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Viral Facebook video speaking out about domestic violence (Read mod note in the OP)

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    #62
    bucketybuck
    Registered Users Posts: 18,109 ✭✭✭✭bucketybuck


    Mightydrumming wrote: »
    Well as of now, the man in question hasn't disagreed with the claims. He deleted all social media. If I was wrongly accused of such allegations, my first order of business would be to come out and tell my side of the story.

    What, go on Jeremy Kyle and tell his side of the story? You can't respond to a mob, the chances of anything you say being believed is next to zero.

    Maybe he is guilty, I have no idea, but damn sure this isn't the way to go about proving it.


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    #63
    Mightydrumming
    Registered Users Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Mightydrumming


    Riskymove wrote: »
    on the flip side a concern must be that this will end with the man getting off it ends up in court due to the publicity and difficulties getting a fair trial etc.

    I agree with that 100% but maybe the woman in question didn't want to go through the courts and let it drag out. I believe she has already got justice on the hard man, a lot more than what the courts would or could have done.


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    #64
    Riskymove
    Registered Users Posts: 10,885 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    mikom wrote: »
    Interestingly yer man tweeted on Apr 18th............ "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up".

    so he is a plagiarist too heh?


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    #65
    Mightydrumming
    Registered Users Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Mightydrumming


    bucketybuck wrote: »
    What, go on Jeremy Kyle and tell his side of the story? You can't respond to a mob, the chances of anything you say being believed is next to zero.

    Maybe he is guilty, I have no idea, but damn sure this isn't the way to go about proving it.

    Agree to disagree Bucket. You have your opinions, I have mine.


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    #66
    Riskymove
    Registered Users Posts: 10,885 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    Mightydrumming wrote: »
    I agree with that 100% but maybe the woman in question didn't want to go through the courts and let it drag out. I believe she has already got justice on the hard man, a lot more than what the courts would or could have done.

    one of the sites says that she reported him to the Guards a day or two before releasing the video


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    #67
    shakencat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,589 ✭✭✭shakencat


    The guards see her injury as minor and wouldn't help her.


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    #68
    Riskymove
    Registered Users Posts: 10,885 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    shakencat wrote: »
    The guards see her injury as minor and wouldn't help her.

    jaysus...can that be backed up with a source?

    I've seen assault charges for less than that


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    #69
    shakencat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,589 ✭✭✭shakencat


    she herself said it on the radio last night and this morning, as have her friends, and family..

    so she did try to go other ways about it and couldn't get help.


    (other than her brothers want to break his legs)


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    #70
    Mightydrumming
    Registered Users Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Mightydrumming


    Would that be on 98FM? I'm having a listen to the podcast now.


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    #71
    shakencat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,589 ✭✭✭shakencat


    Mightydrumming wrote: »
    Would that be on 98FM? I'm having a listen to the podcast now.

    i know its on 98fm podcast with adrian....


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    #72
    Not a NSA agent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 781 ✭✭✭Not a NSA agent


    blue note wrote: »
    If he's innocent he can sue her for defamation of character and show the world the claims were unfounded. If he's not he has nothing to complain about.

    A court saying he is innocent wont go viral though. Someone might put up an irish times link to the article in this thread, it will get a few more pages and then thats it.

    If he is guilty I have no sympathy but we are only hearing one of the parties involved. There's a huge difference between punching your spouse when arguing and punching your spouse after they go at you with a knife, not saying that's what happened but just an example of a situation were the person with the black eye wouldn't be the victim. Much like with sexual assault claims I feel uneasy about destroying a persons life based on something one person claimed, it wouldn't be the first or last time someone has done it. This man could be guilty of innocent but the damage is already done and most people will view him as guilty regardless of any court cases.


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    #73
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Riskymove wrote: »
    jaysus...can that be backed up with a source?

    I've seen assault charges for less than that

    It's a domestic. I've seen victims with worse injuries and the gardai can't help. You can't lock someone up indefinitely for an assault and when they share a home and kids what can be done?


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    #74
    Riskymove
    Registered Users Posts: 10,885 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    eviltwin wrote: »
    It's a domestic. I've seen victims with worse injuries and the gardai can't help. You can't lock someone up indefinitely for an assault and when they share a home and kids what can be done?

    jaysus surely you can still be charged with assault and get whatever penalty you get if found guilty

    It would surely help with a barring order and future protections for the family?

    are we suggesting there is no consequence at all to giving a partner a black eye?


