Do you intend to get married?

frostyjacks

Cold War Kid wrote: »

I'd do it for the next-of-kin aspect - it's stupid but your partner can't be your next-of-kin, only your spouse.
But of course an unmarried relationship can be just as, sometimes moreso, committed as a married one.

I prefer to see actions, not words. It's easy to say you're committed when you could leave in the morning without so much as a by-your-leave.

Rubberlegs

frostyjacks wrote: »

I prefer to see actions, not words. It's easy to say you're committed when you could leave in the morning without so much as a by-your-leave.

Married people have been known to walk out on each other too!

efb

Super-Rush wrote: »

Thai.

dgt

Yes. To myself

smurgen

Hopefully I'll find an aul doll with a presentable gear box and marry her. Sick of fake chowing winches.

Just a little Samba

Not presently but that could change.

Summer wind

I'm with my husband 21 years and we have been married for 15 of those. Being married doesn't make our relationship any better than a couple that live together but I'm glad we are.

Galwayguy35

Was nearly married years ago but I called it off, but yeah I would like to get married someday.

Mister Vain

If herself agreed to do it in a registry office I'd consider it, but there is no way I could do the whole wedding thing tbh. I absolutely hate weddings, they're so cheesy and contrived. The speeches alone would turn me off doing it. I can't think of a single person I could choose as a best man either.

Menas

I am married. I love it. Marraige suits me.
I am not sure the wife is so keen though...imagine having to be married to me forever?

8-10

eviltwin wrote: »

I was never pushed about marriage but when you own a property it makes financial sense. I don't want to be hit with an inheritance tax bill I can't afford on a house I bought. Getting married seemed like a no brainer. We paid fifty euros, didn't have a reception and very few people outside close family and friends would even know

Plus the pooling of tax credits to reduce what you pay on the top rate of tax! Makes a serious difference

Diamond Doll

I'd quite like to get married, purely for the unromantic reasons ... the tax benefits wouldn't apply to us, for now, but I'd like to from the point of view of next-of-kin, guardianship, inheritance rights, etc.

I'd hate a wedding, it would definitely be a civil ceremony job, 250e and sign whatever paperwork, job done. No interest in a big white dress or a party or anything.

My parter is just anti-marriage, so it'll probably never happen. We'll see!

JacquesDeLad

I reckon I'll have four weddings a funeral.

Menas

Der Fluss wrote: »

Why is it deemed a good idea to be unnecessarily committed, surely leaving your options open is the best for everyone.

Der Fluss wrote: »

What's so great about being married?

It works for me, I like it, like how been married feels and like sharing my life with someone.
If you want to 'leave your options open' then marriage is clearly not for you.
Thats ok by me too. Each to their own.

Menas

Der Fluss wrote: »

What if you fall out of love with your spouse, you'll have to spend the rest of your life with them.

If only we had divorce in this country....
If you are worried about falling out of love with your partner, that is a good reason not to get married.

Menas

Der Fluss wrote: »

So it's not really commitment then.

What?
How could you deduce that from what I said? Divorce is there for those marraiges that dont work out. If you dont want to commit, or want to keep your options open, or worry about falling out of love then dont get married.
NOw, I think you are trolling so wont engage any more with you.
Good luck!

Caovyn Lineah

When I got with my girlfriend 6 years ago we both hated the idea of marriage and both said it was something we had no interest in ever doing.


We've been engaged for a month.

MistyCheese

I'm not sure I'm getting your point Derr Fluss. Is it 'People who are married are no less committed than people who are unmarried because there's always divorce?' That would really only work if there was a way to opt out so some couples could tick 'Yes, we would like the option for a divorce in the future of things don't work out' and other couples could tick 'No way, no divorce for us no matter what.'

Der Fluss

MistyCheese wrote: »

I'm not sure I'm getting your point Derr Fluss. Is it 'People who are married are no less committed than people who are unmarried because there's always divorce?' That would really only work if there was a way to opt out so some couples could tick 'Yes, we would like the option for a divorce in the future of things don't work out' and other couples could tick 'No way, no divorce for us no matter what.'

