's generally pretty OK and using an explicitly labelled 'Celebrity/Society' section of their website as an example of why it's apparently a dreadful newspaper is just incredibly childish.

Also, please consider that thousands of additional people may have read that article now since it's been linked here - I know I now have, and certainly wouldn't have otherwise.

Ally Dick

She's as thick as bottled sh!t, but she is absolutely gorgeous. Drinks Corona apparently

PowerToWait

cerastes wrote: »

I just have missed her rise to fame.

Yes, she seems to have risen without a trace.

Xaracatz

Whatever about the "I went to the shops. I saw a red balloon. Ice cream is tasty." style..

I had a little bit of last-minute stress before I went out, though, as three dresses I ordered online on Monday and paid for express shipping to have them delivered in time for New Year’s Eve, but there was still no sign of them yesterday morning, so I had to resort to my back-up plan – as they say “first-world problems”.

What kind of unfortunate sentence is that? You could use all the coloured crayons and sparkles in the world, and it will wouldn't make it onto the fridge door.

Wibbs

PowerToWait wrote: »

Yes, she seems to have risen without a trace.

*bows*

RhubarbCrumble

BenedrylPete wrote: »

When I grow up I want to be an article.

"When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University" - Where Ms Carpenter obviously went.

Ally Dick

Next week should be a good article - Gerald Kean and Lisa Murphy bring in the New Year in Drayton Manor, in a series of painfully staged photographs, while the rabble of Wicklow queue for the soup kitchen. "Let them eat caiike" exclaims the lovely Lisa, while Gerald throws another log on his gargantuan fire

the evasion_kid

reads like ann and barry..,.

"ann and barry went to the shop.ann likes sweets,barry likes jam"

S. Goodspeed

I don't hold this against Holly at all. If I write a sh*te article and a "newspaper" publishes it its the editors fault. She's not a journalist but somewhere along the line a professional journalist read this and decided it was good to go. Shameless.

One question, why is there a random photo of her in Dubai at the end??

TerrorFirmer

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I don't see the issue. It's the 'celebrity' section of the online website, it's not like it's being pushed as headline news! A huge number of online media sources have sections devoted to this sort of stuff - no-one is forcing you to read it.

Not a huge fan of the Irish Independent, but it's generally pretty OK and using an explicitly labelled 'Celebrity/Society' section of their website as an example of why it's apparently a dreadful newspaper is just incredibly childish.

Also, please consider that thousands of additional people may have read that article now since it's been linked here - I know I now have, and certainly wouldn't have otherwise.

Ummmm.

I didn't say I was forced to read it. I read it and laughed. That's the only point I was making.

I'm delighted more people will read it. I hope they laugh too.

I think you are making points in response to someone who critiqued its journalistic merit, or hoped no one might read it. That wasn't me.

NIMAN

Of course people will say there's no harm in it, and don't read it if you don't enjoy it, but the issue I have with it is that these sort of people are being pushed as role models for our youngsters.

Same as the likes of Jordan in the UK. Or Kerry Katona ffs. Young girls now think that because JOrdan is a millionaire, that is the life they should aim for. To be pretty and sexy is the main thing, to get photographed, to become a WAG or celebrity in spite of no talent whatsoever.

I hope I can persuade my daughter that there are much better female role models than these bits of fluff.

Samaris

I...am usually inclined to give the benefit of the doubt, but good gods, would even The Sun take that rubbish?