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    #75
    NachoBusiness
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,389 ✭✭✭NachoBusiness


    Drumpot wrote: »
    A woman was allegedly beaten, her marriage is probably over and its most definitely effected her children.

    Yes, allegedly, but I don't care if it was a woman or a man. Makes no odds to me.

    Had a man with a black eye posted a video to FB, with his kids running around in the background, saying his wife hit him with something and how the kids will one day know their mammy hit their daddy and was giving advice to other men on what they should do should their wives be hitting them, just two days after the altercation, with no mention of the authorities having been contacted, I would say that he too should not have posted the video up online at that stage.
    Yet you feel compelled to start a debate about the manner in which she communicated it ? You think a person who possibly suffered mental and physical abuse should be able to take rational/objective and conservative actions when carefully considering how to deal with this trauma ?

    No, not particularly but just because her actions might be borne from irrationality, doesn't make them immune from criticism. It's about time people stopped using social media to remedy problems in their life that are best dealt with by the authorities. She has done herself no favours. No putting the toothpaste back in tube now.


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    #76
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Riskymove wrote: »
    jaysus surely you can still be charged with assault and get whatever penalty you get if found guilty

    It would surely help with a barring order and future protections for the family?

    are we suggesting there is no consequence at all to giving a partner a black eye?

    What happens in the meantime while you're waiting for a court date, living with someone who may be putting pressure on you to drop charges? Most assault victims don't live with their attackers, that's why domestic violence is so different and difficult to deal with. You think every man or woman living with this is not doing enough to get out or that it's easy to deal with?


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    #77
    Riskymove
    Registered Users Posts: 10,885 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    eviltwin wrote: »
    What happens in the meantime while you're waiting for a court date, living with someone who may be putting pressure on you to drop charges? Most assault victims don't live with their attackers, that's why domestic violence is so different and difficult to deal with. You think every man or woman living with this is not doing enough to get out or that it's easy to deal with?

    ?

    my concerns are at the guards refusal to charge/prosecute because "its a domestic"

    I'm not sure what you are asking of me here?


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    #78
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Riskymove wrote: »
    ?

    my concerns are at the guards refusal to charge/prosecute because "its a domestic"

    I'm not sure what you are asking of me here?

    I'm not asking you anything just pointing out that you have a lot of faith in the justice system if you think anyone who gets a black eye from their partner will get much support from gardai.


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    #79
    Riskymove
    Registered Users Posts: 10,885 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    eviltwin wrote: »
    I'm not asking you anything just pointing out that you have a lot of faith in the justice system if you think anyone who gets a black eye from their partner will get much support from gardai.

    well I think my point is that they should investigate every complaint and charge someone if the evidence is there

    I appreciate the difficulties and the possibility of dropped charges and false claims and everything else butif the Gardaí are really just saying "sorry its a domestic and we don't deal with them" then that is a really serious situation.


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    #80
    Pumpkinseeds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,635 ✭✭✭Pumpkinseeds


    blue note wrote: »
    If he's innocent he can sue her for defamation of character and show the world the claims were unfounded. If he's not he has nothing to complain about.

    How exactly does he prove it if she's lying? There are no witnesses, other than the kids, if indeed he did hit her and if the kids did see it. It's a case of he said she said.


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    #81
    LollipopJimmy
    Registered Users Posts: 5,431 ✭✭✭LollipopJimmy


    That video pissed me off no end. I say this as a male and a victim of fairly serious domestic abuse including violence with weapons and mental abuse which led me to destroy almost every relationship I've been in since.

    She spoke a lot about how a man shouldn't hit a woman in a relationship. Sorry lady, nobody in a relationship should be raising a hand to their partner, affairs or not. She said she threw his phone, did she throw it at him? Was she violent towards him? The impression I get from her video is she thinks it's ok for a woman to hit a man. I'm not condoning for a second what he did, the man is clearly scum. But standards need to be the same on both sides

    It's not and if a woman hits me again the way I was abused before I will be giving the same back. But I can see the signs now and won't put myself in that situation again


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    #82
    Riskymove
    Registered Users Posts: 10,885 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    LollipopJimmy wrote: »
    She said she threw his phone, did she throw it at him? Was she violent towards him?