Mr point is people speak of marriage as commitment, but if you can separate or get divorced then it's not a commitment, certainly no a "big commitment".

MistyCheese

Ah okay I see your point now.

A lot of people who get married feel more committed to each other. They've gone to the bother of getting all their documents in order and paying €200 for a licence and many choose to add a religious aspect so have further things to sort out in relation to that.

Then of course the majority of couples go on to have some sort of party celebration after, be it a formal ballroom and sit down meal for 200 with a chocolate fountain and a light up dancefloor or a barbecue in the back yard.

So most couples who up and decide to organise all that and stand up together in front of invited friends and family to pledge their eternal love for each other and intention to remain a partnership and a team forevermore do feel like they've made a commitment.

You might argue that's all in their heads because they might not remain together til death they do part but no-one can see into the future in that way. You can only make a vow based on all current knowledge. If a married couple does part it's not as simple as a boyfriend and girlfriend going their separate ways because of that promise, that declaration of intention. That's why many couples' feel they have a different mindset after making that promise of commitment.

worded

It's good for inheritance rights of the other partner. If you have a house and want it to pass to your S.O its a good idea.

Aside from that I see little advantage.

Affairs and break ups are very common now amongst couples even in long term 10 year + relationships. its costly and time consuming to exit marraige even if amicable.

So no thanks to marraige

frostyjacks

Der Fluss wrote: »

Mr point is people speak of marriage as commitment, but if you can separate or get divorced then it's not a commitment, certainly no a "big commitment".

So how do you define a big commitment in a relationship, if marriage doesn't meet your standard?

SMJSF

I would if I found the right person... But I'm not the type of woman who would push for it.
I don't like the idea of all the fuss and stress.
I would if the future husband agreed to have it at home, with only a small amount of people there, such as his parent/s and close family. (I don't have the best relationship with my own).
No dress, or music or anything.
I wouldn't like the crowd, the flowers, the food, Etc. I think its a waste of money for the couple for everyone else to enjoy.
It's only the two people declaring themselves to each other.
But I wouldn't be unhappy if I never got married.

hatrickpatrick

I want a lifelong relationship, but in my view security makes people lazy. So in my mind, an unmarried relationship has less chance of disintegrating.

EDIT: Just to clarify, my opposition is to marriage itself, not to weddings. I'd have no problem throwing a massive whopper of a session to celebrate my relationship, I just don't think security is a good thing. Knowing I can be dumped tomorrow morning at the drop of a hat means I know I have to put my relationship, my manner, my appearance, my personality first and make her happy. Once you have security, it seems inevitable that the amount of effort will subconsciously decline over time.

Menas

La Motocicletta wrote: »

You can't really call it commitment if you are open to divorce or separation as a possibility.

So no body in this country who got married since the divorce referendum has made a commitment?
Ridiculous argument.

worded

worded wrote: »

It's good for inheritance rights of the other partner. If you have a house and want it to pass to your S.O its a good idea.

Aside from that I see little advantage.

There are also incomce tax advantages, next of kin rights and parental rights.

eviltwin

I'm not into fuss and big dos either but they are not compulsory. Its amazing the amount of people who are turned off marriage because they hate the idea of being the centre of attention. There is a big difference between a wedding and a marriage.

P_1

Not too sure if it would be for me to be honest. It'd be probably something I'd do if my innings was drawing to an end to ensure no tax nightmares or if I somehow manage to spawn a mini-me. Plus there's the not so insignificant hurdle of finding someone who would put up with me...

P_1

P_1 wrote: »

Not too sure if it would be for me to be honest. It'd be probably something I'd do if my innings was drawing to an end to ensure no tax nightmares or if I somehow manage to spawn a mini-me. Plus there's the not so insignificant hurdle of finding someone who would put up with me...

Hear, hear

eviltwin

Miriam Thousands Stake wrote: »

There are also incomce tax advantages, next of kin rights and parental rights.

That's very true and a big part of why I got married but you shouldn't have to get married to have those rights.