    I think she said she "went through his phone" i.e. found some evidence if cheating


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    #83
    NachoBusiness
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,389 ✭✭✭NachoBusiness


    Does anyone have a link to the 98FM show she was on.

    Their website is impossible to find anything on.


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    #84
    blue note
    Registered Users Posts: 4,505 ✭✭✭blue note


    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    How exactly does he prove it if she's lying? There are no witnesses, other than the kids, if indeed he did hit her and if the kids did see it. It's a case of he said she said.

    If it's a case of he said she said then I'd say he might very well win a court case. I'd imagine she'd need some evidence to prove that she was hit.


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    #85
    denhaagenite
    Registered Users Posts: 1,169 ✭✭✭denhaagenite


    LollipopJimmy wrote: »
    if a woman hits me again the way I was abused before I will be giving the same back. But I can see the signs now and won't put myself in that situation again

    Glad you can see the signs but I would sincerely advise you not to raise your hand to anyone, under any circumstances, because if you do then it won't do you any favours.


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    #86
    Pumpkinseeds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,635 ✭✭✭Pumpkinseeds


    blue note wrote: »
    If it's a case of he said she said then I'd say he might very well win a court case. I'd imagine she'd need some evidence to prove that she was hit.

    I doubt it's that simple. I have no sympathy for her tbh. She should have gone to the gardai and reported it. Now she's dragging her kids through a public free for all between her and their father. Public muck slinging is what it is and I don't think that it does help victims of domestic violence. Of course nobody should be violent towards their partner, male of female. This whole thing smacks of vindictiveness for his cheating. She may of course be telling the truth, I don't know, as just like everyone else on the planet, I wasn't a witness to the incident.


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    #87
    Mightydrumming
    Registered Users Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Mightydrumming


    NachoBusiness wrote: »
    Does anyone have a link to the 98FM show she was on.

    Their website is impossible to find anything on.

    http://www.98fm.com/podcasts/Dublin_Talks/98FMs_Dublin_Talks/37894/Emma_The_woman_behind_the_domestic_abuse_video


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    #88
    Drumpot
    Registered Users Posts: 19,306 ✭✭✭✭Drumpot


    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    I doubt it's that simple. I have no sympathy for her tbh. She should have gone to the gardai and reported it. Now she's dragging her kids through a public free for all between her and their father. Public muck slinging is what it is and I don't think that it does help victims of domestic violence. Of course nobody should be violent towards their partner, male of female. This whole thing smacks of vindictiveness for his cheating. She may of course be telling the truth, I don't know, as just like everyone else on the planet, I wasn't a witness to the incident.

    So you:

    • have no sympathy for her
    • believe its a case of public muck slinging
    • believe this smacks of vindictiveness

    But admit:

    • she may be telling the truth
    • you weren't a witness to the incident

    Do you see anything wrong with your post ? Anything at all ?


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    #89
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    NachoBusiness wrote: »
    Does anyone have a link to the 98FM show she was on.

    Their website is impossible to find anything on.

    It's on the Adrian and Jeremy Facebook page


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    #90
    Pumpkinseeds
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,635 ✭✭✭Pumpkinseeds


    Drumpot wrote: »
    So you:

    • have no sympathy for her
    • believe its a case of public muck slinging
    • believe this smacks of vindictiveness

    But admit:

    • she may be telling the truth
    • you weren't a witness to the incident

    Do you see anything wrong with your post ? Anything at all ?


    I haven't 'admitted' anything matey. I merely pointed out that there are 2 sides to the story. If you believe every accusation you hear you might want to check if there's 'anything wrong' with you 'anything at all'


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    #91
    Mightydrumming
    Registered Users Posts: 746 ✭✭✭Mightydrumming


    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    I have no sympathy for her tbh.

    Your opinion.
    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    She should have gone to the gardai and reported it.

    She did. The Gardaí classed the case as 'minor'.
    Pumpkinseeds wrote: »
    She may of course be telling the truth, I don't know, as just like everyone else on the planet, I wasn't a witness to the incident.

    Not everyone. She clearly stated on an interview that her friend witnessed one of many incidents.


    Please get the facts right before you rant utter sh!te.


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